I have a good friend who has just moved into an upscale retirement community. She has a large apartment, gourmet meals, plenty to do, from lectures to yoga to concerts to trips to places of interest. I have to admit it does have its appeal. So I'm thinking... someday. If I were on my own, I might well do that.
And I have recently become fascinated with that show on tiny houses. I've tried designing a few tiny houses in my head but I'm always put off by having to climb a ladder to get to my bed. No way I'm going to do that in the middle of the night!
But then I look around my six bedroom house, each room filled with--well, stuff. And I ask myself what I would want to keep if I had to move to a small space. And the answer is "Not very much." Photos of the family, definitely. A Queen Anne writing desk.
I have become less attached to things as I get older. I could easily give away all my furniture. Many of my clothes. Most of my books (except for my Agatha Christie collection and one each of all of my books). I'd probably have a hard time parting with my Agatha teapots, my other awards.
We were at our condo in Arizona this weekend for my grandson Sam's graduation. One of the reasons I love the condo is that it is only stocked with what we really need. Furnished from scratch. Nothing superfluous! While I was there I sat looking around me, thinking "I could let all of this go, apart from my adorable ceramic man from Mexico and a couple of Native American pots. But then would the Native American stuff even look right outside Arizona?
So I've vowed to start eliminating as soon as we return from vacation in Europe. I've already weeded out boxes and boxes of books but now the time has come for pictures and ornaments. My collection of paperweights that has not been taken out of a box for years. Ditto my Indian elephants. I will keep weeding out until I will become an Eastern sage, living with the minimum around me and meditating..... well... not quite.
So how about you? What would you hang onto if you had to downsize?
Downsizing is not something I would find particularly easy to accomplish . . . while I’d not have much trouble parting with furniture or clothing, or even dishes, I’d find it difficult to get rid of the books, the Precious Moments, and all the pictures. I’m good at saving, especially things from the children and grandchildren, and not nearly as good at tossing stuff away . . . .
ReplyDeleteBack in 2010 I moved to a house I planned to rent until I could clean out and sell the house I owned. By definition, I was only camping in the rent house, so I took only the essentials. It took me three years to completely clean out the house I wanted to sell, and even then much of the stuff went into a storage unit, but all the while I understood that it was stuff I could easily do without. A lot of it belonged to my late husband, and some of it will go to his literary archive at the University of North Texas, so I can't just scoop it all up and throw it all away. I have to sort through it box by box, which takes a lot of energy and courage. When the folks at the storage unit asked me why, after being such a good customer for so many years, I had moved out, I told them they had been storing my emotional baggage, and I finally had the room and the heart to deal with it. I think that's what pretty much all of the stuff we hang onto really is: evidence of the love and memories of times past that we still cherish.
ReplyDeleteThat said, Rhys, I had to wipe off a little drool at the thought of your paperweight collection. I have a small collection of art glass paperweights myself.
Well, I love that GG… storing your emotional baggage. So true! And it definitely takes time and energy and courage. Are you still in the rental house?
DeleteWhat a lovely image, Gigi. When I moved a couple of years ago after a divorce, the decision of what to take and what to leave behind was tough, but in the end freed me up to make a fresh start, just as you describe. I adore my new apartment, which includes pieces from my old life that still make me smile, as well as touches that are completely new.
DeleteNo, Lucy/Roberta, I bought a place of my own about three years ago. I was able to empty the storage unit because my new house has room for all my junk, including the emotional baggage. I think Fiona is right. We should only keep the stuff that makes us smile, leaving lots of room for the new.
DeleteGoing to hold you to that, lol, Gigi!
DeleteYesterday I glimpsed a picture of my desk when my office was new (in this house) four years ago. Nothing but a laptop on it! Now it's a disaster. As soon as I hit Send later this morning (on my fifteenth novel!), I plant to sweep everything off it, throw crap out, and do a reorg. If/when I start really divesting, I would keep photos of my boys when they were young. A lovely analog clock. Yes, one each of my own books. The good dishes, or maybe I'd just start eating off them for everyday. My sister, the Buddhist, hangs onto almost nothing. I love visiting her clean, uncluttered, airy apartment, but I come home wondering why I hang onto so much.
ReplyDeleteEdith, that's one thing I do at the end of every book--sweep the piles off my desk and render it pristine. I couldn't start a new book if I didn't do that
DeleteIt's done! Now for the rest of my office...
DeleteI would keep photographs of my young men when they were youthful. A beautiful simple clock. Yes, one each of my own books. The great dishes, or possibly I'd simply begin eating off them for everyday. Samish leather
ReplyDeleteI play that game, too: what would I keep if?
ReplyDeleteMy husband is my major impediment to truly downsizing. He's attached to his things. And I'm attached to him... But I have been slowly getting rid of my stuff. Two platters and a basket and several vases are waiting in my closet right now to be chucked. But it's just a drip drip drip compared to what will eventually have to be dealt with.
An aside, I don't have "good dishes" -- just one set of "good enough" that I've had for 40+ years and I'm taking them with me.
Like me with the saffron? I too have one set of dishes I've been using since the 80s. Several sets of several people's dishes are packed away in the basement and will stay there until the posthumous estate sale.
DeleteI have cool dishes, which I love every time I use them, but also a couple of old sets I never use any more. They probably should go. So far my sister is the one most burdened by all the inherited stuff. I salute her, but don't envy her the task of digging out from under at all.
DeleteI don't have china either! I have 2 sets of stoneware. One I picked out when we married back in '72, the other a set produced from an English mold in the mid-70's. My husband thought about getting one of his mother's many sets of china last year but I vetoed it.
DeleteTwo archival boxes of mementos from the boys' younger days. The photos. The six blue willow plates that are a legacy from my maternal grandmother's family--about all that was left when their home burned when my mom was a teen. Artwork. A table my uncle made from a design I drew for him. My books (pared down long ago), a lamp to read by--and at least one of the pianos, so there will always be music.
ReplyDeleteWait. "At least one of the pianos"????? How many pianos do you have? Upright? Baby grand? Nine-foot Steinway concert models?
DeleteTwo uprights, one baby grand and a keyboard--the boys are into music! ;-)
Deletebut where is everyone going?? are we setting up a Jungle Red retirement center? we'd have plenty of dishes and books, and music, it seems...
ReplyDeleteI'm bringing my French oven.
DeleteA Jungle Red retirement center? Now that's an idea. While out hiking once mu friends and I saw a properly with about five little cottages on it. We decided we had to buy it for when we were widowed and old. We could have privacy but be within shouting distance of each other.
DeleteAnd if the central feature of our little compound was the library..... Who is joining u?
Me, me! Want me to bring my antique croquet set? And I have lots of dishes and glasses!
DeleteBeware of baggage, Deb. I think Rhys and Lucy Roberta are talking tiny house here.
DeleteOh, Debs, I wish I'd kept track of my parents' croquet set and had it now.
DeleteThis recurring theme keeps smacking me upside my head. I need to start tossing stuff. I used to say I needed a bigger house. Now I know I simply need less STUFF.
ReplyDeleteI've gotten so much better at letting go of things as I have gotten older. In my mid-40s now, so I'm hoping that in another decade, I'll figure out a way to downsize some other things - books, clothes, collectibles.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, I've finally figured out a way to comment again - since we lost the NAME/URL option. So, to say I have happy to be back is an understatement. That said, can we downsize all the web identities and passwords - PLEASE.
ReplyDeleteOh Kristopher! How I long for the days before passwords! Sometimes for the days before computers too!
DeleteAs I said earlier, I am taking only the saffron. And the fire opal. Everything else is dusty. Bring on the downsizing.
ReplyDeleteAnnie in Rochester who has way too much STUFF
I think of this every day… We have so much stuff, but would I even miss it if it was gone? I have already called a person to just empty the basement. I'm almost ready to say: just get rid of it, I'm not even going to look.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have also been on the other end of that… When I moved into Jonathan's house, where he had already lived for 10 years, I looked around in the basement and found a box of china. I said to him, whose china is this? It's gorgeous Haviland! A full set! ! And he told me it must have been left over from the person who lived in the house before that.
ReplyDeleteOh Kristopher - downsizing web identities and passwords...YES!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm not sure there's much I'd take. Photographs. The antique desk in our dining room. Some clothes, but certainly not all. Some ceramics my grandfather painted (like my nativity set) and the set of teacups I inherited from my grandmother, as well as a couple hand-painted china items from my dresser.
I realize this might sound...blasphemous...but there are a lot of books in the house I could let go, too. My set of Harry Potter, Jane Austen, Narnia, Jane Ryland, Zoe Chambers, and a few by other friends. The rest can go to a church book sale or donated somewhere.
Mary/Liz
Now replying to myself because I forgot to check the "notify me" box. LOL
DeleteGiven that I'm almost positive that I'm going to have to sell the house and downsize to something smaller and more (hopefully) affordable, I am in the slow process of weeding out stuff from my own pile of STUFF and my mother's STUFF as well.
ReplyDeleteCan't do a tiny house, because of my book library but I've come to the realization that I'm going to have to get rid of stuff I'm never going to read or watch again. I've already started weeding out my comic book collection and I guess the DVDS will be next.
As George Carlin, said we all need a place for our stuff.
But nowadays, we have to be really picky about what does indeed become our stuff.
What I'd like to do is sell off as much as I could on eBay and then donate the rest to wherever I could.
DeleteDoes anyone know if the Kennedy Library wants a big collection of Kennedy related books that my mother had?
The Kennedy library probably has them all already, but there is some budding Kennedy scholar out there who would love to get his or her hands on them. Sell them to a used book store or list them online. Let the knowledge they contain loose into the world again to inspire someone else.
DeleteOddly, one of those Facebook "memories" today reminded me that a year ago I had a junk removal company come to haul things away.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a diehard packrat, one of those people who can't bear to let anything go, because we might, someday, need that moldy old whatever. The junk guys, while Steve was out of town, took away, among other things, the cabinets from the old kitchen (1998), old windows (1990), tons of scrap lumber that never got used, a rickety old ladder I'd tried once to pitch out, and a trio of enormous metal whatchamajigs that Steve rescued from a film editing company that was closing, 25 years ago. They had been in the attic for all those years, and he had forgotten they were even there.
They filled 3/4 of a truck (I also had them take a bunch of stuff lying around the yard, too), and honestly, could have filled the entire thing if I'd planned ahead.
The funny thing is that Steve never noticed anything being gone, just that I had reorganized the garage. With all the tools hanging up, instead of leaning against things, it does look way better. And there's more room for our cars.
We need to clear out the studio where his dad, and now he, worked for the last almost fifty years. I dread the thought. There is a five-room bungalow filled to the brim, with a chockful basement and attic, plus three cars' worth of garages. Not to mention a mountain of odd pieces of lumber and wood strewn around, needed, you know, for nature sets. We need a landfill, just for us. Sigh.
Oh Karen! All of my brothers seem to have gotten a pack rat gene from somewhere--none of my sisters or me, though!
DeleteKaren, John is a pack rat too. All his brochures and travel guides from his time as manager of Air India, info on Vietnam, all his diaries, a cupboard full of clean glass jars in case.... In case God knows what! And shoes. Paris of shoes that hurt him, he won't wear, but his feet might miraculously change size one day so that he can wear them!
DeleteLOL! John's feet might be as magical as my body!
DeleteI love the way autocorrect gave me Paris of shoes. Who wouldn't want their shoes from Paris!
DeleteHe never noticed! Yes, I can completely believe that. I have no idea what's in our basement, so I wouldn't know if it wasn't there anymore.
DeleteMy parents downsized twice and when we cleaned out the last apartment, there was still a ton of stuff. And my mother-in-law at 94 is pretty much hanging on to every single thing she has. she has a lot! I am determined not to do that to my children, so I plan to gradually clean out the closets. Some day. :-) (We did finally get rid of the encyclopedia. Still working on husband about those SF paperbacks from is youth!)
ReplyDeleteTriss, I did the same thing, except with my parents it was twice with both of them and twice with my mom after my dad died. I have sworn not to do that to my daughter but so far am not making much progress.
DeleteI always find it interesting that I'm so attached to my things, but when I stay in an hotel or a rented flat, I don't miss them at all... We will have to downsize eventually, I guess. I could happily get rid of loads of books. And dishes, except for the "good stuff," which is Aynsley. My mom and I bought it in London for both of us, so I now have 16 place settings. But how would I ever choose which of my London Transport posters to keep and which to sell????
ReplyDeleteI love London Transport posters, Debs! Definitely don't get rid of those. I'm good at getting rid of stuff, but that said, I look around and still think we have too many things! I would keep photos -- of family and travels -- and I would keep the things we picked up on those travels. The ceramic pomegranate from Granada, the cloisonné from China, the painted plates from Turkey and so on, all remind me of the places we've been and the adventures we've had.
ReplyDeleteI still have my favorite childhood stuffed animal, an elephant I named Snuffleupagus. He's no longer pink and barely resembles an elephant, but I think he'd have to come, too.
Does the Children's Television Workshop / Sesame Workshop know you co-opted one their character's names? :D
DeleteOh, that reminds me. My Henry dog (missing both eyes and a nose) would have to come with me, too. Stupid, yes. But I remember swapping out the little girl who bought him at a garage sale another stuffed animal. My mother was so mad!
DeleteMary/Liz
I think Sesame Street would be proud! On the show, his official name is Mr. Snuffleupagus, so I think I can get away with it.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't use it or don't love it, get rid of it. Think exes.
ReplyDelete(All my exes live in Texas)
I am downsizing right now since I am moving to Boise ID end of June. Most of my furniture will be donated, along with way too many decorative items. I already got rid of two boxes of shoes. It looks like my art collection, my photographs, the dishes from the Zanesville pottery where my grandfather worked, and my internet of things are all that I want to take.
ReplyDeleteAnd you don't miss the shoes at all, right? Tell me you don't…
DeleteDefinitely keep the Zanesville! How cool that your grandfather worked there.
DeletePack rat here. I don't use a lot of the stuff but someday, you know, maybe I'll need something. And if I can remember which closet it's in, I'll get it out!
ReplyDeleteWhen my mom died and we cleaned out her house, we divided some things among us. I took a lot of things I don't want because I thought someday the grandchildren might want them. They're all grown now, and they DON'T. Now I'm stuck with a basement full of things none of us want. Wat back when, I jokingly told my siblings that because I'm the oldest, they'd better hope I don't die first, because they will be seeing it all again. Sadly, the youngest of them died recently. Guess who has the task of going through her things?
Deb Romano
That's not fun Deb. My youngest sister died just 10 years ago. We siblings had to clean out her house and get it ready for sale. My parents were still around but that was just too much for them.
DeleteI had a tiny house built in 2008 intending to live there forever...then in 2010 I had to move in with Mom & Dad so I vacated the tiny house...I'm already planning in my head what I'm going to have to get rid of since we furnished their home with all of my stuff, some of their stuff, and bought more stuff in the past 9 years! Moving back to the tiny house is something I am really looking forward to and living the simple life. My most precious items will all fit in the cedar chest. Photos are stored on-line, and in 1 book case full of old photo albums.
ReplyDeleteDecluttering is about my favorite thing in the world! I have "hefty bag" days where I plow through the house for goodwill, garbage, and storage. I loathe clutter which is complicated as I live with three hoarders. Argh.
ReplyDeleteI have a "hefty bag" sitting in my bedroom right now. Trying to declutter my closet.
DeleteNancy martin has this project where she had to get rid of something like 10 things a day. And it can't be like 10 magazines, you know, 10 magazines is one thing. Apparently it really workEd.
DeleteI'm with you, Jenn. I recently cleaned out my mother's pantry for her, and it was like an hour of Zen! Some order brought to a disorderly world!
DeleteI would have to start by downsizing hubs, a/k/a senor pack rat! Like Jenn, decluttering is among my favorite things. It's relaxing and charities benefit from my willingness to be parted from my worthy goods. I thought my husband was going to have a heart attack when I tossed unopened boxes during our last move. I found them deep in the closet under the stairs where they had lived undisturbed for five years. He wanted to dig them out of the dumpster (yes, dumpster) open them up and see what was in them. "We might need this stuff." He pleaded. "Haven't needed it for five years, won't miss it." I won.
ReplyDeleteWe've been talking a lot about de-cluttering and downsizing on the Jungle Reds. You suppose this is something that comes with age? It didn't hit my inlaws, unfortunately. When my father-in-law died, my mother-in-law had to be moved to a memory care outfit. My husband got stuck with the brunt of cleaning out the house, garage, barn, storage sheds, etc of 40+ years of stuff. MIL was a travel agent and evidently she never visited a country she didn't try to buy out and bring home with her. So much stuff. I'm trying to get rid of a lot of our stuff; as I manage some progress, we lose out because we get stuck with other family stuff. I'm pulling my hair out. On top of that husband is a bit of a pack rat. He only gets rid of stuff when we move. We've been here ten years now and I'm sure a move is on the horizon, but it will be a while. In the meantime I'd love to get rid of the crystal we acquired when we married. We never use it. We got my inlaws' Waterford crystal, a souvenir of several trips to Ireland by my MIL. And we have tons of souvenir wine glasses from wineries. But husband doesn't want to get rid of any of it. Help.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing the stuff one accumulates in a very short time, never mind in a life time. Thirty years ago my house burned down to the ground. It (almost) felt good to start agsain from scratch with nothing. Of course now I seem to have way too much of everything and so for the past several months I have been getting rid of things. Doesn't seem to make a dent.
ReplyDeleteI should think a burned house must've been so traumatic Judi! I bet it took a while for the relief to set in.
DeleteHow about a big Jungle Reds yard sale?
ReplyDeleteOutside the jungle red retirement home?
DeleteWhen I had a lot of work done to the house two years ago, I did manage to get rid of some things and at least put in tubs things I was saving, mostly toys that my son had growing up. My daughter had already taken hers, used them, and sent them on their way. She is the best person I've ever seen at continually weeding items out of her house. And, I gathered up all the school items and other memorabilia into two tubs, one for each of the kids. Unfortunately, I still have them both. Working on that. Books are always a problem for me to weed. I will take another run at that this summer. When my husband retires either at the end of this year or sometime next year, I'm looking forward to a giant throw-away, give-away party.
ReplyDeleteWell, I had to downsize when I moved to a smaller place from a bigger place. That included getting rid of many books! Unfortunately, I gave away some books that are now out of print. On the other hand, I am grateful that I kept some books that are now out of print. It was a matter of judgment call. I try to refrain from buying more books and borrow books from the library instead. Now my place is full of old newspapers, which reminds me that I need to put them in the recycling bin. And I did buy more books, which was not a good idea because I really did not have room for more books!
ReplyDeleteThe photos are beautiful.