Lucy is Revising THE KEY LIME CRIME

cover draft, final to come

LUCY BURDETTE: As you heard last week, most of us don't mind revising with a good editor, and some of us love it. Crooked Lane does things a little differently from what I've experienced with previous publishers--they use freelance editors. When I got my edited manuscript back two weeks ago, I was thrilled to recognize the editor as my previous NAL editor for this series, Sandy Harding. 

Sandy has a talent for putting her finger right on problems (plot and character)--I have a tendency to be vague about details in early drafts because I'm busy nailing the story down. And she also points out where good moments in the book could be expanded for better effect. Here's an example. On the side you can see her comment, and underlined sentences are my fixes.

In the olden days, all this didn't happen online. I'd send the printed manuscript in the mail, and get it back pocked with yellow sticky notes that had suggestions scribbled on them. When I taught mystery writing to 5th graders, I loved showing them that stack of pages--they were horrified at the amount of work writing a book involves!

Okay, I have to get back to fixing my problems, but I'll leave you with a little snippet from THE KEY LIME CRIME. I chose it  since everyone loves Miss Gloria. Helen is Hayley's mother-in-law and the three of them are investigating a murder of course...

We zipped up to Houseboat Row where Miss Gloria was waiting in the driver’s seat of her big Buick with the engine running. She had the windows open and some kind of rock music pumping out from the radio. 

“Want me to drive?” I asked.

“No thanks,” she said cheerfully. “I don’t want to get rusty. And we don’t have far to go, so how much damage can I do?” She cackled as we got in, then craned around to grin at Helen in the back seat, gunned the engine, and lurched out onto Palm Avenue. I gripped my door handle and gritted my teeth, waiting for the sound of blaring horns and the crash of metal. Mercifully none of that came.

“We’ve got a lot on the schedule today, don’t we?” Miss Gloria asked. “I figure we’ll park in the garage on Caroline Street and then walk to the Pie Company, right?”

“Right,” I said. “And Helen and I have agreed, we aren’t investigating. On the other hand, if some tidbit related to Claudette falls in our laps, we’ll gather it up and pass it on to Nathan.”

“Remember to think about the person behind the crime,” Helen a.k.a. my mother-in-law said, leaning forward and grabbing the driver side headrest. “We’re not only collecting recipes, we’re understanding a murderer. And his victim.”

“Oh, Hayley is unbelievable at that,” said Miss Gloria, glancing in the rear view mirror. “She has more friends than anyone I know—and that’s because she knows what makes people tick. And even if she doesn’t care for somebody, she works at understanding why they’re crabby. And the next thing you know, they’re friends. I’m certain Nathan’s told you how she solved a couple of crimes. Not that he appreciates that one bit.” 

She chuckled, and I squeezed her arm to thank her for sticking up for me, but then let go fast so she would concentrate on swinging around the curve that led into Eaton Street without taking out cars in the oncoming traffic. She found an open space in the Caroline Street garage, avoided nicking anyone’s paint job, and we wended our way through a mob of visitors to the shop on Greene Street.

“Please,” I whispered to Miss Gloria, “let me ask the questions?” I didn’t dare say the same to Helen, but I hoped I’d made my point clear.

We signed in at the cash register and Sigrid led us to the back room of the shop with three other students—Lori, Judy, and Louise—friends visiting from New Jersey to celebrate the New Year and escape a week of bitter cold temperatures. Sigrid gestured for us to stop next to two large sinks. 

“No one starts the class without washing up and dressing in our chef’s costume,” she said, grinning. She described how we should scrub our hands and then don plastic gloves and aprons and finally a hairnet.

“All you ladies look so cute,” said Miss Gloria. “You are rocking those hairnets. We need pictures of this.”

“Give me your phones,” Sigrid said, “and I’ll take some pix.”

I hardly wanted this outfit broadcast on social media. The net flattened our hair against our heads, and the clear plastic on our hands and torso made us resemble packaged meat. Not a good look for any of us. On the other hand, Palamina would love it if I posted these photos on Instagram and Facebook. Pictures of pie after pie after pie could be broken up with some comic relief. And it might relax the instructor if we behaved like normal students rather than murder inquisitionists. I took off one of the gloves, dug in my back pocket, and handed over my phone.

Miss Gloria clapped her plastic-covered hands together. “I feel like we’re Lucy and Ethel in the chocolate shop, remember that episode in I love Lucy? I watch it once a week, along with the video about the cat who sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with his owner. With the world such a mess, it pays to find things that make you laugh. I’ll find it for you when we finish the class,” she told the ladies from New Jersey.

Mrs. Bransford looked a little googly-eyed. My roommate could have that effect on people until they got used to her chirpy nature.

And here's what I did to research the scene--with the real Lori, Judy, and Louise...Can't you picture Miss Gloria and Hayley right here too? Now, a question for writers and non-writers alike: How do you do at handling feedback on a project you've worked hard on?

PS the pre-order link with the new cover is not up yet, but I will alert you when it is. Meanwhile, A DEADLY FEAST will be out in Mass market paperback on June 9 and you can order that now: Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Indiebound...

Lucy Burdette writes the Key West food critic mystery series, which can be bought wherever books are sold. Please follow her on Bookbub, Instagram, and Facebook!