The R Word

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: January first, 2018. Has there ever been a time when this many people have been so glad to turn the calendar page and start a new year? I don't know about you, but 2017 felt like one long, exposed raw nerve to me. Thank heavens we have the ritual of New Year's Day, a pause in the rush of time, a clean, unmarked sheet of paper. 2017 is done, it's behind us, and we have 365 days waiting, pristine and unopened, to get things right. To do things better. To vote in the midterm elections. (Ha! Sorry, we try to be apolitical here on JRW, but I couldn't resist.)So, Reds, it's time to bring out the "R" word - that's right, Resolutions. I was thinking about the word itself. We're all very big on goals nowadays, but a resolution isn't setting a goal, or saying "I'll aim for x, y, and z." Resolution, according to my American Heritage Dictionary, is "a course of action determined or decided upon." It was the HMS Resolute, not the HMS Goal-Oriented (of course, that didn't stop it from getting trapped in the arctic ice and abandoned.) So what are the course of actions we've determined for the upcoming year?Fortunately for all of us, we didn't do this New Year's Day post last year, and so we are all spared spilling the beans on what we didn't manage to fulfill. (Full disclosure - I achieved NONE of my resolutions and actually reversed one of my 2016 goals by gaining back the twenty pounds I had lost that year!) So what will I tackle in the year to come? Besides trying to lose those twenty pounds for a second time?

I resolve to manage my stress better. I want to make mindful prayer and meditation part of my daily routine. Another part of stress management is regular (joint-friendly) exercise. I will re-up our family membership at the local Y and start swimming again. I may also just keep on watching Hallmark Christmas movies all year - they're soooo soothing and uplifting.

I resolve to not shut myself up in my house and hide. I will try to have lunch, or coffee, or see a movie with friends once a week, especially as the Smithie may be moving out of the house (finally) (Just joking, Smithie, you can stay as long as you like.) (But really, leave.) and Youngest, God willing, will be starting college at the end of August.

I resolve to learn how to do some basic house fix-ups and landscaping chores, and I will buy the tools necessary to do them now I don't have men around. Seriously, I didn't know how I was going to reach the top shelves anymore when my cousin Ron bought me a folding step-stool. It has changed my life.
 
I resolve to write, even if it means scrapping the work-in-progress and starting over. Geez, I hope my agent and editor don't read this.
I resolve to keep making lists, because they are really changing my ability to organize my time! (Evermore not one of my talents.)

How about you, Reds?
 HALLIE EPHRON: Julia, your resolutions are awe-inspiring. Though when you wrote: "Another part of stress management is regular (joint…"
I read: "Another part of stress management is A regular joint…"
which made me think… well, never mind.

JULIA: I do still have quite a bit of the medical marijuana prescribed for Ross. Maybe...?


HALLIE: My resolution is to stay physically active and not become a couch potato. I stopped going to my exercise classes because my joints are wearing and I needed something less bouncey. Hoping gentle yoga is the answer. And regular walks.

FINISH THE DAMNED BOOK! I am aided by the fact that my editor just went out on maternity leave and that gives me an extra month. So no excuses.

Refresh and nurture some relationships that have sadly frayed in the past. And just be less judgmental. Good luck with that. 

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Oh, gosh, I don't know.  Jonathan and I were just talking about how easy it is to lose track of friends--everyone is so busy. So we agreed to try harder.

 To realize everything doesn't have to be PERFECT.  That walking might be the solution to everything.  And that even though you might be (briefly) trapped in the ice, that goal-oriented is good.  As long as the goals are flexible.

To be optimistic, and kind, and patient. Patient patient patient. (And not be inwardly critical. Yeah, that'll happen.) And persevere. But book will get written. I don't even have to resolve that, I think. It just will.

And yes, as you said, Julia, we do not do politics here. But every day, I am going to chant: diversity, vulnerable, evidence-based...and etc. Ha.

But I am not going to resolve to cut down on caffeine. Because..why?LUCY BURDETTE: Oh no Julia, please don't scrap the WIP--I feel certain the story is there and we're desperate to read it!

Resolution: Spend less time on social media. Sigh. And put into action the things I really believe in (many have to do with those banned words.) I'm pretty good at exercising, but the stress management part needs work! It's such a waste of good energy to worry things over and over and over...

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Yes, Julia, the JOINT is helpful for stress management, LOL.

I am with you all on most of these resolutions. First, FINISH THE BOOK. Prioritize!!!

To that end:

Take regular walks. Or even bike!  (We got our bikes out a couple of weeks ago and it was so much fun!) 

I'm already spending so much less time on social media that I'm missing keeping up with friends, so it's hard to find a balance there.


Be more organized. Make lists. Structure my time better. Go to bed earlier. Get up earlier. Read more. Make a list of what I HAVE read!

Say "NO" more often!!! (Proud of myself for already turning down half a dozen speaking engagements for next year. I can't write and organize speaking events at the same time.)

Do my bit to improve our situation (vote, contribute) without letting the news distract me from everything that is good in my life and in my community.

Pay attention to what's around me.

Make more time, somehow.

And keep up my journals!!!!

Oh, and become a better cook.

(Um, have I gone overboard, here?)RHYS BOWEN: Oh yes, Debs: learn to say NO more often. How many times have I agreed to go and speak somewhere because it seems rude to say no. Then one day I wake up and realize I have to fly to DALLAS to give a speech at a luncheon. How ridiculous is that?  So I will try to cut back on events this year. Only do things that make sense and bring me joy.

That will be my main resolution: only do things that bring me joy. Life is too short to be stuck with boring and miserable tasks.
Also: make enough time for friends and family.
Take time for myself every day, just to drive to a nice view, walk on a beach, go have a massage, sit alone and drink a coffee.... just to rewind.

Not worry too much about the state of our country and the world. Things will sort themselves out... but encourage everyone I know to vote! 

And most important: do something good every day, even if it's as small as telling the bank teller that you like her necklace or letting another car go first at a stop sign. But also telling my husband and family that I love them... and showing it.

And making sure I laugh at least once a day.

INGRID THOFT: I live in Seattle so a joint isn’t required.  I can just inhale when I walk down the street!

First and foremost: FINISH THE BOOK!  But also, don’t beat myself up about the process of finishing the book.  I’m a “control enthusiast,” as my husband likes to say, and I find it difficult to accept the messy reality of creating something.  The starts and stops, false starts, and detours are part of getting to the final manuscript, but it's a challenge to go with the flow.  I resolve to take the process as it comes. 
 
I’d like to get better at meal planning.  Since I live right by Pike Place Market, I tend to take a European approach to food shopping and planning, but I think it would take less mental energy if I thought about it a week in advance.

And yes, voting.  We all need to resolve to vote!

JENN McKINLAY: Resolutions. I love them. I love New Year's Eve more than any other holiday because I love the idea of the life do-over, plus, champagne and fireworks! My resolutions are pretty simple compared to years past. For the longest time I had two resolutions -- be the best mom I could be and get published. Well, I feel as if I've accomplished those goals. While not perfect in either category, I can honestly say I've done my best. 
 

Now, that the hooligans are older and need me less and I've gotten published and have been encouraged to spread my wings and write whatever I'd like, I want to turn inward, slow down, breathe. The world has had me in a constant state of outrage for so long that it's become my normal state. I don't like it. It taints everything. So, while a walk through Seattle (LOL) would be helpful, I think I am going to try to be more mindful of what I can do - support candidates I believe in, vote, attend town halls and meetings, write letters, etc. - but also make the time to meditate, find joy in the small things, spend time with my family and friends, and to keep living my best life by treating it like the grand adventure that it is. 

JULIA: A grand adventure, indeed,  Jenn. How about you, dear readers? What are your resolutions? Any suggestions for my joint stress management?