This made me think that even though I've had three main characters in my writing life so far, none have been the middle child in their families. Cassie the golfer had one older brother whom she adored but did not see that much. Rebecca Butterman, my psychologist character, had a younger sister whom she also adored though she found her to be un-psychologically-minded. Now Halyey Snow has no siblings at all except for Rory her stepbrother. I’m kind of sad about the lack of siblings in my series, as I had a rich sibling life, if not always perfectly smooth. Makes me wonder why? And ps, Middle Child Day is August 12 and I for one plan to celebrate!
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| My siblings and I by John Lloyd |
HANK PHILIPPI RYAN: Well, hmm. I saw that! SO interesting. I don't notice it in other books, I guess. I do in mine--Charlie McNally is the older sister, (as I am) with the requisite bossy/ambitious/achiever/needy-of-praise-and-attention personality. Jane Ryland is the younger sister, who feels a bit second-tier, and is envious and annoyed with her as-previously-described older sister. And I definitely thought about birth order when I chose that! And in TRUST ME, Mercer Hennessey is an only child--to enhance her aloneness.
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| Lord Nelson and the Angels by pellethepoet |
INGRID THOFT: I’ve never thought about this, Lucy, but how interesting! Fina is the youngest of four, but I have three older sisters, and she has three older brothers. We are alike in that we are both problem-solvers and take issue with the stereotype that youngest children are spoiled and inept. Birth order was important, but the most important part of Fina’s family make-up was that she was one of many kids. Her siblings play a critical role in the series, and I really wanted to show the family dynamics that can emerge among siblings. The characters in my WIP run the gamut from youngest of two, and eldest of three, to only child. I wonder if I’ve written any of them to type? I’ll have to take a closer look!
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| Siblings by James Dennes |
JENN McKINLAY: I'm the youngest of six, and I am the textbook youngest. I am loud, willful, impulsive, and essentially "want what I want when I want it". As for my characters, (let's just go with the heroines and leave the heroes out of it) I have Melanie the youngest of two, Angie the youngest of eight, hmm, Lindsey, the youngest of two, Scarlett, an only child, Mackenzie, an only child, uh oh, Annie, youngest of two with a lot of step siblings, Jessie, an only child, and (EUREKA!), Carly, the fourth of five girls. There's a middle child! And yet, not an oldest anywhere to be found. Huh. Very interesting, Lucy! Excuse me, while I go ponder this.
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| Triple trouble by pellethepoet |
RHYS BOWEN: I'm a typical eldest child: over-achiever, wants to please. Actually I'm more like an only child as my brother was seven years younger than me, so always a little brat rather than a rival or companion. We get along beautifully now! Molly Murphy has three younger brothers so had to raise when her mother died. They figure occasionally in the stories. Lady Georgie has an older half-brother, but I don't think she behaves like a second child, as he is much older. She is more like an only child. Constable Evans was an only child. What all of these have in common is that irrespective of birth order they are all on their own in the world without family support to rely on. It is only Pamela, one of the daughters in In Farleigh Field, who has the benefit of a family around her. And she is a middle child with two sisters above and two below. But it is the sister below her, Dido, who actually behaves like the middle child. Pamela is the sensible one!
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I am an oldest child, was married to an oldest child, and have most of the typical traits associated with my spot in the family pantheon. My younger sister is the classic middle child (I sent her that article, Lucy!): always out there hustling. She is the communications hub of the family. Our brother Patrick is a true youngest child crossed with The Only Boy: a laid-back, easygoing, affectionate guy who basks in the knowledge that he's pretty much always adored.
My two main characters are oldest children, which I thought was a well-considered decision to make them the type of hyper-responsible people they are. However, seeing how closely many of our characters track our own birth order, I'm starting to wonder! My secondary hero and heroine are different: always-eager-to-please Kevin Flynn is the smack-dab middle of five boys, while loner Hadley Knox is, you guessed it, an only child.
DEBORAH CROMBIE: Lucy, I have thought about this a good bit. I am the youngest of two, but my brother was almost ten years older so I was in many ways an only child. Duncan is the older of two, and Gemma is the younger of two, both sisters. Did I always want a sister? Duncan has the assurance of an eldest child, while Gemma, growing up in the shadow of her critical, bossy sister, compensates by being very driven. Melody and Doug, their friends and sergeants, are both onlys. I do find I have trouble writing characters who come from really large families, partly because it's so outside my experience, and partly because it really complicates the plot! I LOVE reading about big families, however.
Lucy: Debs, yes I wondered about that--if my lower sibling count has to do with how difficult it would be to keep juggling all those people!
HALLIE EPHRON: I grew up, third of four sisters, with the bossiest, most overachieving oldest sister anyone could have. I've always admired LITTLE WOMEN, because Alcott managed to bring FOUR sisters to the pages of that novel and not confuse the reader, and because Jo is a middle child.
The relationship I most often mirror in my books are between a main character and her sister. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW, DEAR is all about an older sister who, in her forties, gets a chance to find the baby sister she lost when she was seven. Come to think of it, COME AND FIND ME is about a missing sister, too. Hmm.
Here's me (on the left). My sisters Delia and Amy are both focused on Nora (far right), and there's me at the other end, looking at the photographer.
LUCY: Reds, do your characters match your life? Readers, is birth order something you notice in a book?
Jean and I are the oldest; our other sister is nine years younger, our brother, twelve years younger.
ReplyDeleteEven though all the Reds ladies sound as if birth order is important in the development of your characters, I must admit that I have never really noticed it when I’m reading a book . . . .
Joan, what an interesting family structure you had. I bet you were a big help with the younger kids...
DeleteI honestly don't think I've paid attention to birth order and the stereotypical traits that go with them.
ReplyDeleteMyself, I'm an older child. I just have one brother, and he's seven years younger than I am, so with that gap some would say we are more only children. Personally, I don't think our personalities are that similar, so there goes the stereotype, right? Of course, I usually over analyze things like this, so I'm not the most reliable person to ask on any of these personality tests.
Mark, I do think a big age gap can lead to more "only child" traits. The experience each has at home and with parents can be so different.
DeleteI tend not to notice birth order in a book, unless it's something the author stresses as important to the plot. Interesting notion about middle children becoming more rare though. I never really thought about it.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought about it either Marla, until I read that article.
DeleteHuh. I'm third of four, with two older sisters and one younger brother. My protagonists? One or zero siblings. Which never seemed like a pattern until right now! Must give it more thought.
ReplyDeleteWatching my grandchildren, granddaughter 5, grandson 2, I definitely see the older/younger dynamic at work. Yes, the 'middle' is fading. Too bad because I've always found being in the middle enables you to disappear. Being an observer, a watcher, is a great talent for a writer.
ReplyDeleteMiddle child (3rd of 4) checking in! I was shy and quiet, only wishing to be left alone to read my book--exactly what Hallie notes about disappearing and observing. This is why I know all the family stories, because I wasn't talking, I was listening. (Clearly, I have changed.) My family is textbook: bossy oldest, willful youngest, but--dare I say it?--the two hardworking middles are the achievers.
ReplyDeleteI do notice in books if a character is an oldest or youngest child. I seem to read a lot of stories with a trio of sisters, so the dynamic sticks out.
I was a watcher and reader too, but I also played with dolls for hours and hours. I'm pretty sure that was getting me ready to write:)
DeleteRamona, my hardworking middle sister is definitely the achiever in our family, so I say your observation bears out!
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DeleteIn my family, while all 4 were big readers, only #2 and #3 (me) finished college and graduate degrees. Curious...
DeleteI don't necessarily notice birth order in books unless a special point of it is made but I always notice it in life. I'm the eldest of 3 and both husbands were the eldest in their families. Not that I went looking for that. I think! In a YA book I wrote my main character was an only but her 2 best friends were twins (born on different days); I am fascinated with twins.
ReplyDeleteAt one time I had 2 cats and then a kitten came to live with us. My second cat seemed to have a lot of trouble with the situation. I talked to the vet and he said maybe she needed some extra attention. Middle kitty syndrome I asked him. He agreed it was a possibility.
I'm an only child and so is Audrey Nealon, the protagonist of my Estate Sale mystery series. Both Audrey and I are fascinated by large families and sibling relationships. Audrey's love, Sean Coughlin, is a middle child of five, and his oldest brother is a classic oldest. As a teacher, I see birth oder playing out in the classroom all the time. I think I can predict with 75% accuracy the birth position of every kid in my class. Sometimes I'll freak a kid out by suddenly asking, "Are you the youngest in your family? Do you have a couple of older sisters?" His eyes get big. "Yeah...how did you know that?" Hmmm--because you come late every day with no book and no pen and sit there waiting for someone to come to your rescue, that's how!
ReplyDeleteThat's interesting. Ages ago I worked with an attorney who was the youngest of three sisters, followed by the baby of the family who was the only son. The sisters called their brother The Prince, but they didn't rush to serve his every whim. They were all very competitive women, but united in their drive to make sure The Prince had to hustle to keep up with them and work to prove his worth. Their father was an attorney, then a judge, and all four went into law, back in the days when it was expected of the boy, but groundbreaking for the girls. I should probably google them to see how they all turned out.
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DeleteI saw that article, too. There are only two siblings in my family. My sister was very much the older child, always working to follow the rules and please the adults. I, apparently, was pretty much myself from a very early age--not the pretty, spoiled baby of the family, but a stubborn, determined little soul who wanted to do everything as well as my sister did, and often wishing the rest of the family would go away and let me get on with it. That may explain why I now live more than 500 miles away from them all.
ReplyDeleteI admire writers who can balance a lot of close relatives in their stories. I think Jenn's portrayal of Angie's family is so much a part of the fun in the cupcake books that I almost don't care about the mystery. (By the way, I recommended that series to a friend who needed a laugh, and she's gobbling them up!) I also love Ingrid's detailed portrait of family dynamics in the Fina books. It makes Fina a much more complex character to have to navigate all of that--sometimes going into a situation with backup, sometimes going alone, and sometimes fighting the family tide. It makes me love her all the more.
Thanks, Gigi! That was one of the cornerstones of the character when I created Fina: I wanted to write a strong, independent woman who had to navigate the complexities of her family of origin. Family ties are so complicated. They make for great stories!
DeleteThanks, Gigi! That's lovely of you to say. Yes, the DeLaura family is my idealized version of life as the youngest.
DeleteMy darling grandson, two of them, are completely the examples of older/ younger at least. The younger one watches with the older one does, the older one generally behaves as if the younger one does not exist. And of course as families grow, the younger one could become the middle child… What happens then?
ReplyDeleteI don't necessarily notice birth order in books, but I do especially appreciate books where the protagonist has a strong family connection. I love reading about large families.
ReplyDeleteI am the youngest of four, but I am 11 years younger than the youngest of them, so in many ways I grew up feeling more like an only child. My sister and I became close in adulthood, but I have always said my relationship with my brothers is closer to other people's relationships with their cousins -- someone you've known your whole life and care about, but don't have that shared history of day-to-day living.
My husband is the eldest of eight children, and I have found it fascinating that his real family functions pretty much like the large families I have enjoyed in books. There's always some kind of drama somewhere; when a group of them get together it's an instant party; and with so many people, there's always room for one more.
That's my mom's family to a T, Susan. She had eight siblings, they were all close, and we were with them at least once a week. I grew up hearing the sisters, brothers, and in-laws laughing and cracking jokes together. And my mom on the phone with her sisters, analyzing the latest family drama. (Our family was usually the star.)
DeleteI have a close friend who is one of NINE and it's interesting to see how they categorize themselves so that everyone has a bit of a spotlight. There's the oldest and youngest, of course, but also oldest boy and youngest girl and the twins. They group themselves into the oldest kids, the next-oldest, the first youngest and the youngest, creating four mini-family order relationships between the siblings in each group.
DeleteAs a comment about changing family sizes, although all nine siblings are close to each other and their mother, none of them have more than two children, and several have onlies.
Julia, my sister-in-law has eight children (seven boys, one girl). They all get along beautifully and the older kids have always been second parents to the youngest. Also the parenting style was so relaxed. They just did their own thing.. Running around outside in winter with no shoes on etc when my kids were bundled up.
DeleteThis is quite interesting - in fact, I've always been interesting the 'birth order' psychology (would you call it that?). I'm an oldest child - younger sister by 6 years, younger brother by 8 years. All of us were adopted. I was very much the older sibling and cast into that role by my mother at all times. Lots of help required. I married an oldest child, but his sister and brother are much closer to his age. His Mom had 3 kids in 4 years. So, he grew up at the age of 2, according to him. We had an only child. Didn't mean to - just happened that way. And she married a guy who is the 2nd child, but functions as the oldest in terms of family responsibility. One thing was that it took our daughter quite a while to figure out sibling dynamics. She'd never had any and our son-in-law's brothers and sister are quite prone to arguing, etc.
ReplyDeleteAs to reading, I think I do take note of birth order and family dynamics. Maybe unconsciously, but still...and it's curious how that may or may not have worked a way into all of your books. I bet I'll notice more in the future. Great topic, Lucy!
thanks Kay! You have an interesting family set-up--I wonder if adoptions changed anything about the sibling dynamics? And also interesting that it took your daughter a while to figure out sibling dynamics--totally makes sense!
DeleteJenn youngest of six!! Julia I love your little brother. Hallie I can’t imagine living the family dynamic in the spotlight as you have!
ReplyDeleteI’m the oldest of five although my two brothers died young so we are three sisters. I just spent a week with my next oldest sister and her wife who is like another sister. I am endlessly fascinated by sibling dynamics.
My brother Pat was ridiculously cute as a child. He still has that devastating dimple.
DeleteI never write about adult sibling dynamics. My characters exist in their nuclear families (parents and children). I'll have to reread the article and spend the rest of the week wondering why.
ReplyDeleteYes something to think about!
DeleteHum, I am the youngest of two, but my older brother is nine years older so each of us was essentially only children. All of my main characters are only children as well. As Debs commented, I'm not sure how larger family dynamics work - but I do enjoy reading about them!
ReplyDeleteI am an only child, and I haven't the foggiest what it means to have a sibling, but I wish I did, have one that is. My daughter is the epitome of the middle child, as is Julie, my partner. They are the communicators, the peacemakers, and family glue. My grandchildren come in batches of two, one and three. In the latter litter, Connor, the middle child, is far the most laid back and easy going, affectionate. Sibling relationships are fascination tho. I see the same thing in kitten and puppy litters, always one dominant personality, always one whose the baby, and the rest just get on with it.
ReplyDeleteInteresting.
This is fascinating, and has made me think differently about myself this morning.
ReplyDeleteI'm an oldest, of four, but we have a huge extended family, and there I'm an older middle. We spent so much time with cousins when we were kids, always getting bossed around by them. In some ways I'm a classic oldest child, but I can see the influence of my cousins, too.
Is it interesting that both my husbands, ex and current, are the youngest in their families?
Something I have never thought about before, but the protagonist in the novel I've struggled with for the last three years is a younger sister. Hmm.
Hallie, you are so recognizable in that photo!
yes she is--she's checking the whole world out!
DeleteMy older daughter is a master class in birth order dynamics, all by herself.
ReplyDeleteShe is the only child her dad and I had; we divorced when she was three. I remarried and had two more daughters, so in that family unit she is the eldest. She is also the only, in regards to her dad, who never had another child of his own.
However, her dad remarried twice, both times to women who already had children. So my daughter got to be both an oldest (second wife, when DD was three), and middle, when her dad married a woman with three kids, one older than DD. All this happened before she was a freshman in high school, and she lived with her dad much of that time.
My daughter married an only child (whose mother was an only child), and now they are raising an only child. It's amazing to observe.
I am the oldest of four, and yes, I think I'm a stereotypical oldest child. An overdeveloped sense of responsibility coupled with the need to be perfect and in control (it does not help that these are also traits of the Virgo, my sign). My husband is a middle - sometimes he fits that description, sometimes not.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought about my characters, but...Jim Duncan is the oldest of two. And yes, he's definitely has the "responsibility, in charge" traits down. He's a cop, what can I say? And Sally Castle is the youngest of three - determined to be right, headstrong, stubborn to a fault, and (while she wouldn't admit it) prone to getting her way. Sounds close to a youngest to me.
Mary/Liz
I read the article on birth order as well. And, now that I've thought about it, I don't pay much attention to the concept when I read unless it is a focal point of the plot. I do notice the effects of birth order in some of my friends though. It leads me to wonder if we ever escape our beginnings.
ReplyDeleteLyda, that is a good question! Hmmm...
DeleteLyda, is we all escaped our beginnings, novelists would have a lot less material to work with!
DeleteHow true!! Dysfunction is the writer's fodder.
DeleteA psychiatrist who was my boss on an adolescent inpatient unit insisted that people could change 10% but that was it--no matter how much therapy they underwent. I'm not convinced of that number, but we am what we am in some ways, as Pop-eye once said!
DeleteI love hearing about everyone's families. A mini-novel today, lol! My husband is the oldest of five, and boy, is he bossy. And always right about everything, of course. My sister-in-law, only girl and second born, is the manager/communicator in the family. I'd never really thought about that before.
ReplyDeleteLucy, the diminishing family is sad, isn't it? My daughter is an only, my niece is an only. My daughter and son-in-law say that my granddaughter will be an only, and most of their friends don't seem to be having second or third children.
ReplyDeletewho knows, maybe the pendulum will swing back in the future? Lots of our daughter's friends are having 2, but that's it.
DeleteI don't know, Debs. A friend calls over-population the elephant in the room with climate change. Maybe it's for the best.
DeleteI am the second oldest in our family of 5 kids, and the oldest girl. I got the responsibility gene and I hate it. My husband is the oldest of 3 boys and he also got the responsibility gene. My big bro is 3 years older than me. There is a six year gap and the rest of the crew came in three year intervals. My brother and I were close as kids, also fierce rivals. He used to play the entitled card a lot, as a boy and as the oldest. I HATED that! I don't pay much attention to birth order in stories unless the actions make it blatantly obvious. As in a big brother who thinks he is the prince of the universe. My sibs and I get along fine as adults and no one tries to run the show.
ReplyDeleteglad that worked out in the end Pat!
DeleteDeborah Crombie,
ReplyDeleteI have the same profile as you, youngest/ only. My only sibling was born 12 years before me. So we had very different childhoods as our parents had changed a lot by the time I was born. As far as characters' siblings, I have not had them play much of a role so far. In The Reluctant Fortune-Teller, the relationships are more like "chosen families," people who come together by choice for support and love. Interesting to think about!
Keziah, I find that I write about "chosen" families a lot, too. Now that is interesting, isn't it?
DeleteI have a lot of chosen families too, but also stepfamilies, which is true in my real life too.
DeleteAnd this was not really in my conscious awareness until this article!
DeleteI read that article, too. I'm the oldest of five, and I can't imagine having only one sibling. And defying the stereotype, I am the quietest, most bookish of them all. I have never wanted the limelight, and am comfortable not being noticed. I always hung around with "the grownups" at family gatherings, and I know more of the family stories than my younger siblings, although we don't necessarily know all the same stories. In school I was the shy girl who never spoke up. I'm still pretty shy but now I think of it as one of my best traits, as it has turned me into an excellent listener. Child number two tended to be bossy. Child number three, the only boy, was not at all spoiled, as one might expect for an only boy in a large family. (His sisters wouldn't let him be spoiled:-) Number four was our brother's best friend growing up. They're very close in age and were inseparable. My mom used to say it made her nervous to see the two of them off in a corner, giggling, and then looking away when they caught her eye. And then we come to number five: outgoing, "let's party" kind of person, always acting before thinking, impetuous, getting away with things that her elder siblings would never have dreamed of, spoiled! (We sometimes jokingly referred to her as "Miss Social Butterfly!")
ReplyDeleteActually, child number two and I used to complain to our parents that the younger three had fewer "house rules" to obey. We always referred to them as " the little kids" and we felt as though we were much older, although the five of us were born within seven and a half years.
I never really liked being the oldest and in my fantasies, I was right in the middle of a ten or twelve child family!
And when I'm reading I never notice the birth order of the characters.
DebRo
Such an interesting family DebRo! It's so true that kids separated by lots of years come into a very different family...
DeleteSuch a great post, Lucy. Birth order is so interesting. The Hooligans are so close in age that I don't really see an older/younger dynamic there. In fact, H2 is definitely more of a bossy type while H1 is mellower. Huh. Although, H1 has become the more responsible of the two, which was not always the case when they were younger.
ReplyDeleteMy dad's oldest sister was 18 and in college when he was born. She thought he was wonderful. Aunt Mary, 10 years older, had to bribe him to stop bugging her boyfriends and her. It was like they lived in different families. My mom was about 2 years older than her sister, and I was 2 years older than my brother. Mom and I was shy book readers, and Aunt Fritz and Bob were social and outgoing. They needed someone to play with, which annoyed us readers sometimes. Bob was more of a leader than I was.
ReplyDeleteI'm a middle child & only notice birth order in books if it's 3 girls, since that fits my family.
ReplyDeleteComing in really late today. After reading today's post, I'm going to be paying more attention to the character's place in his/her family, and how large that family is. Or, at least I will for a while. I can certainly see where too large a family for a character could complicate things.
ReplyDeleteI am the blessed youngest child of my family, adored as cute by my older sisters' friends. But, it was almost like two sets of kids. My older sister was ten years older and my next-to-older sister was eight years older. My brother was only three years older, so it was kind of like there were my two sisters and then there was my brother and me. But, being the youngest wasn't the dream position always depicted. I was also the last chance for my mother wanting an academic child who made perfect grades and did all that was expected, participating in and winning awards. The oldest daughter was quite a beauty, and she was adored for that, although she was also a great little mother to the rest of us. The second daughter was way less social than any of the rest of us and lived in the shadow of the oldest. My brother was the athlete, although he did well in school, too, and as the only boy, he was the prince.