JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Yesterday on the Twitter machine, DiGiorno's Pizza innocently put up a tweet (or deliberately stirred the pot, depending on how savvy you think their social media guys are) asking the world to "Give us a new slogan." Some of the answers were inspired:
I encourage you all to search for the company's name take a look at the creative genius on display, including several with terms we've decided not to publish here on Jungle Reds.
It got me thinking, as these things do, about the ways we might update other famous slogans to make them more realistic.
Nike: Just get up, put on your exercise clothes, let the dog out, feed the dog and cats, answer a few emails and then Do It.
Maxwell House: If you're really desperate, you can shovel it in by the spoonful.
Mastercard: There are some things money can't buy. Unless you're Jeff Bezos.
Hallmark: When you care enough, but also want to avoid a three-hour phone call.
State Farm: Like a good neighbor, State Farm is returning the bill that got into their mailbox accidentally and casually joking, "Hey, Jerry, that lawn's getting wilder than my hair in 1968!"
United Airlines: Fly the Friendly Skies. Or make the thirteen hour drive to Poughkeepsie. It's your choice, really.
Las Vegas: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for the fifty-nine photos Jerry insists on putting up on "The Facebook."
Okay, dear readers, what do you think? And tell me what corporate slogans you think need updating for today's world!
I’m chuckling over some of these . . . I’m not certain how I’d change any of the really well-known slogans, but now I’m just a bit nostalgic for some of the ones we’ll probably never see again . . . .
ReplyDeleteReach out and touch someone [Bell Telephone] seems to have morphed into something along the lines of “Networking the way it should be” . . . I suppose that’s in keeping with everyone carrying their own phone around, but somehow it doesn’t quite capture the feeling of the original.
Let your fingers do the walking [Yellow Pages] . . . are there even any yellow pages any longer?
Joan, thinking there may still be print Yellow Pages, but only on request. Wonder what folks use to boost kids up to table height for big family dinners?
DeleteElisabeth, my stand in for the Yellow Pages is a stack of SAT and ACT prep books my kids collected in their last years of high school. There's more paper there than in all five NYC boroughs' phone books!
DeleteWOW! :-)
DeleteFun!
ReplyDelete"Love - it's a Subaru - unless you can't afford one or you'd really rather drive a honking monster Ford pickup."
One of my favorite North Shore gas companies is Haffner's. "It kicks!" with a logo of a donkey's back legs in the air kicking the name. Not sure how that could be updated, though. I just like saying it.
LOL, Edith!
DeleteSince the Iphone came out...my slogan has been "There's a nap for that."
ReplyDeleteThat is perfect!
DeleteDavid, LOL!
DeleteEvery business updating their "We Care about the health and safety of our staff and customers" AFTER Covid restrictions are lifted: WE CARE ABOUT THE HEALTH AND SAFETY OF OUR STAFF AND CUSTOMERS...for only as long as we are legally obligated to."
ReplyDeleteBut if that's too on the nose how about Amazon and their galactically bad customer service department adopting the early days motto of thrash band Overkill, "We Don't Care What You Say...F**K YOU!"
DeleteHave you been following the strike at the Frito-Lay plant in Kansas, where workers were pulling 85-hour weeks, and one employee was said to have collapsed and died on the line? Management reportedly told the other workers to move the body to a store room and get somebody else for that spot because, apparently, Americans need their salty snacks. Their slogan could be Workers Down, but Profits are Up!
DeleteGigi, laughing, but embarrassed!
DeleteAll of these are WAY too on the nose - and it makes me glad we only do local New England potato chips, Gigi!
DeleteThis is a great way to spend Friday. Western Airlines - 'Seating six feat apart, everyone wearing masks, no food or alcohol, THE ONLY WAY TO FLY.'
ReplyDeleteHere's another: GE We bring good things to life (We fired Dr. Frankenstein.)
DeleteCoralee, I see a future for you in advertising... ;-)
DeleteOy, I got nothing here. Will check back later.
ReplyDelete(Good one, Julia!)
Come back after coffee, Judy!
Deletethose are good ones.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dru!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFly the friendly skies, UNITED! And welcome to our Mile High Club.
ReplyDeleteCan’t stop laughing! Thanks, Ann.
DeleteLOL! I always thought people who liked the idea of the Mile High Club had never actually been in an airplane bathroom.
DeleteJulia, I’ve heard really adventurous Mile-Highers never leave their seats when taking the Red Eye. LOL back!
DeleteSuburu: love is now bigger than ever...but is it electric?
ReplyDeleteMargaret: Love IS electric!
DeleteI wonder how much Subaru will pay us for this brilliant new slogan.
And what's mine above, chopped liver? ;^)
DeleteHonda: First man, then machine. It must be love. Technology you can enjoy. But only if you can afford it.
ReplyDeleteWhat's with the love? A new line of romance novels about cars?
Margaret, I suspect someone finally alerted Honda to the fact that women make more car-buying decisions than men do. I recall all the ads from my youth - it was all cars named after super-studly things (Ram, Colt, Gladiator, Stealth...)
DeleteHere’s some from the olden days in England - “one degree under? Drink Horlicks”.
ReplyDelete“My goodness, my Guinness”, plastered on the side of a building over an animal or bird. Toucans were a popular choice.
A shirt ad seen all over the underground. Model wearing a mans shirt, naught more. “Looks even better on a man”.
I have tried to train myself not to click on anything other than the next link and ignore the ads that wave beguilingly from my phone and other toys. It’s hard.
Celia, I thought Horlicks was sort of like Ovaltine here in the US, but it sounds more like a hangover cure in the ad!
DeleteI don't have much brainpower for slogans this morning, but this reminds me of a game I made up years ago during my morning commute. I was stuck in traffic next to an ancient (but still running!) Honda with doors and fenders of many colors, some of which were hanging on by duct tape alone. I thought, "It's a Honda Crapheap!" And then I started making up accurate names for the cars around me. The only rule was that the name could not exceed the commercially acceptable 3-syllable max. I cheerfully cop to driving a Ford Menopause--largely because I can't afford a Chevrolet Baldspot. My sister drives a Subaru Smug.
ReplyDeleteI love these. Along those lines, we are a two Toyota Pius family!
DeletePerfect, Edith!
DeleteThose are both hilarious! Smug! Haaaa. How about a Volkswagen Babbitt?
DeleteMy son's first vehicle was a GMC I'maMAN
DeleteEdith, Prius or Pious? or both? I've been serially monogamous with my two Priuses, still missing Fran, but learning to manage the larger Rosy.
DeleteApple Store slogan should be "we no longer support that . . . "
Perfect for the Apple Store, Mary!
DeleteI like the Babbit, Hank, and I think the first vehicle of nearly any young man in west Texas is the Ford F-all-y'all
DeleteI’m thinking about DiGiornos. Why not just say something like: “Yeah. We ARE the cheesiest.”
ReplyDeleteThey should do an ad featuring people like me who live in rural areas. "We can't get delivery, so we get DiGiornos." (We do!)
DeleteJulia: You're a genius at this!
DeleteJulia: great (and accurate) motto that our rural family has also lived by.
DeleteJulia, I used to compare rural pizza delivery to drug deals. You meet up in a dark truckstop parking lot, swap cash for goods . . .
DeleteThere's a pizza place down the block where there's NEVER anyone. It's ALWAYS open. We call it "Drug Front Pizza."
DeleteOh, yes, Julia. Hallmark should hire you and your slogan skills. So much better to send a card, even if it takes 3 hours to pick it out, write a brief note, find a stamp, and get in the mail box, than to spend those hours stuck on the phone. Thanks for the Friday smiles.
ReplyDeleteI speak from experience, Elisabeth...
DeleteYears ago my son owned a very small Nissan. It was definitely not a Maxima but he called it his Mininma!
ReplyDeleteLOL!
DeleteThat has been one of my questions for years… If there’s a Maxima, shouldn’t there be a minima ? I have thought about that way too much over the years. And now I know it’s true.
DeleteMaxwell House "Good to the drip" instead of drop. It looks like a drip of water on that label not a drop of coffee.
ReplyDeletePoor Maxwell House. I wonder if anyone uses them at home any more. Everyone I know buys those little bags of just-ground beans (if they don't buy beans and grind them at home!
DeleteWow. Some good ones here! So clever...
ReplyDeleteMaxwell House during current prairie drought conditions: Good to the last drop...put our coffee with your water while you still have some
Amanda, that's a winner!
DeleteA calorie is a terrible thing to waste...
ReplyDelete(I know, not an *advertising* slogan in the first place...)
Ch-ch-ch-ching
I've fallen and I can't remember where I left my cell phone
Hallie, these are just my real life. Yesterday I was wandering around the downstairs saying, "Where's my phone?" to the dog. (The dog didn't know.)
DeleteThe only slogans I remember are: "Good to the last drop" for a coffee company
ReplyDelete"Let's give it to Mikey" for a cereal company
"Where's the beef" for a burger chain
Trying to remember the words for a Taco company with a picture of a little chichuana dog
Diana
These are hysterical!
ReplyDeleteI. AM. DYING. LOLs. Sorry to be late to the party! I was doing the dreaded yard work all day, which naturally made me think of the John Deere ad: "Nothing runs like a Deere" - Yeah, except for the Hooligans when I want them to help with the yard work!
ReplyDeleteThese are all hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteHow about, "Beef. It's what's for dinner. But not at the hospital where you're getting stents put in to unclog your arteries!"
ReplyDelete