But this year is different. This year we are all too aware of senseless death, loss and grief. Almost a hundred thousand of our brothers and sisters lost, many unnecessarily. I read that this number is more than all those killed in every war our country has fought. Can that be true?
And so our thoughts turn to the reason for Memorial Day: founded to commemorate those lost in the Civil War--as senseless a loss of life as there ever was. All wars are horrible. Most are for the wrong reasons. But a civil war--brother against brother--is the worst kind. And it is still having repercussions today, isn’t it? How many Confederate flags are flying recently? It must be the only war in which the losing side has never admitted defeat. It still divides our nation after one and a half centuries.Was it necessary? Abraham Lincoln thought there was no alternative. Slaves were freed. Some good came of it. But at what price?
And every war since, except for WWII, which I think everyone believes was necessary and just, has been colored in shades of gray. Were we right to go into Korea? Vietnam? Iraq? For each there were justifications at the time, especially among politicians, but weighed against the cost of human life?
So this Memorial Day is a perfect time for reflection. Let us think of those rows of headstones in Arlington National Cemetery, each one representing a mother or a sweetheart who stood, weeping, and found themselves wondering what their loved one had been fighting for.
And on this particular Memorial Day, one we will never forget, let us remind ourselves that every life is precious and each one of those souls lost to this virus is a loss to our country and to humanity.
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Amen.
DEBORAH CROMBIE: Perfectly and eloquently said, Rhys.
HALLIE EPHRON: Exactly.
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Poignant and true. Thank you, Rhys.
Thank you, Rhys . . . these are perfect words . . . .
ReplyDeleteSo well said, Rhys. I think of all the young men and women who have fought for our country, whether the war was a "popular" one or not, and shown bravery that I can't even imagine having to possess. So many lives lost before they even began. And, as you said, Rhys, all those loved ones left behind to grieve and live a life without those brave souls.
ReplyDeleteYesterday morning the entire front page and several inside pages of the New York Times was filled with the names of 1000 of the almost 100,000 who have died from Covid-19. It is not comprehensible. The names were pulled from obituaries, and there were a few words after each one. Like "survived by her newborn."
ReplyDeleteYesterday our lawn guy came to mow and do some small clean-up. We noticed he was sneezing and maskless. He told us his son was home with an upset stomach. Julie did get within six feet of him before he sneezed. And she has been so careful.
We are getting tested on Wednesday. And probably looking for a new yard man.
That’s what is so worrying. We can be super careful and the one brush with a mask less idiot... I think actually you’ll be fine outside.keeping fingers crossed for Julie
DeleteOh, Ann, that's scary. Please let us know how you two are.
DeleteBeautifully put, Rhys. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI think they are saying a third of the US virus deaths could have been prevented if the "leadership" had acted earlier. Which is awful and criminal and unspeakably tragic.
Well said, Rhys. It is important to honour those who fought and lost their lives to ensure the freedom we have. Be well, and celebrate safely.
ReplyDeleteSo well said, Rhys.
ReplyDeleteI was just reading some posts on Facebook about throwing caution to wind and going out to "celebrate" Memorial Day and thought, my family went off to war, saw unspeakable horrors that left them changed forever, all to save our country. I can stay home for now to save lives. Staying in my comfortable home comparing to trudging through swamps or deserts? Yeah, I have it easy.
Stay safe, my friends.
I also come from a military family, Annette, and I've been thinking of the same thing. And our civilian grandparents and great-grandparents lived with rationed flour, sugar, meat, gas, rubber, etc. etc, and observed blackouts and raised victory gardens and put their money into war bonds. And we think "freedom" means the right to go to $5 margarita night at Applebee's.
DeleteMy personal perpetual well of sadness originates in the motivations for wars in the first place. Without the greed, preening egos, and power-hungry motives of leaders we would not have had such wars and incalculable human loss.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this lovely essay, Rhys.
I so agree, Karen. It’s hard to come up with a “ just “ war
DeleteRhys, you said that so beautifully. Memorial Day, I think my grandma called it Decoration Day.
ReplyDeleteEdith, I agree with your premise about leadership during the pandemic. The losses are unfathomable. We are staying home.
I remember my older relatives calling it Decoration Day too. It was the day we put flowers on the graves, not necessarily those of soldiers.
DeleteFifty years ago when I was living and teaching in NC for a year I was shocked that Memorial Day was not a holiday. (I believe it is now.)
I remember it being Decoration Day, too. It was changed to Memorial Day in 1971, Judi.
DeleteWe lived across the street from the big public cemetery, and my grandfather was the sexton for the Catholic cemetery, so he lived in the caretaker's house on the property. My entire childhood centered around this kind of event.
I also remember Decoration Day when I was a little girl in Alabama. We were also in the Army, so it was always a serious observance wherever we were posted.
DeleteAmen, Rhys. My dad, as I have noted here before, served in that necessary war, WWII. What did it cost him, as a man, to kill? He was called 'a soldier's soldier' by his commanding officer. Yet, this was a man called upon for the rest of his life, by the dying, for spiritual comfort. What a price we pay for the political messes of our times. It breaks my heart. I feel like weeping for all 100,000. (And there is an orange tiger cat in my lap, one paw on my arm as I type, yellow eyes on my face. He offers comfort sorely needed this morning.) Bless you all and may you all find some peace today and stay safe with all those you love.
ReplyDeleteFlora, I love the image of you and your sweet cat. Thank you for that.
DeleteWell said, Rhys.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rhys, for your elegant tribute to the day, but here are some facts to put it in perspective. Scholars estimate that between 650,000 and 750,000 soldiers died during the American Civil War. Countless civilians, caught up in the battle, also lost their lives. That's a heavy toll, but not too steep a price to pay if it means liberating human beings from slavery.
ReplyDeleteEnding slavery and preserving the nation were noble causes. Having the chance to get back into the bars and down a few cold ones with your friends? Not so noble a cause to risk your life and the lives of others. Reds and readers know that I have a special fondness for the Deep Ellum neighborhood of Dallas, and local news reports say that Deep Ellum bars were packed on Saturday. Few masks; a lot of drunken revelry. I fear for the Dallas coronavirus statistics in the next two weeks.
Be smart, everybody. Stay safe. We don't want to lose any of your precious voices.
Amen to that, Gigi. I fear we're doomed to repeat the path of the 1918 influenza, which was more widespread and deadly in the fall of '18 and winter of '19 as people let their guards down.
DeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteFrom your well chosen words I breathe and turn also to Ecclesiastes "There is a time..." . We who have been in war zones, we who have supported and mourned with the warriors, we stand with today and remember and honor. Thank you again all who are part of JRW's. May today bring the right words, and also bring peace.
ReplyDeleteI was struck by Judi's comment about Memorial Day not being a holiday in NC when she taught there. I thought Decoration Day started as a southern event where families gathered to clean up the sites of their buried families, in the family plots. They would clean and spruce it up, bringing food and drink to get them through the day. Maybe it didn't start out with an actual date, just a day set for the town to gather, when the weather was good and fair. Of course I may be wrong.
ReplyDeleteAs a child, my mother usually had a party the day after Memorial Day but sometimes, if Memorial Day happened on a weekend, the party might be the day before, on May 30. Until the Monday Holiday Bill putting Memorial Day in the fourth Monday in May, it was always the day before Mom's birthday. Images, memories get kinda fuddled when you are a small child. I wonder when we started putting "Happy" before the words Memorial and Day?
Thank you for the words and thoughts,Rhys. May all our memories be of peace and health next year when this battle is, too, at bay.
Memorial Day became an official holiday, replacing Decoration Day, in 1971.
DeleteDeana: yes, what do you say on Memorial Day? It's meant to be somber, but it's also become a joyful start-of-the-summer weekend, which has happened in my lifetime - when I was a girl, Memorial day was the 30th every year, regardless of the day of the week.
DeleteI usually compromise and wish people a "Happy Memorial Day Weekend."
Amen. Well said, Rhys.
ReplyDeleteI expect most of us have seen the comment: on 9/11 3000 people died and the whole country mourned. Three thousand people are now dying daily and people demand a haircut
ReplyDeleteI have never been able to grasp that phrase, Happy Memorial Day. It’s like wishing someone a good time at a funeral. I also didn’t care for moving its date for observance to a floating Monday so people could have a long weekend. It seems like we’re ruled by convenience and commerce these days.
ReplyDeletePeace to all, everywhere, and blessings on those with the courage to keep others safe -- which, these days, simply means staying home. How easy we have it compared to soldiers in other wars, in other times...
ReplyDeleteEloquently said, Rhys. Thinking about our ancestors who fought in many wars, including the First and Second World Wars. Thought of the novels by Jacqueline Winspear and Charles Todd.
ReplyDeleteNo Memorial Day parades because of the COVID 19 pandemic and the shelter in place, I think.
Diana
Thank you for the eloquent post, Rhys.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who lives alone and hasn't seen friends and family for over 2 months, this has been getting to me. However, I'm not going crazy and ignoring the rules. And I resent the fools who do and maybe go to my grocery store and infect me!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you all talk about Decoration Day. I remember my grandma and her sister putting flowers on family graves but not just military. I was wondering if I was crazy. My other grandma had brothers who fought in World War II but we don't have military in our family. My dad worked on airplanes because his sight was bad, and other men worked on the railroad.
I hope next year we have a better Memorial Day, Stay safe and well.
Thank you, Rhys.
ReplyDeleteAs horrible as this virus is it does not compare to those who willingly died in wars. Civil war= 755,0000. WW2= 405,399. WW1= 116,516. Revolutionary War=2500...plus there are many other "smaller" wars like Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan. Previous flu epidemics have also cause significant numbers to die: annually on average in the US between 12,000 to 56,000. So yes, we face a nasty enemy...and we need to keep it in perspective. Stats come from general searches online for "American flu deaths by year" and deaths by "US military casualties by war".
ReplyDelete