The "R" word: REJECTION

JENN McKINLAY: While decluttering my desk awhile back, I found my file of rejection letters. What does it take to be published? For me, I'd say a pound of flesh, a gallon of tears, and an inch of rejections. I have a hide like a rhinoceros, but even I struggled to shake off the "no thank you's" for a solid seven years before I got published.

How did I shake it off? Well, after I shed a tear or two and dramatically cried, "I will never write  again!", I'd get really mad. And I do mean mad like crazy not like angry. Despite my jokester nature, I have a contrary personality and the quickest way to get me to do something is to tell me that I can't. So, usually within 48 hours of being emotionally shanked via letter or email, I was back in the saddle, writing the next idea absolutely positive that this was going to be THE ONE. And eventually, it was. 

And just so you can see how subjective this business is: Here are two responses from editors for the exact same query: One thought the hook was too small and the other thought it was great for a series. (Picture me throwing up my hands here).


How about you, REDS? How did you handle rejection and if you were never rejected, well, you're dismissed. Seriously, go away now.

HALLIE EPHRON: I have a ton of rejection letters. I read from then when I give a keynote at a writing conference, even though they still sting.

 I was giving a talk the other day and a woman in the audience asked me what she should do, her daughter was an aspiring writer who'd been rejected and now was vowing to give up writing. My response was: EVERYONE gets rejected, and if you can't take it, you shouldn't be a writer. Seriously. There's a steep learning curve, and then there are the vagaries of the market, and the intricacies of what's going on at each particular publisher. And it doesn't end with getting to YES. After you get published there's dealing with snippy reviews and nasty online reviewers and disappointing sales and... Nope, not for wimps. 




RHYS BOWEN: The first book I sent to a publisher was accepted. You'd think that would be the end of the story, right? But after that book was published it took me five years to sell another. This was all very long ago but I can still remember the hurt, anger, annoyance when I saw that envelope returned to me. I never once thought of giving up writing, however. I just thought, "I'll show them! They'll be sorry." And I have. And they are. The important thing to tell yourself is that a rejection is just one person's opinion. Some people think it's okay to streak their hair pink. Therefore not all opinions are equally valid. I also tell myself this when someone gives me a snippy review. 




LUCY BURDETTE: I think you're getting the theme here--we all face rejection in this business, but what separates success from failure is a stubborn writer. I would also add for me, rejection meant trying to go back to the drawing board to figure out what the weak spots of my book/proposal were. And then do my best to fix them. Like Hallie, I've kept copies of those early rejections and have enjoyed using them in talks. On a bad day, a rejection might have looked like this:  a form letter photocopied crookedly on the sheet--the only personalized note being a coffee ring. On a good day, I might have received a letter like this: “regrettably, Final Round is not the project for us. We would like to encourage you to continue seeking representation. Another agent is bound to recognize your talent and may be able to offer you and your work the time and attention it so readily deserves.” (This was a real letter!)

The funny thing is, rejection comes every step of the way, even after getting an agent and getting published. Right now I'm working on a book that's been rejected thoroughly, first by my agent, and then after I fixed it and she got excited about it in proposal form, by several editors. Did I have the sense to quit? No. I hired an independent editor and I'm working on revisions. Yes, stubborn. 

JENN: Lucy, I think you nailed it. Tenacity is probably the most common trait amongst writers. 




DEBORAH CROMBIE:  By a weird set of circumstances, I sold my first novel without ever having had a rejection letter. I did, however, have a very good writing teacher when I was working on that first book. The first pages I turned in to him came back with big red UGHS scrawled all over my beautiful prose!!!! My feelings were crushed. I cried for a day, and then I got mad and determined that nobody was going to do that to my pages again. I worked really hard, and the red ink marks got fewer and fewer, until at the end of the course my teacher told me he thought what I had written was publishable. I don't think I've ever been more proud.

Not that I haven't dealt with a lot of editorial criticism in the years since, but I just figure it makes me a better writer. 




HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  Oh, I saved every single rejection. And I always read them at seminars--it's such a concrete proof that a rejection is only a moment in time. My rejections all came via snail mail, in a stamped self-addressed envelope, and I'd see that horrible thing peeking out of my mailbox when I got home. Once I wailed to Jonathan: "Charlie McNally is going to DIE! No one will ever meet her!" But eventually people started saying yes. So HA.

My favorite one says: "This is such a terrific book, I couldn't turn the pages fast enough. And you really nail the newsroom setting. Sadly, we just published a reporter book, and there's no room on our list for another."  Probably a big fat lie, but it made me feel better. I love seeing the people who once rejected me. They're always so  enthusiastic. And I never say a word.  It's just completely personal, and unpredictable, and there are so many factors that go into it. It feels like the most personal thing in the world, but it isn't.

Lucy, lemme at that book.




INGRID THOFT: I was rejected a lot by agents, but there was enough encouragement in the rejections that I decided to keep going.  My favorite rejection tale is that the agent who was representing me when I wrote LOYALTY told me, “I can’t sell this.”  I shopped around for a new agent, and she sold it to the first editor she submitted it to.  It really is subjective, and I always remind writers that when they walk into the bookstore, there are probably whole sections they avoid because those topics just don’t interest them.  So it is with agents and editors; some things just don’t interest them.

In terms of feedback, I recommend that after taking some deep cleansing breaths, you review the critique and ask yourself a question:  Do the suggestions put forth make the book better or different?  Better is what you want, but different?  That will just turn it into someone else’s book.

JENN: Better or different? Ingrid, that is a brilliant way to determine whether the critique is valid or not. I love it.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: You're going to hate me. I submitted the first manuscript I ever finished to the St. Martin's Malice Domestic Best First Traditional Mystery Contest, won, and have been published by St. Martin's ever since. I had one book published, another under contract and a two-book offer in hand when I went looking for representation - I wound up rejecting agents. Then, when my first agent "retired" (long story) I interviewed several other agents and went with the wonderful fabulous (TM) Meg Ruley (who also reps Rhys!) When I'm giving talks to unpublished writers, I try to elide most of this story.

On the other hand, I was rejected by Yale when I applied for their drama program. So there is that.

How about you, Readers? How do you handle rejection?