TRUE CONFESSIONS

Talk about a literary tell-all!

I can't believe how brave she is.

First, let me say, you know, sometimes you just meet someone who’s the real deal. The genuine article. A stalwart pal. But I’m realizing now, I’ve never met Janet Koch in person. Which is odd, because I really feel as if I know her. Miracle of internet technology.

She’s hilarious. Clever. Talented. Makes fantastic book videos. And is soon to be multiply-published! But today, she comes to Jungle Red as the bravest blogger this side of –ah, maybe she’s actually the bravest.

And this was all her idea.

Favorite Books I’ve Never Read

JANET: As my husband can attest, I read a lot. (“Turn off that light. It’s time to go to sleep.”) Once he asked me how many books I’d read in my life. Um, no clue. Since I’m the kind of person who alphabetizes her spices and keeps the clothes in her closet organized by color, in 2004 I started keeping a spreadsheet of the books I’ve read. On average, I read 138 books per year, or just over two and a half books a week. At that rate you’d think I’d have read everything I wanted to read, right? Not quite.

Yep, there are still an awful lot of books out there that I want to read. The list would be shorter if I’d chosen English for my college major instead of geology, but back in 19-whatever my wishes and desires were different than today.

So. I’ve never read The Old Curiosity Shop. I’ve also never read Anna Karenina or One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Never read On the Road or Jude the Obscure and I’ve never once managed to make it all the way through Gravity’s Rainbow.

Sad, isn’t it? But it gets worse.

On the mystery side of things I’ve never read The Big Sleep, The Woman in White, The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, The Maltese Falcon, The Talented Mr. Ripley, or The Mystery of Edwin Drood.

Pathetic situation for someone who claims to be writing mysteries.

Then there are the children’s books I’ve never read. Children’s literature fascinates me, but I’ve still never read Wind in the Willows. Or Where the Red Fern Grows. I’ve also never read The Voyages of Doctor Dolittle, Mr. Popper’s Penguins, The Wheel on the School, or The Cricket in Times Square.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

And that’s just the fiction. If I tallied my unread non-fiction (Silent Spring, The Guns of August, The Double Helix, Up From Slavery, etc.) we’d be here all day.

But in spite of my haven’t-read-this-yet list, I don’t quite feel like gum on the bottom of a shoe. Every year I make sure to read some classics, some non-fiction, and a number of new authors. Examples? From my 2009 list: The Story of My Life by Helen Keller, Symphony of Spirits by Deborah Forrest, and In the Woods by Tana French. Not so bad, eh?

And I feel sure that eventually I’ll get around to finishing Gravity’s Rainbow. Right after I read Wind in the Willows. Which comes right after The Big Sleep and The Old Curiosity Shop and…

HANK: Fine. I’ll play. I’ve never read The Woman in White, either. (Hallie is going to kill us. But I have the book RIGHT HERE. Does that count?) Or A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. (Rosemary, yeah, I know. My bad.)
(And Janet—a list? You are so wonderfully organized. But you have to read Ackroyd and Ripley. Really. You’ll be glad.)

How about you guys? Fess up! What books have you never read? You’ll feel better if you tell. And we will, too.

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After 11 years and 6 1/3 unpublished manuscripts, Janet Koch (writing as Laura Alden) recently signed a three-book contract with NAL for a cozy series.

(JRW: Who hoo! We’re so delighted.)

The series features a divorced mother of two who was goaded by her so-called best friend into becoming the new secretary of the local Parent Teacher Organization. With a little bit of luck (Janet says this—JRW knows she’s already worked harder than anyone and she’s made her own luck), the first in the series will be published in late Janet lives in northern Michigan with her husband and two cats. When she’s not working on her cozy manuscript, she’s freelance writing for the local newspaper, studying for her nurse’s aide exam, reading, or doing some variety of skiing.