When Your Personal Life is Material for Your Work by Jenn McKinlay

Jenn McKinlay: In a different lifetime, I was a part-time librarian. It was a great job. I loved my coworkers, the books, the public, the books, the atmosphere, the books, well, you get the idea. The library was my happy place.

That was right up until a patron got the wrong idea about my smiling helpfulness. He was asking for books on how to care for his hamster and I gamely jumped in, making his mission my mission as I did with any and all reference questions. When he left the building, he had a stack of hamster books in his arms, and I felt as if my mission was accomplished. 

Sadly, this patron took my friendliness the wrong way. The next time he appeared at my desk, he had a stack of planning your wedding books for me. He pushed them towards me and said, "I think June 1st would be a lovely day to get married." ACK!!!

It got worse. He sat near my reference desk and stared at me for hours. He waited for me when I left the building. I started looking over my shoulder constantly and spent my days on edge. The administrators at the time (they've since retired) were hesitant to kick him out of the building for fear of violating his civil rights. Excuse me?! And we wonder why women don't feel heard.

Finally, a detective from the Phoenix PD came to see me, sent by a friend who was the head of the liquor commission at the time. He listened to my story and told me he'd never seen a case of stalking handled so poorly by the powers that be (library admin) in all his years on the force. He and a partner went to talk to my stalker and convinced him to stay clear of me and the building I worked in for at least a year. Turns out, the guy had a history of stalking and had done jail time before. 

September 2019

So, when it came time to write WORD TO THE WISE, I knew I wanted to settle some old scores, right some wrongs, and exorcise some demons. Here is a snippet as librarian Lindsey Norris struggles with how to handle a patron, who is overstepping:

     Lindsey was going over the agenda of the next library board meeting with the president, Milton Duffy, in the main part of the library when Mayor Hensen and his right hand man, Herb Gunderson, came into the building. The mayor was known for his politician’s thousand-watt smile but at the moment, there was no sign of it. Not even a twitch of his lips.

     “Good afternoon, Mayor, Herb,” Lindsey greeted them.

     “A word, Lindsey,” Mayor Henson said. He kept walking, not even slowing down, towards Lindsey’s office. She gave Milton a wide-eyed look and followed the mayor into the workroom to the back where her office was. She felt Ms. Cole watching, and she turned and shrugged with a bewildered expression. Ms. Cole, who was not a fan of the mayor, smiled.

     Once in the office, the mayor and Herb took the two seats across from her desk and Lindsey sat down behind it. 

     “Can I get you anything?” she offered. “Coffee, water, soda?”

     “No thank you,” Mayor Hensen said. Herb didn’t say anything and Lindsey knew that the nature of their relationship meant that the mayor was answering for Herb as well. 

     “We’re here to discuss a matter of concern brought to us by a resident of Briar Creek,” Herb said.

     Lindsey felt her heart sink. This was how they always began a discussion when someone wanted to ban a book. While the mayor and Herb tended to be more interested in placating the patron, Lindsey took a hard line on not banning books. Period.

     She straightened her back. If they tried to get rid of one of her paper bound babies, well, there was going to be a fight.

     “Mr. Aaron Grady stopped by my office and told us that he’d been banned from using the library by the chief of police,” Mayor Hensen said. “Is this true?”

     Lindsey felt her face get warm. She did not want to have to explain this situation to the mayor. It was awkward and embarrassing and in a town where most of the department heads were male, she was afraid this was going to make her look weak and ineffectual. Her resentment spiked. She decided to stick to the facts.

     “I believe Chief Plewicki spoke to him about his inappropriate behavior,” Lindsey said. “Last I saw, she followed him out of the building and I haven’t heard from her since. I expect she’ll be in touch to give me more details when she gets the chance. If she banned him from the building, that’s welcome news to me.”

     “What was inappropriate about his use of the library?” Herb asked.

     “At the time, he was sitting at a desk and staring at me,” she said. 

     The two men exchanged a look. 

     “For an hour,” Lindsey said. “Just staring. And when I came into my office after being out there, he dragged a desk and chair into the shelving so he could continue to do so.”

     She pointed out the office window at the stacks but the desk and chair had already been moved back to their original location.

     “Do you think you might be overreacting?” Herb asked. Lindsey glowered.

      “He brings me roses from his garden,” she said. They stared at her, clearly waiting for more. “He pops up in town, wherever I am.” They weren’t getting it. “He showed up at my house.”

     The men exchanged a look. Herb cleared his throat and said, “Lindsey, you’re an attractive woman, and I mean that as an unbiased observation of fact and not in any way inappropriately.”

     “Okay,” Lindsey said. She wasn’t sure what to make of this.

     “So, is it really unreasonable for a man to notice you?” Herb asked.

     The mayor nodded as if to say what he said.

    “I mean,” Herb continued. “Can’t you just take it as a compliment and not have him kicked out of the building?”

     Lindsey returned their gazes, studying the two men sitting in front of her. She liked them. They were both good, solid family men. The sort who went to church every Sunday, doted on their moms, coached little league and soccer in their spare time. They were solid, salt of the earth types of guys. They could never imagine what it felt like to be a victim of unwanted attention and Lindsey didn’t know how to explain it beyond the fact that it sucked. She went with the facts.

     “No, I can’t,” she said. “Because it’s not a compliment. It’s creepy and marginally threatening and if it was your wife, sister, mother, or daughter, I don’t think you’d want them to put up with it either.”

     “Oh, now, come on,” Mayor Hensen tried to cajole her. “I know I’d be delighted if a woman thought I was attractive enough to warrant a couple of longing looks and some roses. Surely, being complimented like that can’t be that bad.” He elbowed Herb. “Am I right?”

     “Absolutely,” Herb said. “We don’t want to punish a man for having a silly little crush, do we? You should be flattered, Lindsey.”

     “Flattered?” she asked. “Did you miss the part where the guy showed up at my house with flowers when I was home alone. I never gave him my address. I’m not even listed at that address. That’s crossing the line.”

     “Yes, he did admit that he might have overstepped,” Herb said.

     “Might have?” Lindsey asked. “There’s no “might have” here. Listen, there’s something wrong with him and I’m not willing to put my staff or myself in harm’s way if this guy decides to show up with a gun or a bomb or whatever. So, no, I’m not going to pretend that I find this flattering. I don’t. It’s wrong and it’s weird, and I expect your support on this.”

     The two men exchanged another look.

     “Here’s the problem,” Herb said. “Mr. Grady has threatened to sue the town for infringing upon his civil rights if he is kicked out of the library. Since he hasn’t threatened you in any way, we feel it is best to let him back into the building.”

     “You’re joking,” she

said.

     The two men simply looked at her and she knew that their fear of a lawsuit outweighed their concern that she and her staff could be at risk. In that moment, the disappointment she felt in these two men she considered colleagues and friends had no bottom.

     “I’m afraid not,” Mayor Hensen said. “Mr. Grady is allowed to use the library just like any other resident of Briar Creek and the Thumb Islands. I’ll be making my position on this clear to Chief Plewicki as well.”

     He rose from his seat and Herb followed. At the door, Herb looked back and said, “If you have any other information, if he does anything that warrants further consideration, let us know and we can discuss it again.”

     With that they left, and Lindsey felt betrayed on a level she had never before experienced. 

What about you, Reds and Readers, have you ever had anyone cross the line? How did you get rid of them?