RHYS BOWEN:
RHYS BOWEN: I don’t know about you but I’ve been really stressed since this pandemic started. We only go out to do our weekly shopping, during senior hour once a week. If I have to mail something and stand in the post office with one other person and the clerk behind a Perspex panel I can feel my heart pounding. We are told that older people are more likely to become really ill with the virus. I skirt around people on our walks, even though most are wearing masks.
RHYS BOWEN: I don’t know about you but I’ve been really stressed since this pandemic started. We only go out to do our weekly shopping, during senior hour once a week. If I have to mail something and stand in the post office with one other person and the clerk behind a Perspex panel I can feel my heart pounding. We are told that older people are more likely to become really ill with the virus. I skirt around people on our walks, even though most are wearing masks.
But you know the one person who is not fazed by this at all? My husband, John, who is in his eighties. If I allowed him to he’d be at Costco and Home Depot and Target merrily shopping away with hordes of other people. This one of the few times in our marriage when I have really put my foot down and said, “NO!!!!”
His answer is: I LIVED THROUGH THE WAR! That was the same answer he gave after the panic following 9/11. We were bombed every night for over two years and we never panicked then! He’d be out riding his bike all over the city. Once he heard a popping noise and wondered what it was and found that a German plane had dived low and was machine-gunning people on the next street. I’m amazed his mother let him loose at such a time. But I suppose having lived through a war you feel you can handle almost anything. And there is something in the British character—sang froid? A basic stoicism? A sense of communal duty? That pulls us through tough times. Look at how people fought over toilet paper this year. The Brits calmly queued up with their ration books and made do with impossibly little.
A quarter of a pound of meat per week per person? One egg? They survived somehow.
A quarter of a pound of meat per week per person? One egg? They survived somehow.
We are a nation of eccentrics, of individuals with a strong feeling for the right of the individual and yet at the same time a spirit that comes together at times of adversity. 
Maybe it’s because America has only been attacked once on home soil, and that attack was limited to four planes, that Americans can’t picture what it’s like to be under siege by an enemy. Which is probably why a certain number of people want to call this a hoax, demand that they are free not to wear a mask and can go to bars, convinced that nothing will ever happen to them.
Maybe it’s because America has only been attacked once on home soil, and that attack was limited to four planes, that Americans can’t picture what it’s like to be under siege by an enemy. Which is probably why a certain number of people want to call this a hoax, demand that they are free not to wear a mask and can go to bars, convinced that nothing will ever happen to them. 
I think if you go back to WWII you’ll find that most people did their part willingly. They put on a uniform, flew a plane, worked in a shipyard, grew vegetables all without complaining. But then they had just come through the great Depression and had to make do, to survive. I find myself wondering what would happen if we ever found ourselves at war now. Would half the country declare it a hoax? Would people refuse to join the forces, saying it was their right not to wear a uniform? I pray that never comes to pass, just as I pray that sanity and a spirit of selflessness returns to our country.
I have to say that the Brits have not been doing so brilliantly recently. I think of football hooligans trashing cities and Britain has not fared so well during the pandemic (but way, way better than the US. Schools are now back, business is pretty much as usual with few cases).
So does it take something as big as a war to unite people? Have we become too entitled and pampered that "nobody is going to make me do anything I don't want to?" We've had it too easy for too long. I'm just wondering what it will take to wake us up.
That’s a tough question, Rhys . . . it’s a sort of an attitude of insouciance . . . people just shrug concerns off, as if it couldn’t possibly affect them and so why worry about it? It’s an attitude I don’t understand, but I’d hope there would be a way short of war to unite everyone . . . .
ReplyDeleteI pray it doesn't have to be a war, but I don't have an answer for how to bring back sanity and civility and responsibility.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had a solution. Somehow along the way we have fractured unity as a country and adopted a toddler mentality. Individuality is what this country is all about, but there is no reason that it must come at the price of the greater good. Sad state of affairs.
ReplyDeleteI am currently reading THE SPLENDID AND THE VILE, popular historian Erik Larson's deeply researched account of Winston Churchill's time as Prime Minister. That British strength and stoicism comes through so much in it. (Though Churchill himself was not exactly stoic. But his emotionalism seemed to be the right thing to keep the citizens strong.)
ReplyDeleteI hope and pray fervently that something short of a war or attack can bring the US citizenry together and cause us to refocus our priorities! I am inherently too much of an optimist to believe differently.
I'm with John. I remember my grandfather, who was a WWII vet and lived through the Great Depression. I often wonder how he would react to current events. I can hear his voice in my mind, "I lived through war and having nothing. I'll make it through this."
ReplyDeleteYes, in some ways I think we've had it too good for too long. Sometimes you don't value what you have until you don't have it any more.
"Too good for too long" is exactly it, Liz. We're like the grandchildren of a self-made millionaire; brought up with every ease our ancestor could only dream of when he was young, we've lost touch with what it's like to struggle and sacrifice. (In a cultural way. There are, unhappily, millions of Americans who struggle to feed their kids every day.)
DeleteOur grandparents scraped their way through the Great Depression and volunteered for WWII. They and our parents paid taxes that supported the interstate highway system, the TVA, monumental dam building that electrified the nation. AND, relevant to the ignorant anti-vaxxers, they watched their children fall ill and die from measles, mumps, smallpox and polio.
All those events are rapidly dwindling from living memory, and even those of us who heard the stories first hand are nearing retirement age at the youngest. It's no wonder so few people have a sense of everybody-pitch-in, when the last great national undertaking - the Apollo program - is fifty years in the rear view window.
COVID is an invisible enemy. We see the results of it in the news, but it's not reality. We have become a "right here, right now" self-indulgent society. I don't know what the answer is, other than imposing a nation-wide ban on leaving our homes, similar to New Zealand. When my grandmother described WW2 rationing, her attitude was "we did what we had to do for the sake of our troops".
ReplyDeleteThe COVID vaccine, once fully tested, will be a plus, but anyone who has pursued the new shingles vaccine--I was on the hunt for eighteen months--dreads making the rounds of all the local pharmacies, leaving names on waiting lists.
It's so hard when the enemy is invisible and our leadership in tatters. I agree with you on chasing the shingles vaccine Margaret! That was an ordeal that we had to apply ourselves to--but not a matter of life and death...
DeleteMargaret, I also hunted the second shingles shot (really the third, since I'd also had the first, displaced kind several years ago). Finally found it a couple of weeks ago at Kroger.
DeleteMargaret, I was lucky in that I got my second shingles shot in early February, right before the pandemic came roaring in the next month. But, even then the second shot wasn’t widely available. I got mine at Target.
DeleteI think this pandemic has, in many ways, woken up a lot of people, maybe even most people. I think what we need is someone to actually lead us, someone whose goal is to unify.
ReplyDeleteAmen.
DeleteMake it so.
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ReplyDeleteAM
ReplyDeleteThis is different than a war. This is – – you go outside and meet some random person and we could get sick and die. It is disturbing and terrifying and completely life altering. Emotionally and physically. And mentally.
Yes, I understand stoicism, and bravery, and we need that now more than ever.
But there seems to be no sense of doing something for the greater good. The idea that anyone would say “I’m not wearing a mask because I don’t want to” its insane. Why would you go to a bar or be in a crowd? Why? I honestly wonder what those people think is going to happen
Not just that, Hank, but you can then bring it with you, to your family, to your loved ones.
DeleteHank, I find I’m perpetually tired through keeping worry and anger at bay!
DeleteA mask—so small a sacrifice.
Exactly! And..a sacrifice? It's a weapon. Why isn't it a badge of courage and compassion and power? And yes, Judy, SO exactly right.
DeleteA weapon! That's a great image, Hank.
DeleteEven though there was radio during WWII, there was nothing like the constant noise from talk radio, 24 hour news stations, social media and such. The assault on our sensibilities is constant and many, many people have fallen to the drumbeat of hatred and distrust fomented by these mediums for the sake of one group or another. Fear mongering is targeting those who are already a bit suspicious of government. The ugliness is rampant. Hate groups have more reach than ever before. We have been fractured.
ReplyDeleteAlthough police corruption and blatant prejudice is probably the same as always, they are being caught by cameras and they haven't made sufficient rules to rid themselves immediately of their bad apples. Individual policemen and women need to know that hate speech on line means dismissal. Period.
I do not see us coming together for any cause. 9/11 gave us unity for 5 minutes and then we fractured again over how to respond. Honestly, we are a very different country than we were during WWII. Do you think Great Britain is unchanged?
I don’t. I think it is now a nation of immigrants for one thing. Not homogeneous not cohesive. No more the feeling of we’re all in this together. That’s why we’re so divided here and it’s our attitude to race and fear if others
DeleteThis is not an excuse, but along with Judy's comments, above--it has become increasingly clear that much of the distrust and fear-mongering on the right was and is fanned by foreign interests--just like something out of a Helen MacInnes' book. The maskless crowd with guns that forced their way into the Michigan statehouse to confront Governor Whitmer, for example. People don't think things through for themselves, don't seek information from a variety of sources, aren't willing to even hear a point of view that differs from their own. My own brother gets his news from one source, a cousin listens only to what her evangelical pastor says. The hate and the fear, along with the Covid-19, is what's wearing me down the most. I'm constantly riding herd on youngest nephew--'yes, you have your mask on, but PLEASE wear it properly'. I have been reading to cope--on #9 of the Mitford books. Hang in there, Rhys.
ReplyDeleteI agree, media is making our differences more profound. I've never experienced anything like this in my lifetime... dealt by mother nature OR and compounded by incompetent and divisive politicians.
ReplyDeleteJudy makes excellent points above. The constant barrage of media is unprecedented. Even during the aftermath to 9/11 we were not using social media the way we do today, and we could catch our collective breath between onslaughts of constant information, good, bad or indifferent.
ReplyDeleteAbout the toilet paper shortage: I see that coming back, and way worse than it was before. All those fires are rapidly consuming the source of toilet paper, paper towels, paper napkins, paper plates, paper cups, and paper bags, all things we use for moments and discard without thinking. Paper is going to be the new plastic, a substance that we try desperately to replace with something else less precious.
That's a very interesting point Karen, and one I hadn't thought of. I do know, living in Maine, that the tree-to-pulp supply lines are rigidly defined by the end product. We have one of the largest paper mills left in Maine near me, and it produces glossy paper for magazines. That's it. The company owns millions of acres of forestland in the state, and the harvest goes to... glossy paper for magazines. Not TP, paper towels, paper bags, etc.
DeleteYou made some excellent points, Rhys. Since March I've been thinking that now I'm experiencing a tiny bit of what my family went through during the 1918 Flu, the Great Depression, and WWII. We are so lucky today. We have plenty of food, toilet paper, and the Internet to keep us connected.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I wonder what things will be like when the pandemic is over.
BTW, 9/11 was the second attack on American soil. The first was Pearl Harbor. 9/11 made me realize what an unbelievable shock Pearl Harbor was. 9/11 and COVID have shown me that despite relatively few protestors and idiots, we are still a patriotic country full of people willing to help each other.
Of course, Pearl Harbor! But that was so remote for most people that they didn’t feel the threat. New York and Washington are the heart of the country
DeleteI think one difference these days, as compared to our grandparents' time, is that their lives were really hard even before WWII. Here in America, in 1900, we were still trying to put things back together after the Civil War. Life was hard for everybody except the most wealthy. Then came WWI, and the Spanish flu pandemic that devastated entire rural communities. Then came the rampant crime of the Prohibition era, and the economic collapse of the Great Depression. WWII just seemed like the answer to a weary nation's "What next?"
ReplyDeleteLife was hard for our parents and grandparents. They had to depend on their community--neighbors, churches, benevolent organizations--to support themselves and their large families. No birth control, remember? People of that generation have told me stories of being handed over to orphanages because their parents couldn't feed all the mouths around the family table.
But since the post-WWII boom of the 1950s, life has been increasingly easy. You don't have to depend on your friends and neighbors when your family is small, your salary is generous, and you can afford a house, several cars, and an annual vacation. Community ties are broken, and when we all have to work together for the common good, a lot of people think, "Eh, I'm all right. Let them improve themselves like I did. It builds character." Which translates to, "I've got mine. Who cares about you?"
The tendency to live in a bubble will only increase in a world of polarized politics and information silos. Unless we have leadership that urges us back to community involvement and action, I think life will find a new way to be hard.
Historical question for Rhys: "America has only been attacked once on home soil, and that attack was limited to four planes"? What was Pearl Harbor?
Yes, you’re right Gigi but the number of Americans who had visited Hawaii in those days was minimal so it didn’t feel like an attack that made them vulnerable and afraid in the same way.
DeleteIf my mother was still alive, you could ask her about how she felt, but I'm pretty sure Americans took it personally. Certainly a lot of young American men, including my father and pretty much the entire Dallas Symphony Orchestra, felt threatened enough to enlist as soon as they could.
DeleteGigi, if you haven't read it, you might be interested in BOWLING ALONE: AMERICA'S DECLINING SOCIAL CAPITAL by Robert D. Putnam. He digs into the decline and loss of so many of those organizations you mention, and posits it's a bad thing for democracy when we don't talk to our neighbors, just people on the internet. He wrote it in 2000, and it reads as VERY prescient these days.
DeleteOops. Got the title wrong; the one I gave was for the original essay that preceded the book. BOWLING ALONE: THE COLLAPSE AND REVIVAL OF AMERICAN COMMUNITY.
DeleteWhat a beautiful and thoughtful essay. And such insightful comments, too. I will be reading all day. And in a tiny way, I understand Johns' attitude, because I was in NY on 9/11. I was not directly harmed - no loss of loved one, home, job - but no one who was here that day can ever forget. So when people now say "NY is done" I do say, "No way. We lived through 9/11."
ReplyDeleteTruss, I found that 9/11 absolutely changed New York. I was there shortly afterward and people were polite and spoke to strangers at bus stops
DeleteSo much excellence this morning. Thank you Rhys for your thoughts, and for the other comments. I think the information systems have made the difference. Seventy five years ago, news was fairly tightly controlled through government regulations, and by media barons. Now anyone can start a blog.
ReplyDeleteAn example of controlled information. Rhys you mentioned attacks on American soil. Others spoke of Pearl Harbor. What did happen and is not very well know today is that both the Japanese and the Germans did attack American soil during WWII. The Japanese released fire bombs that flew over Oregon. The Germans torpedoed beaches in the South. These facts were repressed to avoid panic. Today our media has moved closer to mob reporting, by distorting facts, opinions can be changed. The present administration is correct. There is fake news. In my opinion both sides are guilty. Now what will bring us as a people together? The willingness to take the cotton out of our ears and put it in our mouths and listen. Really listen to each other. Listen to the fear, listen to the anger, listen to the negative emotions. Become willing to be a bridge to peace. To quote Roosevelt, the only thing to fear is fear itself. To paraphrase Churchill: we shall find the cure, whatever the cost may be. We shall wear masks on the beaches, we shall stand fast on the landing grounds, we shall stay connected in the fields and in the streets, we shall heal in the hills; we shall never surrender. Covid 19 will not win.
Thank you all may your day bring happiness.
Thanks for the very uplifting thoughts, Coralee!
DeleteI just wish we had a Churchill to say it, Coralee! You need a leader to inspire and unite
DeleteI disagree about media outlets! Those on the right lie and have no interest in the truth but for their own gain. Legitimate media outlets do try to be neutral and do not overtly promote hate!
DeleteThank you, Coralee for the reminder of the invasion of the Aleutian Islands and the Battle of Adak in WWI.
DeleteIt is very disturbing to see the videos of anti maskers marching through stores like Target and Walmart putting everyone else at risk. I only do curbside or delivery shopping now and pick up prescriptions twice a month at the small pharmacy where I only see a few people. I cross the street when I’m out walking if someone is in my path. I did have one haircut in my hairdresser’s backyard with both of us wearing masks. My husband and I have had dinner outside at a restaurant several times but probably won’t do that again because of the risk. I can only control myself, not others is the mantra that runs through my head. It doesn’t seem to help to confront others when they are being selfish. They just get more belligerent.
ReplyDeleteTeri, I find myself muttering to myself when I see someone not wearing a mask--and keep repeating to myself "Be quiet!" Because you never know what might happen if someone were to hear me. But I'm so angry at people refusing to do such a simple thing. It's a sorry state of affairs.
DeleteI do confront them, much to John’s worry. I usually start politely “ could you please pull cover your face because we’re in the most vulnerable group . That usually works but I’ve gone on to say “I respect your rights but I have rights too and your rights end where my rights start. So you have to stay well away from me and hold your breath!
DeleteMost people in the Bay Area wear masks. I haven’t seen anyone without a mask in a long time. I’m going to stores and eating out in restaurants because the current risk is minimal, especially in Santa Clara County.
DeleteSo true, Coralee. My dad used to fly with patrols over Galveston Bay looking for U-boats. And the island observed blackouts nightly. News was tightly controlled. Both my parents were on the island when a hurricane hit. No one was warned ahead of time for security reasons.
ReplyDeleteAs for our current situation, I don't know the answer. I know life and history moves in cycles and we seem to be in the stupid selfish cycle right now. Or the ignorant cycle. Take your pick. I think a big part of the problem is people don't blindly trust the government anymore. I grew up believing the government would never lie to or harm its citizens. The sixties pretty much trashed that myth. Not that it hadn't happened before. The news services and the media used to play the game and go along with the rules government gave them. Not anymore.
Excellent post, Rhys. I'm amazed by what people consider hardship. A scrap of cloth over your face is oppression? It boggles.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who basically has his television on 24/7 well maybe not 24/7 but I think it's only off when he goes to bed, and this has been going on about 20 years ago. I think that when you live through a crisis of any kind you find to a way to make you feel you can survive. For my friend, Jim it's that television on and it's 90% on the news. I have purposely learn to turn off my television and not watch the news before I go to bed. I have bad dreams enough I don't need them feed by the news. As for being individuals and not supporting each other, yeah I see that too. I live all by myself I'm estranged from my mother's family. Do I really think I could call them if I had to, tell you truth I don't know. And as for the hoarding of necessary items, I just shake my head. I can say that I never went out and bought more than 1 package of toilet paper or Kleenex or paper towels at a time. I just didn't think it was necessary because I was by myself. I will say that there was one time that I thought I might run out it before I finally got to find another package of toilet paper without borrowing from the office, talk about embarrassing. A lot of us are yet again living through the "lovely" fires on the west coast, others are living through floods and hurricanes in the south and there is the never ending politics that are always in our face. I think the willingness to help each other happens when an immediate need is there but not often for the long-term follow through that's needed to sustain. Maybe I'm wrong but I don't know.
ReplyDeleteI personally blame Fox News and all the other media outlets taken over by their owners. No journalistic standards, just lies and hate, Also, the level of education of whites in red states has declined dramatically. The quality of the schools in some rural areas is an abomination. Racism plays a large part as does the evangelical Christian groups. These groups are not the sole cause but they certainly haven’t helped the situation.
ReplyDeleteRhys, while I can understand where your husband is coming from, I have to say that I feel the same way as you do.
ReplyDeleteEven though I am not "vulnerable", I am painfully aware that I could carry the COVID 19 virus WITHOUT KNOWING. I ALWAYS WEAR A MASK. I've seen a few people wearing masks HALFWAY - not covering their noses at all! .
This pandemic is bringing out the worst and best in us all. I am TRYING to stay sane during the pandemic. Going grocery shopping during senior hour once a month. And essentials at the pharmacy once a month. We have a dentist's appointment tomorrow. Fingers crossed that all will go well.
Even when California reopens for business, I am STILL not sitting outside at a restaurant because there is always someone who walks by BOT wearing a mask. Ordering books online instead of shopping in person.
There is a town in Southern California where NO ONE is wearing masks!
Speaking of Brits, I really wish that members of the Royal Family would always wear masks. I've seen some of them wear masks sometimes. I noticed that the Duchess and Duke of Sussex always wear their masks. They live in CA, not England.
Thank you for a great post!
Diana
I think there are 3 types of people in this pandemic: those who hardly go out at all, those who go out with masks and social distancing, and those who go everywhere without masks and social distancing. If the last group really wants business to get back to normal, wear your damn masks! Because the first 2 groups aren't going out without masks anytime soon! I know I won't patronize any place that doesn't require masks.
ReplyDeleteWe just had church suspended for 2 weeks because someone tested positive for Covid-19 and had been at a church outdoor movie night. Luckily for me and most others she hadn't been at church recently. I really don't think any soldier died for the right to go stores and restaurants without masks. Stay safe and well.
Hear hear, Rhys. Over here in Britain we look like being in for the predicted "second wave" of COVID, which is a pain but no real surprise. Keeping calm and carrying on is nearly all we can do - not quite all, because staying safe is important too, and applying a touch of common sense. Our grandmas would have told us all to "use your common, dear," and that's still pretty good advice
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