 |
| Hank over Chicago without Steven Spielberg |
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Yeah well, traveling.
It can be wonderful, it really can. A
fun window seat over a cool recognizable city like Chicago. Sitting by, say, Steven Spielberg. I mean, it could happen. It didn't, though. Yet.
Oh, now, this isn’t what I was going to write, but hmm. Who would I love to sit by, more than anyone? Not counting any of you, of course, because that might really happen. But what if you got on the plane, sat in the widow seat, got organized and say (because this is a fun thing), you looked really great. And as you settle in, you hear a little rustle. And you look up. And about to take the empty seat beside you is—WHO?
Oh, now, this isn’t what I was going to write, but hmm. Who would I love to sit by, more than anyone? Not counting any of you, of course, because that might really happen. But what if you got on the plane, sat in the widow seat, got organized and say (because this is a fun thing), you looked really great. And as you settle in, you hear a little rustle. And you look up. And about to take the empty seat beside you is—WHO?
While you contemplate, say hi to our
Jungle Red stalwart pal, the fab David Burnsworth! He travels. A lot. And he can take the seatmate quiz, too. Right
after he gets his luggage back.
DAVID BURNWORTH: I travel for both my day job and my writing.
And, as I’m sure with most of you who travel, I have some stories. Some of them
good. Some of them not so good. I happen to be on a trip to South America as I
write this, so the challenge of travel is fresh on my mind.
My first trip outside of North
America, I was to meet a friend in Customs in the Brussels Airport. My
departure was from Knoxville and he was flying standby from Atlanta. A problem
for him, and soon for me, was this was the same time that the World Cup was
being played. In France. And he was flying standby. See the problem here? So,
my first time out of the country I had no idea what I was doing. As the first
hour and then the second ticked by while sitting in the airport in another
country waiting and he didn’t show up, I started to wonder that there might be
something wrong. And there was. He was still in Atlanta. I had to figure out
the phone system and make a few calls back to the states. Long story short, it
was my first trial in travel and I had to figure it out on my own.
 |
| David's actual finicky toiletries |
Fast forward twenty years to my
current travel challenge. I thought I had everything covered: a four-hour
layover in ATL before the long flight, a spare set of underwear in my carry on.
Only, and this isn’t the first time I’ve experienced this, Atlanta shuts down
all ground activity because of lighting and heavy rain. Apparently they value
the ground crews’ lives. (Kudos to you, ATL!) So, my fifty-minute flight from
GSP (Greenville Spartanburg) took four hours thanks to a few loops over Atlanta
and a two-hour stopover in Chattanooga for more fuel. Lucky for me, I walked
off that flight, stopped for a quick restroom break, and walked right on my
flight to Chile.
The challenge this time was while I
made it, my bag didn’t. Turns out I can buy most of my finicky toiletry choices (ed. note: see above) in Santiago which is great. But transferring clothing sizes from US English
measurements to metric isn’t so easy. My waist didn’t really just add fourteen
units of measurement? Was it that extra pastry on the flight?
I love to travel. But I find that it
requires patience and a willingness to be flexible.
My best experience? There’s two: Five
years ago, my wife and I got a free upgrade to a suite in Portsmouth, New
Hampshire. The downside? She likes suites now.
The second great experience?
Stuttgart to Atlanta, I got a first class upgrade.
The latest book in my Brack Pelton series, Big City Heat, Brack travels from Charleston to Atlanta to help a
friend find a missing woman. He also faces some challenges, some of them a
little bit more involved than missing luggage.
Do you like to travel? If so, what
are some of your stories?
HANK: Or hey, Reds and readers—tell me
your answer to the seatmate quiz! Only one choice. I’d pick—Stephen King!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
David Burnsworth became fascinated with the Deep South
at a young age. After a degree in Mechanical Engineering from the University of
Tennessee and fifteen years in the corporate world, he made the decision to
write a novel. Big City Heat (April 2017, Henery Press) is the third
title in his Brack Pelton series. In It For The Money (September 2017,
Henery Press) continues the story of Private Eye Blu Carraway from the
cross-over novella, Blu Heat (March 2017, Henery Press). Having lived in
Charleston on Sullivan’s Island for five years, the setting was a foregone
conclusion. He and his wife call South Carolina home.
-->
David, what makes travel stories so captivating? Congratulations on your latest book . . . I’m sure I’ll enjoy Brack’s latest adventure . . . .
ReplyDeleteI used to travel a lot more than I do these days. On one of my conference trips, I arrived safely but my suitcase went somewhere else, which wasn’t much fun.
My worst going to / coming from travel tale of woe involved a dad dragging a youngster through the Atlanta airport with no regard for anyone else, causing me to step awkwardly aside to avoid crashing into the little one. I ended up with a broken bone in my foot and spent several weeks hobbling around in a walking cast.
When the girls were skating, we used to pack so that we’d carry on the ice skates, the skating outfits, and whatever accessories were required for their programs; we’d check everything else . . . we figured we could manage with no changes of clothing better than we could manage without skates or skating dresses at a skating competition. [Of course, after all that juggling, we always managed to find our luggage waiting for us in baggage claim.]
And now that it’s such a hassle to check bags, when we travel, we don’t take anything more than what we can carry on . . . .
Heaven forbid I should ever find myself in a window seat . . . but if I did, I’d pick Lee Child to be sitting in that empty seat next to me.
Joan, Sorry about the broken bone! That tops my woes. And Lee Child would be a nice seat mate.
DeleteOh, poor thing! And yes, Lee would be a perfect choice!
DeleteDavid, congratulations on your latest Brack Pelton series book, and good luck on your future travels!
ReplyDeleteI used to travel a lot for work in my previous job (several flights a month) in Toronto but now I am retired. I only travelled 6 times in the past year but they were all international trips involving planes, and customs and changing terminals and going through security again. It sure isn't easy (or fun) these days to be a frequent flyer if you travel economy!
I think I would be tongue-tied if I sat besides Robert Crais on a long coast-to-coast flight.
Grace, After spending an hour in the cattle lanes in ATL customs. I agree international travel can be challenging! And I really enjoy Joe Pike. Crais would be a fun person to speak with!
DeleteYes, and that is the big question. If someone famous sat next to you, would you actually try to talk to them?
DeleteI will admit that I have weird tastes, but my dream seat mate would be either Peter Firth or Sonny Landreth. Firth is a wonderful British character actor, whose work I have admired for decades, and Landreth is a great slide guitar player whom I want to talk into creating a concerto for slide guitar and wind ensemble.
ReplyDeleteI do like to travel, whether by air or via the great American road trip. I would also like to explore rail travel some day. And travel experiences? Well, there was that time I shepherded 27 musicians from Dallas to San Jose and back, including a layover in Phoenix and a mid-air concert for our fellow travelers. What I mostly remember is that the pianist kept wandering off to get coffee or go to the restroom, just when I needed to count heads, and that I never managed to get lunch in either direction.
a mid-air concert! that sounds so special:)
DeleteGigi, Twenty-seven heads? Sounds like hearding cats. :)
DeleteI'm thinking I can manage a lack of sleep easier than no food.
GIgi !That is hilarious!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteYep, David, I get pretty grumpy when I haven't eaten in many hours. By the time we got to San Jose, I was ready to reach for the flamethrower the first time any musician needed anything. Fortunately, I was able to snag a sandwich and return to my usual sweet self. The video of the in-fight concert is still available here: https://youtu.be/bvgVgLyfA-o It was only the saxophones, plus a couple of percussionists. No room for the whole band to play.
DeleteGigi, thanks for posting the link! I've seen it, of course, but had to watch again. Such fun! (Makes me want to fly Southwest:-))
DeleteWelcome David, and I hope South America is frabjous. It's on my bucket list, but pretty far down, right after the Great Wall and Antarctica.
ReplyDeleteI really don't like the travel part of travelling. I do adore being there. Julie and I tend to fly to wherever and then rent a car. It's the only way we can stop where we like, have lunch in some out of the way bistro in a little French village with fewer people than it has letters in its name.
My favorite thing occurred somewhere in Brittany in a rain storm. We took shelter in a tiny smoky ancient pub. In front of the fire there was a long table, populated by seven or eight ancient Bretons, all with beards, pipes and a pint. They turned and looked our way and went back to speaking their incomprehensible language, much closer to Gaelic than French. Cornish perhaps?
We ordered lunch and continued to observe. Before long the gentlemen got up to leave, and one by one they filed by our table, each nodding at me and saying "Bonjour Madame." It was a highlight of my life to be so honored by the village elders! Either that or I reminded them of their mothers. Or they were giving a course in French manners because I'd failed to greet them when we arrived.
Who would I choose as a seatmate?
I'd choose God, because there are quite a few human resource issues I'd like to get straightened out and more than a few things I'd like to correct on the subject of upper management. As She and I are approximately the same age, I feel I deserve a say.
Ann in Rochester
LOL Ann, who would have thought of God? I am dying to visit Brittany, high on my list!
DeleteAnn, I remember trying to order lunch in Ireland one time and the young lady taking orders couldn't understand me. Aside from a slight southern twang that comes out in the proximity of other southern twangs, my accent is a pretty clean American. And the really funny part was when the poor woman's manager came over and laughed at how I pronounced "ham sandwich." That experience taught me a lot about cutting people slack with accents.
DeleteOh, it is so fun… Always an adventure. Once in Paris, I haltingly ordered our dinner in French, the waiter nodding the whole time, very patient. And when I was finished he said "thank you so much, madame" in perfect English.
DeleteJe vousrais du biere?
DeleteHi, David -- Fun post here! I do have a good story but it would take a brief while to tell, and I've got a five-year-old here who wants to play Old Maid. I'll try to get back to the post later and share!
ReplyDeleteArt
Thanks, Art! Always a pleasure chatting with you.
DeleteSounds exciting! And completely adorable. Say hi to Dash!
DeleteWelcome, David.
ReplyDeleteAh travel adventures... I once sat next to Will Lee who played Mr. Hooper on Sesame Street. What a thrill! Another time I sat next to a woman with the same last name as me. There aren't that many of us, and sure enough we were related (though Ephron is her husband's name.)
And I've got to ask, David, how do you manage to churn out books so fast??
My dream seatmate? Honestly?? An empty seat. I got one going and coming from the California Crime Writers Conference but it rarely happens. It's why I pick a seat near the back of the plane... more likely to have a middle seat empty. And you can really see the ground.
Hey Hallie, I'm with you on the empty seat. I paid to upgrade to Economy Comfort for my long trip down to Chile because I got a window seat in an exit row right next to the rest rooms and with an empty seat next to me. The seat itself was a bit hard, but the infinite legroom and space were a blessing!
DeleteHallie, the back of the plane! Never never never never. But wow, I totally agree about the empty seat! That is the best!
DeleteDavid, that sounds fabulous. And can you guys all go to Facebook and post? Facebook will not let me tag this morning, probably because I am on my iPad. Grr.
Welcome David--tell us more about the new book when you get back to the blog!
ReplyDeleteMy worst travel day might have been on People's Express from FL to Newark. Long story, but it was a fight over putting my suitcase in an overhead bin that had been hogged by a very entitled woman's fur coat. I asked her to hold the coat while I put the suitcase in and then put her coat on top. She refused. The stewardess intervened after this exchange:
LUCY: You're full of shit.
Entitled LADY: Your suitcase is full of shit.
Not elegant, but I got lots of high fives from other passengers on the way off the plane:)
Lucy, Some people just weren't raised right.
DeleteMy new book, the third in the series, picks up with my protagonist, Brack Pelton, jumping at the first chance he can to chase after the woman that got away. And it almost kills him. As a side note, I'm a fan of elephants and had so much fun writing one in as a minor but pivotal character. His name is Mr. Grumpy and he doesn't usually like anyone. My favorite character in the book.
Nice, Lucy! The Battle for overhead bin space is so frustrating… People, use the space right over your seat, and there will be no problem.
DeleteDavid--Mr. Grumpy? ? I actually think he might've been my seatmate on the way to Pittsburgh yesterday…
Hey Hank! Too bad for him. He doesn't know the opportunity he missed. :)
DeleteLucy,
DeleteYou have shocked me! Shocked me! I didn't think you knew that sort of language! (And she deserved it!)
Deb Romano
Lucy Roberta, I am appalled! LOL
DeleteLucy, I would LOVE to have seen that. I would have stood up and cheered for you.
DeleteI once had a flight delayed for two hours (while sitting on tarmac) because some AHat kept trying to shove his bag into a full compartment. He broke the compartment. Maintenance had to be called, compartment repaired. The guy was lucky he got off the plane at the other end of the trip with all his parts intact.
Lucy! !!! you use 'adult' words too. I didn't know that. Now I can breathe easier when we meet f2f. It is too bad the flight attendant did not allow said coat in the coat closet in the first place. This was a preventable issue.
DeleteWow, first adult words and now castration thoughts!
DeleteTravel broadens the mind, right? And sometimes causes your teeth to shorten because of the grinding. Especially ON the plane, where the airlines all insist that we are smaller and smaller, or at least have to contort into smaller and smaller places.
ReplyDeleteSo, if there were not a person sitting in the middle seat, which would be ideal, my second choice would be Hillary Clinton. She's interesting, funny, and I'm sure would not be boring. And I would try very hard to entertain, amuse, and interest her, as well.
Karen, I think you are right. The seats have gotten smaller and I have not. I'm a car enthusiast and an engineer so I might like to talk with someone from Porsche or Ferrari. Or from the latest Mustang design team.
DeleteOh, Hillary Clinton! Especially if she would tell us the scoop…
DeleteOnce I sat next to an interesting man, on his way back home to Denver after speaking at a worldwide water conference. My middle daughter, who I was on my way to visit, works in the energy sector, and what this guy does touches on her field, so I asked for his card for her.
ReplyDeleteShe called him, and they have now met a couple times, and he's been a help to her career. You just never know.
Networking. I can't speak highly enough about it!
DeleteGreat story! Sometimes I actively don't talk to my seatmate, and sometimes I wonder what I might be missing, you know?
DeleteHank, once I was seated in coach next to a lovely woman. We started chatting as soon as we sat down, and enjoyed it very much.
DeleteI'd had an interaction at security with one of the flight attendants, who had hinted that she might do something nice for me. As soon as the seatbelt sign was off she came back to say she "had a better seat", meaning first class. But I really couldn't see the point of moving, when my seatmate was so engaging, so I politely declined. It was worth it; the flight flew by with our lively conversation. I don't even remember what the topics were, but we had fun.
I used to like to travel - by car, by plan (infrequently). But now? I like being home, I like being wherever I'm going and I'd rather just skip the hassle in between. I have to drive to D.C. tomorrow. Four hours in the car with my girl who is begging me not to make her drive the PA Turnpike or I-95. Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteBut if I HAD to fly, I think I'm with Hallie. My ideal seat mate would be an empty seat so I can read, write, and/or nap without someone feeling they had to be "neighborly." The exception might be one of my writing friends.
Mary/Liz
Oh, Mary, neighborly… Why is that so cringe worthy? And yes, I am a champ at writing on the plane. It is my favorite.
DeleteSafe travels!
Mary, I like to drive if it is no more than seven hours. Otherwise I prefer to fly.
DeleteI wonder if the virtual reality technology will allow us to experience new places without the hassle of the TSA pat- down?
David--two series? Congratulations on the new book! I'm wondering, as an engineer--working with plans, etc., do you work from a detailed outline when you write? Or fly by the seat of your pants?
ReplyDeleteOh, great question Flora! And… Fly? :-)
DeleteFlora,
DeleteI'm a pantser through most of the first draft. Then I have to go back and sometimes change the sequence. Thanks for the question!
David, congratulations on your new book. Love to travel. Ideal seat mate would be Alexander McCall Smith.
ReplyDeleteOh, wouldn't that be so sweet? What a great idea.
ReplyDeleteHank, I actually met AMcCS at a book signing event. Love all of his books.
DeleteFunny story about my first solo flight. I was about 10 years old. I loved the television show Lost in Space. Actually I was watching reruns since they broadcasted before I was born. I was seated next to another kid about my age. She looked like Penny. When my parents picked me up at the airport, I said I met Penny. It was hilarious because at that time the actress was grown up and married with children.
ReplyDeleteOnce, on a flight, the kid in the seat behind me counted down through our whole taxi and takeoff sequence: Ten . . . Nine . . . Eight . . . He'd start over again when it took us too long. When we finally lifted off, he finished his countdown with, "Blast off to Jupiter!!!!" I'm not sure what he had been watching, but he clearly had a vivid imagination. I was sorry that Jupiter turned out to look an awful lot like Kansas City.
DeleteMy first flight was over thirty years ago. I flew with my dad, I think to Atlanta from Pittsburgh. I remember he showed me how to equalize the pressure in my ears.
DeleteThe first time I flew, in 1976, there were a couple dozen passengers flying to a bowling tournament--for people who were visually impaired or totally blind. Most had their families with them and most had flown before. They were very friendly and struck up conversations with strangers. They were very attuned to every sound the plane made and explained what each one meant. They were all excited about participating in the tournament. The flight attendants had a lot of fun with them. The overall atmosphere was almost like a party! When the plane landed, they all burst into applause! I thought maybe all flights ended that way, but someone explained "the only way we know we've landed is when we feel the plane touching down." I hated to part ways with them! Everybody wished them luck at the tournament. All I could think is that I could never bowl above around 60, and I can SEE what I'm doing!
ReplyDeleteDeb Romano
The flight to Brussels I talk about in my post was one big party. Most of the people were going to watch the soccer games.
DeleteIn the 80s when flying was wonderful plus my job sent me by business class, I sat beside Dizzy Gillespie. That jazz man was so charming. He signed my boarding pass stub for me. I treasured it for years but Iost it in the 90s. Back then I began reading John Le Carre's superb spy novels. Yesterday I preordered his new book due out in September. I choose him as my flying seatmate. He is a wonderful raconteur.
ReplyDeleteWow! That is a wonderful story!
DeleteOkay, I'm jealous! Great story!
DeleteI am off to teach an afternoon seminar at Seton Hill College in Pennsylvania… I will check in later! Love to you all…
ReplyDeleteI'm finally home from Chile. Great trip but I'm glad to be back with my wife.
DeleteKaren, you beat me to Hillary. Wouldn't it be fun to talk to her about books? (And a nice change for her, I can imagine...) So instead can I be totally shallow and say I'd love to sit next to Matt Damon? I'd be to shy to talk to him, but I think he'd be very interesting and funny.
ReplyDeleteI had a great seatmate on an overnight flight to London a year or so ago. This was January, and we were stuck on the tarmac (again) while they de-iced the plane. My seatmate was a corporate pilot for a very high-end charter service. He explained everything that was happening with the de-icing, then told me lots of stories about the places he'd flown and the people (he did NOT name names) who had been passengers. Then after dinner and a glass of wine, we both got our blankets and went to sleep. The perfect travel companion!
David, congrats on your book(s). I, too, want to know how you can write them so fast. And I can't wait to read about Mr. Grumpy.
Oh, yes, and I understand Hillary is a great reader.
DeleteLately my goal is 1000 words a day. Some days I do more, other days life gets in the way. :)
DeleteI love to travel, as a child I knew there was more out "there". I wanted to experience it. I once sat next to the engineers/scientists who were working on the technology for cell use for hearing impaired. That was a wonderful conversation. Before I retired from the airline, I did more flying..now the retired employee is boarded last, it is hard to get on the flight. // David, what was it about the south that drew your attention? // I would like my seatmate to be a time traveler who would be willing to break character and share about what is to come.
ReplyDeleteI've lived in the South most of my life. Atlanta, then Knoxville, Charleston, and now Spartanburg. Charleston is wonderful! Atlanta is a "Big City."
DeleteI'm afraid I vote for the empty seat. If anyone famous sat next to me I don't think we'd talk unless he/she started first. I figure most people like some quiet time on a plane. And planes are so noisy! Generally I'm friendly and will yak with someone who wants to yak a little. Generally businessmen for some reason. But once the flight gets underway it seems conversation dies a natural death.
ReplyDeleteDavid, you were talking about accents. My husband's mom is from Mississippi. When her dad visited them in Mexico years ago no one could understand his English. They had to translate everything he said to other English speakers.
I've had to translate southern before. It's kind of fun! Much of the phrasing is just so rich.
DeleteEmpty seat. No exceptions. Okay, maybe I would share with Queen Elizabeth, but truly, she is it. I'm six feet tall - I need all the leg room I can get.
ReplyDeleteDavid, I'm looking forward to your novel. I love reading a good southern mystery in the summer and Brack Pelton looks to be a solid bet!
Jenn,
DeleteThanks! Let me know what you think of Brack. BTW-You're taller than me. If I'm cramped for legroom, I really feel for your struggles!
Jenn, sometimes I wish I was 6 feet tall. Though when I was in college, most of the women were shorter than I was and I felt like I was tall :-) . Even though I am not 6 feet tall, I do have long legs.
DeleteOh, best flight ever - I was onboard SW airlines with the WNBA Phoenix Mercury - about 15 years ago. I had baby hooligan one on my lap - not for long. Those ladies passed him around like he was a basketball. It was awesome.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I hope you got pictures.
DeleteI tapped 'preview' and my lengthy reply disappeared into the ether �� Going with brevity this time: I'd see if they seemed open to chatting. If they were trying to work, I'd be respectful. Fave seat mate ? Hank, of course! Other fun choices to shoot the snark: mom/daughter duo Lisa Scottoline & Francesca Serritella, Alafair Burke, Linda Fairstein. That would be a seriously fun flight!
ReplyDeleteHa! Imagine all of you ladies on the same flight! You'd have one heck of a party!
DeleteWell! I am thrilled! Let's make it happen… How wonderful!
DeleteIf I could choose a seatmate it would be someone funny, maybe Harlen Coben or Dave Barry even. The first time I flew to CA I had 3 whole seats all to myself! How great was that. But flying back I had the window seat, a large lady in the middle and her husband on the aisle. She was very put out when I had to make several restroom visits. I was a little put out myself!
ReplyDeleteJudi,
DeleteI used to love the window seats. But since I can't seem to sleep well on planes any more, like last night, I think I'm going for the aisle from now on. The lady next to me last night did not go to the rest room for 3 hours. Luckily she finally did and I slipped out as well. I try to be considerate but only to a point.
David
I've interviewed Dave Barry, and he is unbelievably hilarious. Brilliant and hilarious. What a great choice!
DeleteI would be willing to sit in the middle if I had Barack Obama on one side and George Clooney on the other. If that's not happening, I always take an aisle, and I'm not partial to chatting, but I'm friendly. I've had many nutty travel experiences, but my most recent was a woman who broke her leg while getting into her seat. I know, it still baffles me, but it was two hours of agonized screaming as they worked to get her off the plane!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you're here today, David. I remember meeting you in Raleigh and look forward to seeing you at the next Bcon!
Thanks, Ingrid! It was a pleasure to meet you and I look forward to Bouchercon!
DeleteLooking forward to my first Bouchercon. Still trying to negotiate with the Bouchercon organizers regarding accommodations. I may not be able to attend the panels, though I plan to buy books and get my books signed! Hoping that I will get the accommodations that I asked for. Already talked to Helen N. and hope I answered her questions. Still waiting to hear back from her.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes on your first Bouchercon!
Deletethank you :-)
DeleteBack from my daylong event! I have absolutely no voice left! So funny! What a pure joy… See you all tomorrow, for a very special guest!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for hosting me! This has been so much fun!
DeleteDunno who I'd request, because be careful what you wish for.
ReplyDeleteBut one time I found myself sitting beside....the president of the airline. (Westjet didn't have separate class sections back then.) He asked me for input on what I liked and didn't like. Wow!
It's nice to see other people's experience. I traveled several times but there's nothing special :(
ReplyDeleteinstagram online