Grief and Easter in the time of a Pandemic

LUCY BURDETTE: One day last week I woke up feeling horribly, deeply homesick. Although this is the time when we would ordinarily be thinking about going north for the summer, I realized that this choking sense of homesickness was not about a place, it was for the life I had before the coronavirus got a strangle hold on our world. I was feeling grief for all the things that contribute to my sense of home and purpose and well-being. 

With Easter coming up, I feel sad to miss one of my favorite services of the year– held on the beach at the Southernmost Beach resort and led by our MCC Pastor Steve Torrence. There is nothing much prettier or more hopeful than arriving in the dark and watching the sun come up with 150 other people, who are all searching for meaning. 



Of course that won’t be possible this year--one of the many bits and pieces of life that has been stripped away by the pandemic. I miss little things like walking into Books and Books or the Key West Island bookstore and browsing. Walking into Fausto’s grocery store and perusing the cheese display, without a mask on or a wad of Clorox soaked-paper towels in my pocket. No more joyous activity on the streets of Key West (a mixed blessing, as we don’t always appreciate the rude tourists and bad singing and too much drinking.) 

And trips and visits that we had planned over the summer – we won’t be going to see a show in New York City, we won’t most likely see our grandchildren in July, our friends from Key West will most likely not be visiting us as planned. Nor will I see where my great grandmother grew up in Ireland. Or visit my uncle in Michigan, who's in his nineties. 

On the other hand, I know I’m lucky. I don't live in a poor country, or in a prison, or in a nursing home. We have not been sick, our family is well, we have not lost jobs or livelihood. (And I'm trying not to parse out what is going to happen to the publishing industry and bookselling in the next couple of years.) 

I've done some reading about what psychologists are saying about grief and this virus. Not only are we are all facing individual losses, we are also losing our sense of the world around as being predictable, or just, or under our control. It helps, psychologists say, to realize that grief is a natural reaction to loss, but that most people are resilient and able to rebound. It helps to name the losses but also to recognize what strengths we’ve turned to when facing troubles in the past that we might be able to use today.

So I'm exercising quite a bit--yoga and walking--because when this improves and things get better, I want to be strong and full of energy. I'm writing the best I can because as above, when the world stops spinning so crazily, I want to be ready. I'm watching services on Facebook from both our Key West and Connecticut churches. Of course you know I'm cooking a lot and eating very well. And I'm staying in touch with people I love because I know that helps when the world looks dark. And I'm trying to notice signs of hope, signs of spring, signs of Easter. There are a lot of smart people working so hard to figure this out--I am choosing to believe they can do it. And that we can be our kindest, most grace-filled selves until that happens. (If you think I'm demented about the brilliant people, try watching an interview with Bill Gates.) 

That's it from me, Reds--here's hoping for some Easter glimmers in your lives too...we are all so grateful to have this community. How are you doing?