We started the week with an unexpected column from the Maine Millennial:
Oh, yes, this was a surprise to me. Not my daughter's issues with alcohol - we had plenty of discussions about that - and not that she had reached the point where, as she said, "I just don't want to do that to myself anymore." The part where she also told the entire state of Maine (and anyone reading along on the internet)? That was pure Smithie. I did try to raise her to be open and honest. VERY open and VERY honest.
Next on the agenda... you can all guess from this picture!
Family - that's the Sailor, who drove all the way up from Norfolk on a three-day leave to cheer his sister on while wearing a kilt,
Then, just two days later, it was primary day in Maine. Youngest has been interning for the Cote for Governor campaign, and because she will be eighteen by the November election, she got to cast a ballot for the very first time. She later told me she was more excited about exercising her franchise than she was about graduating! (Although she didn't get any presents for voting.)
I didn't even get to tell you about my brother visiting with his wife and adorable son, or the spontaneous post-grad BBQ held by dear friends, or me picking Youngest up at 5am after Project Graduation (yawn!) or Youngest helping coordinate responses to challenges for seventeen-year-olds voting (via text, of course)... but enough about me and my fabulous kids. Tell me about some fabulous kids you know, dear readers!
What an amazing family! I’m in awe . . . .
ReplyDeleteYou have much to be proud of, and you know Ross is beaming down from heaven.
ReplyDeleteI have two wonderful adult sons, as different from each other as they can be in many ways, yet alike in the most important way: they love and support each other, and their mama, too. Older is getting married in late September and he and his bride have asked younger to officiate. Plus, we have our two honorary grandkids, Miss B and Mr. J now 12 and 9 whom we are really close to, who live nearby. We've known them all their lives and spend regular time with them. And now we also have the delightful Cosima, a cheery baby of nine months, my goddaughter's daughter, who I had the pleasure of help get born at her mom's request. So I am rich in children, with grandkids yet to come, and yet I weep for the little ones currently in cages, apart from their parents and not being cuddled by anyone. It's criminal.
Agreed, Edith. A blot on a civilized nation.
DeleteYou have the most amazing and colorful family Julia. You must be bursting with pride and I know that Ross would be too. Absolute congratulations to all of you – cannot wait to see what’s next on this young woman’s agenda!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Julia! What a terrific family!
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting mix of personalities, Julia. And congratulations to Youngest on her launch in life. After this past year, I think "you've all done very well," as Young Mr. Grace would say. Be proud of your accomplishment, Julia. Mothers often get a ton of blame but rarely the credit deserved. Kudos
ReplyDeleteWow! What a week — and you must be smiling from ear to ear! And we are all cheering you on, All of you, in every way!
ReplyDeleteJulia, that your children all feel free to put their real selves out there is a great testament to your and Ross's parenting skills. I love their individuality and the confident way in which each expresses it. These young people will not ever need to act out because of having been suppressed in any way, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteFree to be, you and me. Brava!
I'm incredibly proud of my three daughters, all strong, independent professional women with amazing careers, all helping other human beings in some way. And like your offspring, they are all close to their parents, which is the biggest blessing of all. I'm hoping my grandson follows in their footsteps.
congratulations! What a treat to have everyone in the same place at the same time. When can the Youngest run for State office? She's well on her way.
ReplyDeleteWe're in Cincinnati, DC, New Orleans and Houston and try to convene the entire team once a year.
Congratulations! It looks like your family is on solid ground after a couple of hard years. They will find new ways to worry you over the years, cause that's what they do, but they are all on good paths, care about each other and your. That is a lot. It will be wonderful to see what comes next for all of them.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your splendid children, Julia. They are clearly the product of smart and loving parents who raised them to be their own people in this world. I believe that unconditional love and acceptance is the very most solid foundation on which to build a meaningful and productive life. Onwards into 2018: May it be interesting and rewarding for each of you!
ReplyDeleteJulia, thank you so much for sharing these photos--the love and support and pride you all feel for each other was there in every smile! Mama, take a bow, put your feet up, and raise a glass to Ross! You two done yourselves proud with those three kids!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a week - congratulations!
ReplyDeleteThe Girl can be stubborn, frustrating, and makes me want to yank out my hair at times (I've been waiting for her to get a job for, oh, a month now. She's been putting me off. I finally made some unwanted suggestions yesterday, and lo and behold she found two places that afternoon to put in applications). But she is also smart, hardworking, has a good heart under her snarky exterior, and I know she's going to knock it out of the park. Eventually. After the universe is done slapping a few of the teenage-entitlement beliefs out of her. =)
The Boy is a bit different. A little more laid back, not quite as academically-minded, and surprisingly eager to people-please so folks like him, which has had a tendency to get him into trouble. But he has a heart of gold and he looks after his mother. I took him to lunch yesterday because I had to meet a friend. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I introduced him, he held out his hand, and said, "Very pleased to meet you." That's a change from the shy little lkid wave or the standoffish teenage boy one.
Mary/Liz
They do grow up, Mary. I promise!
DeleteYeah, it's amazing when something you've told them 1000 times suddenly appears - you think, Wow! My kid has it together!
DeleteMary, I can't recall if you've mentioned how old the Girl is, but I can tell you, pretty much all of her 16th year Youngest was impossible. Whiny, disorganized, angry and rude - always just skirting the edge of where I'd have to come down on her, of course. 17 heading into 18 she's become a darling. They do settle down.
The Girl will be 18 at the end of July. She's been varying levels of bearish since she turned 13. One minute, she's a darling and the next I want to send her to the convent until she's 30.
DeleteMary/Liz
Wow! What a bright and fun family. Would any writer dare put that many highly individual personalities in one story--let alone one family?
ReplyDeleteAs for great kids, I spent most of last week with about 500 of them. My favorite was Kameron--a tiny little guy who clearly hasn't hit his middle school growth spurt yet. I met him at the morning registration table on the second day of Band Camp because he had forgotten his name badge. I hand-printed a new one for him. Then on Wednesday he came back, because he had forgotten his name badge. I printed another new one, but asked what was happening to his badges? (I worried about bullying on the bus.) He'd just taken them off at home and forgotten them.
"We have to stop meeting like this," I said.
"I know," he replied with utter seriousness but no remorse. "I have to get on top of this."
I looked him up later. He had just gotten out of the sixth grade!
On Thursday and Friday I spotted him in the halls, wearing one of the hand-printed badges. On Saturday, when they all marched down to Symphony Hall for the final concert, he was wearing his official, computer-printed name badge. On top of it, Kameron! I can't wait to see what he's doing by next year's band camp.
Also, we had a video crew in from one of our major donors, interviewing kids and documenting the camp. One young lady was asked why she liked playing her clarinet. She said she liked the sound, and the feel of it in her hands. Then she added, "And I like to play it because my mother played clarinet, and she's dead, so it helps me feel closer to her." Kids in inner city band camp have a lot to deal with that suburban kids generally don't. But they're on top of it!
Thanks for sharing these lovely stories, Gigi. Made a difference today.
DeleteGigi, your clarinet player's story made me gasp. How touching.
DeleteA friend who played standing bass for the Cincinnati Symphony for thirty years spent several years working with kids in the school that stood across the street from Music Hall. He was particularly drawn to one kid who had such incredible family challenges, but who was also talented in three instruments. Frank followed him for a long time, watching over him, and helping as needed. I'll have to get an update, it's been awhile since we talked about this.
Gigi, as the mother of a band camp kid, I absolutely love this.
DeleteBand kids are the best! I swear, they learn teamwork, and personal responsibility, and all kinds of good stuff, in addition to learning how to play music.
DeleteKaren, I hope you do follow up with your friend in the CSO. We just heard back this summer from a kid who went to our band camp for 6 years, won a full scholarship to TCU in Fort Worth, then went on to get his master's degree in tuba performance. He wrote in May to let us know he will be attending the Eastman School of Music this fall to begin studying for his doctorate. He came from a low-income family, and was the first in his family to attend college. He credits our band camp with showing him the way. I can't wait to welcome Dr. Alonso back in a couple of years--maybe to teach with us!
Last week I rented a house in Eddyville, NY -- near Kingston, along the Esopus Creek. My step-father is receiving hospice services at home, and I was there to see him, support my mother, and give my family a place to stay. First, my daughter and her family (her husband and their three adorable little girls) came for 24 hrs -- they drove from CT. My oldest drove from DC and stayed for three nights. Then my daughter from Watertown, MA drove down with her 13 year old boy. We enjoyed so many "snow globe moments"! My sister Nancy had come from California for the week, and she stayed at Mom's house.
ReplyDeleteThe icing on the cake was my BFF who drove a few hours from further upstate. Faye stayed over one night. She came to my mother's with us, and I cannot explain how the miracles started rolling in. Faye has worked in hospice, and she made some very important suggestions.
It takes a village . . . thanks for an opportunity to share this.
Lovely, Denise Ann. I discovered for myself how many moments of grace and beauty emerge when a loved one is dying. I'm so glad you're having your "Snow globe moments." (What a great phrase!)
DeletePhrase is from “Loose Ends List” a YA novel by Carrie Firestone.
DeleteI am endlessly fascinated by the Hugo-Vidals and their amazing mother, our very own Julia. Youngest is wicked pissah - as they say here in Boston. She's finding her own way and more power to her.
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ReplyDeleteJulia, by now I feel like I've known all three of your kids while they were growing up. I'm so proud of them and you must just be bursting. (Tell the Sailor he looks smashing in a kilt!) And huge congrats to Youngest. It seems like just yesterday she was helping Ross hand out JRW bookmarks at Bouchercon. I know Ross would be enormously proud of them all, too.
ReplyDeleteMy lovely daughter turns thirty-five next week--I can't believe that, either!! I am so proud of who she's become as an adult. She's smart and funny and kind, a voracious reader, hard-working, very successful at her job (which is not at all what she thought it would be!) She married a great guy, and is the best mom to my little two-year-old granddaughter--the granddarling, I call her.
This weekend we are going to the Texas Hill Country to get together with family, so will be sharing a house on the lake with daughter, son-in-law, and the granddarling. My brother passed away in March, but my sister-in-law is coming all the way from Tasmania, where they lived, and my niece and nephew-in-law and their kids are coming from California. We're very excited to spend time together, and grateful that we can do it.
I'm so looking forward to that stage of life, Debs - getting together with kids, spouses, and grandkids. Still a few more years to go, I suspect. And we need to get a granddarling update on the blog!
DeleteOldest Grandchild graduated yesterday from the University of Oregon, having fought her way through a traumatic brain injury two years ago. Her parents, younger brother and sister, her grandfather from England, and I were all there to cheer her on.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful! That's a triumphant graduation!
DeleteCongratulations Julia, and thanks for sharing the triumphs; what a happy memory to treasure. could you explain the different colored robe your daughter wore over her gown?
ReplyDeleteYour children certainly give lie to the stereotype taciturn 'downeaster'. They shine like the stars they will become. Best wishes to all.
Coralee, the school colors are burgundy and white. Traditionally, the girls wore white and the boys maroon, but, as Youngest said, "They can't make us do that anymore." She chose burgundy, as she thought it would be more flattering, and wore a white jumpsuit underneath. I was pleased to see several boys switched it up by wearing white, as well!
DeleteJulia, your kids' are just what the world needs right now: strong, principled young people who aren't afraid to forge their own paths! You and Ross deserve major kudos!
ReplyDeleteWe're off in two weeks for the first wedding amongst our 14 nieces and nephews. It's very exciting and makes us feel very old. In the meantime, there have been graduations, driving tests, proms, band concerts galore--none in our neck of the woods, unfortunately. We'll see the hubby's side of the family at the wedding, and my side at our annual gathering in MA in late July. I'm trying to get lots of writing done now so I can really enjoy those trips!
Ingrid, I was just discussing weddings with a friend of mine, and we agreed: the most enjoyable ones are those of your nieces/nephews, godchildren and friend's kids. You're old enough so the expenses don't make you blanch, you're not worried about bringing a date or meeting someone, and best of all, you can dance without judgment in a crowd consisting of everyone from 2 to 92!
DeleteJulia, I am so inspired by you and your youngins. What an amazing crew you have, clearly there was some fantastic parenting happening to make them all so true to themselves. Well done and congratulations on all of the achievements big and small. The Hooligans are 15 and 17 so the jury is still out, but I'll keep you posted! LOL.
ReplyDeleteYou have some exciting times ahead, Jenn! :-)
DeleteThank you to all offering congratulations! It took me a while to get online - I'm actually at the University of Southern Maine library in Portland. My town was hit with severe thunderstorms and microbursts yesterday, knocking out our power since 4pm. One of the ancient maples in my yard dropped a limb as big as a tree right on the power lines - thankfully missing the neighbors' house and cars! The CMP crew had just finished cutting it off the line when I left for town. Fingers crossed the electricity will be restored when I get back. It was a hot night with no fans going!
ReplyDeleteWow, a plethora of excitement - doing Australia 's version of freezing as we approach the year's shortest day��
DeleteCongratulations to Youngest on her graduation, Julia! You and Ross raised your children to be such interesting individuals, to follow their hearts and minds and have their own opinions. I think you have such a cool family. I love hearing about the kids, and I always enjoy the Smithie's writings.
ReplyDeleteI have been to see my son today, and he is one of my favorite people to talk to, and that makes me very happy. It's like calling up Wiki when he starts talking about something. Today he was talking about Roman rulers and their foray, first and later into Britain. We also watch (the rare times he's in) the worst scary movies we can find on television and laugh together at them. My daughter is always inspiring me to be my best, as she takes such good care of herself and is such a wonderful mother. Mother/daughter lunches with her are a highlight for me. Of course, my grandgirls make my world go round for sure. Teenager sings beautifully and dances and does drama, giving me lots of performances to go to and enjoy. Younger, eight-year-old, is interested in everything and wants to do everything. She competes on the chess team, goes camping with her navigator group, does gymnastics, plays piano, and has a vocabulary that blow me away. Of course, she and older granddaughter love to read, so I'm in my happy place there.
Congratulations to the youngest on her graduation. I did not know who was running for Governor of Maine. Is it Cote for Governor? I am going to google this and try to find out more. You take wonderful photos. All of your kids are wonderful people.
ReplyDeleteWe have amazing kids in our family. The eldest "kid" is 30 and she is embarking on a musical career (third generation - her mom is a bluegrass / folk / country musician and her grandmother was a folk musician in local cafe society). The second eldest is embarking on a career as a teacher!
Diana
Deep respect goes the Maine Millennial, not only for her decision to stop drinking but for being so open about her decision. The Sailor is cooler than ever, that kilt is terrific. And Youngest? That girl is going to set the world on fire (in such a good way.)
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