#ThingsIdontget

ROSEMARY HARRIS: It's a given that not everyone will like everything. "You can't please all of the people....etc." I'm not a contrarian. I don't do a complete 180 on everything that's popular (I liked UGGs, Call Me Maybe...) But there are some things I simply don't get. I am baffled by their continued existence, much less their enormous popularity. Twinkies. Duck Dynasty. Honey Boo Boo.
In no particular order and across a wide variety of subjects from the admittedly minor to the somewhat more important here's a smattering.  I know some will think "She's mad - I love that!" So convince me otherwise! -

Cotton candy. Why does anyone like this stuff? It doesn't taste very good. It's messy. You practically need a shower after pulling bits of it off that paper thing. Powder blue food? I rest my case.

Contest reality shows. I know - I might have had some support for the cotton candy, but I've probably already lost some of you. People embarassing themselves to get on television? Other people judging them, being mean to get laughs? Why would I want to watch that? 

Deep-fried pickles, Oreos, etc. Can you say gilding the lily? Just because something can be done, doesn't mean it should.

Nail art. Anything beyond a french manicure seems over the top to me. Why not buy a bracelet or a ring? And how do those little decals stay on? Are they like Colorforms? Anyone remember those?

Okay, here's another one, people holding their hands over their hearts while Kate Smith sings God Bless America at ball games. Are they pledging allegiance to Irving Berlin? I don't get it.

Of course there are the bigger things I don't get like why does anyone care who sleeps with whom (or marries them) , why politicians can't just zip it and do their jobs in between elections (as opposed to hating and trashing the guy who won), who is buying all those magazines with Kardashians on the covers. Important stuff, like that.

What don't you get, fellow Reds?

LUCY BURDETTE: Ro, I can't defend most of those things, though I did like cotton candy back in the day. I never got the Ugg bug--don't your feet sweat like mad?

Who sleeps with whom? I think that speaks to character flaws or at least some serious issues, don't you? Not throwing stones, just saying when you feel something so intensely that you do what you promised you never would, better stop and take a look at what's really going on. That's advice a very wise therapist once said and it goes for so many situations!

What I really really don't get is people in very public jobs doing dumb things and thinking they won't get caught. Anthony Weiner, need I say more? but it makes for great fiction!

HALLIE EPHRON: I agree, Lucy - those randy pols, feh. And yet so many of them do it... and then do it again. In a novel, they'd be too dumb to live.

Got to say, love my UGGs. 

What don't I get? Of course my mind goes to food:  
Minute rice.
Frozen pizza.
Artisanal salt.
Shake n Bake.
Bottled water.
Turkey bacon.

RHYS BOWEN: Following the food motif--supersizing. How can anyone eat all that stuff?  How can it be sold to kids?
Current trends in singing. Why is shouting at the top of one's voice suddenly a cause for applause when gentle, tuneful singing is not?
Why are we dumbing down everything, playing to the lowest common denominator? As in ripped jeans, gang style clothing, rap music, getting ketchup all over the face when eating a hamburger etc etc.
And going back to those politicians, preachers, celebrities who can behave like animals and then get up in front of a mike and say "I have sinned" and expect everyone to forgive and forget.
And the Bachelor and Bachelorette? Choosing a life partner in a few TV shows during which you smooch with a whole lot of women? Oh yes, that's a basis for stability.

ROSEMARY: Yes...singing at the top of one's lungs. I think Whitney Houston started it - of course she had a real voice, she wasn't just loud. What a waste there. Now every kid thinks having a "big" voice means singing loud.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: What don't I get? Twerking. I know I'm not supposed to get it, because I'm a middle-aged white woman, but still. Also not in my demographic: truck nutz. Debs, do you see these in Texas? Why would you put these on your pickup?  What does a man think it says about him? Other than "The only woman in my life is my mother, and I'm okay with that."

Oh, and here's another thing I don't get: why is it so hard to find a cocktail dress with sleeves or chic shoes with less than a four inch heel? All of my dressy occasions happen in late fall/winter. Usually in Maine. I don't want to accessorize with goosebumps! I had high hopes when Kate Middleton wore a sleeved bridal dress, but it hasn't trended down to Macy's yet. As for the high heels, we've discussed our various discontents with shoes here before. 50-year-old feet + 4 inch heels = bunion surgery waiting to happen. Whenever I look at pictures of women in the fifties wearing those adorable kitten heels, I wonder why we don't have racks of them in the stores right now. Attention shoe manufacturers: at least half your customers are over the age of forty. Give us something fashionable we can wear.

HANK PHILLIPPI. RYAN : What I don't get? Ruching.  Asymmetrical necklines. Both of them look like mistakes.  Kale. Yes, I'm sorry, shun me, but I think kale is disgusting. And pizza with pineapple and ham. That is not pizza.

I have never seen Duck Dynasty or Pawn Stars. So, whatever.  I do not think Tom Brady is handsome but who cares, he is a terrific player.

Pumpkin flavored coffee. Yuck. I have never eaten sausage, knowingly, nor a soft boiled egg.  Uggs? Yeah, I love them and no, one's feet do not get sweaty.

And when did it become acceptable to show cleavage on tv news? I still can't even bring myself to wear a sleeveless dress in the air, let alone a frontless one.

ROSEMARY: I agree with everything my blog sisters have said...except the Tom Brady thing...oh my..he's enough to make this New Yorker a Patriots fan...

So what don't YOU get?