Jake Piper: Song of an Investigating Puppy Dog

HALLIE: This bit of diversion comes from Susannah Charleson who visited Jungle Red earlier this year when her bestselling "Scent of the Missing" came out. A memoir of love and partnership, in it Susannah writes about training a spunky golden retriever, Puzzle (photo, left), for search and rescue.

Since then, Susannah adopted a stray, Piper (photo, right), a new brother to SAR dog Puzzle. According to Susannah who knows these things, Piper has an inspired nose.

Reading Susannah's poem on Piper, I have to agree -- does this dog have the makings of a mystery sleuth of what?

I Am the Very Model of an Investigating Puppy Dog
by Jake Piper, Puppy
(With apologies to Arthur Sullivan and W.S. Gilbert – Susannah Charleson, 2010)

I am the very model of an investigating puppy dog
I ferret out enigmas where they lurk in fields and muddy bogs
I have a nose superlative and four paws that work constantly
At home and hearth and walks abroad, wherever there’s a mystery.

I’m very well acquainted with the ruses people often use:
The fake mustaches, altered voices, tiptoeing without their shoes
I analyze their motives and then make an educated guess,
With propositions for the reasons of their lack of cleverness.

With propositions for the reasons of their lack of cleverness!
With propositions for the reasons of their lack of cleverness!
With startling propositions for their absolutely absent cleverness!

I’m very good at waiting out a perpetrator where he hides.
I’m not deceived by altered routes or wading creeks, then crossing sides.
In short where there’s perplexity a-lurking in the evening fog,
I am the very model of an investigating puppy dog

In short where there’s perplexity a-lurking in the evening fog,
He is the very model of an investigating puppy dog!

I know that kitty litter pans are so totally out of bounds,
But I’m the dog to seek them out, with my nose low they’re easily found.
Then I can analyze the HAZMAT dangers and their properties,
And reveal the foul and feline in their gritty little mysteries!

I speak to neighbors when they want me to and also when they don’t.
I practice disobedience when trainers hope I really won’t.
But I can draw conclusions from where no one else would ever look,
Then quote entire passages from Puzzle’s Houghton Mifflin book!

Then quote entire passages from Puzzle’s Houghton Mifflin book!
Then quote entire passages from Puzzle’s Houghton Mifflin book!
Then quote entire passages from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt’s Puzzle book!

And I can find your laundry when you think it’s in a well-hid place,
And show its ugly truths in an embarrassingly public space.
In short where there’s perplexity a-lurking in the evening fog,
I am the very model of an investigating puppy dog.

In short where there’s perplexity a-lurking in the evening fog, He is the very model of an investigating puppy dog!

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