JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Today is one of two Friday the Thirteenths this year (the other is in December.) The idea the day came be viewed as unlucky is widely credited to Christian tradition: there were thirteen people at the Last Supper, followed by betrayal and Jesus' death on Friday. However, History.com points out the feeling that 12 = good and 13 is an unlucky aberration is deeply baked into western culture, where we have the twelve gods of Olympus, the twelve labors of Hercules, the twelve months and the twelve signs of the zodiac, among many others. 
We've talked before about superstitions we learned growing up and which ones of us toss a pinch of salt or pick up pennies. (By the way, this is the second time Friday the 13th has fallen on one of my blog days - does that make me lucky, or un-?) I thought I might take a different twist this time: What superstitions would you invent, if you could?
Because when you think about it, some do's and don't's have a basis in real-life warnings, if you squint a little. Don't walk under a ladder -well, it may be bad luck because you're increasing your chance of getting something dropped on your head.
"Red sky at night, sailors (or shepherds, in Great Britain) delight" is
meteorologically correct - according to metoffice.gov.uk, "A red sky at sunset means high pressure is moving in from the west so therefore the next day will usually be dry and pleasant." And as the owner of a black cat who often seems to disappear when the light is dim, I can attest that having her cross my path can lead, if not to actual bad luck, then at least to awkward jigging as I attempt to keep on my feet while not stepping on her.Most of our superstitions are rooted in the distant past, however, and I say it's time for a modern world update. Here are mine:
If a cat jumps up beside your computer, pet her at once, or bad luck will befall you. (Because if she walks back and forth to get your attention, she might step on your keyboddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
If an important email you must send, first get up and squat and bend. (So you have a chance to either think twice about emailing it, or at least get a fresh look at any errors when you get back to it.)Rain in the morning, commuters take warning.
It's unlucky to enter a Target or Walmart the last two weeks of August. (Because you'll get run over by dorm- and back-to-school- shoppers.
Step on a crack, break the patriarchy's back.
Drive in June, wait past noon. (16 year olds often start driving lessons in June. At our local driving school, the road practice was done in the morning.)
And, speaking of driving, It's bad luck to drive with your charger unplugged. (This should be obvious.)Peanut in school, grow up a fool.
A modern update on "Drop a knife, a man is coming to visit": Express an opinion on Twitter, a man will soon stop by.
It's bad luck to leave a LEGO brick on the floor.
And finally:
If you get three scam calls in a row, say, "God Bless Me!" and consider changing your number.
Okay, dear readers, it's your turn to play - can you come up with some 21st century superstitions?
When I was a kid in Missouri, an old farmer neighbor of ours told me that high, "buttermilk sky" cirrus clouds were "early warning clouds" and meant there would be rain within three days. Sometimes that actually works.
ReplyDeleteAs for modern superstitions, all I can think of right now are lame things like, "If you want five barn cats, feed one." Barn cats do not portend particularly good or bad luck, but they will keep the snakes away from your doorstep.
Perhaps we can come up with a whole new school of divination based on where your dryer balls end up when the cycle ends. All four in plain sight? Good fortune the rest of the day. Lost one or more in the folds of the sheets? Bad night ahead.
Dryer ball divination! I love it. And by the laws of averages and statistics, some of the predictions are bound to come true, aren't they?
DeleteToo funny, Gigi. It's great when you get dressed in a hurry and discover the lump in your sleeve or your pants leg.
DeleteI’m still chuckling over the truth of not stepping on a LEGO brick, but I don’t seem to be clever enough to come up with a twenty-first-century spin on one of those old superstitions . . . .
ReplyDeleteYeah, that one's pretty self evident. It certainly is bad luck.
DeleteStill looking forward to that book of essays--I will keep it handy so whenever I need a lift, I'll have the remedy at hand! You pretty much covered my life with the cat and the keyboardddddddddddddddddddddd!
ReplyDeleteIt's every frickin' day here, Flora. Right now, I'm typing with one hand while trying to keep Neko from ecstatically rolling onto my laptop.
DeleteTwo important reports needed to go out this week--I've learned to check for unexpected lines of type within paragraphs,lots of spaces between paragraphs, misspelled words with lots of odd letters, and to double-check if the number lock is still on. Jimmy Crackhead takes the cake, though--he's learned how to turn off the computer when annoyed with lack of attention. So, SAVE, SAVE, SAVE!
DeleteSo true. I set my auto-save to every 20 seconds. I'm not a fast typist, so even ifthe cat turns things off, I won't lose much.
DeleteThose are great. Let's see.
ReplyDeleteAvoid searching for a product online or ads will follow you all your days.
Murphy's Law of author contests: the person you pick to win the free book is the only commenter who never returns to the blog nor checks her email.
Never open a Facebook message containing lots of exclamation points and a video.
(This all seem a bit lame - sorry!)
But all truthful and good advice, Edith!
DeleteEdith, I'll be happy to take all of those unclaimed free books off your hands!
DeleteI'm not sure if there's a comparable old superstition, but one modern one that works for me every time is: The best way to find something you've lost is to buy a new one.
ReplyDeleteYes!!
DeleteYes!
DeleteAnnette, that is my life right now! After packing hundreds of boxes, and now unpacking them a few at a time, I've given up finding several things. Target and Lowe's benefit mightily from this one!
DeleteOMG I've done that!
DeleteI wound up with 3 almost-full jars of curry due to that little truth. And I don't make curries that often...
DeleteYES! I'm convinced this new superstition is absolutely true :)
DeleteI lost an expensive earring in a pair I really liked and replaced it.. Fourteen months later the lost earring appeared in the bathtub.
DeleteIn the bathtub?!? Okay, Susan, that has to be Borrowers. No way you could miss an earring in the tub for 14 months.
DeleteShe obviously has cats
DeleteWe currently don’t have feline residents. The reappearance of the earring is truly a mystery.
DeleteI had just cleaned the bathtub, it houses the drying rack for my running clothes.
Here is the strangest part, I was wearing the earrings and when I saw one in the bathtub I first thought one had fallen out. I reached up and felt, earrings still intact in my ears. I now have three of the same earrings,.
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ReplyDeleteNever go into the hospital on July 1 or, even worse, plan your surgery in July.
ReplyDeleteOn July 1, a whole retinue of residents arrive. This day they are doctors. Yesterday they were 4th year medical students. They mean well, but they haven't a clue what to do. And the graduating residents who left the end of June took everything that wasn't nailed down, so good luck finding a Welch Allyn on the unit. (That's the thingy used to look at your eyes, inside your nose, in your ears.)
This is not superstition but absolute truth. August isn't much better, but by September the pecking order is established and fewer mistakes happen. As in removing the wrong -- fill in the blank -- appendage. Or giving an adult dose of -- fill in the blank -- to a child.
I always forget about this! Thank you for reminding us…
DeleteAnn, I was thinking about this when Youngest had oral surgery (followed by a four day hospital stay) at the end of July. Fortunately, her care was managed by her very experienced surgeon and a team of veteran nurses.
DeleteGood for her. But a four day stay after oral surgery? Yikes.
DeleteShe had a tough recover, poor thing, and they didn't want to release her until she could take at least a litre hydration by mouth over the course of a day.
DeleteThis is so hilarious!
ReplyDeleteIf I have my phone give me directions, the route will be simple and obvious. If I decide I'm fine without it, there will be several unmarked turns and confusing intersections. Would love to think of more but I'm too busy stepping on all the cracks I see.
ReplyDeleteLaughing out loud, Jim. And yes, I find the phone thing to be true as well. Maybe superstitions are just the boiled down essence of Murphy's law?
DeleteLove the cat and the keyboardddddddddd. It will work for a large dog's head, as well.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, the best way to find a lost item is to buy a new one.
Is there something to tie injuries to important trips? As in the tendency to hurt something really important right before you are going somewhere? It's too early for me to be clever with words.
I haven't experienced the injury thing, Liz, but I do know, "Go on a trip, later get sick." Despite Airborne and hand washing and sanitizers...
DeleteHa. Now that my mother is out of danger, I'll be stepping on cracks with relish, along with Jim Collins.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of my mother, her birthday is January 13th and it's fallen on Friday, of course, many times. Considering that she will turn 90 on her next trip around the sun, that particular superstition holds little terror for me.
The only one I can think of is If you don't make your bed/do the dishes/pick up the scattered research the night before, someone is sure to stop by early in the morning.
Karen, your mother makes me think of the Smithie, who had her birthday yesterday - right between 9/11 and Friday the 13th.
DeleteWhen you are in the middle of one of the best books ever and then you find you have the entire day free so you can savor and finish it, the Universe will step in and put the kibosh on that!
ReplyDeleteYes! Or a corollary - as soon as you've found the perfect book online and are about to download it, your wifi goes on the glitch.
DeleteIf you get your tires rotated and forget to tell them to reset the flat tire dash light, the light will go on when you're on the interstate in gridlock traffic.
ReplyDeleteIf you order a stack of new releases from the library system, all of them will appear on the hold shelf simultaneously, with a one week checkout.
If you leave your cell phone charging overnight on the kitchen counter, you will receive a text message at 2am. Do you ignore it, assuming it's a Verizon billing statement, or lie awake wondering if one of the kids is in the emergency room or jail until you give in and stagger downstairs to check.
Oh, Margaret, the noise downstairs for me is always the furnace. I turn the heat way down at night to save money and because I like a cold room to sleep in. Then I'll hear a noise when it's too warm outside to cause the furnace to start. Or it kicks in again and again. Do I climb out of bed and crawl downstairs and check it? Or lie there, worrying I'm burning fuel for no reason?
DeleteShalom Reds and fans. I try not to be superstitious as much as I can help it. In order not to lose things in the house, I have designated spots for everything. However, sometimes I get lazy and put something down just anywhere I happen to be. This almost ensures that I will tear my hair out later, trying to remember where I put it.
ReplyDeleteJust one thing, I noted, the first and only time I’ve been in a Target was the end of last month. I was with my stepmom in the Bronx and we were looking for a cordless phone. I was amazed that they even had a Starbucks right in the store. We stopped for the obligatory cup of coffee and sat and people watched for a while.
And did you see lots of back-to-school shoppers, David?
DeleteI think mostly adults on a Sunday afternoon shopping "date".
DeleteIf the clock strikes 13, you haven't woken up yet.
ReplyDeleteYou look younger without your glasses on: proof, take your glasses off and look in the mirror.
Hallie, this makes me laugh so hard. It's true, I look AMAZING with my glasses off!
DeleteUnavailable will call, and call, and call again as soon as you sit down to read. Ditto when you’re deeply involved with something on the boob tube.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the superstition should be "Share your cell phone number with a business, expect spam calls the rest of your life."
DeleteI don’t share! I think it’s more likely that the volume of robocalls is directly proportional to the level of annoyance at the interruption.
DeleteGiven that I have a preference for the "baker's dozen" the number 13 totally works for me.
ReplyDeleteModern day superstitions or at least Jenn superstitions:
"Wear white, mustard delight." Mustard will always find me if I wear white. Always.
"Pay off your car, you won't go far." The second I send in that last car payment, the car will implode. Every time.
LOL.
Both are SO true!
DeleteMy son-in-law babied his car, which they were about to pay off, and then coast for a couple years until my grandson was old enough to drive it. One month before their final payment some texting driver slammed into his back end while he was stopped at a red light, and propelled him into the also stopped car ahead, accordioning their previously pristine car.
Oh, no, Karen, that's awful. Maybe one should be, "Text and drive, won't stay alive."
DeleteSo perfect, Jenn! Although any shirt I wear seems to be a condiment magnet. As for the car thing, the last car I paid off made it five whole months before some lady decided she could beat me through an intersection (I had right of way). Or maybe her elderly Nissan Sentra just wanted to die. But did it have to take my spiffy black 45th Anniversary Edition Mustang GT down too? And here I sit, only a few months from paying off the replacement Mustang. I'm starting to worry.
DeleteHa! These are all marvelous.
ReplyDeleteI love Friday the 13th. I've got a 13th birthday, so I decided Friday the 13th was good luck and when I was a kid it was always my favorite when it fell on a Friday :)
Gigi, did you have cool themed birthdays, like kids who were born around Hallowe'en?
DeleteThat's so cool, Gigi!
DeleteJulia -- I did do lots of mystery-themed birthday parties! But not tied to the 13th in particular.
DeleteThe sillier the accident, the more obvious the injury. (You know, when everyone asks you "How did THAT happen?", and you're too embarrassed to answer.
ReplyDeleteWhen you tear your house apart looking for something vital, you'll never find it. You will, however, find the once-vital item you were looking for three months ago.
Your chances of winning a raffle or door prize increase in direct proportion to how useless or ugly you think the prize is.
That last is SO true. The only door prizes I ever win are those pasta-in-a-decorative-bottle things no on ever uses.
DeleteI've always been a fan of Friday the 13th. My father was born on a Friday the 13th, and he turned out very well. Also, I love Halloween, and the creepiness attributed to it appeals to me. That it's a full moon on this particular Friday the 13th, is lots of fun, too.
ReplyDeleteLove the new superstitions commenters are leaving here. One I'd like to add to justify my book buying is the following. Pass up buying a book you want and you will live to regret it. Another book one might be that not taking a book to read at a doctor's appointment ensures that you will have at least an hour wait time.
That last is why I always have my Kindle with me when I go out, Kathy. I dread waiting with nothing to read MUCH more than anything related to Friday the 13th!
ReplyDeleteGood idea, Julia. If I could remember to keep my Kindle charged, it would work better for me.
DeleteOrange faced politician at night electorate take fright. Orange faced politician in the morning electorate take warning.
ReplyDeleteIf it's cats and and keyboards, it's dogs and feet. Wherever you intend to put down your foot, there will be a dog.
ReplyDeleteAnd no one mentioned "Forget your sweater, will freeze later." That sort of rhymes!
My mom's edict for the outdoor Muny theater was to pack umbrellas and towels, to prevent rain.
ReplyDeleteElaine Viets declared any boxes not unpacked in 30 days become furniture.
My favorite from Kathryn Wyndham was to eat pie from the crust end rather than the point to have good luck. I feel sure that was invented by a cook who worked hard on the crust and hated seeing it left on the plate. ;-)
My own teacher adage was that if I scolded the entire class, the only ones feeling bad would be the ones who hadn't been making trouble in the first place.
Isn't the number 13 supposed to mean good luck in some cultures? I cannot recall if it was Chinese or Mexican culture?
ReplyDeleteDiana