HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Can a book change the world? Well, of course it can. But for the amazing Damyanti Biswas, that question haunted her so deeply that it changed her writing life. Damyanti and I have gotten to know each other virtually, and as she knows, I am a devoted fan of her book YOU BENEATH YOUR SKIN—which, Reds and readers, is, starting tomorrow, and very briefly, available free. But--as you will see below--you MIGHT want to buy one.
Take a moment please, do, and journey with Damyanti to places you have never been. And then see how she’s using her writing career to make a difference. We are all in awe.
WHAT DIFFERENCE CAN WE MAKE?
In another life, I used to work in the fashion industry, helping clothe the rich and famous. In New Delhi alleyways where I worked on projects involving embroideries and stitching, I got to see the underprivileged communities from up close. I myself earned very little, but only realised later that I was an unwitting part of a cycle of exploitation.
Over the years, I left New Delhi behind but my memories of those places did not fade. I continued to follow the news, and in December 2012 was confronted with what came to be known as the Nirbhaya tragedy. A 23-year-old physiotherapist returning home after an evening out, Jyoti Singh was accosted by six men who beat up her boyfriend, and raped and brutalised her to the extent that her intestines spilled on the road. She succumbed to her injuries a week later. The youngest of the accused turned out to be seventeen.
In the rage and helplessness that followed, I asked myself: what difference are you and your writing making in this world? And the short, depressing, answer was: none at all.
In 2009, I’d been fortunate enough to meet Anouradha Bakshi, who runs the New Delhi non-profit, Project WHY, a tiny organization with a big heart: each year they help about 1200 children and dozens of women make a better life.
While visiting Project WHY, I stepped into alleyways similar to the ones I’d seen during my work life, and decided to get involved. I initially helped with small donations, work on social media, workshops with teachers.
In the meanwhile, my writing journey began and a novel took shape. Its world was quasi-real. The slums of New Delhi. The government hospitals. Police stations. Road side shanties. Old monuments. Restaurants at 5-star hotels, and roadside eateries. A few scenes, and definitely a lot of the setting came from Project WHY. While researching the novel, I began interacting with acid attack survivors at Stop Acid Attacks.
I listened to the survivors. Tales of pain, rage, grief. Of deprivation. Of prevailing against the odds. Over years, I developed not just a huge friendship with Anouradha Bakshi and what has now become my family at Project WHY, but also relationships with acid attack survivors.
Their stories are devastating—faces and bodies burned by friends, lovers, husbands, cousins—and yet, despite the attempt at obliterating their identities, these women have returned into society. They undergo painful surgeries and combat health issues caused by the attacks.
A particular friend among them, Ritu Saini, was attacked by men she knew because she’d refused the advances of one of them. I met her in 2014, a husk of a girl who spoke in halting, whispery sentences. When asked a question by an audience last year: what would she say to the men who assaulted her, her response was confident and immediate: I would ask them, what did you hope to achieve? My devastation? Here I am—and my voice is loud and clear. Come talk to me now.
My proceeds from the novel that resulted from these experiences, YOU BENEATH YOUR SKIN, go back to the women and children whose stories are within its pages. Endemol Shine has optioned it for television, which I hope will bring further awareness to their cause.
To join hands with me on empowering these very brave women and children who have been a part of my journey, check out the work of Project WHY and Stop Acid Attacks.
Through this journey, I don’t know if my writing has made any difference in the big, bad world, but in getting involved with Project WHY and Stop Acid Attacks, I’m very grateful to be made part of a small, good thing.
HANK: We are cheering and applauding and full of respect and admiration. I know Damyanti, who lives in Singapore, has now been volunteering to help migrant workers trapped there by the pandemic. Which brings tears to my eyes. And yes, she is really that wonderful. And her book is, too. (I read her first chapter of YOU BENEATH YOUR SKIN out loud on First Chapter fun. The video is here.)
HOW does she do this all?
Please thank her, Reds and readers. Please applaud her. Please buy her books. She is an inspiration. She is on a totally different time zone, 12 hours different! But she will come comment when she can.
It’s difficult to understand how anyone could choose to attack another in such a horrific manner as you describe, Damyanti . . . your efforts to help are inspiring. I look forward to reading your book . . . .
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed incredible, the violence the survivors suffer. What is even more surprising though is that most of the attackers are relatives. And that some of the survivors continue to live with their attackers--here's the story of two of them:
Deletehttps://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/chennai/acid-attack-victims-look-for-a-fresh-start/article19102174.ece
Once anyone meets the survivors, it is quite impossible not to want to do something to help them get their lives back.
SO inspirational. Awe-inspiring. ANd the book is terrific.
DeleteDamyanti, thank you for being a shining example of what a difference a person can make when they focus on what they can do to make our world a better place. You aren’t waiting for someone else to do it or for a situation to materialize for you to step in. You are seeking out where you can help and doing it. The Nike slogan of “Just do it” fits you well. I’m so glad you visited the Reds today.
ReplyDeleteKathy, you're very kind. In a way it is a little self-serving for me, though. The darkness that has engulfed our world tends to overwhelm me, and the only way to stay sane is to push back in whatever way I can. Darkness cannot be fought with darkness, it only recedes from light.
DeleteProject WHY and Stop Acid Attacks are that light--they do the true real, hard work on the ground. I just try and help keep their light burning in whatever way I can.
Oh. I am printing this out. Darkness only recedes from light. Thank you.
DeleteWhat excellent work, Damyanti. And that you put some of the stories into your book. Congratulations! Am off to order it.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Edith. My dream is for them to be writing their own stories, though. I can't possibly understand their trauma the way they do, and their own voices need to be heard.
DeleteSo kind of you to take the time to read the post, and order the book. Thank you so much.
When you talk to them about writing their stories--what do they say?
DeleteThey say they want to read the book. Not many of them speak English, none read English with any fluency. I've been trying to work on a Hindi translation, but haven't been able to find the right connections so far.
DeleteWow that is a horrifying story that I remember well. We salute your persistence in making the world a safer place for women
ReplyDeleteIt was utterly horrifying. And the attackers justified it saying: 'she shouldn't have resisted. We had to teach her a lesson. A woman has her place, and she must never forget that.'
DeleteIt drives me nuts, to hear things like that. The only way around it though, is to empower women, and both the non-profits do the best they can to that end. They're the ones doing hard work, I merely help them. The pandemic has made it difficult because now I can't physically volunteer with them.
There's no "merely" about you, Damyanti.
DeleteI remember the story of the beating and I've heard of the acid attacks. How wonderful that you've been able to step up and help these women heal.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Liz. I've hardly helped enough--so much needs to be done, but at least there is more awareness now about the scourge of patriarchy, and the damage it inflicts.
DeleteYes, and it's so generous of you to come swoop all of us up today...and bring us into the circle.
DeleteThank you Damyanti. Man's inhumanity to man is bad. Men's inhumanity to women is egregious, unspeakable.
ReplyDeleteI have no words.
And thank you, Hank, for bringing this to our attention.
Yes, Ann. Inhumanity is such a strange yet inescapable part of humanity.
DeleteWe have to face what's there though, acknowledge it, and try to figure out ways to make things better. Thank you for your comment.
It was life-changing for me, ANn, to "meet" Damyanti.
DeleteDamyanti, thank you for shining a light on this horrifying topic! And welcome to Jungle Reds! I recall reading a story about women in India being in "cooking accidents" because their in-laws felt that the brides did not bring enough money to the marriage and tried to kill the daughters in law by designing the murders as cooking accidents. And I remember the stories about the acid attacks.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you, Hank, for bringing this to our attention.
You're quite right--these cooking accidents were called 'dowry deaths'--a woman who brought in insufficient dowry (money, luxury items) was tortured, and then murdered by setting her on fire.
DeleteThings have improved in urban settings due to the education and empowerment of women, but in rural areas, things continue as before.
The law prohibiting this practice was passed in 1961, but about 20 Indian women still die each day in these horrific situations. Acid attacks have now replaced the burning, because acid would only burn the one attacked, whereas a woman set on fire could incinerate the entire house.
Each day? Each DAY?
DeleteYes. And those are only the reported figures. This is a country of more than a billion, and women don' fare well in the patriarchal society.
DeleteHank, you have touched a raw nerve here this morning. How far are we from this when a US Senator can rise in the Chamber and state that women do not get pregnant if they're raped because their bodies won't do it? When birth control can be denied because of the pharmacist's beliefs? When a woman can be forced to carry a pregnancy even if her health is threatened because of the beliefs of the men who make the laws in her state? We've only had the vote here for 100 years, and we are still way behind in earnings. What is the difference in salary between a janitor and a housekeeper? Probably enough to pay the rent and buy food!
ReplyDeleteWe live in a world where women can be stoned to death for affairs, even if she's been raped; where an entire culture wants sons so badly that they abort female fetuses; where a father or brother can perpetuate an "honor killing" because a young woman won't marry whomever they've chosen or because she had pre-marital sex or just for talking back to elders; where women can be set on fire by their husbands or in-laws once the dowry has been received; where girls, as young as six, can be forced to marry older men; where the belief that Aids can be cured by deflowering a virgin leads to the abduction of children; where rape or acid attacks are rarely, rarely punished.
Damyanti, welcome to JRW and congratulations on your book. My heart is breaking for all of the victims of abuse. I salute your devotion to this cause and to others where justice is so often denied. We can help you with your causes, financially and by speaking out, but for there to be real justice, we also need to take notice close to home.
Thanks for the welcome, Judy.
DeleteSadly, patriarchy is an ugly truth in a lot of countries, despite the strides made for human rights, and equality. We must absolutely try and make a difference where we can, and wherever we see injustice whether it be near or far from home, or indeed, within our homes.
A cause belongs to those who support it, and though we would like to support each one, we will need to choose those we can be effective at helping. Personally, I think it is enough that we all want to help, and do help, in whatever ways we can, wherever we can.
Yes--it's easy to say--well, its won't matter what I do, because its too small. ALl of our "smalls" together are enormous.
DeleteSo agree. Every little bit adds up.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThanks to you for all you do! I'll read your book with a new sense of appreciation.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words, Margaret, but I really do very little. So pleased you picked up the book.
DeleteHuge thanks to Hank for inviting me here--without her, I wouldn't meet all of you.
Yes, exactly. This story behind the story is so important.
DeleteJudy so eloquently summarized my feelings about this insanity. My three adult daughters are strong, intelligent women, but their inherent vulnerability takes my breath away daily.
ReplyDeleteThank you for all you do, Damyanti, and I wish you great success. I look forward to reading this gift.
Thanks very much for reading, and the kind words. It makes me so mad on some days that women still are vulnerable--that half of humanity is treated as less than equal. I'm sure your daughters are making a difference every day--as the pandemic has shown, strong female leadership brings good results. Kudos to you for raising them well.
DeleteSO true!
DeleteWhat Judy said. Everything she said, I echo it. The personal is political, and reading and writing can definitely be political. I'm off to order the book.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Hank for bringing Damyanti to JRW. And thank you, Damyanti, for writing this book.
We watched Delhi Crime on Netflix last winter, which dramatizes the police investigation into the brutal unspeakable crime against Jyoti Singh. It is worth watching.
Thanks so much, Amanda. Hank is wonderful, and an inspiration.
DeleteI haven't yet watched Delhi Crime--too close to home for me, having spent many years in that city, and having walked on the very streets where it happened. I do plan to watch it someday soon.
You Beneath Your Skin was pitched to Endemol Shine as similar to Delhi Crime--we just have to wait and see what sort of series they end up making. If you watched Delhi Crime, you might like Sacred Games, and Patal Lok, which are in the same genre of stories, but fictional.
If you get a moment--ha!-what's the status of the movie/series? Any news?
DeleteWith the pandemic, everything has slowed down, but let's hope they start rolling the cameras soon.
DeleteWhile my heart is breaking for the victims of these horrific crimes I realize that that is not going to help change anything. Damyanti, your book will help change the world. Right now I would like for all of our elected officials, all over the world, especially of the male gender, to read the book.
ReplyDeleteJudi, I wish that were true, but I'm under no illusions about the extent of the impact of the book, even after it becomes a TV series.
DeletePatriarchy is very deeply entrenched in India over hundreds of generations, and it will take much more than a generation or two to work out of the country's system. The book has generated discussions though, and that I suppose is again a small good thing in a big, bad world.
If you read the reviews for the book on Amazon, most men tend to treat it like a straightforward thriller. Only women see it for what it is--an exploration, though a crime story, of patriarchy and misogyny in various social strata in India.
Oh, that is FASCINATING. And so revealing.
DeleteThank you so much for all the good you do in the world, Damyanti! And thank God there are brave young women like you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the sweet words, Susan, but I'm the very opposite of brave. I just try desperately hard to face my fears and make whatever impact I can on what is out there. The world is made of far braver women than me, many of them in this thread.
DeleteYes, you are brave. And it makes the rest of us brave, too.
DeleteOver 1,000 acid attacks since 2014 - that's hard to process, beyond horrific and frightening. I'm so glad there is an organization to help the survivors - what extraordinary women who truly have risen from the ashes of such a senseless and despicable crime. Thank you for enlightening us and giving us a way to help ~
ReplyDeleteShe's terrific, isn't she? So glad to be able to introduce you all.
DeleteCelia, I tried quite a few times to reply to your comment yesterday, but lost them all Hope this one makes it.
DeleteThe survivors are the true heroes, we call them Sheroes--they deal with so many medical procedures, their disabilities, and the trauma of the attack, and do it all with their smiles in place. I remain in awe.
This is so hard to contemplate, never mind face its full horror. Thank you, Damyanti. Silence only make the wounds worse. Such a difficult question: what difference are you and your writing making in this world? Your response and determination to reveal the tragedies and make a difference are inspiring.
ReplyDeleteHallie, I don't think I coped with the horrors very well. It took me 6 years to write this novel, which was not because it was my first (yes, I was clueless), or because of lack of talent (a considerable lack, in my case) but because my resilience wasn't a great match to the ugliness I was writing about. I cried buckets, and stopped writing many times. I don't know if I've made a whit of difference, but at the very least I can tell myself I'm trying.
DeleteThat passion comes through in the book. An that's one thing that makes it so powerful.
DeleteThank you, Damyanti, for sharing this with us today. Judy has responded so eloquently for all of us. Thank you for making a difference, and I will certainly buy your book--which sounds terrific!
ReplyDeleteThank you Deborah for the lovely words, and for buying the book. I appreciate both, and am happy that this will raise awareness for the two causes the book supports.
DeleteDamyanti, your book sounds like a must-read suspense/mystery! The subject matter is heartbreaking. I cannot fathom the reasoning or rationalization behind these attacks. Almost five years ago I was on a tour in India (wonderful trip!) and our tour guide told us how it was the law that busses could not have curtains closed in the city we were in, at that time. Some poor woman had been raped on a curtained bus and this law had been passed to protect other women.
ReplyDeleteYes, it was indeed a law that was passed, because of the Nirbhaya tragedy of 2012. How much it is implemented though, is anyone's guess. Things are changing, slowly, with women negotiating every step forward, and men coming to understand that patriarchy damages men as well as women.
DeleteTh rationalization for the violence is chillingly simple--it is the belief that a woman's life and body has no more worth than that of an insect, and that it is a man's right to do exactly what he pleases with both. This belief is inculcated since childhood through what they see around them.
Interesting that your guide told you that, though, PAt.
DeleteDamyanti, thank you for sharing this issue with us today. I will certainly buy this book and recommend it to my book club. You are a reminder that there are still good people in this world trying to make a difference.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Teri. You Beneath Your Skin is often discussed at bookclubs and leads to heated discussions on parenting, on mothering a child with autism, on feminism, and the ending of the book! I have been invited to some and loved answering all the many questions, which keep coming via texts for days afterward!
DeleteI agree that there are good people around wanting to make a difference, but I think good examples of this are people like Anouradha Bakshi, the founder of Project WHY, and all the teachers who do wonderful work in the slums.
A perfect book club book!
DeleteDamyanti's back story and her volunteer efforts are amazing and awe-inspiring, but honestly, I'd go for YOU BENEATH YOUR SKIN just based on the book blurb alone. It sounds EXACTLY like the kind of read I'd stay up all might to devour!
ReplyDeleteJulia, I wrote the book as a story that I needed to tell. I've been involved with the causes for years, but I didn't write it for advocacy. It just came out that way. Thanks so much for the lovely words.
DeleteYes-it's a terrific book. But, yes, the reality makes it all the more powerful.
DeleteThank you so much, Hank, for the invite. It has been a real pleasure being here, and responding to all the compassionate, insightful comments.
ReplyDeleteTo everyone, thank you for listening, and for reaching out to buy the book, and help the nonprofits.
If you do read it, adding a fair, unbiased review on Goodreads/ Amazon will help the book, and the causes it supports.
I might be a little incoherent, but that's because I haven't had any real sleep in more than 40 hours and it is 1.40 am here :)
Good wishes to everyone at JRW, and please stay safe,
Damyanti
Oh, you can feel the admiration and respect, dear Damyanti. We'll keep talking--you get some sleep!
DeleteSorry I crashed yesterday--thanks so much once again Hank, for all the support. It has been a fascinating conversation.
Delete