My Special Place

RHYS BOWEN: I'm sure you've all found the past weeks as stressful as I have: spiteful, hateful political ads, voter fraud and intimidation, then the shooting in Thousand Oaks, a community that seems like the epitome of the American dream--elegant homes amid rolling hills, and those same hills being devastated by fire.

If I didn't have children and grandchildren in this country I'd seriously be thinking about moving somewhere else . The question would be where could I go? And would I want to uproot at this stage of my life? So what I have been doing is creating a fantasy escape in my mind.

I'm picturing that little English village (just like the ones Debs is now visiting). There are thatched cottages and an old stone church with a tower where bells ring every Sunday. There is a pub,  where there is a welcoming fire in winter and everybody knows everyone else.

There are flowers in gardens and horses and cows in fields and a village green where there is a cricket match every Sunday all summer. And I'd come out of my cottage, with roses climbing around the front door, put my basket on my arm and walk into the village to buy fresh bread at the baker's. And chat to other people along the way.

Doesn't that sound delightfully perfect? 

In moments of severe stress I also have another picture in my mind: a walk I did up to the Matterhorn in Switzerland. It is May and I'm walking through a carpet of flowers. The air is fresh and scented. There is the gentle sound of bells around the necks of cows in the meadow. I pass a little hut, come around the bend in the path and there is the mountain ahead of me, gleaming unbelievably white. And I just stand and stare and breathe.  I recall that image now when I need to breathe and be calm.

How about you? Do you have a place to escape to in your mind?

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Rhys, it sounds like a Mary Pilcher novel! I love her books, which have people experiencing genteel tragedy and triumph in the most luscious domestic settings possible. I can't remember the plots, but i can still recall the description of the "fragrant David Austin roses gathered in a shining silver bowl." The bowl was on a table well-polished with beeswax, natch.

I love your country destination, but after decades of Maine winters, my fantasy location is somewhere warmer.  If I had my druthers, I'd head for New Zealand. Beautiful landscape of mountains and seas, friendly English speaking people, rich history and culture dating back thousands of years, and it's home to a liberal Anglican church. Plus that adorable accent! I swear any man sounds sexier when speaking in a Aussie or Kiwi voice.

HALLIE EPHRON: In moments of stress, I "take a walk" in the neighborhood I grew up in, go 'shopping' in the department store I could walk to, imagine floating in the ocean at one of the beautiful (hopefully still) beaches new San Juan in Puerto Rico. I also look at photo albums -- images of my children and grandchildren are enormously comforting. And I'm not going anywhere... I plan to be here to vote in 2020.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Julia, there's a description of fragrant, climbing David Austin roses in the opening chapter of my new book! Maybe I need to add the beeswax...

Hallie, I look at photos of my granddaughter, too. And of my dogs and cats and my garden. Having just been to some of Rhys's idyllic English villages, I definitely see the appeal in that, and will probably spend a good bit of the next few months re-imagining my time there. I think about the Scottish Highlands, too. But my biggest stress-relieving fantasy place is almost always London. I know that seems a little contradictory, this huge, bustling city that certainly has its own share of problems, but I think I am never happier than when I'm just walking in London, and that's a nice thing to hold on to.

LUCY BURDETTE: And add the horrific California fires to the list of our stressors! After looking at your photos of the Cotswolds, that place sure appeals to me Debs. And I love Paris the way you love London. But just taking a walk through the back streets of Key West helps, as does walking along the beach in Connecticut. I lost my best stress relievers this year--Tonka and Yoda. We are sorting out whether to get a replacement, and if so, what. King George (Jenn's little rescue kitten) is a very good role model.

And ps, tempting as it might be to move, I'm here for the long run too!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  Moving. Hm. You know? No. In moments of stress--which is like, always--okay, well let's put it this way. When I need to relax, I think about the pelicans on Nevis. We sit on the beach white white sand, not a person for miles. And the pelicans one two, three at a time, skim over the water, incredibly close, in two inches it seems, they'd hit. And they're fast. And then in an instant they go really high, then plummet into the water. Boom. And two seconds later, come up with a fish, gap it, then float on the surface. And every time they shimmy their little tail feathers. I could watch that for hours, and I can see it, vividly,  in my imagination. It calms me every time.  I'm seeing a lot of pelicans these days.

JENN McKINLAY: In times of stress, I go to the cosmos. I know, I'm a weirdo. When the Hooligans were little, we took them to the San Diego Space and Air Museum. They were having a special extraterrestrial exhibit - so fun with 8 and 9 yr old boys - and I bought a coffee table book of photographs from the Hubble Telescope. Whenever I am stressed by the world of humans, I look to the stars in that book. They are so bright and beautiful and a bajillion years old. I am fascinated while being reminded that human beings really aren't much more than cosmic dust, here for fleeting moments in the universe, and while it's important to live your best life, the things that we consider problems or tragedies aren't even a blip to the ever expanding cosmos surrounding us. I find great comfort in that.

RHYS: We have to confess that when Jenn started mentioning the cosmos we thought it was the drink (Cosmopolitans, you know?). And we all agreed they are quite good stress-relievers too!.

I think I'm lucky in that I find the Arizona desert is a great stress-buster, and also the walk we always take by the creek in California is pretty special too.


How about you, dear friends. How do you find peace in your hearts in stressful times?