Monday, September 30, 2013

#ThingsIdontget


ROSEMARY HARRIS: It's a given that not everyone will like everything. "You can't please all of the people....etc." I'm not a contrarian. I don't do a complete 180 on everything that's popular (I liked UGGs, Call Me Maybe...) But there are some things I simply don't get. I am baffled by their continued existence, much less their enormous popularity. Twinkies. Duck Dynasty. Honey Boo Boo.
In no particular order and across a wide variety of subjects from the admittedly minor to the somewhat more important here's a smattering.  I know some will think "She's mad - I love that!" So convince me otherwise! -

Cotton candy. Why does anyone like this stuff? It doesn't taste very good. It's messy. You practically need a shower after pulling bits of it off that paper thing. Powder blue food? I rest my case.

Contest reality shows. I know - I might have had some support for the cotton candy, but I've probably already lost some of you. People embarassing themselves to get on television? Other people judging them, being mean to get laughs? Why would I want to watch that? 

Deep-fried pickles, Oreos, etc. Can you say gilding the lily? Just because something can be done, doesn't mean it should.

Nail art. Anything beyond a french manicure seems over the top to me. Why not buy a bracelet or a ring? And how do those little decals stay on? Are they like Colorforms? Anyone remember those?

Okay, here's another one, people holding their hands over their hearts while Kate Smith sings God Bless America at ball games. Are they pledging allegiance to Irving Berlin? I don't get it.

Of course there are the bigger things I don't get like why does anyone care who sleeps with whom (or marries them) , why politicians can't just zip it and do their jobs in between elections (as opposed to hating and trashing the guy who won), who is buying all those magazines with Kardashians on the covers. Important stuff, like that.

What don't you get, fellow Reds?

LUCY BURDETTE: Ro, I can't defend most of those things, though I did like cotton candy back in the day. I never got the Ugg bug--don't your feet sweat like mad?

Who sleeps with whom? I think that speaks to character flaws or at least some serious issues, don't you? Not throwing stones, just saying when you feel something so intensely that you do what you promised you never would, better stop and take a look at what's really going on. That's advice a very wise therapist once said and it goes for so many situations!

What I really really don't get is people in very public jobs doing dumb things and thinking they won't get caught. Anthony Weiner, need I say more? but it makes for great fiction!

HALLIE EPHRON: I agree, Lucy - those randy pols, feh. And yet so many of them do it... and then do it again. In a novel, they'd be too dumb to live.

Got to say, love my UGGs. 

What don't I get? Of course my mind goes to food:  
Minute rice.
Frozen pizza.
Artisanal salt.
Shake n Bake.
Bottled water.
Turkey bacon.

RHYS BOWEN: Following the food motif--supersizing. How can anyone eat all that stuff?  How can it be sold to kids?
Current trends in singing. Why is shouting at the top of one's voice suddenly a cause for applause when gentle, tuneful singing is not?
Why are we dumbing down everything, playing to the lowest common denominator? As in ripped jeans, gang style clothing, rap music, getting ketchup all over the face when eating a hamburger etc etc.
And going back to those politicians, preachers, celebrities who can behave like animals and then get up in front of a mike and say "I have sinned" and expect everyone to forgive and forget.
And the Bachelor and Bachelorette? Choosing a life partner in a few TV shows during which you smooch with a whole lot of women? Oh yes, that's a basis for stability.

ROSEMARY: Yes...singing at the top of one's lungs. I think Whitney Houston started it - of course she had a real voice, she wasn't just loud. What a waste there. Now every kid thinks having a "big" voice means singing loud.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: What don't I get? Twerking. I know I'm not supposed to get it, because I'm a middle-aged white woman, but still. Also not in my demographic: truck nutz. Debs, do you see these in Texas? Why would you put these on your pickup?  What does a man think it says about him? Other than "The only woman in my life is my mother, and I'm okay with that."

Oh, and here's another thing I don't get: why is it so hard to find a cocktail dress with sleeves or chic shoes with less than a four inch heel? All of my dressy occasions happen in late fall/winter. Usually in Maine. I don't want to accessorize with goosebumps! I had high hopes when Kate Middleton wore a sleeved bridal dress, but it hasn't trended down to Macy's yet. As for the high heels, we've discussed our various discontents with shoes here before. 50-year-old feet + 4 inch heels = bunion surgery waiting to happen. Whenever I look at pictures of women in the fifties wearing those adorable kitten heels, I wonder why we don't have racks of them in the stores right now. Attention shoe manufacturers: at least half your customers are over the age of forty. Give us something fashionable we can wear.


HANK PHILLIPPI. RYAN : What I don't get? Ruching.  Asymmetrical necklines. Both of them look like mistakes.  Kale. Yes, I'm sorry, shun me, but I think kale is disgusting. And pizza with pineapple and ham. That is not pizza.

I have never seen Duck Dynasty or Pawn Stars. So, whatever.  I do not think Tom Brady is handsome but who cares, he is a terrific player.

Pumpkin flavored coffee. Yuck. I have never eaten sausage, knowingly, nor a soft boiled egg.  Uggs? Yeah, I love them and no, one's feet do not get sweaty.

And when did it become acceptable to show cleavage on tv news? I still can't even bring myself to wear a sleeveless dress in the air, let alone a frontless one.


ROSEMARY: I agree with everything my blog sisters have said...except the Tom Brady thing...oh my..he's enough to make this New Yorker a Patriots fan...

So what don't YOU get?

26 comments:

  1. Oh, so many things I don’t get. The thought of cotton candy is enough to give me shivers. Just looking at high heels is enough to make my feet hurt. The politicians make me crazy. I so want to just send the whole lot of them home . . . .
    I don’t get:
    Scream-singing and songs to which no one can understand a single word. Whatever happened to real lyrics?
    Guys who can’t figure out where their waists are and never pull their jeans up anywhere close to where they belong.
    Anything reality television . . . I already have enough realty; I watch television to be entertained.
    On the food front, along with cotton candy: mallomars, marshmallows, bread stuffing and brown gravy.

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  2. TFA wearing Rosemary's BITCHES OF BROOKLYN t-shirt. Talk about disgusting...

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  3. Guys wearing their pant so low they can't walk without spreading their legs apart so the trousers don't fall off. You know what they look like? A toddler who didn't make it to the toilet in time and has a load in his pants. Really!

    Yesterday my stylish 28 year old goddaughter had a really really stylish pair of FLATS on. Pointy toes but flat. I hope it's the hip new trend.

    I do like cotton candy. And agree that pineapple on pizza does not belong there.

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  4. I love pink cotton candy on a paper cone. I do not get blue cotton candy in a bag.

    I love Uggs. Your feet don't sweat, because the fluffy woolly lining will not allow it, especially if you don't wear socks as directed.

    I don't get how you can take a wrong turn in Boston and end up in Nashua, NH before you realize you've already crossed the Charles.

    I don't get Masters & Johnson as a TV series? Nope. Sorry. I don't get it.

    I don't get alfalfa sprouts. I got a chicken salad sandwich the other day, and it tasted like grass. And the things wrapped themselves around my teeth, got stuck on my tongue, and they wouldn't let go.

    I don't get age-based communities.

    Julia, I don't get truck nuts either. Giant silver truck nuts hanging off the behinds of pickup trucks are not pretty. I don't get it.

    Hank, I don't get kale either. I don't care what you fry it in or sprinkle on it. I don't care how fresh it is. I don't get it. I don't know why people like eating ornamental plants. I will not. Good-bye kale go away.

    I get Tom Brady.

    I don't get duck boats or duck boots, although I adore my wellies.

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  5. I don't get why men wear their hats into restaurants. And I don't get "heirloom" eggs!

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  6. I have kale in my refrigerator. It's going in soup. My fingernails are dark blue with lighter aqua glitter at the tips, and last week they were matte black with white writing. I watch Project Runway and So You Think You Can Dance. Other than kale, nail art and a very few competition reality shows (the rest are awful), I agree with pretty much everything else.

    What else don't I get? Excessive hashtags. Actually, I don't use hashtags at all but I understand the purpose. When I see something on Pinterest with sixteen hashtags after it, I just shake my head. The baggy pants thing, is ridiculous, of course. People who claim that their fashion choices are intended to "express their individuality" while standing next to 25 people who look exactly like them. Someone mentioned the Kardashians - why are they famous, anyway? And related to that - Kanye West chose to have his entire lower front teeth removed and replaced with a grill of diamonds. Why? The man doesn't even smile. Justin Bieber. I remember going crazy over Shaun Cassidy, but at least he displayed some intelligence. I don't get why people can't stop bashing the opposite political party and start trying to figure out how to work together. That goes for politicians AND the public. Honestly, I don't get Twitter. I also don't get why people on Facebook think everyone else cares what they had for breakfast, or that their child had a bowel movement.

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  7. Sports. Seriously. It's a ball that has to go into a zone, a hoop, a hole, over a wall. Big fricking deal. I totally don't get it. And it's not like the people on the teams are actually from the city, so you can't even say it's a home pride thing.

    I like swimming and diving though, because they are pretty to watch and everybody stays clean.

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  8. Clean is important, Ramona. nodding

    Julia, I'm going to a "black tie" wedding (at 4:30 in the afternoon, we are meant to wear long gowns and tuxes?) this Saturday. I have looked high, lo and online for something to clothe my 62-year old bod for the event. Finally found a lovely cocktail dress with cap sleeves, a collarbone-high front neckline and a small vee back neckline. And I'll be wearing a long silk jacket I've had for years over it for the wedding itself. But what a process! This 25-year old bride clearly never had to worry about any of this, plus the expense of just attending a blasted wedding. I'm glad I checked "beef" for dinner.

    And while we're on the subject of dressing up, I don't get how women are expected to tart up and wear heels, while their male companion is wearing nothing dressier than a t-shirt. What? Put a little effort in, dude.

    Have you ever seen the cartoon character Sponge Bob Squarepants? Every time I see some young goofball hobbling around in low-crotch pants, especially short ones with gigantic wide legs, I think of old Sponge Bob. I suspect he was created to spoof those silly boys.

    It's not just the screaming in songs; I agree with Joan about real lyrics. Just screaming the same 11 words over and over again does not equal singing OR lyrics. Makes you yearn for Cole Porter and the Gershwins. I don't get how record companies can justify the expense of bothering with any of it.



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  9. sigh.

    I have tried to write a comment twice, but gave up.

    Not because of the robot thingie, but because there are so many things I don't get.

    I typed and typed and typed and realized I sounded SO negative and so cynical I gave up.

    So I'm going to try once more and I'm gonna keep it simple (HA!).

    I don't get reality TV. At all. What happened to shows like Barney Miller. Evening Shade. Designing Women?

    I don't get mean. WHAT'S THE POINT??!

    I don't get slimy paid for politicians.

    I don't get slovenly.

    I don't get settling for less.

    I don't get that I apparently woke up on a soapbox this morning!

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  10. When I was a kid, I loved cotton candy -- and they used to make it right there, whipping the paper cone around in the spun sugar. Now cotton candy hangs from the tents in plastic bags!

    I cannot get this image out of my head -- vaguely related to topic (men and their stupid pants). I am switching EZ passes so had to go through the cash exit on the Mass Pike yesterday.

    The young African American male toll collector was multi-tasking: taking my toll, eating French fries, and doing "something" with his hand in the back of his low-slung pants? ????????

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  11. Sorry to have missed out on the comments--I was otherwise engaged this weekend! And I'm sure next week when I tell you all about it, someone will say they don't GET weddings where the bride wears cowboy boots with her wedding dress. But, oh, it was so cute. And the best thing? No one else had to wear miserable shoes!

    I get UGGS but don't wear them because I have really narrow feet and it's like my feet are floating around in a boat... I thought cotton candy was disgusting even as a child. But Fletcher's Corn Dogs at the Texas State Fair? Heaven. But only once a year.

    I have to admit I like some reality cooking shows. And I love The Voice. Sometimes they go a little overboard on the contestants sob stories (does everyone have to have lost a parent/grandparent/brother/sister, had cancer/recovered from some dread disease? But really, 99% of the singers really are talented. And nobody's mean. (Not to mention that I love Adam Levine...)

    Not starting on politicians... It would ruin my day.

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  12. I don't get parents who let their kids eat junk food and drink soda every day.

    Or people who don't pick up their dog's poop.

    I don't get people who throw things away (including their pets) at the first sign of wear or inconvenience. And who must have the latest newfangled contraption even through what they already own is perfectly good.

    I'm doing the social media thing, but I can't say I really get it. :-) Why do we have to be in everyone's business to get ahead?

    I don't get self-indulgent middle-aged-white-man-midlife-crisis novels that become literary sensations (ranted about this yesterday on Facebook)

    I don't get -- really don't get -- the flesh-eating drug called krokodil and people who are OK with dying for their addiction

    I don't get snobbery and bullying.

    Wow, I didn't think I had anything to write...until I started writing!

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  14. For some reason, my comment was posted as something I earlier cut and pasted. I will try again.

    I agree with many of the "don't gets" mentioned, especially cotton candy. However, there is one item I thought of that no one has yet listed. I don't get doll collectors who devote an entire room to their doll collections. Don't these people realize that they are wasting perfectly good shelf space that could hold books? LOL!

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  15. People who talk on their cell phones in public places and glare at you for listening. Like I have a choice? People who talk on their cell phones in public places and share indiscriminately as if the rest of us don't exist. Aagh.
    Parents who let their children run amok in restaurants, museums, churches, etc. I do not understand the lack of courtesy and good manners. Our government is a shining example. People could oppose one another without namecalling and still work together. Not now. But let's not get into politics. I didn't get the Newly Wed Game years ago; why would you want to look stupid on TV? And now everyone wants to look stupid on TV. Although my secret guilty pleasure a few years ago was Outback Jack; and he wound up with the right girl! Amazing.

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  16. Jack/Austin...don't believe it for a minute..I'm sure you're that BOB shirt!

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  17. I don't get neck ties. Granted, there are a lot fewer these days, but those guys made ALL the rules back then... how could they get sucked into neck ties for all those years? And still do it for "dress up"?

    I don't get facial piercings. Ah, heck, really I don't get piercings except ears. One in each.

    I DON'T get tatoos. At all.

    I don't get football. Like it's a surprise that running into somebody else head first is going to hurt your head permanently? And now, having at last really acknowledged that there is serious damage being done, you keep doing it?

    I don't get truck nutz, but I never got the silver nudie outlines of women on mudflaps, either. So, you LIKE women but you intend to OFFEND them all with your truck... GREAT strategy!

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  18. Oh, yes, the men who wear hats indoors! Why?? I've even seen some wearing hats in their own homes. It looks to me like they're planning to leave any second.

    Debs, my nephew's bride grew up mostly in Texas and wore cowboy boots with her wedding dress (which was not a traditional wedding dress), and looked lovely! The reception was an outdoor barbecue. It was probably the best wedding I ever attended, very "down home" and casual, and all about families. Which is probably what a wedding reception is supposed to be. (I changed from sandals to sneakers halfway through the day and nobody noticed.)

    I have overheard some highly personal cell phone conversations and wondered why the person standing out there in the parking lot or in the grocery store or at the gas pump didn't seem to have any qualms about sharing such personal information where anyone could hear it. (I don't care that you just bought some condoms and wine and hope your girlfriend will let you come over for dinner.)

    I don't get why more and more young girls are "hanging out" of their blouses! And I don't get those backless blouses at all! So you don't mind that you're letting us see the entire back of your bra? The last such blouse I saw looked as though the back of it had been shredded, and the wearer just couldn't bear to part with it.

    And why do so many people believe the rules/regulations (for doing ANYTHING, it doesn't matter what) do not apply to them? ("Oh, I'm supposed to submit this application on or before a particular date and I had six months to do it? Gee, I think I'll wait until a month after it's due, and then argue that I don't understand why it cannot be accepted!")

    I agree that it's difficult to buy dresses these days. At this point I have no winter dresses, because I refuse to go sleeveless in the winter.



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  19. BlueTooth! The hands-free phone thingies. Has anyone else answered someone who is NOT holding a phone when they "hello" out of the blue? Freeks me out. Especially in the restroom! What is so almighty important that one must talk on the phone in the loo???

    Public cell phone conversations in general drive me bonkers.

    And YES one of my biggest pet peeves is with Major League Baseball and "God Bless America." It's not the national anthem; the players shouldn't stand with their hats over their hearts; it shouldn't be part of baseball! The seventh inning stretch is for "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." Thank you!

    And while I'm thinking of baseball, Interleague games and the Designated Hitter should be outlawed.

    You mentioned Duck Dynasty. I'll go further and say anything on History Channel that isn't HISTORY! And cable tv that requires someone to buy an entire package even if we only watch one channel in that package.

    Ok, that's enough! LOL I'm turning into a curmudgeon.

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  20. I don't get the senior citizen commercials that say we need sit down showers, Life alert systems, hearing aids Viagra, ciiallis , teeth gripping glue, retirement communities where all of a sudden you have to take cooking lessons and host dinner parties,I want to knit without the fuddy duddy looks and I want to be included when the reality shows encourage older voices on The Voice.

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  21. Just reading all these things make me despair of the human race. There are too many many many things I don't get.

    Keep calm, Susan. Quit carrying on.

    However, cotton candy... of course you don't get it. You have to be under 10 to get it.

    Frozen pizza. Very handy. Of course, I thaw it and cook it first.

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  22. Having looked at the haute couture design collections for this season, I have to say I also don't get any of it. First: why do those clothes cost tens of thousands of dollars, when most of them look like the fevered dreams of 10-year olds? And second: why does every. single. collection this year include sheer clothing? Nipples may (or may not) be fetching on a 20-year old flat-chested model, but most of us would prefer to keep those babies under wraps, thank you very much. And exposing the thighs? Get real.

    I don't get the urge to wear extravagantly expensive clothing once and discard it. What a waste.

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  23. Yeah!
    ...and I ALSO don't get not signaling when you change lanes. Why not? Am I clair-freaking-voyant?

    I'm with Marianne - what's all that junk on the History Channel? Not history! And what about the designated hitter...

    This felt good...I think we should have a rant day once a month!

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  24. REALITY TV Shows - all of them, I could care less what these people are doing, most of which is absolutely crazy; Honey Boo Boo, Really????

    rude store employees - I'm paying YOUR salary - be nice, smile and say thank you

    Rap music

    Music where you cannot understand the words - please lets go back to the 60's and 70s's music

    boys/men walking around with their pants hanging off their butts, they have to lift them up to walk up stairs

    Kardashians - why do we want to keep up with them ?????????

    parents who let their kids run wild in stores and restaurants, I don't need kids running into my grocery cart and If I go out to eat, I certainly do Not want little kids running and yelling while I'm trying to have a peaceful diner

    body piercing and tatoo's creep me out I know, personal preference, but they still creep me out - Tatoo's must hurt like hell, why or why would one want to lay there and be tortured willingly

    people who don't use blinker lights - hellooooooo they are on your car for a reason

    People in check out lines who wait to get checkbook out of purse/pocket until last item is bagged, you know you are paying by check - get it out and fill everything in except amount then when you have total - fill that in...ugh

    people who think the world owes them everything for nothing

    sports - they pay players a ridiculous amount of money to chase a ball, hit a ball, throw a ball or drive around a track - really, why are they worth millions ????

    Violence on TV - don't we have enough of it every day - why does it need to be on TV ??

    people who let their dogs and cats run wild and use my yard as a bathroom- Leash Laws - guess they never heard of them....the same could be said for some children

    Junk mail - hundreds of credit card offers a year - if I want a credit card I will get one on my own thank you, such a waste of paper

    plastic grocery bags, styrafoam cups - they lay in landfills for years - paper will compost or use your own canvas bags

    companies who bail out of USA and go to foreign countries so they can have inferior products made then bring them back to USA and sell them for outrageous prices

    Tax loop holes for companies and the rich - why do they deserve them?

    puppy mills and pet stores - greedy people who could care less about those sweet furbabies

    stores rushing holidays - Halloween stuff has been in stores since August, November 1st Xmas will be in stores - what happened to Thanksgiving

    off my soapbox

    Have a great day everyone !!!

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