HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Remember…events? I gave a TedX talk—maybe two months ago (here it is) in front of 850 people. All side by side, in the same room. It was—current events aside—terrifying. Exhilarating, when it was over. But terrifying at the time, and super stressful in the months of preparation before. But overcoming the apprehension was so much of the battle.
And there were moments when I thought—Toastmasters. Toastmasters. The Toastmaster people know what to do. Why did I never do that? But it was too late.
The wonderful Grace Topping, though, was way WAY ahead of me. Grace—who is so wonderful, and so genuine, and so authentic, and it was such a joy, I remember so well, when she got her first contract, and her first book came out. To such acclaim! And she’s a Toastmaster graduate. Smart Grace!
Well, now she’s a veteran author, and a dear sister Guppy, yay, and hurray, her brand new STAGING WARS is out right now! And we are so thrilled to celebrate her. And I love this story about how she was brave, and nimble and then—trusted herself and succeeded.
Writer and Now Speaker
I was absolutely thrilled when my first book was published. I finally had become a published writer.
The icing on the cake came when my hometown library invited me to attend a meeting of their Friends of the Library group, followed by a meeting of the library’s book club, whose members would be discussing my book. Back-to-back sessions.
Since I had spent years working on the book, I knew it inside and out and would be well prepared to answer any questions I received about my characters and the plot. Did I say that it took me ten years to get published?
On the day of my first public appearance, I sat outside the library’s meeting room and waited for the business portion of their meeting to be over. Excitement bubbled up inside of me, and I wondered what they would say about my book. Book clubs take the selection of the books they discuss seriously and usually select pretty serious books. What would they make of my cozy mystery? What if they didn’t like it?
At the appointed time, the head librarian came out and escorted me into the room and toward a lectern facing about forty people. After she introduced me, she leaned toward me and quietly said, “You have an hour.”
Yikes!
They were all expecting a speech—and for an hour. My heart nearly stopped, and at that point, I wished that it had. Then they could have carried me out of there, and I wouldn’t be facing an audience totally unprepared. No speech, no notes, not one iota of an idea of what I was going to say.
I was a writer, accustomed to spending hours each day in the isolation of my office—not a public speaker. I had conducted training sessions at my job, but at those sessions I had a written presentation or detailed notes. Now I was facing a large room of people who were expecting me to give an informative, entertaining, and perhaps witty speech. Oh, my.
Sadly, my heart kept on beating, so I had to stay. Did I say my two sisters had accompanied me to my first public appearance? I couldn’t let them down. After a space of time that felt like five years but was really only seconds, I grasped the lectern to hold myself up, smiled at the people in front of me, and started to speak.
Early in my career, I had joined a Toastmasters’ group at my place of work—a group whose goal is to help people learn how to speak in public. Because after all, I never knew when I might have to defend myself in court for a speeding ticket or give a eulogy at a funeral. I wanted to be prepared. At the meetings, I delivered my icebreaker speech and survived.
After that I learned to think quickly on my feet by participating in table topics—being asked questions related to a theme and expected to speak for one or two minutes. I learned to make the audience feel comfortable by not stating how nervous I was or apologizing if I flubbed something. I learned to scan all areas of the room, making eye contact with members of the audience. I even learned how to handle a heckler or someone who interrupted my speech. But that had been years ago.
Fortunately, the things I learned from Toastmasters came flooding back quickly, and after a few of the things I said evoked some laughs, I relaxed and the words began to flow. I decided to take a chronological approach and started talking about what prompted me to write a mystery, how I got started, what challenges I faced along the way. The audience was receptive to what I had to say, and before I knew it, an hour was nearly up.
After the applause died down, thankfully there was applause, I looked heavenward and said a silent thank you to whatever had guided me to that first Toastmasters meeting.
Now all I had to do was recover and do the same thing at the book club meeting that followed.
Fortunately, I was prepared. I’d become a public speaker.
Have you ever found yourself in a position where you had to give a speech?
Leave a comment to be entered in a drawing for a digital copy of Staging Wars (USA only).
HANK: Great question! Tell us about your speaking moments—best? Or worst? Triumphs? Who have you seen who was fabulous? And Grace, hurray! Tell us more about your book!
Laura Bishop’s new home staging business is growing in popularity, though not with her nemesis. Laura has long suspected established interior designer Monica Heller of sabotaging her fledgling company—and having an affair with her late husband.
When the ultra-chic Monica is caught at the scene of a murder, Laura is plenty happy to imagine her languishing in a prison cell with bedsheets far from her normal 600-thread Egyptian cotton. But her delight is short-lived.
When Laura’s friends land on the police radar, Laura must overcome her dislike of Monica to help solve the crime. Not an easy task since Laura and Monica have been at war since second grade.
Grace Topping is a recovering technical writer and IT project manager, accustomed to writing lean, boring documents. Let loose to write fiction, she is now creating murder mysteries and killing off characters who remind her of some of the people she dealt with during her career. Fictional revenge is sweet. She’s using her experience helping friends stage their homes for sale as inspiration for her Laura Bishop mystery series. The series is about a woman starting a new career midlife as a home stager. The first book in the series, Staging is Murder, is a 2019 Agatha Award nominee for Best First Novel. Grace is the former vice president of the Chesapeake Chapter of Sisters in Crime, and a member of the SINC Guppies and Mystery Writers of America. She lives with her husband in Northern Virginia.
Webpage: www.gracetopping.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/gtoppingauthor
Purchase Links:
Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/staging-wars-grace-topping/1136278009?ean=9781635115918
Congratulations on your new book, Grace . . . Laura definitely sounds like someone I’d like to meet.
ReplyDeleteWell, if I was speaking to a group of first graders, it would be easy, no problem at all.
But speaking to adults puts me into absolute panic mode: I need plenty of time to prepare, and a copy of exactly what I’m going to say. I am so not a public speaker . . . .
, Some people really do not love it… But I can speak into a class of kids is intimidating, too!
DeleteThanks, Joan. Speaking to a group of first graders has to be far harder--trying to keep them receptive and focused would be a challenge.
DeleteWow, I can't imagine being in that position. But it sounds like you handled it very well and were a huge hit. Congrats on pulling it off!
ReplyDeleteDoesn’t it sound scary?
DeleteThanks, Mark. We have to keep in mind that when we speak audiences want us to succeed. So we need to relax and enjoy it.
DeleteWow, Grace! It sounds like you can really think on your feet. And, your Laura Bishop series sounds so interesting. Home staging is an art I'd like to know more about.
ReplyDeleteI love my high school days for many reasons, but one of the reasons is taking speech and being on the speech team and participating in speech competitions. I participated in two different categories, as the different team members tended to find their specialty and stick with it. I can't remember what one of the categories was called (it's called something different today), but it involved reading, actually not reading so much as having memorized and telling, a prose selection. In my case it was The Awful Fate of Melpomenus Jones by Stephen Leacock, a short selection that was humorous. I became quite comfortable performing this piece and received superior ratings at regional and state. I tell you the ratings only because it was something I worked hard at and was proud of. Then, there was the category called simply Discussion. The first time I competed in this one, I wasn't sure what I was doing. It was an individual competition, but within a group, and we were given a category to discuss with the other group members. I was able to get a superior for one reason, and that was I quickly recognized that there was no organization to the discussion and organized it. Those speech competitions were great confidence builders. Of course, my lack of fear in talking in front of people is also due to that wonderful world of reading. I loved to read out loud as a child (and now), and I always wanted to be called on in class to do so. That gets you into the practice of speaking in front of others, too.
However, there has been one arena of speaking in which I was extremely nervous, and that was the Bouchercon panel I was on in St. Pete. I enjoyed it, but my nerves showed and my organization pretty much went out the window. Actually, my enthusiasm got the better of me, causing me to blather a bit. Oh, well, next time, I know more what to expect and feel my love of speaking out will be more controlled.
Kathy, I was at your Bouchercon panel at St. Pete's, and you were great! I could not tell it was your first time on a panel...your enthusiasm for books shone through!
DeleteThank you, Grace K for that dose of reality.! I am certain she did not blather! It is almost hilarious to think about… We are all too critical of ourselves!
DeleteHi, Kathy. You were brave speaking in high school. At my school they called it Forensics, I believe. The closest I got to participating was being a time keeper. At Bouchercon, the audience probably wasn't even aware that you were nervous. They probably just saw how enthusiastic you were about your writing.
DeleteAw, Grace, you are so sweet to say that. It means the world to mean to hear it. Hank, we do seem the first to think we could do better and not be satisfied with ourselves. Of course, I can't imagine a better public speaker than you, which is why so many awards and gatherings want you to be the MC. Grace, it helped that I attended a small high school, where everybody knew one another.
DeleteHank, I meant to add that I will be listening to your TEDx Talk tomorrow. I need to go to bed now. Also, here's a link to The Awful Fate of Melpomenus Jones that I mentioned above. It's a cute little piece, and there are even some graphic comic depictions of it.
ReplyDeletehttps://americanliterature.com/author/stephen-leacock/short-story/the-awful-fate-of-melpomenus-jones
Oh, off to look at it! And I’d love your feedback… Such a scary speech! No notes, no papers, no prompter. Just memorization!
DeleteCongratulations, Grace on your second book!
ReplyDeleteI am a strong introvert and speaking in public has always been hard. For work, I often had to give 15-20 minute presentations but I was well prepared. Guest lectures for university classes were harder since the class lasted about 1-2 hours. And believe me, it takes a lot more time to prepare for an hour lecture than a 15 minute presentation!
I don't do as well when I have to speak off the cuff (in public). I wish I had joined Toastmasters when I had the chance. Good to see that all that Toastmaster prep came back for your library presentation.
Yes, everyone I know who has taken Toastmasters is so pleased with it!
DeleteThanks, Grace. Over the years I can't tell you how many times I've said, "Thank God for Toastmasters." I never saw any member that didn't improve by participating.
DeleteMy late husband joined Toastmasters right after he was hired for his first job as a litigator in one of Maine's biggest firms. It's not that Ross was introverted, as those of you who met him at Bouchercon can attest, but like many people, he froze up when speaking in public - not a winning trait for someone who has to try cases in open court!
DeleteToastmasters made a world of difference to him, both professionally and personally. I can't say enough good about the organization.
Like riding a bike, Grace? I'm so glad you could rely on those skills to feel comfortable. I've given so many author talks by now, I sometimes don't bring notes, either. I love the little tips I learned from friends who also completed Toastmasters, like thanking whoever invited you at the start of your talk, staying at the podium until the next speakers arrives, and more.
ReplyDeleteSo agree… I used to faithfully bring my notes, and now I only need them at the beginning of a tour and my speech is brand new. Wonder if that will ever happen again :-(
DeleteHi, Edith. Yes, like riding a bike. I almost used that analogy in my post. I find myself evaluating speakers and commenting to myself that they left the lectern unattended. LOL.
DeleteGrace, welcome. Your book sounds like so much fun. Having been a realtor, I'll confirm that staging a home before it goes on the market is just money in the bank. There are businesses here that specialize in that. Love the premise of enmity between Laura and Monica since second grade. Delicious. You can really dig a lot of dirt over the years.
ReplyDeleteFor about 12 years, I was point person for a national women's organization here in Connecticut. I lead delegations of members to our capitol and to DC and spoke to legislators, both here and in Washington on behalf of the organization. When the organization developed a national campaign, they brought 30 leaders to Washington for professional spokesperson training. I had several assignments to go speak to groups around the Northeast about the topic we were advocating. I always had a very concise speech written which I would practice for days. Then, I was on my own fielding questions. But, by then, I knew the topic thoroughly and easily carried on with that portion of the event.
That experience was amazing and opened a lot of doors for me within the organization. I sat on their national board and got some pretty juicy assignments representing that organization in some powerful forums. It was probably the headiest thing I've ever done.
So Grace, it helps to know just what you are talking about and you knew your story exactly. That is what mattered to the people attending your first appearance. You let them get to know you and that is a pretty special gift from an author.
That's such a cool history Judy!
DeleteYes, it is really powerful feeling to have that confidence. And what a cool story, Judy!
DeleteAgree about staging. When I sometimes pop in to an open house in my neighborhood just to look and it's a house people are still living in, I shudder. No! Put away all those tchotkes, the hockey sticks, the knitted afghan. People need to be able to imagine themselves in the house. Personal stuff just detracts. And we won't even get into paint colors and bad wallpaper...
DeleteThanks, Judy. I think at birth if we were given a choice of two talents that would most benefit us, being able to write well and speak effectively would be the two most powerful choices we can make.
DeleteWelcome Grace, and congratulations on your book.
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those who loves the sound of her own voice, so public speaking is a piece of cake for me, or at least it was. I haven't had the opportunity in a long time.
But give me any group and I can hold forth on things I love and believe in until someone drags me off the stage!
Such a skill! I would love to hear that!
DeleteAnn, you are too funny. Knowing when to stop speaking before we start losing our audience should probably be in a speakers tip book.
DeleteCongratulations on your new release!
ReplyDeleteWe need to get Grace to tell us more, though, right?
DeleteThanks, Margaret. The second book was much harder to write, especially in a series where there are so many expectations.
DeleteCongrats on the book Grace and welcome to JRW! I can remember my first book event for my first book as if it was yesterday. Even though it was a mass market paperback golf mystery, I had invited everyone I knew from every walk of life and almost 120 came. I was so nervous, but I'd prepared for that talk forever. And it was a blast!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to hear about your transition from technical writing to mysteries?
What a wonderful memory, Lucy/Roberta. Xxxx
DeleteThanks, Lucy. I've discovered that quite a few technical writers move into mystery writing. We all had so many frustrating things to deal with that (rapidly changing technology, being at the end of production with little time to meet deadlines, etc.) our thoughts frequently turned to murder.
DeleteWaving my hand. I'm also a recovering tech writer!
DeleteAnd we know, Edith, how often your thoughts turn to murder. You must have had some career as a tech writer.
DeleteCongrats on the second book, Grace! I will say I can speak off the cuff due to many years volunteering with the Army's family support program. I got pulled into a lot of talks. But I feel better about my performance when I have time to prepare.
ReplyDeleteAlways! Xxx
DeleteThanks, Liz. Well, one thing about that session, since I wasn't expecting to speak, I wasn't nervous beforehand.
DeleteGrace, I read Staging is Murder while we were in the long process of selling our home last year, so I am happy to know there is a second installment to Laura's business adventures.
ReplyDeleteA semester of speech in college was probably one of the most useful of all my classes. I was very timid then, and being made to give an extemporaneous speech in front of a class (of mostly men) was terrifying. A few years later, my mentor in the insurance business, in order to help me overcome even more of that shyness, had me call real estate offices and arrange to give 15-minute presentations at weekly sales meetings. I did over 20 of them to bored, uninterested realtors whose presence was required. It was a tough room, so I learned some tricks to grab the attention of an audience.
Right after I wrote my first book, but before it was published (rejected by 30 publishers, self-published at a time when that meant having thousands of books printed and delivered to one's home), I was invited to give a keynote speech at a convention. 400 souls in the audience, expecting me to speak intelligently. After that baptism by fire the next 20 years of lecturing around the country was a piece of cake.
Yes, it is quite the moment, all those faces looking up at you, expecting to be entertained brilliantly. Such a joy when it works!
DeleteOh, Karen, I sympathize with your past experience. I had a few occasions in my job when the group I was training or speaking to wasn't only unreceptive but they were almost hostile. Definitely baptism by fire. At least a group of readers who show up want to be there and want to hear you.
DeleteGrace, that's so interesting but I want to know more about staging. I guess that is something that happens in large cities because as far as I know it doesn't happen where I live and I have bought and sold several houses. Or maybe it's only for houses that are worth much more than mine. If I read your books I will probably find out, won't I?
ReplyDeleteI suppose I could speak in front of a group but I would not want to. I did speak at the B of E meeting and there were many other people there but I was only reading what I had written. Talking to my students wasn't the same at all.
Loved your talk, Hank, but that audience seems like it was made up of a bunch of stiffs, until the end at least. Wonder what they were expecting to hear. A group of your fans would have reacted much differently. And from the getgo!
Hi, Judi. Having a business doing staging is somewhat new in the past ten or fifteen years. Frequently, when no home staging business is in the area, real estate agents give advice to homeowners about what they can do to prepare their houses for sale. The major one is decluttering. I give tips on staging at the beginning of each chapter of my books. Things that homeowners can do for themselves and things home stagers can do for them.
DeleteThanks for that, Grace. Years ago when I was first looking to buy I learned about de-cluttering from what I saw in several houses. One house, you could hardly move there was so much stuff. Needless to say I didn't give any consideration to that one even though the location was good. I just couldn't see the potential behind their "treasures."
DeleteJudi, I have friends who sold their house in Portland with the help of a stager. They had a great location, with a view of a tidal river, but their house was built in the seventies - no avocado and harvest gold, but the layout was different than what many present day buyers have in mind - and they had lived there for thirty years, so their furniture was... comfortable.
DeleteThey stuck 90% of their things into storage and the stager did it up with hip midcentury and warm wooden minimalist things. All of a sudden, it looked like it ought to be in House Beautiful! It sold in four days.
As a former third-grade teacher, I feel as if I had trial by fire early on. Keeping 8-year-olds engaged is no mean feat. An HOUR is a really (really!) long time for a talk. My sweet spot is 25 minutes with 10-15 for questions. And it makes a difference whether they came to hear what YOU have to say on a particular topic versus you happen to be the luncheon speaker. THE best talk I ever heard was at a writing conference. Hugo-award winning author Mary Robinette Kowal -- a novelist and professional puppeteer--gave a talk with her puppet, and I think it was about finding your voice. It was at the Surrey Writers Conference a few years ago in Vancouver (Canada). I wish I could find a video of it online but I can't.
ReplyDeleteHi, Hallie. Facing a class of third graders had to be challenging. My sister taught third grade for over thirty years and said third grade was the best grade you could teach. They didn't need as much attention as the younger kids and hadn't become wise guys like the upper grades.
DeleteGrace, I loved STAGING IS MURDER and I’m happy to hear that you have a follow-up coming out soon. Congrats! I don’t mind speaking in front of a group if I’m prepared. I can answer questions without notes but no way to speaking for an hour without at least an outline. You had me laughing when you said, “Sadly, my heart kept on beating.” Lucky for your readers that it did!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ang, for your comments and for reading my book. Your book is in my kindle waiting for me to read it. The thing I kept thinking about was what would they want to hear about--probably how I was able to write and get a book published. So I started at the beginning and just about covered my whole career in that hour. Whew!
DeleteIt's so great to see a shout-out to Toastmasters. I'm not an author, but I've been a member of a Toastmasters club for 10 years, and it really helped me in my HR management career--speaking to groups and one-on-one. I wrote an article about Toastmasters and how it can help authors for the February 2020 issue of The Stiletta, our Sisters in Crime NorCal newsletter, of which I am the editor. You can check it out here (go to page 27): http://www.sincnorcal.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/February-2020-Stiletta-PDF-1.pdf. If that doesn't work, you can simply go to sincnorcal.org, click on the Newsletter tab, then the February 2020 link, and go to page 27.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Margie. I'll check it out. I'm always happy to give a shout-out to Toastmasters. Even if someone is comfortable speaking, membership gives you tips and techniques that makes you an even better speaker. It always gave me pleasure seeing my coworkers improve through Toastmasters.
DeleteThanks for sharing the link Margie...
DeleteOh yes! Thank you!
DeleteGrace, you were grace under fire! I'm glad those old skills came back, and I'm sure your speech was a delight. And I am glad you brought up not making the audience uncomfortable. One of my pet peeves as a listener is when authors complain: not enough sleep, not enough coffee, no time to prepare. No one wants to hear that.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with Book #2!
Thanks, Ramona. You are right--no one wants to hear about how nervous you are, etc. One helpful thing I learned is that a short pause to help collect my thoughts seems like years to the speaker but is barely noticed by the audience. Now if I could avoid using "ums" and "ahs," I would be a really terrific speaker.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGrace, welcome to Jungle Reds! I wonder if the librarian meant that you have five to ten minutes of speaking about your book then people can ask questions? I often go to book events where the author would speak about the book from 10 minutes to half an hour then people will ask questions. There were times when some people did not get a chance to ask questions because there was no time left.
ReplyDeleteAnd I remember you and I chatted in the Cozy Experience book chat about your book a while ago?
And congratulations on your book birthday!
Hope you and your family are sheltered in place and safe!
Diana
Could be. Goes to show you how green I was. I did get lots of questions afterwards, which was a good sign that they weren't anxious to get out of their. My husband and I are doing well sheltering in place--and we are actually still speaking to each other.
DeleteLearning experience, right? That's great many people had questions to ask you. And happy to hear that you and your husband are doing well with sheltering in place.
DeleteHappy Easter!
Diana
Wonderful to see you, Diana!
DeleteGrace, another way to stage real estate is virtually. It's not done much here in the Cincinnati area, but when we were selling our house last year I spent some time researching it. I'm wondering if you have thoughts about the difference.
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, I suspect the virtual stagers might be especially well-placed at the moment, considering the ramifications of this virus.
Now that's a new concept I hadn't heard of--virtually staging a house. It probably involves the homeowner giving the staging a virtual tour of the house and then the stager giving them advice what they can do themselves to get their place ready. The problem is most people have spent years getting their house just the way they want it, and it is painful for them to have someone tell them to change their place to appeal to someone else. One of the tips in my book is to start thinking like a home seller and not a homeowner.
DeleteIt can be that, but it usually involves electronic placement of furniture and accessories in photos of empty rooms. It can actually be difficult to tell whether the furniture is really there, or just virtual. Since most buyers look online first, photos are more important than ever.
DeleteHere in Ohio realtors are required to identify virtually staged homes, but not all states do.
That is such a brilliant idea!
DeleteYour book sounds wonderful, Grace! No public speaking for me, thank you very much! Oral book reports in elementary school and junior high were just torture. Although, giving the report wasn't so bad. It was the waiting and the anticipation of my turn to speak that was the killer. Like Kathy, I dabbled in speech tournaments one year in junior high only because someone slotted me into speech class as an elective. It wasn't MY elective! I survived. When our son was 3 I took on teaching an intro to accounting course at the local junior college at the last minute. I had a semester to semester job in the reading lab that had expanded to tutoring and helping students with their homework. Word got out I knew math and accounting, so I got lots of business. Anyway I was asked if I wanted to teach the summer school course as the teacher had taken a job elsewhere. I didn't want to but we had an unexpected hospital bill to pay. I worked my rear end off reading and preparing the lessons each night to present the following day. I was a good one on one tutor; as a teacher I was just so so. So all of you who can speak to a group with panache, I salute you!
ReplyDeleteHi, Pat -- It sounds like on each occasion you rose to the occasion. With practice and experience, most of us can speak in public. The second speech I gave at Toastmasters was so awful that I very nearly didn't go back again. Sure glad I did. I once had to give a presentation to senior managers at work. The overhead projector with all the Powerpoint presentation I had so carefully prepared weren't available. I looked at the audience and said, "You probably didn't want to look at those anyway. Let me tell you about our program." Fortunately, I had printed a copy of the slides and referred to them as I spoke. Afterwards I collapsed with a migraine, but I got through the briefing.
DeleteGrace, congratulations on your book being published. It must be such a thrill!
ReplyDeleteI have thankfully had very few instances where I've had to do any kind of official speaking showcase.
I don't attend speeches but if you want to include all the book signings I've gone then those speakers have always been great to listen to.
When I was a kid I was in Cub Scouts (try not to laugh at that notion) and at the monthly pack meeting they'd have people stand up and read something about different virtues. They always made me perform "Patience is a virtue..." I hated it and got even with them. I said, "Patience is a virtue...of which I have little of." Never had to do it again.
When my basketball mentor Tony Dias died, I attended his funeral. His son gave the eulogy, but I was really fond of Mr. Dias and though I didn't SPEAK it, I wrote my own version of a eulogy. I sent it to a couple of people who got back to me and said I made them cry. One asked permission to send it to the family and I was told they actually thought my eulogy was better than what his own son had said. It was published in the local paper.
The one real speech I had to give was one I would definitely rather have not had to do. My father was honored at the home where he lived as a kid after he died. They wanted someone to speak for the family and I was chosen. I wrote the eulogy myself and worked my ass off on it. When it came time, I gave it in front of a sizeable audience (it was a kind of homecoming weekend for the school). It went well but not something I would want to have to do again.
Those here that are friends of mine on Facebook saw a portion of that speech on my page when I used part of it remember my dad on what would of been his birthday about three weeks ago. Deborah Crombie commented that my words (and the photo that went with it) were lovely, so I guess that's author approved!
Jay, you did something that I don't think I could have done--give eulogies. I cry very easily and probably wouldn't be able to get through it without breaking down in sobs. I don't look forward to the day when I might be faced with that. Well done, you.
DeleteOh, yes, Jay, that's the hardest speech of all to give. I've never done a eulogy, and I don't think I ever could - if I was close enough to the person being remembered, I don't think I could keep from weeping (I'm definitely a weeper.)
DeleteI wrote the eulogy for my youngest sister. I don’t think I could have delivered it though. Fortunately my big brother volunteered to do it and did a fine job.
DeleteImpressive fast thinking on your feet! Well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Libby. It's probably easier when you know the subject well. Maybe not so easy if it speaking about something you don't know as well.
DeleteCongratulations on your new release! Sounds like a book I would really like to read.
ReplyDeleteHi, Dianne. If you have a chance to read either Staging is Murder or Staging Wars, I hope you enjoy them. They definitely aren't Pulitzer Prize worthy, but I hope people find them entertaining and get a few laughs from them.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful post and congrats on the release of your book, Grace. I never understood the stat that more people are afraid of public speaking than death. Really? Extrovert here, and yet, I did a TEDx that scared the beejuzes out of me. So, I get it -- now. Can't wait to read your latest!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jenn. I think a lot of the fear has to do with the audience.
DeleteI, thankfully, have rarely been required to do any public speaking. I remember when called upon to read, to the class, in elementary school and the quiet groaning from a few classmates. I read a word at a time. The sentences didn't flow together. Even today, I don't read, I talk, turning beet red and avoiding eye contact. Even the one on one training I do at the office - very little eye contact once I get going, it's more examples and explanations time than just speaking.. Anyway, I remember when my aunt and uncle were selling their house of 30 years. They both smoked so every soft item had to be stripped and all walls painted. Thankfully they vacated it so it's easier to stage. I need to add you to my list of authors. I don't remember where your book is located? East, south, coast, woods, plains, small town? Hope you have lots of readers finding you during this sheltering. Stay safe and same everyone.
ReplyDeleteHi, Deana. Fortunately, if you have to speak to audiences, the more you do it the more comfortable you feel. My series is set in the Allegheny Mountains of Pennsylvania in the fictional town of Louiston.
DeleteIn my job as a medical lab technician, I had to give tech talks to other healthcare workers. At first it was nerve wracking, but gets easier the more you do it. My dad was the dean of the college in Rochester, Minnesota and he was more comfortable speaking in front of hundreds of people than if there were just a few. I'm not sure why,I sure wouldn't be. The book sounds wonderful.
ReplyDeletekathyclugston3@gmail.com
It does get easier, as you do it more often. And it is so much fuel to hear people respond!
DeleteThanks, Kathy. Perhaps your father could distance himself from a larger audience. Interesting though. It's interesting that performers who appear before an audience are more natural than they are filming in a studio.
DeleteCongrats, Grace! A former neighbor was a Toastmasters member years ago and I remember how much he loved it. I believe my baptism of fire came on my first day of student teaching when I faced off before a class of 7th graders. Even though my lesson plan wasn't a speech there are similarities and I remember that my 40 minute lesson plan was completed in significantly less time! Years later I trained lay people to be caregivers in a faith-based program where I had to use public speaking skills again.
ReplyDeleteMust say I wasn't nearly as stressed out in that setting.
Hi, Emily. After years of conducting training classes at my work, the toughest audience I faced was a group of Girl Scouts. It still makes me shudder.
DeleteIn the church in which I was raised, everyone speaks from a very early age, which I find terrifying, but in later years was helpful. When I had to give presentations at work, I would think, "I have spoken in front of 200 families, I can talk in front of 200 people, and then plunge in." (Blushing all the while, however. Controlling that took some time.) The best speaker I've ever heard was Louise Penny. So real, so vulnerable, so funny and entertaining and intelligent. An absolutely perfect evening. As for those Reds and readers who have given eulogies, you have my utmost respect. When it was time to say goodbye to my sister, I was mute. I couldn't even write a word, just cling to my niece's hands as we grieved, hard. My best friend keeps telling me, laughing, when things go wrong, "You'll have to tell this at my funeral!" or, imploring me, "Say something nice at my funeral to balance that out" when other episodes come up, so I'm gearing myself up to do what I would otherwise never consider attempting.
ReplyDeleteI sympathize, Beth. Giving a speech when emotions are high is extremely difficult. I spoke at my mother's 90th birthday celebration and got overcome with emotion. It's hard to control.
DeleteCongratulations on your new book release. What a wonderful experience to have and share. I was never one who got nervous to speak in public. Most of the times I needed to do this, it was in front of my church parishioners or else the Autism group. As they saying goes the more you do this,the easier it gets.
ReplyDeleteHi, Robin -- Experience in speaking is good, no matter where you get it. A lot, too, depends on the audience. I once had to speak to a group of employees who were very hostile and that was one difficult session.
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