Merry Christmas from Jungle Red Writers!

And a one
And a two
And a-
All together now!
Follow the little bouncing ball..
**Mitch Miller



HANK: Last year, about this time, I was deep into revisions. In order to prevent myself from actually working, I decided (as any of us would) to write new words to an old song. The revisions were fine, and now just a fond memory. The book will be out next year, if all goes as planned. But the song? Well, it's almost Christmas day so what better time to do a little Jungle Red caroling!

On the first day of revisions, my editor said to me:

A partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the second day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Write a little faster

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the third day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Try to use some humor

Write a little faster

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the fourth day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Make your chapters shorter

Try to use some humor

Write a little faster

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the fifth day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Find a better plot!

Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the sixth day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Six weeks til deadline

Find a better plot!

Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the seventh day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Seven chapters bore me

Six weeks til deadline

Find a better plot!

Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the eighth day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Eight titles vetoed

Seven chapters bore me

Six weeks til deadline

Find a better plot!
Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the ninth day of revisions, my editor said to me:
Nine new characters needed

Eight titles vetoed

Seven chapters bore me

Six weeks til deadline
Find a better plot!

Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the tenth day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Ten motivations missing

Nine new characters needed

Eight titles vetoed

Seven chapters bore me

Six weeks til deadline

Find a better plot!

Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the eleventh day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Eleven conflicts iffy

Ten motivations missing
Nine new characters needed

Eight titles vetoed

Seven chapters bore me

Six weeks til deadline

Find a better plot!
Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the twelfth day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Twelve months til the sequel

Eleven conflicts iffy

Ten motivations missing

Nine more characters needed

Eight titles vetoed

Seven chapters bore me

Six weeks til deadline
Find a better plot!

Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

ROBERTA: Love the song Hank. But I'd still much rather revise than write that dratted first draft!

HANK: Oh, I actually love revisions. Not that you'd know it from the song. But let's see, maybe I should write a first draft song. Or better, a synopsis song.

To the tune of MARIA:

Synopsis!

I still have to write my synopsis

But not one useful word

Or sentence has occured

To me....

Okay, sing along! Anyone??? And Happy Holidays!