And this above all, to thine own self be true...

HANK: I've had many an intern in my days as a reporter--the gorgeous college girls who want to be anchors, and the enthusiastic journalism students who want to be Woodward and Bernstein--some even know who W and B are. The guys who ALL want to do sports, and the very few who want to write. There are also ..well, more than a few, who have NO IDEA. They are facing college graduation in a week or two--and they're terrified.

Terrified! And I try to tell them (terrified myself that I am FORTY YEARS OLDER than they are) that if you can allow yourself to believe it, that could be a very exciting thing. The whole world is out there for you--you just have to participate.

So they usually nod, and try to understand that. Although you can't, really, at that age. The unknown is scary. I say--fly! fly! And I just hope someday they' ll remember what I told them.

But yesterday, my little exit interview speech was a flop. This young woman listened to me, nodding, but I had the feeling she was just waiting for me to stop talking. So I asked..anything you'd like to talk about or ask me?

And she says, yes, actually. Can you tell me how I can just skip the boring entry- level jobs and just get to the fun part?

I must say that one floored me. I burst out laughing, and then said--no. (And then went on--you can imagine.)

I'm sure she was disappointed. And probably thinks I'm just keeping some big secret from her.
Did anyone try to tell you anything at this point in your life? Would you have believed that? What would you have told my intern?"

ROSEMARY: The problem is..even if I could think of something I wish I'd been told, chances are I wouldn't have followed the person's advice anyway. I'm not especially proud of it, but I have frequently had to learn things the hard way.

HALLIE: Ah, yes, that breathtaking sense of entitlement. We go on about how you have to 'pay your dues' and get rewarded with eye rolling--the same eye rolling by the way, that I gave my father to his "had to walk 3 miles to school in the snow" lecture when I wanted to know why I had to walk to school.

Do people still "work their way up from the mailroom?" Does the mailroom--or its analogue--still even exist?

ROBERTA: I guess I wish I had known that each little setback isn't the end of the world. That we shouldn't forget to stay in the moment, enjoy the process, and once we do our best, let the rest happen. I wouldn't really want to be graduating from college again, but I wouldn't mind a little extra time and energy, if you know what I mean:).

DEB: Hank, that is too funny. Did you tell her that if she can't learn to enjoy the boring, entry level parts, she won't enjoy the "fun" stuff either?

As for advice, I'm still waiting . . . Seriously, I think at some level I've always know most of the basics, said so succinctly by Roberta. But there's a big difference between knowing and DOING, and therein lies the rub. I wish someone had told me when I was twenty (or younger) to keep a gratitude journal, and I wish that even now I was better at sticking to it. Writing down ten things that you are grateful for EVERY day makes you constantly aware, and that can be a huge life changer.

Now, um, where did I put that journal??

HANK: Oh, that's a great idea Deb. I just read an article about a therapist who begins by asking his patients what they're grateful for. One said he wasn't grateful for anything. The therapist said--how about our dog, are you grateful for your dog? And the patient said, yeah, I'm grateful for the dog. Su the thearpist said--how about the sun? Are you grateful for the sun? And the patient paused and said--Yeah. I guess. Sometimes.

I don't know why I love that so much.

The grateful journal is a brilliant idea. I'm going to try it.

JAN: We used to say in the newspaper business that every job has its "obits" which comes from obituaries because they used to be the first thing you'd be assigned to - particularly at a small newspaper. And I always tell that to my kids. It goes along with my advice that everyone should have to waitress or wait on other people in some way so that they know firsthand why its important to be polite.

I'm pretty shocked at the intern, who finds herself with a plum internship, and wants to just get to the fun part -- but hopefully, that was just her sense of humor.

HANK: Jannie, nooope. The part of her personality, I fear, is missing. SO far.

So again, Jungle Reds: Think back--Did anyone try to tell you anything at this point in your life? Would you have believed that? What would you have told my intern?"

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TOUR ALERT: Hank and Hallie (with the amazing Cara Black!) will be at the Boston Public Library on Wednesday May 4, and Porter Square Books in Cambridge on Thursday May 5! Check our websites for info--hope to see you there!