There is a reason why Roombas cost five hundred dollars. It is because they are smart and they actually clean floors. I had always held off from getting one. I have a cleaning lady who comes every two weeks and I can sweep and mop the kitchen floor with no problem. But I saw an ad on Facebook for a Roomba-like cleaner that was only around fifty dollars and I thought, great, maybe it can just sweep up the crumbs every morning. So I sent for it.
Well, after weeks and weeks of being notified that it was on its way from Shanghai, it arrived. And the manual, all two pages of it, looked like this. I don’t know about you, but I was none the wiser.
It reminded me of a cat when it gets its head stuck in a cereal box, or maybe Winnie The Pooh when he stuck his head in the honey pot. Blunder, blunder, bump bump.
At the end of fifteen minutes I turned it off and examined it. Okay, it had been good at sweeping up dust. It had collected a little dust and a couple of dog hairs from when my daughter’s dog visited on Sunday. But the breadcrumbs were now liberally scattered over the floor, instead of just in one spot under the table where my messy husband sits. And it had driven me crazy with its constant bumping into things.
So what have I learned? If it reads too good to be true, it is. It can’t handle carpet at all. It can’t even handle breadcrumbs. I’m not going to return it. The thought of filling in customs forms to send it back to China is not worth the effort. So I will continue to run my Swiffer over the floor in two seconds and reject technology. And Mr. Super (yes, that is what he is called. It says so on his back. Notice I have identified him as masculine) can join the graveyard of forgotten appliances that John has ordered over the years: the sausage maker, the vegetable juicer, the ham slicer etc etc. I’ve learned my lesson.
Rhys, I’m chuckling over your misadventures with Mr. Super . . . at least the Swiffer will pick up the crumbs . . . .
ReplyDeleteAround here, it’s generally the coffee maker that gets banished to the graveyard of forgotten appliances.
I'd just stick with the broom too. This post is ample demonstration why.
ReplyDeleteOff Topic - Hank has a book signing today at 3pm at Titcomb's Bookshop in East Sandwich, MA.
I wonder if there's some other use you can find for a thing that dashes across the floor and bumps into things? There must be some perverse twist you can find on its original purpose.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I'm not sure there are any vacuums out there up to my dog hair challenge. My Dyson started making peculiar noises yesterday and then quit--and this was after I'd already run the shop vac over the floor to pick up the serious stuff. I can't imagine a little Roomba being equal to the job. Where would it put everything? (Note to those who are probably much tidier and completely appalled right about now--I have four dogs, two cats, and not a ton of time, most of which I'd rather spend in the garden or the laundry room.)
Gigi, we had a central vacuum put in our new house. It's the best thing ever, picks up everything, first pass over.
DeleteI have severe allergies, and having all the dirt and dust stored outside the house is fantastic. I wish I'd done this years ago.
Oh, that sounds lovely! Although I'm not sure my house could be retrofitted for that.
DeleteSo funny ! ( or not)
ReplyDeleteI'm not into too many electronic appliances myself. Sometimes, doing it by ourselves is more efficient and less stressing.
Being alone, I don't even use my dishwasher anymore. The little dishes I use can be washed after use and not being accumulated for days before the washing.
Have a good Sunday everyone !
Love this Rhys, it sounds like a children's book to me:)
ReplyDeleteIf there is an organization you don't particularly like, maybe you could donate it.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious, Jim.
DeleteBrilliant!
DeleteMaybe it started life as a cat toy?
ReplyDeleteUsually on Amazon you can see where something is coming from... I try to stick with USA... Both for quality and returnability
At least you can laugh about this craziness.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone, Rhys. I could pay for one of the Downton Abbey maids to live with me fulltime if I had back all the money I've wasted on too-good-to-be-true clunkers.
This is very funny. I am also now imagining it in my house, a century-plus old attached townhouse with two steep flights of stairs. Imagine the mayhem! (I just read yesterdays post about "things in the night" and I have a story to add. So I will.
ReplyDeleteRhys,
ReplyDeleteJust saw this before reading your post - thought you may be interested. The Best Robot Vacuums: https://thewirecutter.com/reviews/best-robot-vacuum/?utm_source=Wirecutter&utm_campaign=798ae393a2-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2019_10_17_06_25&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_bb5d08fe40-798ae393a2-90751677
LOL. Thanks so much for the Sunday morning laugh. I agree with Lucy/Roberta, it would be an perfect children's story, just the right amount of silly. Someone could do some great illustrations. I'd buy it for the grandsons! I love to hear them giggle.
ReplyDeleteSo funny! And the funniest part is imagining you watching it!
ReplyDeleteYikes! Rhys, thank you for letting us know. Now I am definitely NOT going to buy that. Although I love new gadgets, I am more selective. I was hesitant to buy that because I worry that I would trip over it!
ReplyDeleteThis would make a perfect children's stpry.
Diana
I've just about worn out one Roomba, and I understand the new ones are far better than the one I bought 15 years ago. It's an amazing thing, doesn't fall down stairs, cleans under beds very well, even good about corners and certainly doesn't spread bread crumbs. ON the other hand they start at $350 and go up from there. I have friends with five cats and four dogs, no kidding, and they just bought the Eufy for about $250 from Amazon, says it works great for those daily sweeps, geting under most furniture, but still need a good vacuuming once a week.
ReplyDeleteAs to what the Roomba does with what it picks up, the storage part isn't all that big, particularly if there is a lot of pet hair, so it needs emptying. Mine announces that fact and stops until I empty it.
The biggest disadvantage is that it doesn't discriminate between dry dirt, dust and hair and wet puke or poop, rare occasions, but can happen if you have a sick pet. Not a fun clean up, but I managed.
If I could afford the super dooper thousand dollar voice activated one, I'd be right out there buying one for each floor of the house. I think you can get one that scrubs floors too, but we already have one of those. Her name is Janette.
Rhys, so funny! But I wonder if your little vacuum was programming itself. They have to bump into things to learn their cleaning pattern. My daughter has a Roomba and it works really well for her, but it is a small house. We had a cheap knock-off years ago that got stuck everywhere, but I don't think the good ones do that anymore.
ReplyDeleteI swear by my Dyson Cordless V7. It's the only thing that keeps me from being buried in a daily sea of dog hair. In fact, we recently bought a new one and moved the older one upstairs.
LOL! This is totally something I would do. I feel your pain and bread crumbs.
ReplyDeleteIf you had a second Mr Super you could stage demolition derbies. I bought a basic Roomba on sale years ago. It worked well. I haven’t used it in forever since we moved and bought rugs for the floors. Basic Roomba can’t handle fringe.
ReplyDeleteI always figured even a real Roomba would bury itself under books, newspapers, and craft supplies. The Petster cat had enough trouble, but at least was entertaining. I had a cleaner come twice a month to the condo, and cleared out for hours until the dust settled. I opted for in-the-walls Beam vacuum and no carpets anywhere, so now can handle it myself. I get a kick out of using the old-fashioned hearth broom storyteller Stephen Hollen made for me to sweep wayward crumbs to the Beam opening by the trash can -- old and new working together. Perhaps the unsuitable technology can entertain as "white elephant" gifts. <3
ReplyDeleteI read this last night - California time, this morning and just now again. I can imagine our childhood cat, she was the dominant cat of our family and would have killed it instantly. My sister's cat would have swipped at it into it until it bled but my Granddad would have tried to fix it so it worked the way it was supposed to and then tossed it. Did you watch it with your feet tucked up while sitting at the kitchen table or from the top of the counter? Nice way to spend a quiet Sunday, envisioning the non-Rumba dancing cross Rhys' floor. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteDanielle-Momo, please use your dishwasher sometimes or get it taken out. My brother and sister-in-law never used theirs, and eventually it leaked in their kitchen. I would be afraid to have a robot. I have enough trouble with regular appliances!
ReplyDeleteThank you for a wonderful laugh. I imagined you, still recovering from your surgeries, watching Mr. Super with head in hand, thinking 'what's next, boredom shopping from QVC? This this what I have come to?'
ReplyDelete