Perchance to Dream

RHYS BOWEN: I have just planned out the watering system for the new plantings on my hillside, thought up the next plot twist for the book I am writing, gone through my finances and planned menus for the guests who are visiting next week. A good morning’s work, you might say, except that I did all this at 2:30 am when I couldn’t sleep.

Like many of you, I expect, I find it hard to sleep when I am busy—either in the middle of writing a book or about to set off on a book tour, or both, as happened last month. I can fall asleep because I am really tired, but then I wake a couple of hours later with so many competing thoughts flying around my head. I have yet to find a way to still this teeming brain. My doctor has prescribed Ambien and it works well, but I try to stay away from drugs and only use it when I know I really need a good night’s sleep, like a big meeting or interview the next morning, or on my first night in another time zone.  I sometimes resort to Advil PM but that often makes me feel sluggish in the mornings—and again I don’t want to come to rely on drugs.
I have tried all the herbal supplements but again the ones that are most effective –valerian and melatonin—make me feel dopey. I’ve tried the sleep CDs… you know, the calm voice saying “Empty your mind of annoying thoughts.”  Great idea but the annoying thoughts cling on for dear life and won’t go. My son swears by meditation but for me this goes like: Ahh, I’m on a lovely beach, the waves lapping at my toes. I’m breathing deeply and –DAMN! She couldn’t have seen the murderer because he was behind the stairs!!!
So dear friends: any suggestions that actually work? And brilliant mattresses that enable deep slumber?

LUCY BURDETTE: So sorry Rhys, no brilliant thoughts about what works! Though I too am in the market for a mattress so suggestions welcome. As a teen and twenties person, I was a brilliant sleeper. Probably back then I could have functioned on less, so it doesn't seem quite fair. Meanwhile, all the articles about how sleep staves off Alzheimer's only makes the prospect of rest even more dim!

HALLIE EPHRON: I was encouraged to discover when I was researching sleep science (one of the main characters in "You'll Never Know Dear" is a psychologist who studies sleep) that it's normal for people to sleep for the first for four hours, then wake for one or two hours before falling into a second four-hour sleep. Apparently it's a myth that a 'good night's sleep' is 8 uninterrupted hours.

Most nights, I'm awake in the middle of the night. I tell myself it's normal and use the time to think through a problem I was working on the day before. Or I have games I play with numbers (too complicated to explain, but a stress free way of occupying my brain).

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I am a good sleeper, and can fall asleep anywhere any time. Except--when I can't. If I am trying to put myself to sleep, I imagine I am someplace else, and I meet someone, and I say this, and the person says that, and I imagine this scene. Not from a book, but as if I'm in it. (Does that sound weird?) So, Rhys, I say yes, go ahead with your scenes, but instead of doing it for the book, just let your mind go into someplace else. As if you're in a movie or a play. I cannot empty my mind--it only makes me start thinking: empty your mind empty your mind--until my mind is full of that. Or you can watch a movie in your head. That works, too.
And I think  a big key is not to worry--don't fill your mind with how much you NEED to sleep!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I've been dealing with sleep issues for some time. I have bursitis in both hips - I know it sounds like the ultimate little old lady ailment, but what it means is that the bursae, the little sacs of liquid that cushion the bones, tendons and muscles in our joints, become inflamed.  For me, it means that when I lie down after a normal day's activities, my hips ache. I can stay in one position of a while, and then the pain will wake me up and I have to shift.

My sleeping techniques? Of course, use good sleep hygiene. Dark room, quiet, don't use your bed for anything other than sleep, sex and a little nighttime reading. Regular pre-bedtime routine, regular hours. (Which I expect to be able to keep better now I no longer have a high-schooler who needs late-night transportation or homework help!) I love my black-out eye mask in soft velvet. You can get ones just like it on Amazon. And my empty-your-head trick - don't laugh - I do sums! I am SO bad at mental math, I have to focus so deeply I can't swerve off into things I'm worried about. I'l pick a problem like, "How many days since The Sailor graduated from basic?" Once I start to multiply 365 times 2, I fall asleep like a shot.

Rhys, have you tried keeping a notebook on your bedside table? Maybe if your mind knows it doesn't have to REMEMBER the clever ideas it comes up with during your sleep, you can drop off quickly after jotting a sentence or two down.

INGRID THOFT: In general, I excel at sleeping.  There are occasional nights or circumstances when my natural sleep talent fails me, but in general, I sleep well.  The thing I’m less thrilled about is that I need a lot of sleep.  Nine hours is great, but I can go longer given the chance.  New parents and other people who survive on six hours a night or less?  I can’t even imagine.  I follow the usual sleep guidelines: no screens in the bedroom, a melatonin and the occasional Zyquil, reading to get drowsy, and occasionally earplugs to block out the city sounds.  I also keep a notebook on my bedside table and write down the random thoughts that inhibit snoozing.

JENN McKINLAY: I am not a big sleeper, so if I clock in a solid six hours I wake up raring to go. I think because I sleep less than "normal", when I do sleep, I sleep hard. I can sleep anywhere in any sort of chair, couch, bed, plane, train, car, you name it. When I close my eyes - boom - I'm out. Also, I don't dream, at least, none that I remember.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Rhys and Lucy, we replaced our mattress a couple of years ago (don't even want to admit how old the previous mattress was!) and it's made a big difference. I did a lot of research, too. We bought a Sealy Posturepedic firm mattress with a Euro pillow top and it has been fabulous. I highly recommend going somewhere with a big selection and trying out different brands and types. (Julia, the Euro pillow top works wonders for achy body parts.)

I was thrilled when I read the same sleep study that Hallie mentioned. It takes the pressure off, knowing that it's actually normal to wake in the middle of the night. I have a secret weapon in the getting back to sleep battle, however. I have a chaise longue in my office, across the hall from the bedroom, so when I wake up around four or five in the morning, I grab my pillows and curl up on the chaise under a favorite quilt or down comforter. Usually I can go right back to sleep, while if I stay in bed I will likely be wide-eyed for hours.

Jenn, now we know how you can write so many books--you don't sleep! Unfortunately for me, I need a good eight hours to be sharp and focused enough to write. And a twenty minute afternoon nap works wonders for a late afternoon writing sprint.

RHYS: Julia, I do keep the notebook beside the bed.  Jenn, I can't believe you don't dream. My sleep hours are full of vivid, and sometimes alarming, dreams. And Debs, a new mattress is on the cards for us too. We tried the Sleep Number, which was very nice but balked at the $9000 price (on sale!) I'm now considering the Dreamcloud I see on Facebook. Has anyone tried that?
And dear readers: does anyone have a magic charm for falling asleep and staying asleep?