RHYS BOWEN: My husband John reminded me the other day that he had lived through the war as a child. Everyone had faced nightly bombing raids, rushing to a shelter, grabbing the most precious items, just in case. "And we just got on with it," he said. "Nobody panicked. We got on with our lives." Of course he was a boy. He probably never noticed the anxiety on his mother's face as she strove to remain calm for her children. He thought it was a great lark to play on forbidden bomb sites. But I have to say that everything I've heard indicates that the Brits were remarkably calm and stoic throughout the whole ordeal. They didn't know when it would end or if it would end well. During the early years they fully expected Hitler to invade and had stockpiled pitchforks and garden tools to defend agains a mighty German army.
I have written several times about World War 2 but this experience has made it so personal for me. Now I can identify a little with what the people went through. We don't know how long this will go on or if it will end badly for some of us. It's an invisible enemy and there really isn't much we can do to protect ourselves other than staying home. There are those, as there were in WW2, who are openly defiant: this can't happen to me. Remember the scene in my book IN FARLEIGH FIELD when party goers dance on the rooftop as bombs fall nearby. Maybe defiance was good then, but it isn't now. Those young people who think they are safe are not. What's more it's as if they were carrying bombs into the houses of loved ones.
And so we soldier on, with good days and bad days, with days when we tell ourselves it's not so bad and days when we ask ourselves how long we can keep going.
So I'm going to remember that I'm British. Eccentric maybe, but
I will make my bed every morning.
I will dress properly, not stay in pjs all day. I read a book written by a young Brit who was stationed in Kenya a hundred years ago. He was the British officer for a vast territory, the only white man for miles around. And every evening he would put on his dinner jacket and bow tie and have a white tablecloth, silverware all correct and sit alone to eat in his mud hut, even if the food was yams and bush cow, because he knew if he let standards slip it would be the end of him.
I try to remember that. I saw a post by Laura Lippman today that she is putting on a lovely outfit for a few minutes every day. And make-up. I think I'll try that and take a picture every day. Time to experiment with the strange cosmetics at the back of my drawer. We have time, remember?
And a final word of encouragement:
I think you’re right, Rhys. I, too, do all the daily chores and whatnot; it’s the everyday, normal things, I think, that will see us through . . . .
ReplyDeleteIt’s pretty much business as usual in our household without all the social interaction, of course. If I had kids here at home though, I probably would be searching for a hidey hole to disappear in from time to time.
ReplyDeleteOne positive thing I’ve noticed. Fewer robo calls.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that there are fewer robo calls.
DeleteI noticed that too! And less spam
DeleteI bet the robo calls are done just like legitimate sales calls - everyone sitting together in a room. That's a LOT of potential exposure to land one mark out of every 10,000 calls, or whatever the statistics are.
DeleteHowever, we MUST watch out for scammers who claim to offer free testing for COVID 19.
DeleteDiana
Rhys, I have been thinking of the Stiff Lip philosophy. And I remember asking Jacqueline Winspear at the writing conference about how her grandparents handled things and she said they just got on with it. I also was reminded of the Maggie Hope books with that quote "Keep Carrying On" or as Winston Churchill said "Keep Plodding On".
ReplyDeleteThese are strange times with the COVID - 19 pandemic on s global scale. And the shelter in place. That's a great idea about getting dressed anyway. I was reminded of a story about the Queen Mother. Even if she was having breakfast by herself, she always got dressed up.
Diana
p.s. If you click on Bibliophile, there is a new post today :-). I shared a YouTube video of a Deaf actress signing a children's story. I was wishing that the Instagram #saveyourstories would have videos of deaf actors narrate stories in Sign Language.
DeleteThat is if you are interested in seeing stories narrated in Sign Language. It helps if you already know the story.
I do think there's a lot to be said for routine and getting on with it (although all that needs to be done in your home now). I have found that when I get dressed and get outside for fresh air, I actually feel better. The other day I put makeup on, and I felt almost normal, although I'm enjoying not feeling the need to wear makeup every day. The cooking helps because it's a form of getting on with it, using your resources and doing something productive.
ReplyDeleteAnd, while I've remained fairly calm (helped by living in a state where our governor is doing a great job), I don't know if I'll ever be the cool cucumber like the woman in the photo sitting on a pile of rubble having a cup of tea. Rhys, that's a picture that definitely says "getting on with it."
I agree that is a picture that definitely says "getting on with it". We are lucky with our governors. I live in a state where our governor is doing an excellent job, imho. It helps me stay calm.
DeleteI do get dressed every day, because I go outside for my walk. I'm not much of a dressed-up type even in normal days, so that's not going to happen. My dining table stays dressed up, though, with flowers and a nice tablecloth. When I sit down for lunch, and when Hugh and I eat dinner together every night, I want it to be special.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to hang onto small victories, like successfully setting up mailing books from home. And I'm also trying not to squander this opening for new story ideas to rise up.
Edith, can you share how you mail books from home? My daughter has an eBay business and I, of course, will be mailing out books shortly, and I'd love to know if its possible to skip the post office.
DeleteJulia, all you need is a scale to weigh the package. Go to usps.com and it is very simple. Use media rate for books. Then pop your package in your mailbox.
DeleteI set up with XPS Shipper. Their customer support is FABULOUS - I've called five times since Friday and I always get a really helpful human immediately. I can select Media Mail, I can print labels on paper and tape them on or on Avery labels (I have some ordered), and all I have to do is drop the packages in a post box. The regular post boxes around here have gone to skinny slots, but I can mail at the PO without going inside. Whew!
DeleteEven though I have been stuck at home alone for the past 2 weeks, I certainly have not changed my routine about making my bed, and getting dressed as usual. No one will see me but that does not matter...this is normalcy for me.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have learned that I am pretty stoic and strong. I made it through dealing with my broken ankle for months on my own, and I can make it through the isolation and this current illness. Of course, I have some bad days but more good ones than not.
Connecting via FB and JRW certainly helps deal with the isolation since my other main social connection is on hold (Meetup groups - hiking and walking groups).
Grace, do check out talking via Skype or meeting up with friends via Zoom. I've been surprised how mood-lifting it is to simply see other faces in real time.
DeleteThanks for the suggestion, Julia, but most of my friends are technophobes and are not on FB, let alone Skype or Zoom! A phone call is another alternative way to connect, but no seeing faces!
DeleteGrace, I learned how resilient I became after losing my hearing when I was two years old. I just got on with it. I learned how to walk again. Julia 's suggestion is great! If I may add to Julia's suggestion, FaceTime is another wonderful way to connect. I have been using Face Time and texting my family / friends.
DeleteDiana
Diana, I agree that we are resilient to injury, sickness and trauma, esp when young. Thanks for the Facetime suggestion but again, my family members have no computers/smartphone/internet, so that is not an option.
DeleteGrace, I am still new to FaceTime. I know some people who do not have computers / smartphone / internet. Hope you can talk to your family members on the phone ? The Jungle Reds community is wonderful. So glad we all can connect here!
DeleteDiana
Keep on keepin' on comes to mind. Yesterday while sitting in meditation I had the insight, "It is not about me It is about us. Sheltering in place makes me realize how grateful I am that I genuinely like my daughter. I feel such compassion for those who can't escape from people they hate, or people who are threats. I fall back on the concepts of interdependence and impermanence. Through forced isolation we learn the importance of connection. Understanding that nothing is fixed, permanent means nothing lasts forever; not even Covid19.
ReplyDeleteAnd I did figure out Zoom. May you all walk in beauty today.
Can you imagine Coralee, if you were sheltering with people you disliked? or of whom you were afraid? yikes
DeleteRoberta, is that going to be a book?
DeleteJudy, I suspect in three or four years you will be able to read every permutation on life during the coronavirus you can possibly imagine.
DeleteJulia, I may not want to. LOL
DeleteStay safe and well. Can hardly wait for your book next week.
I have always loved this quote from Colleen McCullough: "Isn't it a rare pleasure to discover that one genuinely likes one's child? To love one's child is natural. But liking? Liking has to be earned."
DeleteBecause I walk the dogs daily, staying in my jammies isn't an option. However, I'd get dressed anyway. And make my bed. My friend Victor says that if you make your bed, it looks as if you cleaned house. I'm not sure about that, but I can't bear an unmade bed.
ReplyDeleteA little sunshine would help up here on the tundra -- really a taiga but tundra is easier to spell -- but we are the place that "April showers bring May flowers" is all about. Little things are blooming, like our forsythia and a few grape hyacinths and tons of snow drops and scilla and the odd early daffodil.
Yesterday our library put out a call for mystery writers that they might not have on their shelves. I sent them some names off the top of my distracted head, and today I will send them more. Of course I'll make sure the Jungle Reds are well represented.
"like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies;"
Thanks Ann, we will appreciate that!
DeleteI was talking about this very topic with my mother the other day, who lived through WWII in England. She said the big difference, in her view, is that during the war everyone gathered together to rally spirits and shelter together in the Underground and elsewhere. With COVID-19, we are apart. And that's so unusual for so many of us. On a good day, my upper lip is stiff and I just carry on; but yesterday, I felt off all day and, while I did just carry on, it was tough.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I stick to the routine of making the bed and getting dressed every day -- those video calls with colleagues keep me honest!
It is normal to have some bad days. When I have one , I give myself the permission to live it , knowing that I have what it takes to go through.
DeleteThat is such a good attitude, Danielle, and great advice. Thank you!
DeleteYour first picture is haunting me, so striking. Not at all my style, no stiff upper lip.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a formal kind of woman, I get dressed to walk but very simply as usual . I live a simple life in general and will continue to do so.
Rhys, to which newspaper in Montreal did you give your interview yesterday ?
I woke up this morning feeling very homesick...but for what? Not chilly CT where the virus is worse. I think it was homesick for normal. So a dose of stiff upper lip is in order!
ReplyDeleteAww, Roberta, it must really suck to be sheltering in place in Key West. With your beloved husband and your adorable cat. I'm crying real tears.
DeleteSeriously, though, I think we all need to focus on what's right with our worlds instead of bemoaning the lack of toilet paper and the fact that it will take a full week before I can pick up my groceries. Or, to quote Christopher Fry, "The best we can do is make wherever we are lost in look as much like home as we can."
Ive been feeling homesick for my California house. I love it here in AZ but this house is new and doesn’t have a history to it yet. Nor does it have years of accumulated memories ( and stuff)
DeleteI’m handling the isolation easier than my extrovert husband. He is beginning to have cabin fever. I always make my bed and my style of dress hasn’t changed since I wear yoga pants all the time now that I’m retired. My insomnia is much worse now with anxiety skyrocketing when I read the news.
ReplyDeleteTeri, I was saying to the Smithie that I felt so much busier than usual. Then I realized I was fielding calls/texts/emails/Zoom invitations from all my extroverted friends who are going crazy being stuck at home! Those of us who are "curl up with a book and a cup of tea" types are better able to handle it.
DeleteAlso, I highly recommend going on a news diet. My anxiety was off the charts and I'm not a naturally anxious person. I stopped going through the NY Times and the WaPo first thing in the morning and constantly refreshing Twitter looking for the latest. Now I limit myself to NPR while I'm cooking dinner and a few stories in the newspaper in the evening, when I'm already relaxed. I'm also reading the local new more, because it focuses on things I actually need to know - our governor's latest orders, for instance - and not terrible things happening far away.
I’ve started the no news diet too, Julia! Too much snxiety
DeleteYes, I agree! I get dressed every day, and fix my hair and put on a tiny bit of make up. We have flowers too. Definitely making the bed, definitely. And keeping everything very tidy and super clean. Cooking takes up a lot more time than usual, and time seems to be going by very very quickly. Somehow, so far, I am even busier than usual. How did that happen? I think we are all still acclimating, you know?
ReplyDeleteI have pretty much kept my daily routines intact, from bed-making on. And I get dressed every day in real clothes, but not as nice as what I wear to the office. I draw the line at makeup, though. I consider that my one little indulgence of the COVID-19 lockdown: I refuse to do full-on makeup until it ends. (Notice I did qualify a little, because in early Zoom meetings I noticed my eyes disappeared behind my glasses, so if I know I will be on video that day I have been just touching on a quick swipe of mascara. It seems to me to solve the problem without feeling like I have really dealt with makeup.)
ReplyDeleteToday is kind of a red-letter day because I have three - THREE - video meetings with people other than just my co-workers. I am actually wearing jewelry! (I kind of wish they hadn't all landed on the same day, so I would have felt this motivated three times instead of one.)
Jewellery for sure. I make a point of putting on earrings every day. No, not the heirloom emerald drops. Just my usual fun stuff, like cats or turtles.
DeleteOh, man! Go for the heirloom emerald drops! At least once.
DeleteI remember a family stories about the WW2 Homefront: victory gardens, Nazi sub patrol on the Cape Cod beaches, blackout curtains, meat, sugar, and gas rationing, rayon stockings instead of silk, the woman who could "turn a heel" while knitting socks in a movie theatre. Fear of who would die in battle, families separated with government jobs at undisclosed locations. Uncertainty with a can-do and make-it-work attitude. And here we are, with the assistance of the internet and cable TV, making it work again, state governors as our leaders, supplying accurate public health information (at least in Ohio). And children covering their driveways with chalk drawings.
ReplyDeleteI think the difference was they were all busy. They had purpose. Being stuck and inactive is hard
DeleteI've kept my same routine. I get up between 6:30 and 7 (okay that's a smidge later as I was getting up at 6, but without the alarm clock that's when I wake up). The dog doesn't know "pandemic," he still wants to be fed. I don't get dressed up with makeup, but I do get out of my pj's. I make the bed. I have real meals instead of grazing all day.
ReplyDeleteIt's weird having so many people in the house, but at least we are mostly in our own spots all day, not right on top of each other.
The hard part is keeping my son's spirits up. His senior year of high school is NOT turning out the way he expected.
I shared a Facebook memory today: "It'll all be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end" - John Lennon He was a Brit - he should know I guess. :)
My sister was just talking about this yesterday. She and her husband are retired, but even so, their daily routines are off. She said, we need to get up, get a good breakfast, have a real lunch and dinner. No more snacking throughout the day because it's easier. Then we'll have more energy, it will be easier to cope.
ReplyDeleteI've pretty much kept to routine, up and dressed, bed made, meals about the same time. The pets help--they expect to be fed at their normal time. There have been mornings when I simply wanted to pull the covers over my head and stay there all day. It would be a little easier if we'd just get some of that sunshine that Ann is wishing for, too.
Flora, its the first sunny day since Friday here in southern Maine, and it makes a world of difference. Inside the house, which was built before electricity, our large window are letting in light everywhere. And with the sun out, I actually want to go outside and do some simple yard chores!
DeleteJulia, exactly! Sunlight opens up the house and everyone feels the urge to be out and doing something.
DeleteWhen I get on FaceTime to teach my granddaughter I’m dressed, hair combed ... not going to be dancing with friends on the roof any time soon!!
ReplyDeleteYou have a great reason to be up and active. And such
DeleteA treat for your grandchildren too. They’ll remember this forever
I am having a problem. I thought that we would tackle some house-jobs here while we are stuck at home. Closets. Basement. Cleaning. Discarding old stuff. All I'm doing is reading this blog, almost every day, and reading books constantly. I have accomplished much reading of Jungle Reds. Writing an occasional review on Amazon, 'cause I promised. But, I can't make myself do those projects nor exercise, which I should do besides the walks with the dog.
ReplyDeleteToday, we both got up early, split up and went searching for tp. The store I went to had both tp and paper towels and tissues, too. I bought tp.
Roberta, yeah I understand why you aren't homesick for CT, it has been so rainy and cool here. When the sun is shining, it makes a big difference in how you feel.
Looking forward to Julia's book next week. Still catching up on Her Royal Spyness and the Hat Shop mysteries. All caught up with Lucy/Roberta's Key West Mysteries so waiting for summer!
But, I really need to clean up and do the projects here. Seeing everyone here using this time to make their homes lovely, I should, too.
Just peck away at it Judy. If you're really enjoying the escape offered by reading, enjoy, and don't feel guilty. Feed your soul for a while, and, eh, maybe put the vacuum near a hall or bedroom that needs it so you can hit a lick the next time you get up for a potty break. You have time. You'll get it done eventually.
DeleteWe are supposed to be restraining the front door. It hasn’t happened yet!
DeleteRhys, I hope you meant RESTAINING, and not that your front door is trying to get away! That gave me my first good chuckle of the day!
DeleteI know how my front door feels, Debs. But it is indeed re-staining my auto correct changes it every time I type. Grrrr
DeleteI think we need to have fun with this. Seriously. Look for the laugh. Indulge in the eccentric. Do things that lighten your heart. As I advised Susan, above, wear the emerald drop earrings. Color coordinate your pjs with them. Be fabulous. If you don't think you've ever been fabulous before (you have) learn to recognize it in yourself.
ReplyDeleteI spend a lot of free time of Facebook, but I skip right over the exponential curve posts and the political angst. I took the landscape challenge and was delighted to see all the places my friends have been. I post things that make me laugh because we all need a laugh. I post new things I have learned. For instance, did you know that tea is gluten free? Did you know that people need to be told that?
Also, be nice. Scatter gratuitous compliments to your friends. Give people good news. For instance, if Annette Dashofy is out there, I'm closing in on the end of your second Zoe Chambers book, thoroughly enjoying it, and planning to order the third.
This is all okay. It means you stay home, where most of us say we want to be anyway, you learn new things, like ordering groceries online, and you adapt, or die. Dying isn't fun so adapt cheerfully!
Thanks, Gigi. I needed that.
DeleteGoing out for a walk now.
Love your attitude, Gigi. Thanks for the booster shot. Today is much better for me than yesterday...ups and downs, go with them, this too shall pass, etc. In the meantime, I love reading this blog every day and seeing what everyone is contributing. And I am loving Pluto the Dog (PlutoLiving) online -- such a cute and wise little Schnauzer. Makes me laugh out loud!
DeleteAnything that makes you laugh out loud is a good thing, Amanda.
DeleteI'm getting dressed every day, doing my usual 3 minute make-up routine and putting on jewelry. I, too, noticed that if I did a FaceTime or Zoom call without make-up and/or jewelry I looked washed out. Having some sparkle these days is an absolute necessity for me!
ReplyDeleteRe: Laura Lippman putting on fancy clothes, I had a similar thought yesterday while putting away laundry. While I perused the clothing in my closet that I would normally wear to church or when I go out socializing I thought maybe I should get into those items. So that's something to put on my pared down "To Do List."
Needs must, right? There's no point getting frazzled over things you can't do anything about, I guess. We are mostly sticking to our normal routine, but it's not that different for us as mostly retired folk. I am homesick for my old gardens, though.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I am really trying hard not to freak out. In addition to my oldest daughter battling pneumonia as a side effect of the virus (she's a nurse), now my middle daughter has shortness of breath out in Oregon. Worst of all, my baby great niece (Bella's baby sister, if you've followed the Fashionista's adventures on my Facebook page) is so I'll she's been admitted to Children's Hospital. We are all terribly worried about her.
So yesterday we drove the 40 miles to our farm to destress a bit. We took a long and revitalizing wildflower hike last evening, and I've been watching nature from the house this morning. It's helped lower my anxiety and blood pressure.
Sending you hugs and good wishes for your daughters and baby great niece. Keep us posted! xx
DeleteThanks, Debs. My oldest says she is doing fine, but she's in strict quarantine at home for two weeks. And started telehealth sessions with her patients yesterday.
DeleteThe baby Olivia is in ICU, but my nephew and his wife are both with her. I'm relieved, because adult patients right now are not allowed a single visitor, not even during surgeries or labor and delivery.
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DeleteKaren, I'm so sorry. Sending you a big hug. Does the baby have the virus or another condition?
DeleteEvery morning I have a discussion with myself about whether or not to make the bed.
ReplyDelete“No one will know. Why bother?”
“I’ll know. I’m worth the effort.”
“But we could do so much with that extra time!”
“What are we going to do with 2 minutes?”
So far I’ve made the bed everyday, and I actually dress for work on the days I have online classes— make up, bra, the whole nine yards. The other days I at least get out of pajamas and into sweat pants!
Sunny here in central California with temps expected to be upper seventies or lower eighties, The month of March was cold and dreary here, which is unusual. We had summer weather most of February, which made the March weather so much harder. Sun makes everything better. Social distancing appears to be working here, we aren’t experiencing the spike in cases like New York. Our shelter in place order has been extended to May 1st.
ReplyDeleteRhys, that was a lovely essay. I've been thinking a lot too about the war and rationing. Not that I think any of us are going to run out of food, but it's the uncertainty of not knowing what you can get, or when. And of course the uncertainty of wondering if you, or people you love, will get sick. I love those photos, too! I think I'll dig out my copy of Few Eggs and No Oranges by Vera Hodgson. It's a diary of her time in Notting Hill during the Blitz.
ReplyDeleteAs for routine, I always get dressed, no pjs for me. I have to go out with the dogs first thing in the morning. And I always make the bed. My routine hasn't changed all that much, it's just all the distractions are getting to me. Inspired by the comments this morning, I did put on a little lipstick and blush, so maybe I will do a video chat with someone later.
I loved that book,Debs. I have it at home in California, along with some other wartime diaries.
DeleteOh, and last night at 9 p.m. we got a grocery delivery that had been scheduled for this Friday! Yay for Central Market (H.E.B.) This family owned chain of stores has been amazing organized and prepared. I got flour, butter, sugar, salt, and yeast, none of which I'd been able to find. And two jars of pasta sauce!
ReplyDeleteAn excllent essay, Rhys. Thank you.I am finding that getting something (anything!) done is what makes the difference for me. Instead of wandering around in a fog.Being retired from day job and home writing, I don't really dress many days even in ordinary time. Not pj's but comfy exercise pants and old shirts, so I don't need to change that. But I did put on nicer things, from the skin out, one day recently, including a linen shirt and earrings and yes! I did feel better.and I'm cracking my own whip to get back to writing every day.And I hope you will all be impressed? My husband brought home 3 large shopping bags of photos from his deceased mother's apartment. They were sitting in my living room. And we have made real progress sorting them out. How's that for accomplishing something? :-)
ReplyDeleteWell done, Triss. I'm about to sand and re-stain our front door (which auto correct kept trying to call restrain)
DeleteBrilliant post, Rhys! Everything I've read about that time is exactly as you said - stiff upper lip and all! These are strange days, indeed. Kind of weird to watch my Dad's eyebrows appearing on my forehead, but I suppose if I stay healthy a unibrow is a small price to pay.
ReplyDeleteYes, I make the bed and get dressed every day. I try to do things other than my normal reading, watching TV, and being on the computer but I found out the first week that housework every day makes me feel punished. Love the free Grokker exercise videos on Comcast OnDemand.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the difference between now and World War II is that people were all together working towards a common goal. Now we're apart not really doing anything. Disease is not the same as a war.
Laundry is in the dryer, gotta time those things in apartment living and now there additional limitations for use of the room. I read your piece, Rhys and thought of my mom's best friend. She survived Nazi occupied Holland and is now, at 93, trapped in an assisted living facility. We are all holding out breath. Just as this adventure started I pulled out my Scarab ring for St. Pat's Day, it's about the only green I own. Actually it's my mom's ring, it doesn't fit me. I have to put another little ring underneath it so it doesn't fall off my hand but I haven't taken it off. Just saw a little piece about Piper of the Castro. There is this guy who goes up on the roof of his building at dusk and plays his bagpipes for the community. The guy is our family friend Hal Wilkes. It's the little things that can bring a smile.
ReplyDeleteI'm wearing all that nice jewelry that I couldn't risk wearing on the subway!
ReplyDelete