Are You Moved Yet?

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: We Reds have been chatting amongst ourselves about moving these past few weeks because Rhys and John have recently bought a house in Arizona and have been going through all the attending pains (while Rhys is, if I recall correctly, working to finish five books. I may be wrong about the number, but it's still something insane.)

It's been making me think about my own housing situation and plans. When Ross died, lots of people asked me if I was going to sell our 200 year old house out in the country. Truthfully, the two of us had discussed it in the context of growing old together - should we move closer in to Portland, where we wouldn't have to worry about driving everywhere? Should we plan on certain renovations to the old house, to enable us to "age in place?" Or should we take a lesson from Lucy and her husband John, and winter in glorious Key West? (Ross REALLY liked that third option.)

Once widowed, I decided to NOT make any plans for a while. I committed to staying in place during Youngest's undergraduate years, giving her the chance to come back home every summer and every holiday if she wanted. But there's another aspect to my decision - I HATE the idea of moving. Not "leaving my home" - the whole process of moving.

In the past four years, I've helped at least two friends sort, toss, pack and clean houses to ready for the big move. I dog-sat another friend's pup for almost two months when a job change required her to move asap, and Ross and I hosted friends for a few weeks when their house sold SO fast, they didn't have a replacement selected to move into!

Then there's the period before putting you old house on the market. Your real estate agent will tell you every flaw you've lived with for 10, 20, 30 years has to be fixed. You'll patch, paint, hire an electrician and a carpenter, and then, just when everything is perfect... it's time to list the house. Where's the sense in that?

If you're in the early years of expanding your space and your family, you'll find yourself in a larger home with one sofa and two chairs that look like doll furniture in your new living room. At the opposite end, when you're empty nesters downsizing, you have to figure out how to get rid of the accumulation of twenty-five or thirty years of child-rearing. (I admit, there can be an upside to this - when my parents downsized to a couples-friendly condo, my mom got rid of almost every piece of "kids-can't-wreck-this" furniture, and bought herself beautiful new pieces for every room in the new place. Which had pale fawn wall-to-wall carpeting. Talk about NOT kid-proof!)

The more I think about the sheer grunt work involved in moving, the more staying put begins to appeal. What say you, Reds?

LUCY BURDETTE: You get no argument from me--moving is a beast! When John and I married and I sold my little single girl cottage, it took weeks and weeks of carting stuff in our cars. And more weeks of borrowing a van and trundling a lot more junk to the Salvation Army and Goodwill. 

Our last move was a lot closer, but ditto all the stuff. Plus the moving van fell into the hole where the natural gas tank had just been placed. And then I was depressed for a year--even though the new place was glorious. John's explanation for this was that I have a deep taproot. Moving disturbs the root, no matter how careful you are....






HALLIE EPHRON: My tap root must go all the way to China. I moved into this house 40+ years ago from a 2-bedroom apartment and we're still here. I dream about moving and I'm always miserable. I miss my kitchen linoleum. Right now it's nice having a place that's big enough to accommodate visiting kids and grandkids, not to mention Jungle Reds on book tour. Having said that, if I couldn't afford to have a wonderful house cleaner (she comes every other week) I'd be much more likely to move to smaller quarters.



RHYS BOWEN: the crazy moving lady chiming in. Darling Red sisters, remind me never to move again. We decided that our condo was too small for guests, too small for us both to have work space, and we did not like the way the current management company was running things. 

So we have bought a house. This should not be a huge, stressful move. It's 2 miles and only our winter home in Arizona, not like 40 years in our big house in California with accumulated junk. But it seems we've been carrying across boxes for weeks. There was a major electrical glitch ad we're waiting for the main box to be replaced. The closet doors wouldn't close over the washer and dryer so a man is coming to rebuild the closet. And we are currently like squatters with our two arm chairs, no kitchen stuff, using up food for meals and hoping Ito schedule the movers soon.  And writing to deadline. 

So if you ever hear me say move again, you are to restrain me!



DEBORAH CROMBIE: Rhys, I'm sure it will all be worth it, but, oh, what a pain. We've been in our house twenty-three years and I cannot even contemplate the horror of moving--although there are days when I'm freezing or roasting in this old house that I'm a little tempted. If I could do it by magic!! Just out of this house one day and everything all organized in a new house the next! Ha. But my taproot is deep, too. I love our house, I love our neighborhood, and I don't really want to live anywhere else. 

I suppose downsizing would be nice--everybody is supposed to want to downsize, aren't they?--but we actually use all of our space. I don't want to give up a guest room (Wren's room when she stays over now) and we both have home offices. Not sharing office space with the hub, just not. So for the moment, I'm just working on decluttering.



JENN McKINLAY: Hub and I are still in our starter home -- bought 20 years ago next month. It's a small, three bedroom, two bathroom brick bread box with a big backyard and a pool. We think about moving and then do nothing. We can not seem to get it together enough to relocate. Maybe when the hooligans leave, maybe not. We are a lazy people and I like my neighborhood and my neighbors ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so here I stay.


 

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I love our house so much sometimes I worry that it's a problem.  It's too big for us, but it's...perfect. My best move ever was from Atlanta to Boston in 1983. My new employer paid for the whole move. I didn't do one thing, except open the door.  When I arrived in Boston, everything was already put into my apartment. I DID have to unpack some of the boxes, where I found carefully and individually wrapped open ketchup bottles, old newspapers, and half-empty cereal boxes. But ,whatever.  SO I am never going to move gain unless someone else does for me. 




JULIA: What about you, dear readers? Are you game for a move? Or are you staying put till they carry you out? Share your moving stories in the comments!