When Will I Ever Learn?

RHYS BOWEN: Last week I made dinner for some friends. “What are you planning to cook?” John asked.
“It’s a chicken with lemon and rice dish,” I said.
He looked worried. “Have you made it before?”
“No, but I saw the demo on Facebook. It looked good.”
He sighed and walked away, knowing better than to say anything. And actually it turned out just fine.

But I have to confess that I have tried out a new recipe on guests in the past and it has not been an unqualified success: like the time I wanted to impress with turban of sole. I’d seen the recipe in a magazine but never tried it. You line a bundt pan with fillets of sole and make this incredibly rich mixture of mushroom and shrimp that you stuff it with.  You poach in hot water. Then you turn it out  and voila. A perfect ring of sole with a delightfully rich surprise inside.   Only I turned mine out onto the plate and it collapsed into a soggy, unidentifiable pink mess with the inside shrimp mixture still runny and flowing. The guests were waiting. There was no way I could serve them a pink blob with salad.
So I should have learned not to try out new recipes when I have guests.
What else should I have learned?
Shoes that pinch in the store will not miraculously stop pinching when I’ve worn them a little. In fact they will pinch worse. I have several pairs, sitting on my shoe rack, that prove this.

However tempted I am, I should not cut my own hair. I look in the mirror and think my bangs are just a tad too long and I should just snip a little…..and now I have bangs that are too short.

And toe nails. Do not paint my own toenails, whatever happens. I need a new pedicure but I don’t have time so how hard can it be to put polish on my own toes? And I have blue not just on the nail but around the rest of the toe, looking like a strange case of frostbite.

And just because something is a bargain I should not buy it unless I really love it. I have items in my closet I have never worn and finally give to charity. How stupid is that?

And I should have learned not to read reviews and not to care about them.

I’m sure there are more, but I should stop before I embarrass myself too much.
So now I want your confessions, Reds. What should you have learned, but haven’t?

HALLIE EPHRON: That 9 times out of 10, whatever I lost is exactly where I think I left it. Go back and look again.
Not everyone agrees with me. Surprising, I know.
If I remind my husband, it won't necessarily get done faster.
It's not all about word count: sometimes a book has to get shorter to get better.
A second glass of wine is never a good idea.
At least half of what I pack I will not wear.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  If you want to take off whatever layer is underneath whatever you are wearing on top, and you figure you can just slide the underthing off  without taking off the top, forget about it. Just take the top off. It'll take longer to take the shortcut.
Defrosting in the microwave does not work.
If it crosses your mind: do I need a _____? You do. Jacket, umbrella, bag of nuts, flat shoes, scarf, shawl, sunglasses. If you think of it, there's a reason.
You always need a little bag of almonds.
A lost thing will reappear when you stop looking so hard.
You can't hurry rice.
(And I totally agree about the shoes, sales and toenails. Whoa--does that sound like a cozy title?) 

DEBORAH CROMBIE:
Don't ever get on an international flight hungry.
Always order the airline vegetarian entree, even if you are not vegetarian.
There is no way you can keep dog hair from getting on your clean clothes in your suitcase.
No matter how many miles you walk on a vacation, calories do still count.
The third glass of wine is never a good idea.

JENN McKINLAY:
If I think the correct direction is the left, then I should definitely go to the right.
The answer to the crossword clue will suddenly come to me when I pick up the paper later.
It's not about word count and it's better to turn a book in late rather than on time and lousy.
A second or third glass of wine might not be a good idea but dessert always is!

INGRID THOFT:
I rarely regret exercising.
You should smile at parents on planes, especially parents of babies.  They need moral support!
A late thank you note is better than no thank you note.
A rainy afternoon viewing of a British TV mystery can cure much of what ails you.
Forget the wine!  Have a cocktail!
I agree with Jenn:  Dessert is always a good idea.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Hmmm. Things I should learn, but don't...
I can not actually finish the first draft of a book by writing 2000 words per day every day for weeks.One week in I will have written no more than 1100 words in a day and will miss writing twice; once to take Youngest to school/the doctor's/rehearsal/part-time job, and the second when my car starts to wheeze and I have to spend hours in the garage waiting room. Speaking of which...
Change the oil every 3,000 miles. How did I get to 6,000 so fast? What's that smell?
Bronchitis will not be cured by antibiotics, but by the passage of time. Three months, usually.
I will never eat a whole watermelon before it rots.
When traveling for Thanksgiving, get your tickets early. The fact that once in 1989 airline prices dropped on November 20 does not mean they will do so this year. Or any other year.