JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: We - meaning the Maine Millennial and I - had our first dinner guests over since last summer (my entertaining area is a patio in the middle of the back garden, great for summer breezes but deeply unsuited for last winter's outdoor socializing.) It was as easy a meal as you could get; the two guests brought pizzas, beverages and wine, and all I had to provide were the dishes, glasses and napkins.
So I was surprised at how, well, complicated it all seemed. The napkins were shoved onto their shelf any which way, with no attempt to keep sets together, let alone unwrinkled. The wine glasses were dusty and I couldn't even find any of Pilsner glasses. My nice water pitchers had been moved to the top shelf (which I can't reach) and I had to drag a chair over to retrieve one.
It sounds like I was the victim of Borrowers, but the truth, of course, is that I did it to myself. No one except my children have set foot inside the house in well over a year, and the last time I entertained was Christmas 2019. Why keep water pitchers close at hand when anyone in the house will fill up their glass at the sink? Why not stick the napkins any which way after they've been laundered - no one's trying to make a set. And of course, I've been keeping a dry house since the Maine Millennial moved back in with me (she'll be three years sober on June 1st!) which explains the wine glasses.
Friends, it was a daunting moment. As much as I'm thrilled to be fully vaccinated, as much as I'm looking forward to theater and movies and dining in restaurants, I realized... I'm going to have to be changing some things around here, which I will helpfully enumerate for your reading enjoyment.
1. Exercise. The closure of the Y gave me an excellent excuse to stop any form of exertion other than walking the dog. I used to swim and lift weights but since the beginning of 2020... not so much. Between that and the "self-care" chocolate consumption, I'm looking a LOT more like my sweet southern mawmaw, i.e., pillow-y. Not a problem when all anyone sees of me is mid-chest upwards, but at some point, people are going to see my whole bod again. I know I'm never going to be Dara Torres, but it would be nice to not be Shamu.
2. Clothing. Closely related to the above, I realized I'm actually going to have to occasionally wear an outfit where the top matches the bottom, instead of a dressy blouse with a pair of yoga pants with a hole in the thigh. And I may need to put on actual shoes instead of sneakers or slippers. I don't care what's expected, though, I'm never getting into heels again.
3. Cleaning. In the before times, friends might drop in with little or short notice, or I might extend an impromptu invitation for lunch. That kept me on my toes, cleaning-wise, and my customary large holiday dinners forced me to deep clean two or three times a year. In my head, I was a pretty competent housewife, but looking around at the gentle layer of dust over every unused surface, I'm forced to admit it was a delusion born of necessity. Apparently, when no one comes through the door for fourteen months, the interior of my house begins to resemble the Addams Family mansion. Would you believe cobwebs indicate my love and respect for nature? Yeah, me neither.
4. Church. Don't get me wrong. I miss my beautiful church and fully participating in the Eucharist. But - and I'm going to be frank here - it's a good half hour drive away. And I need to shower and do my hair and put on a decent outfit (no holey yoga pants!) which means setting the alarm for 8 or 8:15am. You know what I did during the pandemic? I rolled out of bed at 9:55 and turned on my laptop. We've been streaming services for a while, so I don't even need to turn off my video to disguise the fact I'm drinking a big mug of tea in my pajamas. I know I can't get away with the jammies when I go back in person, but I may bring my tea in a travel mug and say the heck with it.
5. Socializing. Who didn't like the fact the world gave you a built-in excuse not to go? Now I'm going to have to think of something else to keep from showing up. Maybe I can claim the dog has separation anxiety. And she expresses it by pooping inside. You wouldn't expect me to come to the baby shower under those circumstances, would you?
We're all thankful the world is opening up again. But let's not kid ourselves; a lot of us are kind of like slugs when the rock has been overturned - pale, slow-moving, and blinded by the light. Remember, it's okay to take it one step at a time: a single sit-up, a pretty skirt with an elastic waist, one room in the house fit for guests (close the doors on everything else.) And what the heck, St. Luke's has a 5:15pm service Sundays. Maybe I'll ease back in with that.
What are the changes you're going to have to make in our brave new world, dear readers?
Well, now I hadn’t given much thought to changes, but I suppose I should. Let me see . . .
ReplyDeleteExercise. Nope, Not my favorite thing, so anything more than I’m already doing is not happening.
Clothing. It’s tough having to give up the comfy clothes, but it’s doable. But I’m keeping the comfy shoes.
Cleaning. Well, we’ve been pretty good about staying on top of this, so we’re probably okay . . . .
Church. Oh, I definitely dislike the drive, but I’m so not a fan of Zoom Church, so it’s up at seven again . . . .
Socializing. Company? Oh, goody, goody!
While everyone quibbles about mask/no mask and whatever else they’ve found to fuss about, I’m planning to enjoy just being out and about and doing all those ordinary things again . . . .
Go for it, Joan!
DeleteCleaning is going to have to happen. My son and his wife are going to stay overnight on Saturday!! That means deep cleaning the guest room, and while we're at it, my office is way, way overdue.
ReplyDeleteI'm over the moon that we are resuming in-person Friends Meeting. Masked to start, but Zoom worship just wasn't making it for me. The service is at ten and it's a fifteen-minute walk to our simple, light-filled historic Meetinghouse. I can't wait.
Oh, and for the other stuff? My author clothes still fit and my other clothes haven't changed, although I am taking measures on the weight and am down a couple of much-needed pounds, which makes it slightly easy to button the "good" jeans. I'll keep power walking for an hour a day. And I'mm loving socializing with dear (vaccinated) ones. Having different sets of people here three times this weekend!
DeleteYou are definitely up and running, Edith!
DeleteJulia, I went to a family get together last weekend, and the shock of having to put on REAL PANTS was daunting. Shoes? Mine were covered in that dust you mention. And just last week I was thinking MY house looked like the Addams Family residence.
ReplyDeleteAs for excuses, my cat really IS suffering from separation anxiety. She's had me home for so long, she's certain she's going to die of starvation when I leave for an hour or two.
Annette, there are a lot of pets who are going to be very woebegone once we all can get away more and more of us go back to offices.
DeleteJulia, congrats to your oldest on the three years come June 1st.
ReplyDeleteFor me:
Exercise: Hell, I've never been a fan of it in the first place so of course I haven't done much of it all this time. I take a walk when I get the mail at my job but that's about it. Much to my doctor's chagrin. He will be telling me that I need to socially distance from my fridge when I have my yearly physical in August.
Clothing: Well, I never got to be lazy with clothing choices because I have been at work since June 8th of last year. And I don't do virtual stuff so I never had to worry about just the top half looking good on camera.
Cleaning: I could do better but I'm not living in the Addams Family house either. And I don't have people over anyway so I'm not experiencing that kind of stress.
Church: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is not something I have worried about ever. I don't do religion.
Socializing: Well, I don't know that I'll be doing any more socializing than I have been. Lunch with my friend Ann every few weeks, lunch with awesome authors when they are on the Cape (Hi Edith!) and my weekly stop at the comic store. Beyond that, I'm not going to concerts any time soon. I don't see book signings coming back in the near future and given that I'm an early onset curmudgeon, it isn't like I feel a deep need to be socializing with all that many people in the first place.
"Early onset curmudgeon". Love it. Come to think of it, that explains a family member in three words. Thanks, Jay!
DeleteLove that term "early onset curmudgeon". A relative calls himself a curmudgeon and it is funny because I grew up thinking that he always has a cheerful personality.
DeleteDiana
Jay, I like the idea of socially distancing from the fridge!
DeleteI saw a meme a few days ago that said "I thought my dryer shrunk my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator."
ReplyDeleteAnd another that said something about the CDC not yet allowing pants with buttons to be worn.
I'm pretty sure I've gained the Covid 19, but I'm putting off weighing myself. There's enough to be depressed about. However, I am up and walking now, doing my exercises, and as soon as I can get rid of this damn boot, I will start walking the dogs again.
But only if I don't have to hug the neighbors.
Ann, why don't refrigerators come with a warning?!
Deletethere was a funny meme about CDC saying that you do not need to wear a bra. LOL
DeleteDiana
I want Dr. Fauci to come out and tell us putting on "the 2020 20" is fine. Of course, he's however old and still power walks with his wife, sigh...
DeleteAnn, you hug your neighbors?
DeleteWow, I barely even acknowledge my neighbors much less have physical contact with them. :D
I know all my neighbors well, and so many I’ve not seen since before the plague. Even it’s the new guidelines however, I don’t want anyone within hugging distance.
DeleteOh Julia, what a list. Ok here I go
ReplyDeleteExercise- Ha,Ha. I am the queen of good intentions. To the extent that I bought not one but two desk Exercycles last year and use them - well, when the mood strikes. I was pillowy before and will continue to be pillowy I fear.
Clothing- same old, same old. See pillowy above. But shoes, I didn't keep track of my excursions to Zappo, and the said excursions to UPS to return. But it was a big part of last year's social scene.
Cleaning- I have help! There confession over. Cleaning is the loss of good reading time. Now if you had mentioned filing, oh but you didn't did you?
Church - well I may be joining you for the 5:15.
Socializing- drinks with nibbles may become my new invitation. Otherwise, much as I love to cook, I am sooooo tired of my kitchen. Lunch out twice last week really, really works for me. I ordered dessert to go at the end of the meal and that covered supper too.
A dessert that stands in for supper is my kind of menu, Celia. I hope it was decadent.
DeleteGigi, unfortunately, it wasn't a rather ho hum carrot cake coming from one of the better restaurants in Portland which I won't shame here as the deconstructed chicken pot pie I ate there was just delicious.Having just left my poor V at the hospital for the third time in 6 weeks with reocurring pneumonia, I decided some self care was needed before I could check on admittance or no. So lunch out it was, outside in the sun - Delicious.
DeleteCelia, I was glad to see your post on Facebook that Victor was back home and looking good!
DeleteWhew!
DeleteWe're traveling to visit our first grandchild and I am freaking out about breathing the same air as people with no masks. Plus all the usual: cobwebs, filthy windows, knee-high weeds, and cicadas infected with a psilocybin fungus (will the dogs trip if they've eaten Massospora Cicadino-infested cicadas?)
ReplyDeleteMargaret, I'm pretty sure that most of the qualms people have about taking their masks off represent collective trauma. Just trying to imagine myself going maskless into my grocery store gives me palpitations.
DeleteFirst off, congratulations to the Millennial - that's a huge achievement. My son announced yesterday that he's giving up vaping, and he's already feeling the withdrawal - so fingers crossed for that.
ReplyDeleteAs for me:
Exercise: Yes. I'm thinking about joining a gym just so I can go down a few nights a week and ride a stationary bike, maybe lift a couple weights. On the advice of my doctor.
Clothing: Well, since I worked from home 100% before the pandemic, this won't change a whole lot. But yeah, time to see whether the stuff I have for when I DO have to go out still fits/looks nice/is semi-stylish, etc.
Cleaning: We have a dog. He doesn't shed much, but a little. We run the vacuum and dust. Don't like dust and dog hair? Don't come to my house. LOL
Church: We went back to in-person, masked attendance a while ago, but you had to sign up and it was such a hassle, I too curled up in a chair with my laptop and a big mug of tea. Except on those days I had to sing. But starting in June, they are doing away with the sign-ups and mask requirement for the fully vaccinated (per the CDC guidelines), but not the distancing, so I will probably go back. Fortunately, whatever church in my parish I choose, the drive is 10 minutes or less.
Socializing: Introvert that I am, I'm looking forward to this. My critique group is meeting face-to-face in June for the first time since last...I can't remember. I am ridiculously excited. But yes, a built-in excuse to stay home was nice when the do-I-really-have-to invites showed up.
Liz, good luck to your son. One of Victoria's friends got caught in vaping - it's ridiculous that it was marketed to young people as safe, fun and cool. Although of course, that's how cigarettes were sold in the 40s and 50s...
DeleteExercise - still have mobility issues - so one step at a time. Definitely caught the covid-19 weigh.
ReplyDeleteClothing - work clothes still in closet - because I had outside appointments, top and bottoms were worn
Cleaning - don't like dust or clutter - so cleaning continues to be done
Church - yeah, no
Socializing - looking forward to it, one person at a time
One person at a time (or thereabouts) sounds like a good way to start, Dru. I loved having my "foster daughter" and her gentleman friend over, but I was exhausted after socializing for a few hours!
DeleteWe just accepted our first "formal" invitation - a wedding in July. It seems strange and when I looked in my closet I realized that neither my "dress/date" clothes nor my entire non-sport shoe collection made the trip from Florida to Maine. Gee, all those four inch heels are missing. Won't be replacing them :), but I would like to have the dresses. I'd not noticed before because, well, we arrived here last July. They may still be in my Florida closet.
ReplyDeleteI've been exercising daily and hiking often so exercise is not a problem. Cleaning is on-going since I hate dust. Church - I'll probably keep attending streaming services from a Church in Savannah that uses the old Book of Common Prayer. I find comfort in those services, and I hope they continue them. Socializing - Looking forward to seeing some old friends and attending conventions again!
Kait, I love the old BCP! They use it at my church's 7:30am services, but as you can imagine, that's a bit too early for me.
DeleteThree cheers for three years of sobriety to Victoria! With no alcohol in the house, Julia, at least you didn't gain that weight, too. I saw friends on Sunday--a very good day--and one couple had extreme weight issues. He quit drinking and lost 20 pounds. She took up his share and probably gained at least fifty.
ReplyDeleteExercise: because of what appeared to be long-haul Covid issues, I spent most of the last year sleeping, and turning doughier and doughier. Now that the second shot seems to have resolved most of the deep fatigue I'm doing a lot more, but still need to get some aerobic activity in.
Clothing: I never did give in to the temptation to wear yoga pants. And I still wore lipstick every day. My husband and I spent more time together in the last year than in any of the previous 43 years of our relationship, and he counts as someone I want to look nice for.
Cleaning: I've kept up with it, mostly. Like Dru, I dislike a messy house. We washed the windows a couple months ago, and that made a huge difference.
Church? We never went to begin with, heathens that we are.
Socializing: with my mom here all last week it's already begun. I took her to have lunch with her every-morning McDonald's friends, a group she'd been meeting with for 15 years, including a woman she has known since first grade. They're both 91 now. Neither of us had seen my one remaining aunt, so we picked her up and took her with us, too. Baptism by fire, so to speak. A friend of Steve's from California invited himself here--the sheer chutzpah!--and he's arriving in a couple days. I am NOT ready for that, and have banished them to the farm after the first night.
Oh, and we are having our first in-person book club this week! The last one was January of 2020. We've been Zooming all year. I can't wait to see everyone, and more importantly, to share yummy food.
DeleteWow, a self-invite... yeah, it seems early days for that sort of thing. I have two friends I can call up and say, "Would this be a good time for me to come?" - and in fact we've talked about a visit - but I'd definitely take it slow.
DeleteSelf-invited? Oh Hell NO! That's the kind of thing that if it happened to me I'd be looking at them and say right to their face, "Do I look like a Holiday Inn?"
DeleteMega congrats to the Maine Millennial on her upcoming 3-year milestone. So great!
ReplyDeleteExercise: I clearly don't do it. I do like to walk and bike, but I prefer doing either activity to get from A to B (home to work or vice versa). Doing it solely because I should because it's good for me, not so much.
Clothing: The temps are warm to hot these days, so my iron is out for the linen and cotton I like to wear. Button up pants or shorts remain standard; it's the belts I no longer need. Sigh.
Cleaning: Twice a week, like clockwork. I don't do it. Our cleaning fairy does. Problem solved.
Church: not an issue
Socializing: I look forward to regular Saturday morning coffee and scones with my friend Deborah. On her front porch rather than in the kitchen. That will be so good. But first, Manitoba needs to get well below our current 14% test positivity rate. Sheesh.
Holy cow, that's a high rate, Amanda. i can see why you'd be erring on the side of caution.
Delete14%! Whoa. Be careful. I value highly my CTP*
Delete* Canadian Therapy Persons
We went out to dinner, outside, at a place in a nearby suburb where they’ve closed off a big city street and it’s filled with restaurants. Tables on the streets and sidewalks, and very festive. It was otherworldly, like being on another planet, I really have to say. I agree there’s going to be a transition… We all got used to staying at home, and I really understand the desire just to stay there.
ReplyDeleteHank, here in Portland, the city closed off several streets in order to allow restaurants to spill outside their otherwise small spaces, and I've read it's been so well received, they're going to keep the areas closed to vehicular traffic for good! Maybe the pandemic will have the side effect of reshaping some of our public spaces for the better.
DeleteHank, now that you've eaten out for dinner what was the final tally on how many days in a row you cooked a meal at home?
DeleteOh dear! I really have to do some, make that lots, of cleaning. But there is work to do outside, too. However, I have started an exercising thing - I call it exercising anyway - that I do while I am waiting for my tea. I couldn't stand the sight of my ugly arms to I bought some hand weights and I am doing things with them. Even if I don't see any difference I am hoping that I am at least strengthening those bones and muscles.
ReplyDeleteAs for clothes, unless I am invited to something very formal that I can't get out of, I am probably okay.
Judi, I've read that even a little bit of weight-bearing exercise helps strength and bone density no matter what your age. So keep it going with those hand weights - fitting it in between times sounds brilliant, and is probably what I should do.
DeleteJudi, I have wrist weights that I’ve just started strapping on to dust, make the bed, and push the mop around in the last couple of weeks. Maybe I have a good imagination, but my arms feel stronger and don’t ache as much. Keep on with your hands weights.
DeleteThe first thing I did when I'd been fully vaccinated was head over to Marshalls. I bought bedroom slippers since I'd worn mine out. And I Facetimed my daughter from inside the store to commemorate the moment.
ReplyDeleteExercise: walking (about a year ago I realized the exercise classes I was taking were making my various joint ailments worse instead of better.)
Cleaning: Like Amanda I am so fortunate to have Tina who comes every other week and does a million times better job that I'd ever do, and knowing she'll be coming keeps us from creating too many embarrassing messes.
Church: blank look
Socializing: I'm back to chatting over the fence with my wonderful neighbors on all sides. My husband has health issues that keep him from being vaccinated so I'm afraid it will be awhile before we take even the smallest risk.
Hallie, that's the one thing I keep thinking about as far as going mask off - what about the folks around me who can't get vaccinated?
DeleteFirst, let me join in congratulating the Maine Millennial. Truly something to be proud of!
ReplyDeleteExercise: I actually increased mine during the pandemic, as a way of managing mental as well as physical health. So that's OK.
Clothing: I have worked a hybrid schedule for the last 9 months or so, thus I was able to transition gradually. But makeup is kind of an issue for me. Throughout the pandemic, all I wore was mascara. I put on lipstick for an evening out with vaccinated friends on Saturday and it felt like heaven. But foundation? I think I'm going to call my naked face "aging gracefully" and keep letting it be naked, except maybe for formal occasions. It just feels like too much work with too little payoff at this point.
Cleaning: I have never considered myself a good housekeeper, but yes, the current situation is pretty bad. My sister-in-law called and asked if she can come stay with us Memorial Day weekend, so I have to tame the monster. Within the next two weeks.
Church: We started back a while ago, though they have lifted the distancing requirement as of June 5 and I am a little nervous about that.
Socializing: I suddenly have a full social calendar! (Reasonable things, like dinner out with one vaccinated couple at a time, or outdoor graduation parties.) But after all those months in my house, I have zero desire to entertain.
One other transition I am dreading: normal commutes. As I said, I have been working in the office a couple days a week for about 9 months, but with OSU and many major employers all virtual, driving to and from work was a breeze. I can hardly find words for how much I dread dealing with an actual rush hour again.
Susan, I lived in Mt. Air, right off Olentangy River Road, just before I moved north. And traffic was one of the reasons I wanted to leave.
DeleteFlora, I know that area well. You would have been especially vulnerable to OSU traffic, as it can screw up the entirety of Route 315!
DeleteSusan, are they bringing you all back five days a week? I have a couple friends who've been doing the hybrid home/office schedule and they're going to be keeping to that going forward. Then there's my brother-in-law: his DC-area office is staying shut, and everyone is continuing to work from home (I suspect they're going to downsize their physical space because square footage is $$$ in that market.)
DeleteMy husband an IT Director for Kaiser, will remain 100% virtual. They already had to move out of their building a few months ago. His team is all over California and some in Colorado. They will meet once a quarter at different locations, in reserved conference spaces in remaining buildings.
DeleteJulia, I had expected to stay on the hybrid model indefinitely, possibly needing to work in the office more during a few busy periods. But about a week-and-a-half ago the software we use for our VPN (the tool that gives us access to everything at the office) found a security vulnerability, so they shut it down! Until either they get that fixed, or we finish moving all the stuff we currently have on physical servers out to the cloud, I am abruptly back in the office 5 days a week. It is very depressing, and has really highlighted how much more efficient I can be from home. I thought the hybrid model was perfect -- there are some benefits to interacting with co-workers on a regular basis, but boy can I get more work done at home without the distractions!
DeleteSusan, me too on the exercise. I was zooming yoga classes 3-4 times a week, sometimes daily, so I wouldn't lose my marbles completely. I won't let 2-3 times a week slip away. And I swear I'm going to walk more with Lottie since my plantar fasciitis is improving. Certain pants cannot be buttoned...
ReplyDeleteBut I do love your advice about doing one sit-up!
Of course, the trick is you then have to do two on the next day, etc...
DeleteCongratulations to the Maine Millennial!
ReplyDeleteExercise- I can no longer take long walks because of my knee so I bike. Only on very flat routes. But it’s fresh air, sunlight, and gentle cardio.
Clothing- I have nice casual, no dress up. I’ve been wearing jeans so I know I haven’t gained weight.
Cleaning- yes, the place is dusty and needs to be straightened up but it’s not too bad.
Synagogue- not for many years
Socializing- that’s about to get interesting. I’m going to cat and apartment sit for my daughter in NY. Which means a new environment. I will be getting together with friends and family I haven’t seen in years, including a large family gathering. I’m very much looking forward to it while feeling major butterflies.
All in all I’m looking forward to this next phase.
Oh, Ann, I have to say, I would love to spend time in NYC. Being "someplace else" that's also a home instead of a hotel sounds perfect.
DeleteYou know we're within commuting distance to Manhattan, Julia. There's a room just waiting for you.
DeleteI've made no secret of the fact that I love working from home, or just being home. I've caught up on so much sleep this past year that I sometimes even get out of bed in the morning feeling rested and energetic. So, as we move back toward the new normal, here's where I stand:
ReplyDeleteExercise--I need some. I try to work at least a little movement into every day, but physical work like gardening and outdoor chores can leave me winded. They also impact my bad knee and bad ankles, so I guess I need to stop thinking in terms of long dog walks, and start exploring bicycles instead.
Clothing--I was a pretty casual dresser anyway, but now, as I contemplate going back to actual in-the-office work, I'm trying to figure out how to confine the girls without at bra or the double layer of support cami and top-I'd-wear-in-public. The shoes went to flats eons ago.
Cleaning--Let's face it. My house is a shrine to dust and dog hair. I don't mind. The dogs don't mind. The cats keep their opinions to themselves.
Church--As a pagan, I count that as gardening and refilling the bird feeder, so business as usual.
Socializing--I went out to the Farmer's Market and the garden center with Debs! I met Julia for Italian food and we sat indoors! (There were only two other parties in the restaurant.) We all laughed and laughed and laughed. It was so much fun. As my friend, Julia said when I came to pick her up, "It's been years since I went out with a sexy date in a hot red car!" We should probably do that again.
Gigi, I don't know how you feel about the Y, but that's why I joined - my doctor suggested swimming as a good exercise that won't hurt my ready-to-be-replaced knees. It's more of a time suck than biking, that's for sure, but it feels SO good. Being in and around water makes me happy.
DeleteI think of the Y as a distant, mythic destination. There isn't one around here, although there are an assortment of public pools and rec centers. I'm not a fan, although I do love water.
DeleteExercise--push myself to walk every day, no matter the season. Kept part of my sanity last year by getting outside. Cleaning or yard work? That is the question. Yard work is winning at the moment, so nephews can pick up the slack indoors or not. A Gigi noted, the cats are keeping their opinions to themselves, as well they should. Clothing and socializing--doing my best to fit into something nice for a family wedding party at the end of the month. Church? I am a church. :-)
ReplyDeleteComing back a moment to celebrate with the Mine Millennial her three years!! And the fact that she's not afraid to share the journey she's on--I read your columns all the time, MM. And to Mom for keeping a dry establishment. My house is usually so dry, you should've seen my nephew's face when I asked him to pick up a can of beer--for the slugs.
DeleteThank you, Flora! I'm very proud of her. Keeping a dry house wasn't that hard, as I'm the sort who tends to drink as a social thing with friends anyway.
DeleteI’m howling with laughter here! I’m an introvert with extrovert tendencies and the pandemic has made the introvert takeover my personality garden like an invasive weed. Plus, my home is a disaster of half done projects and I don’t care. Frankly, I don’t know if I’ll ever go back out there again.
ReplyDeleteJenn,
DeleteI'm an extrovert with introvert tendencies.
Diana
I think I may just be inverted.
DeleteRhys: I am finally inviting my house cleaner back now she is vaccinated. Thank heavens. It has been stressful to have to decide between keeping yo my writing deadline and mopping the floor. ( of course husband doesn’t notice!)
ReplyDeleteBut tonight we are having dinner guests, inside, for the first time. This will be a shock, starting with where do I keep the tablecloths
Let us know how it goes, Rhys! And check the glasses - honestly, I thought mine were clean and dust-free...
DeleteFirst, big congratulations to the MM!! 3 years is awesome!!
ReplyDeleteExercise: The dogs must be walked, so I do that as much as my bum knee allows. Trying to get back to doing my knee extensions every day. Gardening!
Clothing: I can still get into my jeans--I actually have worn them twice in the last couple of weeks. But my winter 2019/20 "good" clothes are still in the bedroom closet, and really need to be switched out with the 2019 "good" summer clothes. I did buy a cute new summer dress, but honestly I have NO desire to dress up in anything uncomfortable.
Cleaning: I did my best, but it definitely wasn't good enough. We have our wonderful Carolina back now, with her crew, and she was pretty horrified by the results of fifteen months of my housekeeping. And now I have more time to write!
Church: nope.
Socializing: It has been fabulous to have friends IN THE HOUSE, and fun to do drinks and snacks, but I'm finding I have no desire to have people over for dinner. Way too much time spent in the kitchen this past year... Maybe I can push myself into a grilling on the deck get-together before it gets too hot.
Debs, whenever I find myself thinking about socializing, it's outdoors. I think I've become so used to it it's become a preference now! Of course, it's the start of an all-too-short warm season here in Maine. I may feel differently in November.
DeleteMy church started meeting for outdoor services a couple of months ago. It's been an adjustment for sure.
ReplyDeleteMy condo has never been cleaner, however. All the time at home made me motivated to clean. I'm kind of worried that will go away when we start going outside again.
I'm with you on most of these things. Having to be social again is going to be an adjustment.
It's like a muscle, isn't it, Mark? I outdoor socialized with friends maybe once a month throughout the winter. I enjoyed it immensely, but would feel SO tired afterwards. One or two folks at a time for the immediate future sounds about what I can handle.
DeleteI read the blog at 7:00 am but still can't get it together to respond to all your queries, Julia. Let's just say that if I don't clear off the dining room table and file all of the stuff that is sitting there; if I don't sort or toss the bags of cooking magazines; if I don't go through the boxes and boxes of family photographs sitting on the guestroom floor, this house will not be ready for guests ever again.
ReplyDeleteExercise, still not motivated.
Clothes? Hm-m-m. Got dressed up for Mother's Day, in a dress and heels. But, most pants and jeans are just a little tight. Need to exercise (see above).
Congratulations to THe Maine Millenial! I am sure that she is very proud of this huge accomplishment. Becoming a "dry" establishment was a big commitment from a loving mom.
Thanks, Judy! I'm super proud of her. And my guestroom? Is still holding all the Christmas decor I never carted up into the attic! Your family photos aren't that bad in comparison.
DeleteI’ve never much liked staying home, and it was quite difficult for me to get used to not going anywhere, The few things I kept up with were PT appointments (they had only one patient at a time on the premises), and grocery shopping at odd hours. The store was always crowded during the senior shopping hour, so I ended up going at other times when most people were at work. Now that there are fewer restrictions I’m kind of at loose ends, because I still feel a little uneasy around crowds. (I’m more of an introvert but before Covid I liked being surrounded by people; I just preferred listening to talking!) I returned to church on Palm Sunday, and the church has slowly begun to fill up since then as more people get vaccinated. This coming Sunday we will once again be able to sit wherever we want but masks will still be required. I have done some outdoor dining. As recently as a week ago, I was afraid to eat indoors at a restaurant. I’m now beginning to think that I might be able to handle it. I haven’t gotten dressed up at all, except for church. I don’t have plans to dress up for a little while yet because I’m having knee replacement surgery in about four weeks, and the post-surgery dress code is the same one I’ve been living by for the past year:-) I’ve been exercising all along, as I have lots of PT homework to do every day. The house is a mess because (1) nobody has been here, so why bother? and (2) my knee protests loudly when I try to do anything. I’m trying to get some things done, though, because there will be a nurse and a physical therapist coming in for a couple of weeks after the surgery. Mustn’t let them think I’m a hoarder! Or a slob!
ReplyDeleteDebRo
I don't know, DebRo, I would lean into "my knee has been too bad to do housework" pretty hard. Who's going to believe you, if not the nurse and physical therapist?
DeleteDefinitely cleaning. But I think the thing I am really going to have to adjust too is playdates! No child not related to me has been in my house in over a year and I . . . like it. Outdoor-only playdates are great. My kids' friends turn up and they go to the yard or into the woods and I don't have to be embarrassed about how messy the house is or how lame our snacks are! Also, the kids have gotten so much more creative about activities since they can only be outdoors.
ReplyDeleteSarah, you can revert to the seventies style of mothering - kick all the kids outdoors and don't let them back in until dinnertime. Meet them at the door with Dixie cups of Kool-Aid when they get thirsty. My mother used to say fresh air and sunshine were good for me; it wasn't until I was an adult she confessed she just needed some space and quiet to get things done.
DeleteI think this is why I like it! It feels like the suburban adventures I remember, where we'd roam the neighborhood yards. My parents would let kids in the house but there were definitely moms who would throw a fit if they found you in their kitchen eating their food.
DeleteJulia,
ReplyDeleteCongratulation to your daughter on the three years sober anniversary!
Great question about changes. I have mixed feelings.
As California is easing its way into reopening in June, for the first time since the pandemic lockdown started last year I noticed people smoking again. YIKES! I hope that people will continue to social distance in public because there have been times when someone shoved me in public because they were in a hurry!
Exercise: I have been taking virtual exercise classes and I hope that when they have in person classes that people will be farther apart than they were before the pandemic. When I went to class, I was worried about accidentally stepping on someone next to me. I MUST exercise because if I do not, my back pays a heavy price. I get back pain if I do not exercise regularly.
Cleaning: Hopefully we will be able to donate clothes somewhere. Many places are NOT accepting donations because of the pandemic.
What other changes? Look forward to seeing my relatives in person again. Look forward to being able to travel. There are many places that I would love to visit that are on my bucket list.
Diana
Diana, I don't know about your area, but the Y (and other gyms) are still limiting the number of people indoors at any one time and have enforced social distancing in classes, the weight room, and even the pool (no more "split lanes" with two people sharing.)
DeleteAlso, the NYTimes said bucket lists are out, and do-it-now lists are in. So start planning those trips!
Julia,
DeleteThat is wonderful news. And I already am planning these trips!
Diana
Julia,
ReplyDeleteForgot to add that I am an extrovert with introvert tendencies. I have been perfectly happy ensconced at home reading lots of books. I go out for walks and grocery shopping.
Diana
Exercise? Hmm. Yeah, I keep thinking I need to do something. Weights or the Schwinn Airdyne (ancient but still works). I'm working myself up to it. Clothing-wise, nothing has really changed. I dress comfortable. I'm buying bigger sizes though so something needs to give. Cleaning? I'm afraid my house looks the same. Dusty. I figure a little dirt and dust only improves one's resistance to illness. Church? We used to drive 60 miles one way to visit the inlaws and take them to church. My husband continued even when his parents were gone. I didn't. I'm sure when things settle down he'll start driving 60 miles to church again. All the people I enjoyed visiting there are gone, one way or another, so I won't be going with him. As for socializing, I was never big on that. Frank socializes enough for both of us. My little brother has resumed coming over once a week to accompany Frank to Monday night gatherings, which I ditched several years ago. The pandemic was a handy excuse to dodge lots of things: get togethers, grocery shopping, etc. I do miss running out to my sister's to visit for a couple of days or so. I don't know when that'll start up again. And we got an informal save-the-date for a wedding in Austin in August. I REALLY don't want to go.
ReplyDeletePat, you and Frank sound like my parents, with the genders reversed. My mom was a social butterfly, and my dad would go to mass once a week and not talk to anyone. :-) Moving to the continuing care apartment this past fall has given him the perfect amount of socializing: he gets weekly phone calls from his kids, and everyday one of the nice staff members would deliver meals to his apartment.
DeleteNow they've opened up, and he was grumbling that the director expects him to talk to people in the dining room!
Congratulations to the Maine Millenial. My husband and I haven't missed a Zoom seervice for 14 months-a first, so I completrly understand the convenience of the online services. Just finished my 2 week waitng period and I am very trepidatious. With Mask wearing being elimnated in so may places, I don't know how comfortable I wouold feel going to the store and my walking shoes desparately need replacement. Thank you for making me feel I am not the only one with adjustment issue
ReplyDeleteWe've been told to wear a mask every time we're outside the house for over a year now - I think it would be odd if we weren't feeling trepidation!
DeleteHahaha! Julia, this is a perfect post for now. Three weeks ago I had my first company in well over a year. My sister-in-law, her husband, their two dogs, my daughter, her husband, my granddaughter, and one of their dogs. The amount of work I had to do before they came was daunting when I first viewed it. And, the back screened-in porch was quite the project to get done. I'm talking deep cleaning an painting the porch floor. Luckily, I had help from husband on this project, as he painted. I may not be the best of housekeepers anymore, but the pandemic isolation had let lazy become a normal state of mind. But, it was all worth it, because we had a wonderful time.
ReplyDeleteThen, my daughter and granddaughter came over for an early Mother's Day Lunch, followed by my son and his girlfriend arriving on Mother's Day night for a couple days. I fixed my chocolate cherry cake three times in two weeks, and I hadn't been baking since the beginning of the shut-down. And, there was some other cooking, too, of course. So, it was like going from 0 to 60 in a car, from no one setting foot in the house for fourteen months to a revolving door of company. Again, the work was so worth the happiness to have family together after so long.
Your #1 and #5 got addressed for me this past Saturday, Julia. Oh, the dearth of exercise over the last year was shameful, but then it usually is, and socializing, even with family, was not always an instant yes. But, granddaughter Izzy called on Saturday and asked if Papaw and I wanted to meet her and her mother, our daughter, at the zoo. You bet we did! We hadn't done anything together like that in so long--otherwise, Papaw and I might have opted out to have an easier Saturday afternoon. But, off we gleefully went, with the amnesia of the terrain of said zoo. The hills weren't alive with the sound of music that day. They were alive with the sound of me grunting and wheezing as I climbed up them. There very well might be a video online of old geezers (Philip and me) struggling up hills at the Mesker Park Zoo. Out of shape doesn't quite cover what I am.
Clothing is a subject I really don't like to think about. I have a doctor's appointment next Monday, and I have no idea what I'll wear. Maybe he'll understand a skin-tight top or pants. At least my shoes still fit.
Kathy, I can appreciate where you're coming from. My grandmother alarm clock has gone off, and if I had grandkids, I would be there "toot sweet," as my own Pawpaw used to say.
DeleteI have been "attending" my aerobics class via Zoom for 18 months every Monday and Wednesday at 9:00AM. I log in to Zoom at 8:58. While I am looking forward to getting back to in person class I'll need to reset my schedule so I can leave the house by 8:30 in order to arrive for class by 8:55 which seems like a BIG shift at the moment.
ReplyDeleteIt is a big shift, Emily! Because of course you also have to brush your teeth, put on deodorant, etc - stuff you don't really need when you're virtual!
DeleteIt's going to take me weeks to get my house visitor-worthy again. Also, if you do come up with great excuses not to go, be sure and share them because I'll use them all. And Julia, there's nothing wrong with pillowy. In fact, it's as comfortable as it sounds. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
ReplyDeleteBefore Covid, I did Comcast's OnDemand free exercises. After doing Grokker's free previews, I subscribed as they have exercises for the neck and shoulders and for seniors. It will be nice to wear my nicer slacks and tops when I go out. Cleaning I don't do as much as I should. I do a lot of wiping and picking things up. We went back to church last year so have been doing that a while. Today I had lunch with my cousins and hope to have more lunches with friends. I got invited to a graduation to be held at our church. It does feel strange to go out most days. Stay safe and well.
ReplyDeleteShalom Friends.
ReplyDeleteTo the Millennial, Kol Ha Kavod. Three years is a big deal.
I belong to the YMCA here in town. It’s a pretty big institution. With the schools closed much of the last year, the Y made the extra effort to be a provider of childcare for parents, who couldn’t do everything. I don’t’ use my membership enough. The last time that I checked in, it was to use the bathroom. Many of the public buildings with lavatories are no longer really public. Within a few days, I received a survey to fill out asking about my recent visit.
I am up about 5 pounds. I don’t think the pandemic is the problem. More so, is my recent love affair with ice cream. The other day, instead of getting on the scale, I took a good look in the mirror. I definitely carry the “paunch of affluence”.
I am a clutter bug and somewhat of a slob. I and my roommate don’t do a lot of entertaining. I’ve made countless resolutions with limited success. I had my desk and living room table uncluttered completely a little more than a week ago. As of this morning, the clutter has returned with a vengeance.
I’ve been using Facebook Live for church. We are an affluent congregation, so we have a lot of high-tech musical equipment and video gear. Meeting in person, had restarted last summer with social distancing and attendance limits. I chose to stay home because I was in a higher risk group. Being vaccinated now, I have no excuse. On a sunny day, it takes me an hour and ten minutes to walk to church. I can usually find a ride home.
Besides a part-time job, my social live has been limited to Zoom and other online activities. There’s an underground coffee house where there is live Christian music, with no cover charge. It’s been all online only, since the beginning of the pandemic. The restaurants that survived the virus are started to open for more than just takeout. The library has been open much of the last year, but I have not been there. I probably will check them out soon. I have a friend who is blind. Once a week now, I help him out with stuff that he just cannot do unassisted. The weather is so beautiful outside, sunny but not yet hot, that I feel like anything is possible.