JENN McKINLAY: Last week I was doing a Zoom chat with the chick lit book club. Invariably, the question of what my writing life looks like came up and when I mentioned I had three cozy mysteries, one women’s fiction, and two novellas to write in 2022, one of the attendees said, “Well, that seems like a lot. How do you get it all done and what do you do for self-care?”
Insert sound of a record scratch here while I blinked stupidly at the screen. I think I gave a very “Um…uh…I…well…” sort of non-answer. Honestly, no one has ever asked me about self-care before, and I was completely unprepared. Frankly, I don’t even know what self care is. I’m a caffeine, carb and sugar loaded workaholic. I think more work is my version self-care, which is just sooooo wrong, and I think it’s time to change that so I’m asking you, my dear Reds, what do you do to take care of yourself? Asking for a friend – i.e. me – because I have no idea how to even begin.
Currently Jenn's idea of self care:
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| Showstopper Milkshake at the Hotel Valley Ho in Scottsdale -- yes, that's a whole slice of cake and a cookie on top of a milkshake. |
LUCY BURDETTE: John’s website, Top Retirements, recently ran an article about Sanjay Gupta’s book on keeping your mind sharp. Guess what was #1 on the list? Yup, exercise. Like it or not. When the pandemic first struck, I started doing yoga most days. Now I have two regular sessions on Zoom with teachers I love. I walk 2 miles or more most days, and swim one day when we’re in Florida. Oh, and one session with weights and a trainer per week. That definitely helps! But also eating–I try for lots of vegetables, and everything else in moderation.
Staying connected helps too. That’s where my Jungle Red family shines!
RHYS BOWEN: My number one in self care is staying connected, Jenn. Before Covid struck I would have lunch with friends at least once a week. Since Covid it’s been lots of Zoom with family and most recently everyone together in person again. And daily contact with the Reds and online friends is important. I also exercise. We walk every afternoon. I swim/ deep water exercise most days.
Also the small things : soaking in a hot bath, laughing at an old TV comedy, just taking time to sit outdoors and appreciate nature, eating a favorite meal.
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| A good long hot soak seems to be a fave among the Reds. |
HALLIE EPHRON: Jenn, isn’t it possible that work IS your version of self-care? Or at least part of it? I know for me, sorting and organizing is extremely calming and satisfying. AKA a form of self care? Yes, walking but it’s sleeting here right now and that ain’t gonna happen. So I’ll get on the exercise bike which you canNOT convince me is a form of self care. It’s a chore.
YES YES YES to talking on the phone to my favorite people, something which a decade ago I would have told you I hated. Soaking in a hot bath. Sipping a hot cup of tea.
So is “self care” something that’s “good for you” or something that “makes you feel good”?
Jenn: Good question, Hallie! I have no idea, but I think it's supposed to be both. Hence the workaholic thing I've got going is no bueno.
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Self-care. Hmmm. AH, I walk on the treadmill an hour a day, which also lets me read a book at the same time, and I really look forward to that! (Hallie, could you listen to an audio book while you ride? That could really make a difference.) I am really careful about healthy eating, and have learned that half a cookie from time to time, or one bite of something delicious will be okay. I’m a pretty solitary person, anyay, so I am so happy to get to be with my manuscript and enjoy the quiet–I spent the last 40 years in a very loud news environment, so peace is lovely to me.
But I am on the same page (!) as you Jenn, I love working-writing, and (usually) it doesn't seem like work, and aren’t we lucky about that? And I would not be “happy” if I stopped that.
So, yeah, is that bad? People always say–you should relax. And I think, hmm, I AM relaxed. I am just working.
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Yeah, I need to be less about the self-care and more of a workaholic (or at least a work-a-like-it.) Like everyone else, exercise. I haven’t gone back to the Y, but with three dogs in the house, I walk a mile every day will I, nil I. Hallie, I listen to podcasts though my Bluetooth earbud, and it makes the time fly, even when I’m untangling three leashes.
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| Julia at peak self care |
I practice a lot of hygge as well, which might not be as applicable to Jenn in Arizona. Sitting with a book in front of a roaring fire, wearing fuzzy socks and wooly wraps, drinking hot cocoa - these things just relax me.
Oh, and best self care? Taking my bra off at the end of the day. Woosh!
DEBORAH CROMBIE: You can't beat that for self care, Julia!
I realize that I am also happiest when I'm working, so maybe I should do more of that, not less. But my biggest self-care thing since the beginning of the pandemic is my nightly bath. The only time I've missed my pre-bedtime ritual was during last winter's Snowmageddon, when we had no power! Twenty or thirty minutes soaking in my little clawfoot tub while listening to an audio book and I feel all is right with the world again, no matter what's happened during the day.
What about you, Readers? What do you do for self care?
I probably don’t do too many of the things everyone says you ought to do, but I do try to exercise every day; I walk, I try to eat healthy . . . I try to pay attention to all those things everyone says you need to do to take care of yourself. And, I agree . . . they are important.
ReplyDeleteBut the things that matter the most to me are the things that make me feel content, happy, and satisfied. I read. I talk to the girls and the grandbabies. I check in here to see what’s happening in the Jungle Red world. I bake. I cook. Add a little music and it’s a very good day . . . .
This sounds pretty much like my routine as well. Add getting a good night's sleep.
DeleteThat sounds lovely, Joan. I only sleep about six hours. I try to sleep longer but at the six hour mark my eyes pop open and I have to jump out of bed because the coffee beckons!
DeleteJenn, I would say self-care is anything that makes you feel relaxed, happy and content. For me, reading is definitely self-care. Also just taking a little quiet time for myself which is much needed for an introvert. You seem to enjoy gardening. Digging in the dirt and playing with flowers, veggies, etc. is very therapeutic. Maybe meditation (that might be tricky for someone whose imagination bubbles over all the time as I think yours must do) or a massage?
ReplyDeleteMeditation. Learn how. It's on my new year's resolution list. Again.
DeleteI do love my garden and my bird feeder is ever entertaining. I also love knitting - it clears my mind. I used to meditate when the Hooligans were at peak hooligan and I had to breathe before calming telling them to go get the sidewalk chalk they just threw into the neighbor's newly remodeled pool - LOL - but I've found it more and more difficult to quiet my brain.
DeleteHallie, maybe we can take an online meditation class together?
I'm in!
DeleteI'm with you, Jenn. I'm entering the new year burned out with too much in my life and needing to find some outlets to help me deal with everything. I need to find a way to get some more down time. We're talking real downtime, not reading (even with how much I enjoyed it) since that's a second job hobby and not just a hobby (if that makes any sense). If I could find a way to have my blog go back to something that gets updated when I get around to it and not something I feel the need to publish every day, I think that would be a great start. But then I see all these arcs of books I want to read....
ReplyDeleteSo interesting, Mark. One of the things we learned with the JUngle Red blog early on is that (sadly?) it needs to be updated daily to get a strong following. Which gets back to what's important - the writing it down or getting it read.
DeleteI feel ya, dude. I just finished judging a writing contest that dominated the last three months of my life. Last night wss the first time I picked up a book for fun in WEEK. It was glorious.
DeleteHallie, I know that daily is best. But I'm the only one writing stuff for my blog. It gets very tiring to constantly be coming up with new content.
DeleteNaps. Naps are our friend. It clears your mind when it is cluttered and when you wake from nap, you feel much better.
ReplyDeleteOh, I am a champion power napper! Give me twenty minutes with my head down and I wake up renewed and ready for more coffee! LOL.
DeleteJENN: I totally get the workaholic way of dealing with grief. I certainly did it when my mom died suddenly in 2003. Working 60-70 hours/week and having a ton of deadlines and tangible products to complete on multiple deadlines kept me from focusing on the personal issues.
ReplyDeleteNow, I agree with several others that EXERCISE is my key form of self-care. I totally changed from someone who spend most of the (work)day seated on a bus-subway-bus, office desk chair and couch at home to someone who MOVED a lot. Hence, my 2022 word is MOVE.
My daily goal is to walk a minimum of 5-6 miles/8-10 km. But I am human...some days I don't even walk 0.5 mile/0.8 km, and other days I walk 10-12 miles/16-20 km. I prefer to walk outdoors but I
can also exercise indoors. All this walking does have the added benefit of burning calories which means I can indulge in my other main form of SELF-CARE which is EATING and COOKING. I am an eclectic eater. Food allergies have dampened some of my enthusiasm to eat without fear/worry but I still get great joy and satisfaction from a well-prepared meal. Experimenting with my edible balcony garden during the past 2 years has also been both challenging and fun.
And during the pandemic, I also learned how important is was to stay connected. I have lived alone since the age of 19 and like it. I rarely felt lonely. But the total isolation caused by me being sick with COVID and the subsequent provincial lockdowns/restrictions during the past 20 months meant that I got that social connection here at JRW most mornings, and by attending (too) many Zoom/FB and virtual events.
READING used to be my main salvation/self-care. Last year was the exception, and not being able to read for long periods of time really stressed me out. So I switched to the 3 forms of self-care listed above instead. I hope that my reading mojo will come back in 2022 since the ARCs, library books and TBR mountain are calling...
Grace, I think I got my reading mojo back. We'll see how it goes by end of January.
DeleteDRU: That's great news! My reading mojo still comes and goes despite getting my new prescription reading glasses in mid-December.
DeleteGrace and Dru, cheers to getting your reading mojo back!
DeleteI know a lot of people who are readers suddenly found themselves off the reader wagon during the pandemic. Reading has always been an escape for me and even I struggled until I found Jodie Taylor's Chronicles of St Mary's, which got me through the dark days, thankfully.
DeleteYour books, Jenn, got me through the dark days.
DeleteHmmm. I guess these are what passes for self-care for me these days: After the RemodelFromHell, which overlapped on the first year of Covid, I now tell the world in general to f--- off. There is great satisfaction in that.
ReplyDeleteThey've closed our building's exercise room because of Covid, so my best exercise is pushing a small cart (for balance) up and down all the aisles of the supermarket. And I have taken to buying prepared fruits and vegetables because I am more likely to eat them if I don't have to wash them and cut them up.
And I've been keeping an eye out for a new (used) dog, the most recent dog having died at the beginning of 2020. I'm pretty sure the right one is out there.
Love the idea of a used dog, Ellen. I hope you find just the right one.
DeleteOh good luck with new dog and keep us posted!!
DeleteWe're fostering a pit bull/lab mix we've named Ellie Ro (short for Eleanor Roosevelt since H2 found her running down Roosevelt St) and she'll run you right into the ground - play, play, play! - if you want. Don't panic - I'm kidding. I think we're going to be her forever home, but I do think a dog is an excellent form of self care. No one loves me as much as my schnauzer - no one.
DeleteI love my work and agree it's a kind of self care, which is good, because I do a lot of it. I also walk at least 10k steps a day, and sit on the deck reading when weather permits. And now I have a new bit to add in: prompted by Karen, I have so far danced a bit every day. Last night I put on Afro-Cuban music while I made curried chicken soup for dinner and danced as I cooked. Self care! Plus, as Dru does, naps.
ReplyDeleteJenn, a few years ago during a gentle senior yoga class (in-person!), our lovely instructor showed us a few things we could do later during our hour of self care. Many of us looked at each other, bewildered. "This IS my hour of self care!" I said, to much agreement. Like I'm supposed to do ANOTHER one? Now, alas, I don't even make time for any yoga, gentle or otherwise.
I think some people have our work/self-care balance reversed. As in 12 hours of self care and 1 hour of work. LOL! I'd go mad.
DeleteSelf-care? Oh, I've heard of it. Like Jenn, I think work is my form of self-care. After so many years at a day job that left me little time for creative outlets, I'm loving being able to devote myself to writing full time. Now I need to devote myself to learning focus and letting go of all those delightful shiny things that distract me :).
ReplyDeleteI do make it a point to exercise daily, and when I am able and the weather is willing, I head out for hikes at least three days a week.
Oh, I love hiking. I have committed to hiking every Sunday - so that's a start, yes?
DeleteAbsolutely!
DeleteOboy, Jenn, this is something on my mind, too. In fact I woke up this morning from a weird dream a little panicked that I have not seen or spoken with any of my local friends in two weeks. To be fair, we've been with family for much of that time, but still. Over the last four--wait, FIVE--years I've been so focused on planning for and building our new home, then on helping my mom (who will be 92 in a few days), and then Covid hit. It feels as if I've been stuck in a tunnel. Weird little health issues have not helped with the exercise part, either.
ReplyDeleteOn the 18th we attended a fabulous party (potential super spread we feared did not happen, thank heavens), and I rediscovered my love of dancing, as Edith referred to. Over Christmas my daughters and I had a dance party and the middle one made me promise to dance on my own, too. I've found some really fun dance videos online, and this is my favorite, so far:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UqOkg4NBd4 The instructor is East Indian and the music is Bollywood, and it's not only fun but a good workout. And the moves are not difficult to follow, unlike some. But I also danced to Edith's Afro-Cuban last night! Impossible not to move to that music.
The dance videos are reminiscent of the old Jazzercise classes, by the way. Surely I'm not the only one who had a Jane Fonda LP! Dust off the legwarmers, Jenn!
Also, nightly baths, lavender tea, dark chocolate with my morning coffee, and checking out the sunset as often as possible. A glass of wine before dinner with my hubs, and lots of reading, snuggled up by the fire.
It's so funny that several of you have mentioned dancing. I had to teach myself to shuffle dance for my next romcom - and, yes, it was quite the workout - but thankfully Instagrammers all over the tutorials. It does lift the spirits and there is a sense of accomplishment, too. Also, I love a good sunset. Excellent reminder.
DeleteI feel like I can't even participate in this discussion my life is so different now. I went from a person who thrived on all types of exercise, rowing, swimming, dance, karate, hiking, horseback riding, to a person who sits way too much. The sedentary life is catching up to me and I am in physical therapy because some parts don't move correctly any more. I must push myself to do the daily exercises to get my movement back. Alas.
ReplyDeleteI am reading constantly, and listening to Audio books when in motion. But, I am not who I was and I puzzle over the person I've become.
The one thing that I haven't given up is my nightly application of delectable face cream/serum. That definitely qualifies as self care. Otherwise, I wonder where my MOJO went.
It is weird when you morph into a completely different person - I get it. I'm glad you're working your way back to some activity, Judy. You'll get there, maybe not exactly as you once were, but a new variation of you. Also, I have a vitamin C serum that I love, so thumbs up on that!
DeleteBTW, the sun hasn't shined here in one whole week. That could be the reason that my entry above sounds like it was written from a prison cell. Sun is due back tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteOh, I get it. Living in AZ, I really feel the lack of sun when it leaves us for nay length of time. *sigh*
DeleteJudy,
DeleteThe National Weather Service reports that it’s sunny down here in Milford. It’s not. I’m expecting to see snow any minute. I can’t wait for the sun to return!
How is Irwin?
DebRo
He's so much better, Deb. I'm sure you've read my testimony here that he began to improve exactly at the time that all my JRW friends started to say that we were in your prayers. Same minute! Many blessings!
DeleteHugs, Judy!
DeleteJudy, I’m glad Irwin continues to do well!
DeleteDebRo
Walk the dogs and spend thirty minutes on the rowing machine. As the afternoon light fades, I sit in a quiet corner and drink hot cocoa and think a thought, plot a point, find the way forward for the next day.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. Maybe it's all about finding the right time of day for these things. Hmm.
DeleteJenn, I will NOT tell you that exercise is the best way to self-care, although I'm sure it is good for you. No, I think the best self-care is being your own best friend and doing things that make you happy, whatever that may be. So, cake for breakfast? Sure. You probably make up for it later. Taking a nice walk could be good, but that is up to you. And by walk, I don't mean some strenuous exercise-type walk, either. And walking with a friend and/or lover might be even better.
ReplyDeleteBut most important, and I think you already do this, probably a lot is laugh. Yep, it is the best medicine, so laugh as much as you can; there are so many things going on nowadays that about the only thing you can do is laugh.
Deborah, I must ask about your nightly bath. It sounds heavenly, but how do you keep your skin from drying out? I haven't had a bath in years because it always made my skin so dry. Do you slather on some nice lotion afterwards? Or maybe you are just lucky and young enough that your skin doesn't dry out? Or maybe it's your climate; here in the northeast, the air is so dry inside and out that it is hard to keep skin from drying. In the shower I use the most moisturizing stuff I can find, but even then I have to be careful.
I think you're right, Judi. Laughter is the reason I get up in the morning, for sure. If I thought a day would pass without some laughs, I wouldn't even get out of bed. Th
DeleteJudi, in the winter I'll use a humectant spray afterwards if my skin feels dry. NuSkin makes an inexpensive one and it's available from Amazon. Also I use very gentle Pears soap and not much of it, lol. And a tiny bit of a Lush bubble bar. I hope you find something that works for you!
DeleteMmm, naps. Dru, I like your thoughts there.
ReplyDeleteSelf-care? Reading, watching mindless TV. I had a rough Christmas season for a variety of reasons, so I really need to come up with something before I crack.
Liz, so understand about the holidays being rough. Ideas people. We need ideas to pull one another out of these funks. Anyone?
DeleteSorry to hear that, Liz - what a lousy time to be feeling down in the dumps. All I can do is commiserate.
DeleteThe holidays sure shine a spotlight on the hard days. I'm sorry, Liz. Maybe axe throwing? I drove by a place yesterday that had a big sign advertising axe throwing and I thought, well, that's a place to keep in mind when all else has failed and I'm feeling stabby.
DeleteHuh, axe throwing sounds like a great stress reliever. We have a few of them here in Ottawa but of course they are CLOSED because of new Omicron restrictions for any indoor recreational activities!
DeleteI've done axe throwing. It's quite fun. :)
DeleteThere's a pond in my town with a lovely path all the way 'round it. Two times around is the perfect walk to clear the cobwebs and improve overall vigor, stopping to take in the view. Mud shoes recommended right now.
ReplyDeleteAh, mud shoes, I remember those from my New England days. I have a pond down the street, a desert oasis, and it is a perfect walk with loads of egrets and herons and random ducks. I used to take the dogs there every day but I won't be back until Otto has fully rehabbed from his recent surgery. A good reminder. Thanks, Hallie.
DeleteJenn, how is you dog doing? Otto, right? Hope he is recovering and that his treatment was successful. Give us an update.
ReplyDeleteHe's still recovering. He's not allowed to walk more than the length of the street until his wound heels. His foot is so weird looking minus a toe. But he's a schnauzer so he refuses to go home when he should and I'm quite certain the entire neighborhood is watching and laughing when I am forced to pick him up and carry him home. Everyone should be as determined as Otto. No word yet on whether his cancer has spread. We're hoping for the best!
DeleteThese have been fascinating! I walk for self care (14,000 steps a day is my goal and I rarely miss it.) Early last year I found that the US Conference of Catholic Bishops website has a daily podcast of the scripture readings of the day, plus a reflection video where someone talks based on those readings. I've been listening to those while I get ready each morning, and I feel like that amounts to some self care for me.
ReplyDeleteI am so envious about the daily bath! Our master bath has only a shower, and once my son got old enough to make me uncomfortable going into his bathroom and using the tub -- at least 15 years ago, I guess -- I have never had a bath. He lived away from us for several years, then was home during covid, and has just moved out again, but somehow I never got back to feeling comfortable about going into the other bathroom for a soaking bath. That sounds so luxurious!
We have three claw foot tubs in our house, the Goldilocks tubs! Large, medium, and small. I use the smallest in the tiny bathroom off my office. It is mine and mine alone, and very cosy.
Delete14K steps is amazing!!! I'm happy to get closet o 10K/day
DeleteSpeaking of pets, they are high on my list of self-care. Our youngest female cat, Miss Kathy, has never been a lap cat. Near you, next to you, but don't pick her up and don't try to sit her down in your lap. She's five or six years old, so long-established habits. For two evenings in a row, she's come out of her preferred hideaway for naps and climbed into my lap and curled up. You can bet I gave her lots of time and attention. And it made us both feel good. Small bursts of love and fun during the day--daily self-care to stop and watch their antics, laugh, snuggle. We wouldn't have made it this far through everything going on without them.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what we'd have done this last two years without our dogs and cats.
DeleteOh, yes, I'd be lost without our menagerie.
DeleteExercise has been my saving grace during my husband's illness and definitely during the pandemic. I credit it with keeping me healthy (I'm getting over my first laryngitis/cold in about 5 YEARS right now!). I was exercising to DVDs but this year I found Ayhan Sulu--if he can't get you motivated, no one can. I mean, he is gorgeous and he doesn't talk at all during the cardio (Zumba) exercise. Using the voice command, say Ayhan Sulu YouTube, and you will have your choice of exercise routines for free (you can also subscribe on his website, but I don't). My favorites are routines that feature salsa and Bollywood. I also walk every day if the weather will allow (strangely, even in CA, lately the weather did NOT allow). Usually I walk around my neighborhood (maybe a mile), and on Thursdays I do 3.25 miles with a walking group.
ReplyDeleteI am going to be easier on myself this year by giving up one of my two Toastmasters clubs. I love Toastmasters, but I was attending two clubs because I felt I would need a local club when my old Bay Area club started meeting in person again (I'm two hours away). But it looks like that club will remain virtual for the foreseeable future because at least 3 of us live far away now (including the president), and that club has been close to my heart for 11 years. I'm also continuing cross-stitch, which gives me a sense of artistic accomplishment that I can't get any other way (no artistic skills). And speaking of hygge, I recently made it my theme when I was the Toastmaster of the week.
I've made it a rule that after dinner, there is no work (such as cleaning or editing the Sisters in Crime NorCal newsletter), Evenings are devoted to reading on the sofa, sometimes under my luxurious throw blanket, or watching TV (did you know Queer Eye has a new season and Ghosts has a UK version on HBO Max?). I'm so happy I bought the Vahdam Advent calendar this year--each drawer has five tea bags, and all are lovely first thing in the morning or in the evening.
You seem to have perfected balance, my dear. I want to implement the no work after dinner rule, which means i need to focus more during the day. Goals!!!
DeleteAre you knitting, Jenn? I remember you saying you knit. It has taken me over a year to pick up my crochet hooks, but I finally did this last week. I may only be able to handle about 30 minutes right now, but it is a start.
ReplyDeleteI am still knitting. It does clear my head. I need to get better about making time for it. I also want to get back to crochet. I found a cute pattern for a bucket hat - maybe that can be my self care.
DeleteIf you're a writer, you need to do SOME form of writing or you're at a loss. When in Minnesota, I use a heat pack and eat my husband's cooking. Now in Florida, I sit in the sun, and eat my husband's cooking.
ReplyDeleteSo very true. If I don't write, I get all bottled up. LOL. I, too, eat my husband's cooking :)
DeleteWalking has always been a form of self-care for me. Unfortunately, my knee problems that came to a head a year ago and the subsequent knee replacement have made it difficult for me to do the kind of walking that refreshes me. I’m still working on it, though. I suppose that just going to PT, doing my PT homework, and working on increasing my steps are all forms of self-care. Getting together with friends is important to my self-care. We had to go so long without seeing each other in the early months of the pandemic. We’re trying to get together as much as possible right now because we’re afraid there could be shutdowns again soon because of the Omicron variant.
ReplyDeleteDebRo
It has become exhausting working around variants, hasn't it?
DeleteI think that 'self-care' is really just something we do for ourselves rather than for someone else. No matter what that is, if it feels good and brings us feelings of contentment and maybe even joy, go for it: Do more of it.
ReplyDeleteDoing something because it's good for me disqualifies it as self-care, in my books, so indoor exercise (like on a bike or rowing machine) doesn't make my list. I know I should do it, but that SHOULD takes the joy out of it for me. And I think that joy/contentment is inherent in self-care.
Question: Is self-care the same as old-fashioned down-time?
AMANDA: Good question. I personally equate down-time as being inactive, not doing much. So to me, it's not the same as self-care. I define self-care as actively doing activities to 1)relieve stress, 2)bring joy/happiness and 3)enhance my physical and mental health.
DeleteAmanda, I'd argue that if you've been all go-go-go, then downtime IS self care. Sometimes not having to do anything brings me great happiness!
DeleteThank you, GRACE and JULIA: excellent points for me to consider.
DeleteI think self care is doing something that fills the happiness/contentment bucket. I think work might be it for me, because I'm with you. Exercise does not feel like self care.
DeleteOnce when I grumbled to my wise chiropractor about the need for more maintenance to keep on keeping on, she said, "and isn't it nice that you have time now to take care of yourself," and put it in perspective. In my teaching years, I arranged to do as much as possible, for self and car and home, during the breaks from school. Now I set the schedule, spacing out the doctors' claims on my time, fitting in exercise (including cleaning chores I used to pay others to do), and having much time for pleasure reading, which is my favorite form of self-care.
ReplyDeleteMary my mother used to say the best part of retirement was that she finally got to read as much as she wanted!
DeleteI am finally prioritizing reading again - I had a reading obligation that got in the way over the past few months. Being able to read what i want has made me positively giddy.
DeleteI've always thought of "self-care" as more than just leisure activity. I think of "self-care" as opposed to "other care," when we do something outside our real or perceived obligations to others. Usually, "self-care" waits on those other obligations and thus, doesn't gets done. That is why the question arises, "what have you done for yourself lately?" If you love the way that you spend your days, then you probably don't need the reminder to take care of yourself. I find that caregivers (e.g., mothers, nurses - professional and otherwise, most administrative staff) forget that they are equally as valuable as those in their care and often need reminding. I am also amazed at how hard they are to convince.
ReplyDeleteI also think "self-care" isn't always fun. Sometimes, it is hard work. For me, last year the answer to "what do you need?" was counselling. Finding the right therapist made all the difference. That work is rewarding, but hard. In addition to all that work, I walk in the wilderness with my dog and breathe.
C.D., you're absolutely right. When I had kids and a husband at home, taking care of my needs went dead last on my to-do list. Which at one point led to a major depressive episode, when I did, finally, get a therapist and some medication. Treatment is self care!
DeleteVery wise. You can't take of others if you're falling apart.
DeleteWalking has always been a part of self care for me, not just because it's good for me (which it is) but because I love just being outside and taking stock of the world. But, alas, knee issues have almost completely curtailed that. Another issue to tackle in the new year...
ReplyDeleteIf I didn't have my dog, I likely wouldn't walk as much and that would be a shame. Being outside is a joy for me and we have so many lovely parks and trails in my neighborhood.
DeleteI agree with everyone who has said being in contact with friends and loved ones is a self-care action for me. I delight in calls, both video chat and regular chat with friends and with my daughter. And, being in contact extends to online, too, with the Jungle Reds, a chat group I'm in, and FB. Of course, sitting in my recliner and reading, with a cup of coffee next to me are self-care for me, too.
ReplyDeleteNow, this year I need to work on self-care in areas of exercise, walking, and healthy eating.
Being in contact is so important. One good thing about lockdown was realizing how much those friendships and relationships meant and re-investing in them.
ReplyDeleteRecent self-care was allowing myself not to listen to NPR every day during my commute. I love being well-informed, but some days I would arrive at work all knotted up already from the news. So sometimes it is OK to listen to the jazz station.
ReplyDeleteI have learned I sleep much better after I take A shower about an hour before sleep. I then settle in bed with a good book.
ReplyDeleteSelf-care is whatever makes you feel good, so sounds to me like you have it pretty well nailed most of the time. You knit, garden, read, bake, write, connect with friends and play with your menagerie. I think the key is just to make sure you do more than just write every day. Be gentle with yourself. My self-care is walking most mornings...with a friend, so it's social, not just exercise. The rest of the day is up for grabs, but at least I started out with "me time".
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