Optimistic or pessimistic, and can that be a self-fulfilling prophecy?

 HALLIE EPHRON: Last week the Boston Globe ran a piece about a Harvard study that came to the conclusion: "Women who are optimistic tend to live longer" (though as further reading indicates, researchers are "not exactly sure why.")

Here's the conclusion: "The 25 percent of women who were most optimistic were likely to have a 5.4 percent longer lifespan — or an average of about 4.4 years more — and a 10 percent greater likelihood of living beyond 90 than the 25 percent who were the least optimistic, the study said.

The difference between the lifespan of optimists and pessimists persists, the researchers say, across different ethnic and racial groups.

That got me thinking: am I an optimist or a pessimist?

When I was pregnant I imagined all kinds of terrible scenarios because, I told myself, "that way I can't be disappointed." When I've applied for something or been up for an award, I tell myself that I won't get it so I can say "Told you so" when I don't.

I’m sure traffic will be terrible so I get to the airport hours early. I’m always sure that if I have a medical procedure something will go wrong... I think a psychologist would call me “well defended.”

On the other hand, if something is hard to do and I want to do it, I assume I can if I keep at it.

Questions on a test like the Harvard questionnaire ask you to rate (agree to disagree) with statements like:

So, do you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist, and do you think it's possible that lifespan is nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy?

JENN McKINLAY: I’m annoyingly optimistic.

It’s not that I don’t worry or have stress or get angry. I do all of those things. It’s just that I can usually talk myself out of expecting negative outcomes fairly quickly. When the Hooligans were hitting the stressful teen years, we made a habit of giving our worries and anxieties over to the universe because worrying really doesn’t do anything to help the situation.

Now that they’re older, when I start to spin out, the Hooligans remind me to let go of the worry, stress, or anger - because why suffer twice? Always nice to have your own words thrown back at you :) LOL.

I love this quote:

RHYS BOWEN: I think I was an optimist before the last dreadful years. During Covid the underlying fear influenced my life. Let’s say I’m cautiously optimistic. That doesn’t mean I’m not a worrier— the mom who sat by the window until her kids got home, imagining cars going into ditches.

When it comes to awards I’m thrilled if I win but genuinely thrilled for others if I lose. And I have amazing parking karma. A spot always opens up for me. I think I believe the best of people, that love should conquer hate… at least most of the time. Don’t ask me this right after the Jan 6 hearings

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Hmm. This is very complicated. I think I am an “eventual optimist.” In uncertain times I usually expect the best.

>>Ah, I’d say, I expect the best will happen eventually. Covid, the stock market, ketchup on the walls. But in the instant moment I do expect the WORST possible thing, but followed soon after by okayness.

If something can go wrong for me, it will.
>>Well, I deal with that by worrying. Er, I mean, planning. For every possible eventuality. Then when none of that happens but something else does, I have band width. But in my heart of hearts, I think things will be fine. Eventually.

I don’t get upset too easily.
>>It totally depends. I can INSTANTLY be upset when it’s called for, but it’s not usually my go-to reaction. And if it is, I can get pretty un-upset very quickly.. Sometimes even say to myself–next week, I will have forgotten this. So why not forget it NOW? Sometimes I say–next week, I will laugh about this–so why not laugh sooner?

Overall, I expect more good things to happen to me than bad.

>>Yes. I will admit that, and then knock on wood and throw salt and deny it.

LUCY BURDETTE: I do love that poem Jenn!

I would agree with cautious optimism. I do get discouraged, especially over the past few years with Covid and politics running wild. Even during the pandemic though, I was able to convince myself that there were big brains working on the problem and somehow we’d get out of it. (Which turned out to be partially true–all those amazing vaccines in such a short time!)

With the crazy politics, I can’t help thinking that most people will see the reasonable path, the reasonable compromise. We’ll see.

Meanwhile, I’m *fairly* good at compartmentalizing the bad stuff so I don’t get frozen. 

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I fall into the ridiculously optimistic camp. I always tend to think the absolute best of people, and even when I've been disappointed, it hasn't carried on to other relationships. 

Which isn't to say I don't realistically see bad things coming. At the very beginning of February 2020, I had a family sit-down and said, "This is like the first scenes of every disaster movie I've every seen, right up to the 'ominous news from distant lands' playing on the TV in the background. We need to prepare now." But I didn't panic, and I didn't assume the world was going to end and we'd all be eaten by zombies. 

One of the benefits of optimism is when dire events happen - you lose your job, the car dies, there are unexpected medical issues - you're more likely to focus on what you can actively do to ameliorate the problem, and eventually overcome it. Pessimists are the folks who sit down and wait for the zombies to get them.

DEBORAH CROMBIE:  What a timely post, Hallie, when it seems like there's a new bombardment of bad news every day. I've always considered myself an optimist, but I have to admit that the last few years have tarnished that side of the coin a bit. In challenging times, being an optimist takes more conscious effort and I'm determined to make it. Get out that gratitude journal, seek out the good news! And when things feel really overwhelming, read a book!

HALLIE: So what about you? Optimist? Pessimist? Hedging your bets and compartmentalizing to get through the day?