HALLIE EPHRON: Hold your nose and write. When you start to write, your work will be terrible. Everyone’s is. And you’ll know it because you’re a reader. Keep at it. Save everything. Trust me: today’s crap is tomorrow’s compost.
That's my favorite advice for aspiring writers. Last week, I proved the point with an essay I wrote for PRIVATE INVESTIGATIONS, a book of essays to mystery writers on their own real life mysteries. My essay tells about what happened to a dear friend of mine and what I did to try to understand it.
Here's the beginning of my essay for the anthology...
GHOSTED
It was dusk twenty years ago, and I was driving the I-93 North through Boston and beyond, looking for the exit marked MYSTIC AVENUE. This seemed prophetic since I was on my way to a meeting of Spiritualists. No, I’m not into parapsychology or the occult, and up to that point in my life I’d been secure in the belief that there is no afterlife. You live, you die, end of story. If something in my house goes bump in the night, I set mousetraps. But my struggle to understand what was happening to my friend Laura (not her real name) had drawn me to Medford to mingle with a group who claimed to be able to talk to ghosts.
If it had been anyone but Laura, I’d have written her off as a nut case. A single mom and successful real estate agent, she was smart, grounded, endowed with a wonderfully wry sense of humor and a healthy distrust of artifice and flimflam. We’d been friends since high school, and I’d never known her to be the slightest bit unhinged. At least not until her brother Josh was murdered. ...
(My essay is the first one in the book so you can read the rest of it in the "Look Inside" feature on AMAZON. Or better yet buy the book and read the terrific collection of essays by Rhys Bowen, Jeffery Deaver, Jacqueline Winspear...)
I go on to talk about how my native disbelief was challenged by Laura's ingenuousness. How I visited a meeting of spiritualists in an effort to understand what was happening.
Writing a novel based on my friend's experience was my first attempt at writing fiction. I wrote and rewrote, backed up and researched and started over, but I never got it good enough to be published.
But, and here's the important part... I saved all the notes I took from my many heart to heart talks with my friend. I have the notes I took during and after attending a Spiritualist meeting. I also saved every draft of that attempted book.
"Ghosted" is just one example of how material that wasn't good enough has fertilized later work.
What have you learned from failed attempts?
AND TONIGHT... here's a note from my sister, Delia about the benefit e-screening of a wonderful play she and my sister Nora wrote called Love Loss and What I Wore... I saw the play on Broadway and I'll be watching it again and supporting the 92nd Street Y...
From Delia:About three years ago, we had a reunion performance of Love Loss and What I Wore at the 92nd Street Y.
Happily the Y filmed it.
It starred five wonderful actors who did it during the original run: Lucy DeVito, Carol Kane, Natasha Lyonne, Rosie O'Donnell, and Tracee Ellis Ross.
Times are difficult now for the 92nd Street Y, as they are for many New York City cultural institutions.
To raise money, the 92nd St Y is making this performance of Love Loss available for watching on line for three weeks beginning May 4th. At a cost of $10 per ticket.
https://www.92y.org/event/love-loss-and-what-i-wore.aspx
This program is taking place remotely. If you have signed up, you will receive an email with details of how to access the program. After the event you will have exclusive access to view the program at any time.
Hallie, I read “Private Investigations” . . . your essay was one of my favorites.
ReplyDeleteWhat have I learned from failed attempts? Evaluate and keep trying for as long as it takes; never give up . . . .
Never?? This is reminding me of when my daughter's track coach suggested she try pole vaulting. Sometimes... it can be a bridge too far. Like me and quilting. It's an art that intrinsically requires a level of patience that I have not got.
DeleteI suppose the "never give up" implies it's something you have the ability/want to do in the first place . . . at least, that's how I've always looked at it. Mother advice is sometimes open to interpretation . . . .
DeleteHallie, the lesson you provide about "Ghosted" confirms my belief to always save your notes/work, and that eventually it can be used for another purpose.
ReplyDeleteAs a climate change researcher, I wrote a lot of technical reports, summaries and journal articles on my work. Almost all of this writing was reviewed either by my boss, or a technical committee or anonymous peer-reviewers. So, yes, I have had submitted written pieces rejected. I/We had to figure out what needed to be revised. Sometimes that was hard since the peer-reviewed comments were contradictory or not helpful. And other times, I realized that we picked the wrong journal and just resubmitted the manuscript unchanged to another one with success.
So, some detective work and perseverance are required to figure out the path to scientific publication.
Oh, Grace, how I'd love to sit down with you and get your viewpoint on what we're seeing play out re: climate in this epidemic. Got to be good news/bad news.
DeleteHallie, yes both good and bad news on the climate change front. As someone who did applied research, I/our team realized early on that it is very hard to get people/communities to change their behaviour for a common good.
DeleteThe COVID-19 pandemic has shown how quickly a global slowdown can make an impact on air pollution/GHG emissions but I fear this will only be short-lived reduction. Once the lockdowns and businesses/industry are allowed to restart, we will go back to driving our cars everywhere and emissions will rise again.
Wise words, Hallie - and thanks for sharing that link from Delia.
ReplyDeleteI wrote two thirds of a first mystery novel in the mid nineties. Of course I kept it, and the protagonist, the setting, even the murder later made it into A Tine of Live, A Tine to Die, my second published novel and the first in my Local Foods Mysteries. The rest of the early manuscript needed so much rewriting I couldn't use it, but the core was there.
Yay! "Kept" -- as on the raw notes in folders? the files on your computer? What's your saving system?
DeleteKept the file on my hard drive and a thumb drive - and then on Dropbox. I might have had to rescue it from a floppy disk, it was that long ago, but I'm not sure.
DeleteI still have some stuff on CDs... hoping they don't go the way of the floppy disk.
DeleteI still have a very bad (VERY bad) manuscript on a CD somewhere. It's not and never will be publication-worthy. However, I learned so much in the effort.
ReplyDeleteI am planning to dig out a couple of old manuscripts and revisit and revise them to see if maybe there's some redeeming value in them. I've already cannibalized portions for other books, so I know I need to rewrite sections. But, to use your word (which I love!) I hope to find they've "composed" into fertile material.
Happy composing/composting!
DeleteHallie, my youngest daughter's unexpected left turn into pole vaulting in her senior year of high school allowed her to claim "athletic" status at The Citadel, as one of their two pole vaulters that year. Which meant she got extra food, including milk (which, weirdly, they did not allow the freshmen, except on cereal), access to the air-conditioned gym instead of drilling in the hot sun, and friendships with the College of Charleston women pole vaulters she worked out with. She only "flew" that one year, but it was enough to get her through the roughest spots of being in an environment that was 93% male.
ReplyDeleteIf marriages count, my failed and short-lived first one actually changed my life in a million positive ways, even though I was metaphorically dragged, kicking and screaming sometimes, into that positive territory. I've made several false starts at writing about it, but it's still very hard to get perspective, 45 years later.
Thank you, also, for the link to the film! I'm very excited about this. What an actor lineup! Isn't Lucy DeVito the daughter of Danny and Rhea Perlman?
I just went to the 92nd Street Y's website. I'm impressed at their roster of lectures and other programs. A mother lode of culture. Thanks!
DeleteYes, Lucy DeVito is the daughter of Danny and Rhea Perlman. When I saw the play on Broadway, she was in it. So interesting about your pole vaulting daughter. As a mom, I found it completely terrifying to watch. Because what goes up must come down.
Deletethat's an amazing story Karen, about your daughter! Hallie makes me snicker--I guess they must teach you right away How to Fall? Which would be a good lesson for all of us!
DeleteOh, absolutely! And there's a giant inflated or otherwise padded landing pad behind the pole. In the old days it was probably a sand pit! I think I'd have had heart palpitations, if that had been the case!
DeleteBut remember, my middle daughter was a competitive climber for many years. Moms learn not to scream in panic watching their 110-pound daughter 100 feet in the air, clinging to a rope and toeholds. Come to think of it, that might have been great training for the pandemic.
I used to keep a notebook of little snippets that I hoped might someday appear in something I have written. Mostly they were little dialogues that I could hear in my head. Maybe I should dig that notebook out and see what it has to "tell" me.
ReplyDeleteDig!!!
DeleteI'm glad Laura could find closure and (maybe?) give herself and her son a normal life. Rev. Ida is a gem. Is this the first time you've written about her?
ReplyDeleteI woke up in the middle of the night last week, having finally solved a cold case murder in my first book, which has been stashed in a closet. Several times I thought about dumping all my drafts in the recycling bin, but I didn't. I'll revisit it later this year.
Rev Ida was lovely, well meaning and utterly convinced. Margaret good thing you never dumped those drafts!
DeleteI also have my first novel kicking around here in digital form. It will never be published, but I learned a lot about the basics of writing with it. AND I learned I don't have a cozy voice!
ReplyDeleteSo interesting... and I learned I don't ever want to write true crime. It's too awful.
DeleteI bought my tickets to the play. Can I sit by you? What are we wearing? I'm thinking jammies and a robe! What a talented family you are.
ReplyDeleteYour essay was interesting, went to Amazon and read it just now. Spiritualism holds no fascination for me although "Truly Madly Deeply" is one of my favorite movies. But ghosts and an afterlife are another issue. Last week, one of my atheist friends lost his mother to Covid-19. She was in a nursing home, died with no family to comfort her or each other. However my friend moved heaven --so to speak -- and earth to make sure Nonna got last rites. I told him then that their are no atheist in foxholes -- or in hospice. I "could write a book" about the experiences I've had, what I've observed around dying patients. But I won't.
The First Law of Thermodynamics, commonly known as the Law of Conservation of Matter, states that matter/energy cannot be created nor can it be destroyed. The quantity of matter/energy remains the same. So far this law remains unbroken. All that energy has to go someplace. I don't venture to say where. But dying is a transformation of matter from one state to another. Perhaps reincarnation?
Oh gosh, I hope you're right, Ann.
DeleteDefinitely jammies! See you there!!
I presume we can send it to the TV? Or do we need to watch on laptops? Either way, I'll bring the wine and munchies.
DeleteAnn, let's do jammies and popcorn!!
DeleteI don't know whether you can see it on TV... maybe if you can hook your computer to your TV? Beyond my pay grade.
DeleteI make killer popcorn. The old fashioned way, in a pot on the stove.
DeleteOh, what fun to see that play! Let me see if I can swing that! And yes, definitely jammies.
ReplyDeleteI found some old typed pages of a book I wrote, and I use the term loosely, in 199-7? It was only six chapters. And about 27 points of view. Not that I knew what that was.
I have to say, there was one scene that really worked. And I could tell it, all these years later.
Plus, I always keep notebooks of little snippets of ideas. I’m about 15,000 words into the new book, more on that tomorrow, and I was just flipping through old notebooks looking for possible glimmers, and just randomly on one page I had written “what is the cost of fame? “And that, as it turned out, was exactly what I was writing.
Ding ding ding! I hear a title hatching.
DeleteThe forever buried and never to be shown to anyone else EVER first attempts at writing a story back when I was in high school definitely live up to Hallie's notion that it will be terrible. It is pure dreck. I'd throw it away or shred it but I'm afraid someone would find it and painstakingly put it back together and I'd be outed for being such a shamelessly bad writer.
ReplyDeleteI noodle at ideas for a story these days but despite an abundance of free time, I lack the self-discipline to sit down and start writing in any kind of serious attempt. I toy with the idea of actually taking a class or something should that ever become possible again. And maybe sign up for one of the classes offered at New England Crime Bake when that convention returns in 2021.
Because if I ever do put the butt in the chair and open up a document to type, "Cliché or not, it actually was a dark and stormy night..." (NOT THE ACTUAL FIRST SENTENCE OF MYTHICAL MYSTERY NOVEL I'D LOVE TO WRITE), I'd want to do it "right". It would be embarrassing to ask for feedback on a first draft from any of the authors I admire and give them something so bad, that they'd be honor bound to say, "Jay, stick to reading books."
That said, what I've written recently is a few book reviews for my Goodreads page. A couple of mystery novels and a graphic novel thriller. I also wrote a couple of articles on albums from the band Metal Church. One was a past album and one was a review of their new release. Those came out well and the band loved what I had to say as they shared the links to both pieces on their social media pages.
I've got a new Cassette Chronicles article due this week and there's a review of the new Mike Tramp album coming soon as well.
I sometimes think I am better suited to offer an opinion on the work of others than trying to come up with an original story of my own.
Jay, I can tell from your posts that you do have a real talent for words! You should make a start on that novel, just for fun. Tell yourself that nobody ever has to see it, and that it doesn't have to be "perfect!"
DeleteHave to second Deb on this. Everyone writes trash at first. But you learn by writing, And after awhile, you start to see that it's getting better.In one of the first writing classes I ever took, the very experience teacher said, "The students who succeed at writing are not necessarily the more talented.They are the ones who are most persistent."
DeleteExactly - most persistent... and most open to making changes but clear about their goal
DeleteJust bought an ebook of Private Investigations. Very intriguing! I could see myself writing a story for that collection. Thinking back to my childhood days, it interests me to see how the world seemed to me from a child's perspective. I was such a big fan of Bewitched, which I saw as reruns. When I was a kid, hearing people seemed to be there one minute then the next moment, they were not there. I would turn around and see them. Then when I turned around again, they were no where to be seen! LOL. I did NOT know that I was Deaf or what it meant to be Deaf. I thought everyone was like me except for people who did not know sign language. Now I know it is because I did NOT hear them walk away.
ReplyDeleteWhat were my failed attempts? I can think of an example. I tried and tried to learn how to ice skate, starting at age 2 after I lost my hearing. It took me 4 years of failed attempts to skate on my own Before I finally skated on my own at the age of 6.
Regarding my writing, I remember a college professor advising me to write every day to practice my writing. I notice that the more I write, the better chances of improving my writing skills. I have not published a Novel yet. I just started reading a new novel written by a Deaf author about a young child living on Martha's Vineyard in 1805.
There are many stories that I would like to write. While I am great with ideas, I still have to work on developing the story, the dialogue, and the settings to make it a good read. Never wanted to be one of these authors whose writing is hard to follow. I have read published novels that are HARD to follow and I ended up Not finishing the novels. I have lucked out in discovering wonderful authors whose books can be challenging in a good way AND still be readable. The writing grabbed my attention and I finished these books.
Diana
"The writing grabbed my attention and I finished these books." -- You've put your finger on the tightrope that every author has to walk.
DeleteHallie, I think that is why there are writing groups so that other people can read the drafts and give feedback?
DeleteDiana
The play sounds great— what a cast!
ReplyDeleteI have many notebooks and scraps of paper with everything from overwrought poetry I wrote as a teenager to ideas for lessons for my classes. Going through those and organizing everything is on my “ to do while at home” list. Maybe something I find will fire up my creativity. Actually, it doesn’t have to fire it up— a soft breath on a tiny ember would be a start!
Anyone who can write "a soft breath on a tiny ember" has me hooked. And then...?
DeleteThe play sounds great, Hallie! What an unexpected treat.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that I haven't saved much in the way of failed attempts. I tend to delete as I revise. I do have notebooks full of jottings, however, and somewhere, some old stories and poetry that I never even attempted to get published. Maybe there are some ideas in there somewhere!
I'll bet there are... a few choice sentences, to say the least.
DeleteHallie,thanks for the info. I saw Love and Loss when it was onstage, and liked it so much I took my mother-in-law (a serious clotheshorse) for her birthday. I'd love to watch it again.
ReplyDeleteI went with a group of friends from college - we had a blast!
DeleteHallie, before I commented, I had to do two things. First, I bought the hardback of Private Investigations, and I didn't read the rest of your piece because I want to savor it when the book arrives. Then, I bought a ticket for Love, Loss, and What I Wore. I can't wait to watch this play tonight. My husband will be spending the night at his mother's (she has to have someone 24/7 now), so the house will be mine to watch and not be interrupted. You've brightened my day considerably with these two creative products. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI haven't really tried fiction writing, but I might have a few jottings hanging around somewhere. I'll keep an eye out for them now. I do have early reviews I've written, before I jumped into seriously planning reviews and following authors. They are educational in a way, because I can see where my attention to detail has improved. I do like reading over older reviews from time to time, too, and reliving the thrill of a particular book, what grabbed me about it.
But, one of the kinds of writing I like to imagine could be helpful in fiction writing are old letters I've saved. From the penned poems of a past boyfriend to the news from my mother of home. Then, I also have some notes from my mother as she and my father took a couple of trips, which I find interesting and capable of sparking story ideas. So, I hold onto these scraps and scribbles, not having given up yet on their possibilities.
I often regret that I am not a saver of old letters. You were so smart to hold onto them. It seems remarkable to me that the only person whose letters I saved were from my to-be husband.
DeleteOn reviewing, the thing I learned as I did more of it was NOT to retell the story. It pisses the writer AND readers off (especially if it's a mystery.) So writing a review of a crime novel is an art... how to convey what it's about without giving it away.
I agree, Hallie. I don't do spoilers in my reviews. I try to tell enough of the story to whet the reader's appetite, but I want them to discover the story themselves, like I did.
DeleteDidn't your husband draw or doodle in your letters. It seems I remember you saying that once. I love that he draws you something for your birthday card each year. That is so special.
He does - and I’ve saved every single one of them
DeleteA writer, I am not. I tend to get too wordy trying to come up with the alternate word for the one I can't spell. Of course those were the days before spell-check in computers. I was lucky enough to attend an elementary school that emphasized the written language. I may not have been able to spell, but I do write a decent descriptive paragraph.
ReplyDelete"Save everything. Trust me: today’s crap is tomorrow’s compost." This is so very true, Hallie. Also, I love the beginning of your essay and can't wait to read the whole thing. This is definitely a collection a writer needs to have!
ReplyDelete