I’m sure you were all aware that
before Christmas there was a big hoo ha over the song Baby It’s Cold Outside.
It was banned by many radio stations. It’s a song I’ve heard all my life and
never given much thought to before. This time I listened to the words and of
course it is an attempted seduction. It the light of the Me To movement I can
see that it might, possibly offend.
However…I’d like to point out that whether
she stays or not is entirely up to her. He is persuading, not forcing. She has
the chance to say NO. And frankly I assume that every male has tried the same persuasion
on every female since the beginning of time. She did, after all, go over to his
house in a snow storm!
And if you want to be offended by
song lyrics, listen to the words of some rap numbers. When we were in Cancun
once a disco across the street was blaring out music all day and what I was
hearing certainly raised my eyebrows. Violence to women, degrading of women,
language that would make your hair curl. And I don’t see a big fuss over these
songs.
It seems as if the desire not to
offend is going to ridiculous lengths. I heard that there is a movement to get
the song WHITE CHRISTMAS banned, but it suggests that Christmas is not
inclusive! Come on. The white in the song refers to snow! The movie is about a
ski resort with no snow. And snow, as far as I know, is not multi-colored.
And the most ridiculous of all:
the animal rights organization wants well known proverbs changed to remove any
hints of cruelty to animals:
Kill two birds with one stone
should be changed to “feed two birds with one scone.”
(I’m not making this up!) And on a side note, some of the scones I have
eaten during my life could easily have killed two birds.
But there’s more. “Bring home the
bacon” should be changed to “bring home the bagel.”
Where does it stop? For vegans
among us does The Big Cheese change to The Big Cashew Spread?
The point with song lyrics is
that we live in a society of free choice. IF YOU HEAR SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE
ON ONE STATION, CHANGE THE STATION OR TURN IT OFF! If you read a book with content that offends
you, stop reading. I have always been angry about the number of banned books.
Books like The Diary of Anne Frank, Harry Potter, even Goldilocks and the Three
Bears. All banned in certain communities because all it takes is one or two
crackpot extremists to go to a school or library and demand that a book be
pulled from the shelves. I have even heard of dictionaries being taken out of
school libraries because they HAVE NAUGHTY WORDS in them. Uh, yes. They have
every word in them. That is the point.
My
personal opinion is that no book should be banned. If it has offensive content
then I choose not to read it. A bookstore can choose not to stock it. And I can
oversee what my children read and take away material I don’t consider suitable.
But making my opinion hold sway over other people’s is just downright
wrong. What do you think? How far do you go to be PC? Have we gone too far in our desire not to offend anyone?
I had a similar opinion until my cousin pointed out how triggering that song can be to women who have been assulted. I understand her issues, and can see the problems she pointed out. I don't know what the resolution is, but in this case I think its more than just political correctness. Pity, because I like the song.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Rhys; if you don’t like the song or the show or the book, change the station or turn it off and stop reading. [Well, I have trouble following my own advice on that . . . once I start a book, I generally feel compelled to finish it, even if I am not liking it a lot.]
ReplyDeleteChanging established things to make them “politically correct” makes me roll my eyes and silently swear. [It’s like changing the words to hymns to make them “inclusive.”]
Unfortunately, some people are quick to take offense, even when there was no offense intended. It seems to me that everything would be much smoother if everyone spoke kindly, showed respect, and stopped looking for things to feel offended about . . . .
I'm with you 100%, Rhys.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I'm not a fan of the song "Baby, It's Cold Outside." It's always felt...icky...to me. Honestly, listening to it, I don't feel like she *wants* to leave, but it making excuses and hoping to get talked into staying anyway. But it still isn't a song I like.
I would bet if the radio stations didn't say anything and just didn't play the song, no one would have noticed, and there wouldn't have been the controversy at all.
It always amazes me that rap music rarely gets scrutinized. As you pointed out, the lyrics there are so much worse than the song we're talking about.
I also agree with you on truly banning books. My only hesitation there is that "banned" books usually incorporates any book that is challenged in any capacity in a library or classroom setting. So if you were to object to your child reading a particular book in the classroom, that would go into the banned book statistics. Even if you said nothing about the rest of the class reading it and just asked for another assignment. By that definition, I'm a book banner. Again, I've never said anything about what others should read, but I did take my English teachers seriously when they offered alternative assignments a couple of times. Yet that's enough to make the banned book lists. Obviously, this is a soap box issues for me. I'll stop hogging the comments, but I do want to mention we should be able to monitor our own kids as you talked about without it being called banning books unless we are trying to take them away from everyone.
I agree, Rhys, and I also think we have to be careful not to try to recut old works to fit today's fashion. Remember the big debate some years back about taking "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" out of the classroom because Twain used the "n" word? Never mind that Twain's characters spoke the dialect of their day, and the novel itself is powerfully anti-slavery. It seems to me that some people are just determined to be outraged about something, and go out into the world each morning with a mission to find something to get upset about.
ReplyDeleteBut I also think public outrage over ridiculous things can be a way to undermine support for serious movements. The women (and men) speaking out against sexual assault, sexual harassment, and abusive bosses are addressing important problems in our society. Those critics who run around screaming about "Baby it's Cold Outside" may be extending the problem to an otherwise innocent song in an attempt to make the whole movement look silly and trivial. The truth is, Frank Loesser wrote the song to perform with his wife as a novelty at parties back when FDR was in office. It was intended to be a witty, slightly risque joke. Maybe that joke falls flat these days, but Loesser surely wasn't talking about roofies and sexual assault.
I will say, however, that I often wonder when Christmas songs became about courtship instead of the birth of Jesus. It seems to me that songs like "Winter Wonderland," "Baby it's Cold" and even "Jingle Bells" have become attached to the season simply because they mention snow. "Jingle Bells" was written around Thanksgiving, inspired by a drunken bet over a sleigh race, and yet it's a Christmas standard. Seriously, folks, in large parts of the country Christmas and snow almost never go together.
These songs have become Christmas standards because we don't want to offend anyone by mentioning that Christmas is actually a religious holiday. You can't mention religion in schools so you sing Jingle Bells and Santa Claus is Coming to Town! A teacher friend said her kids had no idea about the nativity!
DeleteSpeaking as a non-Christian who grew up in a time and place where schools hosted Biblical Christmas pageants, I get that we don't want to teach religion in public schools. I think of the secular Christmas songs as reflecting "cultural Christmas." "I'll be Home for Christmas," and "White Christmas" aren't about celebrating the birth of Jesus so much as they are about longing for the family and community connectedness associated with those celebrations. That's legit. Christmas is very much a cultural holiday in America these days, as some people walk away from their traditional church ties but keep the fun stuff like giving gifts in December. Songs like "Let it Snow, Let it Snow," and "Baby it's Cold" don't even have that much Christmas in them. Maybe we have a subset of songs that are just about winter.
DeleteI never knew that Christmas was a religious holiday even though I went to a Catholic school. I just did not make the connection! I learned later in college that Christmas was a religious holiday. To me, Christmas was about Santa Claus, aka Saint Nicholas. It makes me wonder about other countries like Israel where Judiasm is the official religion and Muslim countries where the official religion is not Christian. Do they have Christmas decorations like we do or not?
DeleteDiana
Just to add my two cents, I've long considered Christmas a retail holiday and don't feel bad about that at all.
DeleteI agree with you on remaking of sayings, Rhys. I have read research on the power of words, and changing waitress to server, and fireman to firefighter really does open up possibilities in the minds of children. When kids see a social studies chapter called "Man and His Tools," they illustrate it with pictures of men. When they read "Humans and Their Tools" - yep, pictures of men and women. So reworking those kinds of terms has been important and seems to be sticking.
ReplyDeleteBanning books and songs? No. I won't listen to rap and that's my choice. It's when we don't have the choice, as both you and Mark were saying, that it's an issue. I wrote to an airline long ago when my kids were little and the single movie they were playing on all the screens (that you couldn't turn off in those days - remember?) had way too adult content and language for my boys. The same way I would object if a subway car was playing offensive rap.
Just wanted to give you a tip of the hat, Edith, for your comment on the power of words. I agree wholeheartedly and couldn't have stated it as well as you did!
DeleteOh yes, Edith. Writing history without including HERstory is something women have always had to endure. I knew nothing about those women mathematicians who programmed space flight until I saw the movie. And they were just as big a part as the man who went up in the capsule. There are similar omissions throughout all historical inventions. I'm all in favor about speaking up on women's achievements or real abuse or disrespect.
DeleteThis reminds me. I remember that flight attendants used to be called stewardess. Now they are flight attendants.
DeleteI agree with you! Turn it off, close the book, walk away. My girls would talk to me about certain assignments for school, when they went to public school, that they felt uncomfortable with. I always told them to speak to the teacher about an alternate choice. The big thing for two of my girls was dissection of frogs! There are computer programs that can be used, which is just as informative as cutting up the poor frog!
ReplyDeleteListen to the lyrics of some rap numbers? Try the vast majority of them. Heavy Metal, a genre of music that I love has their own issues as well. The sub genres of death metal and black metal to me are a waste of time and I don't listen to them.
ReplyDeleteThe whole stupidity over Baby, It's Cold Outside had me irritated. Not only was the song nearly 75 years old but the daughter or granddaughter of the person who wrote the song had to come out and publicly say that the song wasn't about date rape.
People have raised the act of being outraged to a self-important artform. It's fake Internet outrage where every person feels it necessary to be MORE outraged than the person that came before them. I have a Facebook friend, a singer in a local Boston rock band, who's page I can't read anymore because nearly all of her posts are one diatribe after another about some slight whether real or imagined. I mean multiple posts on a daily basis. My thought is how can you be so ticked off at everything ALL the time?
As for the animal rights activists, I tend to discount anything that comes out of groups like PETA immediately. These are the people who once sent a letter to the metal band Judas Priest demanding that they change the name of their album (and title track) "Hell Bent For Leather" to "Hell Bent For Pleather"...TWELVE YEARS AFTER the album had been released.
I've found that for all the complaining about extreme right wing people, the people on the extreme left wing are just as bad. Just from the other side of the spectrum. I mean, to throw a sh*tfit because you say "Merry Christmas" to someone that might not celebrate it? GET A LIFE.
As for banning music or books, shame on anyone that pursues this line of thought. If you want to avoid uncomfortable stuff, turn off the TV or don't pick up the book. I also particularly love those that will rage about a movie or book or song without having actually heard or seen it.
Frankly, it is all enough to make me want to vomit. That saying about being silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt...that should be more of a guiding rule than just a pithy phrase.
Well said Jay! *salutes computer screen with mug of coffee*
DeleteJay, on the Merry Christmas offense: I would ask whether they take the holiday off work or not. If they do, then too bad. It's Merry Christmas!
DeleteHear hear!
DeleteManufactured outrage, ala PETA expecting a title change for Hellbent for Leather, is more of a self-justification than anything else. You can extend this same rationale towards certain media outlets, as well.
DeleteI'm constantly amazed at people who haven't discovered the off button, who can't seem to monitor their children's exposure to books and music, note I said "monitor", and who think their standards must fit us all. The term, politically correct, is a bit of an oxymoron anyway. I wish people would try harder to be kind, to address others with respect, to think before they act.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, no art form should be banned. I am happy to choose what I hear, read, see. I really don't care what anyone else hears, reads, or sees.
But writers, please remember this. Don't let the dog die. If you do, I may ban you from my experience.
It's all pretty simple, isn't it, Ann? Be kind. Don't let the dog die.
DeleteGigi - yup!
DeleteMy friend and author Domenica de Rosa (Elly Griffiths) let a cat die in the early days of her Ruth Galloway series, and she has deeply regretted it. She got quite a bit of criticism for that, and she will never let an animal die again. She can laugh about it now, but it was not easy dealing with cat lovers.
DeleteI hated it when that cat died, although it was kind of important to the story.
DeleteChange the station, turn it off, walk out of a violent movie, throw the book (well, not a library book) across the room. But don't impose your views on others. I never censored my kids' music or reading choices. Our computer was in the middle of the kitchen, the screen in full view.
ReplyDeleteMy young granddaughter and I had a conversation about things being offensive to others. She was taking a hunter safety class and the class was instructed that if the hunt was successful - they got a deer - it should not be displayed on their vehicle in a way that could possibly offend non hunters. From there we talked about those cute little family decals on cars. How long before they would be banned as offensive to people without families?
ReplyDeleteI don't mean this in an argumentative way, but I hope when we talk about not offending others we can at least think about whether we can simply be considerate of others and whether that is worth the effort. I come from an extended family in which there are many hunters, but I'm a vegetarian. I love seeing the elk come to our property with their youngsters, safe from harm during hunting season. I'm not "offended" when our rural neighbors park their vehicles at the grocery store with a dead animal draped across the hood. It breaks my heart. And, judging by the bumper stickers on many of those trucks, the drivers wouldn't mind that reaction one bit. I don't expect the world to reset itself in response to my vegetarianism, which came about as a result of a moral decision rather than a health-related one. But to be sensitive to the fact that while some people view hunting and killing animals as a hobby, others consider it a tragedy, and not subject them to a dead body? That's just being considerate, showing respect. Which is really the basis of what we dismissively call "political correctness" these days: using kind terms instead of ugly ones to acknowledge each person's inherent dignity.
DeletePreaching to the choir, here, Rhys and all. JK Rowling laughed and thanked all the people who burned her books for buying them first. I remember explaining to an evangelical relative once that the Harry Potter books were FICTION, not how-to manuals. As an aunty-mom, I screened tv shows, movies, books for the boys when they were younger. As they grew up, we talked about choice--and lyrics--and why you'd want to promote the kind of content that glorified violence, etc. They became and remain more discerning consumers of culture. It is about choice.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the ruckus over "Baby It's Cold Outside" was foolish and annoying, as well as with the concept that if one doesn't like the lyrics, one should change stations and move on.
ReplyDeleteI feel very strongly about the sanctity of books and how they should never be banned. When our son was growing up he was a voracious reader, so it wasn't long before he started wanting to read books with adult themes or language that concerned us. After a quick consultation to make sure we were both on the same page, my husband and I agreed that we would NEVER forbid him to read anything. Until he got well into his teens I read (or at least skimmed) everything he was reading, so that I had the opportunity to ask questions about his thoughts on it, and provide my own comments and concerns.
A very fond memory comes from the time when he started reading the Twilight series. I found the writing appallingly bad and said so. He replied, "Oh man, I know! She desperately needed a good editor. But underneath all that? She's telling a really, really good story." In that moment, I realized I had raised a discerning reader and that he was growing up!
Susan, I remember the same thing with my oldest daughter, the voracious reader. When she was about nine she came home with Judy Blume's Tiger Eyes--about a teenage sexual encounter. I was in an agony of indecision. Should i stop her from reading it? I told her that she might find it a bit old for her. She started to read it, came back to me and said, "No, I don't want to read this." Let people be their own censors!
DeleteAgreed aout letting people be their own censors.
DeleteDiana
I subscribe to a blog which sends me a new word in Hebrew each day. Today’s word is a verb transliterated is lehachin. It literally means to contain, as in “This product contains peanuts.” Used metaphorically it means to contain or act as the crucible for someone else’s feelings. My father was black and my mother was white. When I was a teenager, I had a friend, a white friend, who I liked very much. However, we disagreed profoundly on the topics of race and politics. If I said blue, he said red. If he said up, I would say down. I remember like it was yesterday that day in April 1968. My friend, Frank, sought me out urgently. He said, “David. I know we do not see eye to eye on many things. But this is wrong.” I, to this day, can not think about that morning without crying. And I do not cry because we lost Dr. King. (Although that is worthy of tears. I cry because I remember my friend. Being the crucible for my hurt. Shalom.
ReplyDeleteHow does the song go, David? You've got to be carefully taught. Children don't naturally perceive race. We took our kids to Barbardos when they were toddlers. They played on the beach all week with black children and never once thought to mention that their playmates looked different from them!
Deletewhen I was a baby, my family lived in a neighborhood with families of many different races and nationalities. True that children do not naturally perceive race.
DeleteDiana
My Dad's parents were from Barbados arriving here in New York City about 100 years ago. I have found them in the 1920 census which is the year my Dad was born.
DeleteWe forget to allow for the time and place in which books and songs and such were created.
ReplyDeleteSome years back there was a big push to remove traditional hymns because they were so patriarchal in nature. Many attempts were made to change lyrics to make them more inclusive.
Basically, most of it was a butcher job in the name of "good".
My thought was, keep the classic old ones, educate the listeners to what the content meant (not what it might imply now), and encourage the creation of new, beautiful hymns that are inclusive.
Libby Dodd
My husband added:
DeleteThis harks back to that old definition of freedom in society: you should be free to swing your arms wherever you want, as long as you do not hit anyone else. One has a right to be offended personally, but no one has the right to demand that everyone else agree with them.
The Girl, who just doesn't like "Baby It's Cold Outside" and never has, raised the same point about rap, Rhys. "If I song comes on I don't like, hit next or change the channel. Why's that so hard?" Same for books, TV, movies, etc. you don't like Stop reading/watching/listening. No one's forcing you.
ReplyDeleteSeems too many people have raised being outraged to an art form. Or at least an attempted art form. Personally, I can't see how they live like that. It wears me out.
Mary/Liz
How do we define "politically correct"? My white grandfather grew up in Chicago. He had an African American friend who explained the "n" word. He explained to my grandfather and his brothers that it is ok for other black people to sat the "n" word. However, it is NOT ok for white people to say the "n" word.
ReplyDeleteI was taught that if you do not have something nice to say, then do not say anything. In Sign Language, I remember as a child, the sign for Africa was circling your nose with the "a" hand shape / fingerspelling alphabet "A". Now the Sign for Africa is the shape of the African continent.
When I learned about "political correctness", it was my understanding that it is a way of respecting people of all races.
There used to be jokes about Deaf people. I remember a famous comedienne had skits mocking Deaf people on her tv show. Now I do not think you would see that in mainstream media?
Do we say "African American" or "Black"? Do we say "Native American" or "Indian"? Do we say "Asian American" or mention the country of origin?
When I learned the words to a song that had the word "baby", I thought it was a reference to a real baby. Later I learned that it means something different.
I agree that books should not be banned. Let people censor their own reading. If I do not like a book, then I stop reading it. About the Mark Twain books, we have to remember that he was writing from a time and place in history that is different from modern times. I personally refuse to read contemporary novels that always show women as the victims with graphic violence.
However, I have mixed feelings about movies and television. I find it IRONIC that while censors would object to any sex scene, at the same time they are allowing more and more violence in movies and television!
Diana
The stuff about animal right's activists getting upset over phrases reminds me of the kerfluffle in upstate NY when PETA (I think) got very offended over the name of the town of Fishkill. It was raging over the internet for a while, until they finally got the word that "Kill" is the Dutch word for creek or stream.
ReplyDeleteThey never went after "Catskill" - I suppose that could be taken as a simple statement of fact!
And I live in Cobleskill, but since Mr.Coble was 2-legged and not 4-legged the group didn't really care.
DeleteSo Kill in the US is from the Dutch. There are also lots of places in Ireland with Killin (meaning place of not murder)
DeleteWe are too quick to jump to conclusions, as the early days of the feminist movement when some women wanted to remove the word "manipulate" which of course comes from manus, a hand, and not from the male sex
You know ..this is such a hard call. I can't even tell you what it was like to hear my five year old grandson singing, word for word, at the top of his lungs, Uptown Funk. (Do you know the words to that? Yeesh. But he had no idea what they "meant," of course.) But are we supposed to keep that off the radio? Sigh.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have to say, and ducking now, if a person could learn to say "feed two birds with one scone" why not? It's just...a better image in your head. It means the same thing, sort of. ANd if you're five years old, you don't know it's what people "always say."
And I completely agree with generic firefighter and police officer. We don't say "female nurse."
SO--I think it;s important to think about what we're saying..like (and a bit of a tangent) I sometimes say to myself--Oh, Hank, you're so stupid." And then I think--why are you putting that in your head?
Questioning things is a good idea... the world changes. Sometimes things that used to be "okay" were only okay with people who thought they were okay. SO it's incredibly valuable to ponder this.
AND, actually--I always was uncomfortable with Baby its cold outside. But--so what. And I would NEVER suggest it be banned. (I mean--can't you make an endless list of all the hideous song lyrics? )
My mom allowed me to read anything I wanted.
I am appalled by the amount of time and energy people waste being offended. What if they put all that into doing something positive? But I see a big difference between being offended by what OTHER people do or say, and being sensitive about what impact the things YOU say may have on other people.
ReplyDeleteAmen! Oh I probably can't say that. I agree. Put down the book, turn the station, leave, what about "Just Say No".
ReplyDeleteWhen all the criticism of "Baby It's Cold Outside" was going on, I read an excellent article in which the criticism was countered. It basically hit upon the points already mentioned here. It was a mutual flirtation and while she wanted to stay, the mores of the time dictated that it would cause judgement and gossip. The phrase "what's in this drink" was a phrase, again, at that time, often used in a lighthearted manner when one's behavior was outside the mores or in contrast to how the person might normally act. I thought it was the silliest of issues that people were suddenly outraged by this popular Christmas song. It just made me sing it all the more.
ReplyDeleteOh, and book censorship makes my blood boil. When I was working on my Masters in Library Science, I focused a lot on this subject. What upset me the most was working in the school libraries and seeing how stealth censorship worked. Ideally and appropriately, a school should have a challenge process in place where a parent or whoever can challenge a book's inclusion in the library, starting with a simple written form. Unfortunately, in the two libraries in which I did my practicum, there was no process in place. Back to stealth censorship, which takes places without due process and includes either a librarian or a patron removing a book with no discussion other than a single person wanting the book removed. In the middle school library, a parent, of some influence in the community, didn't want her daughter reading some books, and the librarian just removed them from circulation. Now, I understand that sometimes a person feels like they are protecting their job in such a situation, but if there had been a process in place, it would have relieved the librarian of solely making the decision. In the high school library where I was working on my practicum, I inadvertently brought about the removal of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. A student had asked me to check on the book, as he had been wanting to read it, but it wasn't ever on the shelf. I tracked it down to a student who just hadn't returned it on time, and I was able to get the book back in the library. However, the two librarians became aware of my activity, as I had to ask them about it, and when the book was returned, they both took it and started reading it. I don't know how they weren't familiar with that book in the first place, but they were shocked at its content and decided it didn't belong in the library. I, in turn, was shocked by their behavior, silently removing a book without a word to anyone. Unfortunately, I think the principal would have backed up their decision. I did let the student who wanted the book know that it was no longer available in the library, but that he could find it at the public library of the local Books-a-Million. In defense of librarians, I will point out that the librarians I am friends with would never do these acts of stealth censorship, and I was just unlucky to encounter a few librarians that did. It's often a patron of the library who will simply keep a book out to ensure its unavailability. Of course, what usually happens is that a new copy is ordered after a bit, but I guess that person feels some sort of victory in his/her action. Like Rhys, I have faith in young people being able to censor themselves if a book they have chosen is just too much for them at a certain age. Of course, there is age appropriate, in which I wouldn't give my nine-year-old granddaughter a book where teens are working through a sexual relationship. Of course, she, like Rhys' daughter, would probably decide on her own such a book wasn't for her, yet.
Totally agree. We can turn it off, leave, not buy it . . . . A couple of years after my husband and I graduated, our Indiana High School banned the dictionary. And people wondered why we left the area.
ReplyDeleteA station removing a song from its playlist isn't actually the same as banning. There are countless songs NOT on any given station. Is my classical station "banning" other genres? So turning this around, those offended that the song is not on a station are free to download it for their own listening pleasure.
ReplyDeleteBrava, Edith, for pointing out the power of words and opening possibilities of careers. I remember when want ads were separated by women's and men's jobs, and my high school counselor offered nurse, teacher, secretary as my options. Naomi Baltuck encouraged storytellers to make changes if something feels wrong -- her "Bear Hunt" gesture was camera instead of gun. <3
Reading all this took me back to the 'olden' days when the Internet was wild and unregulated and it was all too easy to click on something and find yourself face with a horrifyingly pornographic image. I'm glad those days are past... not by taking the off the net, heavens no, just making it appropriately harder to find. My parents were rabid free speech advocates, so I have a VERY high bar when evaluating whether something should be banned.
ReplyDeleteAn aside... We were also nonpracticing Jews, happy to embrace Jingle Bells along with Silent Night in blissful ignorance, singing in our school choir our voices mingling and feeling the joy of the season. No one told me I couldn't.
Rhys: yay, hurrah, whistles, whoo-who, yes, yes, yes, hand claps, fist pumps, head nods and all the rest. Absolutely on point. Brilliant. Correct in every regard. Full support.
ReplyDeleteYou're preaching to the choir, Rhys. I'm totally with you. Baby, It's Cold Outside is a very funny, witty flirtation. Nothing more. Years ago when we lived in Ohio I heard about some group protesting names that begin with "kill". They seemed to overlook that these were Dutch names, so Killbuck wasn't promoting deer hunting, but don't let facts get in the way. So, change to Kissbuck? Here in Houston the latest tempest in a teapot has been a small group protesting a man who wears women's clothing and has a story hour at a couple of our libraries. He dresses up to illustrate the story and donates his time to read to the kids. I think it is wonderful. Fortunately, the group hasn't a leg to stand on as no funds are involved and it is voluntary. The libraries here really believe in the freedoms of speech and choice. If you don't like story hour, stay the hell home.
ReplyDeleteInadvertently, I had complete reading freedom growing up. My mother read all the racy novels of the time: The Carpetbaggers, Valley of the Dolls, Candy, for crying out loud. And I filled them from her underwear drawer where she hid them, as well as reading true confession magazines at my aunt's when I babysat.
ReplyDeleteI learned to discern the difference between "trashy" novels (some of which were well-crafted stories) and the kind of literature we read as school assignments. And I could definitely see the difference between moral and wanton behavior. I think we need to give kids the benefit of the doubt.
A college professor I know, in his fifties, insisted the lyrics of Baby it's Cold Outside indicated roofies in her drink, which is utter balderdash. And frankly, the product of an overactive imagination. Sheesh.
Filched, not filled. Autocorrect has such a limited vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteI've found it is a lot easier and less stressful if I don't pretend to care about things that I don't actually care about.
ReplyDeleteI'm for not banning anything and also feel strongly about judging the past by today's standards. Most of the world's races, cultures, and nations had slavery at some point. Most treated women, homosexuals, and others horribly. Let's correct things now and not worry about rewriting history. We can't really know how we would have reacted if we grew up in those days. By the way, people still talk of male nurses so reverse discrimination. Women still face more hurdles but I think that men are urged out of some job choices, too.
ReplyDeleteMy experience as a "female nurse" is that hospitals often still find ways to pay "male nurses" more for the same work-- so I'm not sure that counts as properly reverse discrimination.
DeleteI love Baby, It's Cold Outside - I even wrote it into next year's holiday book but the H/H reverse parts when she points out the current controversy. I think we can respect each other's sensitivities without banning everything under the sun (as a recovering librarian, I'm very anti-banning). So much feigned outrage - it's exhausting. I think people need to find better things to do with their time and then they wouldn't be so butt hurt all the time. Just sayin'
ReplyDeletePreach it, Rhys. You, and others, make so many good points. I remain convinced that librarians are a bastion against censorship. And as a longtime newspaper reporter, I am infuriated when people excuse themself from staying abreast of current events by referring to fake news. I think that term has done immense harm to our democracy, and to the knowledge base of our citizenry.
ReplyDeleteThis is going to be long, partly because I appreciate and respect the author of this post as a writer and kinda feel bad for disagreeing. Let me start with this: I approved of this song being cut from some radio playlists.
ReplyDeleteNow, please note how I phrased that, because it's important. This particular seasonal favourite (NOT a Christmas song) was not forced off store shelves en masse or deleted out of virtual/online existence. Anyone can still buy it, play it, record it, sell it, perform it, talk about it in multiple public forums, find it on other radio stations, and enjoy it at will – at no cost, even, if you have access to the internet. Ergo, cutting a song from targeted radio playlists does not constitute a significant ban and in this case did not constitute censorship, not even stealth censorship. One problematic song was curated from certain public spaces, temporarily and in a limited capacity. That’s it. That’s ALL. And I approved.
Why, you might ask? It's a fun, catchy song, after all. And I'm a front-line librarian whose default is firmly set on anti-censorship. I'm a staunch advocate of letting people, kids included, read and (with very few exceptions) watch and listen to what they will, because that's how you develop tastes and opinions and personal values. So, doesn't BICO have a place in holiday playlists? Sure it does, including several of my own. Is it a good family holiday song, one that I'm comfortable hearing children sing along to? Ah ... well, no. Not at all, actually.
Consider that point. It's a great song, but for many (many) reasons it's not good contemporary family fare. In my opinion, none of the rap comparisons hold water in this debate for this very reason. I mean, I don’t object to people listening to controversial rap in their own spaces. I myself attended rap concerts as a younger adult and a lot of rap favourites still get regular play in my house. I'm very conscious about rap being important historically and socially, and of course the best of it holds up as damn good music. But. I say that as an informed listener in my own space making conscious decisions. I expect to hear rap, even edgy rap, in adult spaces like clubs or bars. What I do NOT expect or want to hear is those same tracks over loudspeakers in public family-oriented spaces while out with the kids – somewhere you can’t change the channel and do not have any direct control over song choice, just to point out a flaw in the “free will” argument. I would not enjoy knowing that they were immersed in graphic lyrics and imagery, without context or world experience, absorbing harmful social messages, and normalizing language that completely contradicts everything we teach them about enthusiastic consent. I really, really wouldn't, and I'd honestly be surprised if most of the other commentators here would either.
Also, as a librarian, I'm painfully aware that the kids in those public spaces include the at-risk youth that my colleagues and community partners work so hard to help. You know what gives you a new perspective on songs like BICO? Hearing 15-year-old kids of any sex speak casually about abusive sexual aggression as a relationship norm, as something not really enjoyed but expected and endured and then repressed. Suddenly it's all too easy to read those cute, flirty lyrics as reinforcing dangerous power dynamics. Once you've been face-to-face with the people who suffer the consequences of this kind of thinking, it changes the conversation for you. It just does.
DeleteFinally, I’m amused by those who defend the song by referencing the movie that made it so popular, as if being old-fashioned and pretty were some sort of proof of wholesomeness. I mean, the whole plot of Neptune's Daughter revolves around class snobbery, deception, and uninvited sexual aggression by ruthless people with selfish agendas! Which doesn’t mean it isn’t genuinely entertaining; it is, and it deserves its kudos. Just don’t kid yourself that fun and playful automatically equals harmless, or that a movie’s message is socially healthy just because the soundtrack is peppy and charismatic characters get their happy endings.
So for me, this isn't about censorship. It isn't about philosophy or freedom of speech or personal choice or civil rights or being a social justice warrior; most of that is misdirection and manufactured outrage. It's about recognizing that the "harmlessness" of a song like BICO is something a lot of us take for granted, that it's easy to ignore (or not to care) that the potential for harm can and sometimes does outweigh the enjoyment factor. When people defend a song like BICO simply for the sake of defending it -- or to assert ownership over cultural touchstones they otherwise care nothing about -- I don't buy it. With apologies to people who I really do respect and enjoy supporting through purchase of their work, it just isn't good enough.
I've found that when I listen, really listen, to people who are offended by things I find enjoyable I can usually understand where they're coming from, even if I continue to disagree. (For example, despite the rampant sexism and ableism in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, it still holds warm fuzzy childhood memories and I'm loathe to give it up.)
ReplyDeleteDismissing others as "butthurt", "in need of a safe space", and "too easily offended" (not to mention the ever-popular "snowflake") is really not in aid of anything positive for our society.
Banning art isn't in aid of a better society either. I can decline to purchase a book, or turn my TV or radio off- which I do when I hear that particular song, because MY radio station had it on a two hour rotation and I am heartily sick of it.