What Hank's Writing: Naming Names!

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HANK PHILLIPPPI RYAN: What are the two scariest words in an author’s lexicon? Oh, trust me (those aren’t the ones) there are plenty of scary words. No thanks. Next time. So sorry.

For me right now, the scary words are: Chapter One. Which I typed, four-thousand-one-hundred-fourteen words ago. And yet again, I’m having the moment of feeling what it’s like to write a book. Terrified.

From scratch. Ish. Yes, I’d sent a proposal to my editor, and yes, she loved it, and all good. I just finished the edits of THE MURDER LIST, all good. But now, I actually have to write the new book. I'm so happy about that. Still. Terrified.

So if you ask: what’re you writing, Hank? Who are the main characters? What're their names?  I’d say—that’s what I’m trying to figure out.

There’s a main character: MAYBE her name is Ellie. Maybe.

There’s a love interest. He’s so unformed as yet that honestly, his name is now “Guy.” It’ll be hilarious if it stays that way.

There’s a foil--is she good or bad? Whose name started out as Amy, but because there are too many Amys, changed to Hannah, but turned out she’s not one bit Hannah. As she proved in about one paragraph. So she’s now Andrea.  Andrea Westin. For the time being.

There’s a mystery woman, Nora. Maybe Nora. Nora seems to be working for her, so I’m counting my name blessings.

Doctor Lorcan Elliott became Doctor Elliott Lorcan and then that all had to be scrapped because you can’t have Ellie and Elliott. Now he’s Glenn Something. (He’s in is sixties, so Glenn works.)

I’ve auctioned off naming rights for charity, and I adore doing that. I have four of those for this book, now, from separate places.  However. Three of them have the same initials, first name C, Last name P. Argh. That is not gonna work.  

 Thing is, and it’s kind of magical, you can’t just slap a name on someone and have it work. I am so fascinated by this, and persevere because I know once I get the name, the personality emerges. (Writers, has this happened to you?)

Yes yes. I hear you.  Go to phone books, cemeteries, name generators, yearbooks, you’ll suggest. Done that. I mine the credits in TV shows. One Sunday, I contemplated whether I could make every man in the book have the name of a professional football player. I didn’t do it, but it would have been funny. (Just what I’m goin’ for, funny.)  

Seriously, I went through the entire list of the people owed money in the Mass State Treasurer’s unclaimed money fund, thousands upon thousands of people’s names, and I could not find one name I could use. 

Because the person’s name already exists, you just have to unearth it.

In Trust Me, Ashlyn Bryant began her book-life as Corrinne Briody. Every single time I wrote her name, I spelled it a different way. Big red flag. Plus, she wasn’t “being” anyone. She had no goals, and no attitude, and no personality. Probably because she couldn’t remember how to spell her name.  

I thought and thought, and went through every darn list you can imagine. Crystal, Tiffany—too on the nose for this character. Tasha, no. (But she became someone else.) Nicole? ::Shaking head:: 

But when I typed Ashlyn Bryant? It was—amazing. She sat up and looked at me. Ashlyn she was. I had found her.

And in The Murder List, a main character was law student Gianna Delaney. I loved that name, what a great name! But she apparently, hated it. Hated. It. And sat there, a lump, a limp puppet, a sullen block of wood.

Okay, I said. How about Rachel? Rachel North.

Bingo. Her eyes sparkled and she looked like someone who has a secret or two. Which, as you will soon see, indeed she does.

(The MURDER LIST comes out August 20! And way more to come on that. Trust me.)

 So here I am with all these naming opportunities again. It’s daunting, really, and superly fun, not so much “naming” a character but discovering what their name really is.

But maybe there’s one way you can help me.  Ellie has a cat. I think it’s a female. Calico, because it’s fun to say calico. The cat’s name has been Tinker, Tinka, Blinker, Blinka, Trudy, Scooter, Ibsen, Kafka and Wally. None of those works, exactly. Her person is a reporter, kind of, and has a…past. Which I can’t tell you. 

 So—what would a wholesome fresh-faced determined young woman name a cat these days?

Maybe you’ll be able to discover who this one really is. And if we discover it together right here on Jungle Red? I’ll send you a copy of the absolutely gorgeous new trade paperback of TRUST ME.

It’s an Agatha nominee, did I mention that? I probably did.

So, here, kitty kitty. What’s your name?