Too Old To Do What?

RHYS BOWEN: I just read something on Facebook that made my eyes pop out of my head. All right, I agree, there is plenty on Facebook that elicits that reaction, from kittens watching Pyscho to photoshopped images meant to stir up the far-right. But this was personal. It stated: researchers in Britain have concluded that the age at which women should stop wearing jeans is 53.

As someone who is a trifle older than 53 but who spends her life in jeans I was mortally offended. How dare they! Which researchers! Using what criterea? Are tight legs and bums supposed to stop our blood supply, cause us to overheat or create varicose veins?  No. The article ended lamely with the conclusion that it is hard to fit the more mature female body into jeans.

So sigh of relief. I shall go on wearing them. But this came at a time when I have been very conscious of which items of clothing are not suitable for my age. As some of you know, I am heading for the Edgars and Agathas banquets as a nominee this year. I want to look good and I'd like a new dress. I have been shopping extensively and can't find anything that's right for me. Every cocktail dress seems to be above the knee and I don't think that women of my age should show their knees, especially on the off-chance that they have to go up the steps to accept an award. The dresses seem to have either a high waist, which makes those of us with a little stomach bulge look pregnant, or they are tight and draped, accentuating said stomach pooch.

I'm now considering wearing the silk tux I've worn to other awards. At least it looks elegant, and ageless!

So I'm wondering what the rest of you think: what items of clothing do you think women of a certain age should stop wearing? Bikinis? Shorts?  (I've been known to wear both recently) Or should we be able to wear what we like and to hell with what the world thinks?

LUCY BURDETTE: Oh definitely we should wear what we like! I too live in jeans and can't imagine ever giving them up. Ditto for shorts, yoga pants, and skirts that fall above the knee. I'm not saying mini-skirts, but a little shorter than knee-length so they don't look dowdy. (Unfortunately when walking any distance, I have to wear my sneakers too, which isn't ideal but it works.) By the time we are the age we are, we've sort of figured out what looks good and feels comfortable. So why let other people tell us they know better? But personally, I am not going back to a bikini...

About your dress, I have a friend who goes to Saks and makes an appointment with one of their shoppers. The shopper brings in a bunch of stuff to the dressing room and shuttles out the rejects and brings in more. She's always successful. Maybe that would help??

HALLIE EPHRON: I find fancy dresses harder to shop for than bathing suits...and that's going some. I'll be at the Edgars but in my usual LBD. With pink pearls.

My daughters have informed me that denim jumpsuits and parachute pants are back--all the clothes that I embarrassed them by wearing when they were growing up. If I still had them, I'd wear them. 

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:May I just say? It has nothing to do with age. Whatever age, who cares.  It has to do with what looks appropriate, and fun, and flattering (why not?) and, if you care about it and it works, fashionable.  I love fashion, and I love to wear nice clothes.   (The Devil Wears Prada, forgive me, explains it.)  But it's not age! It's what is attractive--and by that I mean--seamlessly flattering and appropriate. If I watch TV news, I often yell at the screen. WHAT IS THAT?  There should be no cleavage in TV. Ah. What are they thinking? But they are young! And still--what they are wearing is gaspingly wrong.
SO it's what right for  you, jeans or not jeans--whatever works. For YOU.
Yes, Rhys ,personal shopper at Saks or Neimans. Free and fabulous.  Hallie and Rhys--winning is the best outfit! And we are crossing fingers like mad.
PS.  NO denim jumpsuits. NO parachute pants.  I have spoken. :-)

JENN McKINLAY: Nope. Nope. Nope. Jeans are my uniform and I will wear them until my demise, which will hopefully be when I hit the triple digits. I love when they come up with these goofy things. No mini-skirts after thirty. Seriously? I wore one this week and it looked fabulous. No hoop earrings after forty. Why not? What does age have to do with hoop earrings? My oppositional defiance disorder kicks in when i read stuff like this. Note to self: Go purchase the biggest hoops you can find. 

INGRID THOFT: No hoop earrings after forty?!  I love hoop earrings!  They’re versatile and classic, and they go with everything.  You’ll have to pry my hoops off of my cold, dead ear lobes.  I think these sorts of rules are silly.  People should wear whatever they want, but I like to keep in mind whether something is flattering and appropriate (Hank, some of our news anchors out here look like they’re going to cocktail parties after being on air!) for the time and place. 
Nordstrom also has personal shoppers, Rhys.  I’ve heard nothing but good things about their services!

RHYS: No hoop earrnings? Who makes up these rules? And I also read that women over 50 should not wear eye make-up. Balls, as we'd say in England! I love my eye make up and will keep using until I turn 90!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING; Agreed on do what looks right for you. I have a friend closing in on sixty who has fabulous legs, and she wears short skirts all the time. The difference between the way she wears them and the way a 24 year old wears it? Her skirts are made from excellent fabric and she layers them over tights.

I think the line that age draws should be timelessness and quality. Trendy fast fashion is for the young. When neon and lace is THE spring look, my daughters can wear frocks from H&M (that will shred after the 9th washing) and be cute. If I wear the same thing, no matter how flattering, I look like a sucker. At a certain age, you should be above the fray of this hot fabric or that must-do style, especially, as Hank says, when it's unflattering. (Those weird shoulder cut-outs, anyone?) You should go for the classics - like jeans and hoop earrings! - and buy the good stuff, not cheap-o items with fabric you can poke a finger through and stitching you can unravel with a tug.

That being said, clothing manufacturers need to get a clue. When your choice for an occasion is between a prom dress and something Queen Elizabeth would wear, it's not your issue, it's the industry's.

RHYS: Julia, if I had time and energy, I'd open a chain of stores just for ladies over 50. Elegant, timeless clothes that do not make me look like someone's grandmother. Talbots and Chicos used to be like that but they are now catering to the younger crowd. Silly, because we have the disposable income!

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Julia, that is the perfect description of the cocktail dress dilemma!! Surely there must be something in between the Queen and the Prom! I'm only glad I'm not going to the Edgars or the Agathas because I don't have to shop for a dress.

As for jeans, I don't know what I would wear if I gave them up. Rhys, did this fashion pundit offer any alternatives? Polyester pant suits, perhaps? I wear leggings and sweaters, and skirts above my knees, and I intend to keep on doing it, but I try to stay away from the trendy. (No "cold shoulder" tops, thank you very much.) No jumpsuits, although I had one in the nineties that I absolutely loved. And no hoop earrings, but just because they don't seem to suit me.

And please, can someone explain to me what is this thing with women only tucking the front of their shirts into their jeans? Is it to prove that their stomachs are flat?

RHYS: So let's hear from you now: What should we and shouldn't we wear?