I saw this on Facebook the other day, and I found myself thinking “Have I ever created a perfect sentence? One that makes the reader say “wow. How amazingly beautiful.” I’m afraid one didn’t come readily to mind. I am not a literary novelist. I do not toy with words as if I were trying to find the perfect spot to place a tile in a mosaic. I see myself as a story teller. I want to tell a good story. I want to take the reader to a time and place and make them feel they are there. Those are my objectives.
One of the nicest reviews I ever had said, “I wasn’t conscious of the words on the page.” Thank you. Exactly what I wanted to achieve. But along the way it would have been nice to have created a perfect sentence or two. I’m thinking of my books that got Edgar nominations. (3 so far but no wins!) Did the judges find a perfect sentence in one of them? Or did they simply say “She tells a good story?” I rather think it’s the latter. I do think I achieved a few good descriptions like this one from the beginning of The Venice Sketchbook. “The sky was a perfect pale blue and the sound of bells echoed over the whole city. Swallows darted and swooped across the sky like tiny Maltese crosses, while seagulls screeched, and below, in the courtyard, pigeons strutted. “A city of bells and birds,” I said with satisfaction.
I suppose I could have used more imagery and compared the blue sky to something, but I’m not good at that. I just want to paint a picture, simply.
I’m sure some of the other Reds have created a perfect sentence. Julia’s It was a hell of a night to throw away a baby is about as perfect an opening as you can find. I am satisfied with the opening of The Tuscan Child: “He knew he was going to die. That was quite obvious.”
But perhaps my favorites are the opening of the first Royal Spyness book. “There are two disadvantages to being a minor royal.” And Murphy’s Law: That mouth of yours will be getting you into big trouble one day.” Neither is poetic or evocative but both let you instantly know the character who is talking. Both came instantly to me in first chapters that I didn’t have to revise one word.
So I’ve come to accept that the works of Rhys Bowen will never be part of the high school English studies. Nobody will have to write an essay on The Use of Imagery in the Molly Murphy books, and no PHD student will mull over the themes in the Royal Spyness books. But if someone said, “I wasn’t conscious of the words on the page,” and my fans write to me the day after a book is published, demanding “when is the next book coming out?” And I reply telling them that a new book came out yesterday, and they reply “I’ve already read that one”. Then I feel good! That is enough.
But I came across this quote from Kristin Hannah and it did make me stare and savor it. Well done.
So Reds, do you have any perfect sentences to share? Have you ever written one or two that you feel especially proud of? Or do you have a writer whose prose makes you gasp with admiration? I think Pat Conroy did that for me.
If I had a choice between one perfect sentence and one book that told an amazing story, I would choose the book.
ReplyDeleteI don’t think I’ve ever come across a perfect sentence, but the Jungle Red ladies certainly write some amazing stories . . . and they make for perfect reading . . . .
Rhys: thank you, Joan
DeleteLike you, Rhys, I try to craft elegant sentences, but only in the service of the story. I know I've read sentences and books that stunned me (kind of like Julia's opening), but I can't remember them.
ReplyDeleteEditor Chris Roerden said one of my Agatha-nominated short story openings was perfect. "She hadn’t planned on killing Johnny Sorbetto that winter. He had promised her so much." (From "Just Desserts for Johnny.") I'm not sure it was perfect, but it worked!
Rhys: it grabs the reader and that’s what we strive to do
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ReplyDeleteRhys: thank you!
DeleteWhile reading a book, I’m going to read again a sentence or a paragraph that speaks to me particularly but I won’t remember it in the long term. It is often more related to emotions than to description. I often doesn’t remember the titles of books, I read so many.
ReplyDeleteWhat I don’t forget is the name of an author who comes to pick me up every time , who brings me into the world she created. You are one of those, Rhys, as are the other Reds and some of the commenters.
Danielle
Story over sentence any day. Give me great characters and stories. I read for enjoyment these days.
ReplyDeleteI was a literature major in college and am sure I have seen lots of sentences like the ones you describe. Sometimes I still find one that makes me put my finger in the book and ponder it. Occasionally, they are perfectly funny! So funny, that I have to share it!
Rhys, I am pretty sure that some of the sentences in the Her Royal Spyness series have given me moments like that. Positive. Next time I'll take note.
Judy, I need to take notes too. Thanks for the reminder. Diana
DeleteI do remember reading that memorable opening sentence from Julia's first book over 20 years ago. I'm want to immerse myself in the world the author creates. So many do it well, including all the Reds.
ReplyDeleteI had the perfect opening line for my new book: "Mizzle." I love the word and the paint color it evokes, a mix of mist and drizzle in a green landscape.
ReplyDeleteAlas, Farrow and Ball (and other paint companies) consider their color names proprietary. Still experimenting with other options but none are as much fun.
"Mizzle" is a word in the English language. I am puzzled how any company could trademark or copyright it (unless you are describing a paint color)? After all, even when one character is threatening to pull the trigger and another character screams, "Just do it!", surely Adidas cannot file a lawsuit?
DeleteMy use refers to a paint color. I'll do a work-around. Apparently, Crayola is quite possessive of their crayon color names, too.
DeleteI don't think I've ever written the perfect sentence. Maybe someday.
ReplyDeleteI have done that--stopped reading to stare at the wall for a moment after reading a sentence. Can I remember author, particular sentence? No. And that's because it was in the moment--a sentence that resonated with what was happening in the story, for that scene, that character, or resonated with something I've felt or known. Probably wasn't in 'literary' fiction, because I mostly read mysteries and nonfiction. And Rhys, that simple description : 'a city of bells and birds' is so evocative. I immediately am transported there--hear it, picture it, want to be there, so yeah, great writing doesn't have to be overtly crafted constructions.
ReplyDeleteThat description of Venice is lovely, Rhys! I have a quote from one of Barbara Kingsolver's novels on my fridge. It stopped me in my tracks when I read it years ago and I continue to return to it: "What I want is so simple, I almost can't say it: Elementary kindness. Enough to eat. Enough to go around. The possibility that children grow up to be neither the destroyers nor the destroyed. That's about it."
ReplyDeleteLove that.
DeleteRhys: that really is a perfect thought!
DeleteI think making readers forget they're reading words on a page is the ultimate proof of a job well done, at least for a story-teller. If you write for other reasons--say to impress the world with your literary panache or your deviously clever mind, then good for you. I, as a reader, will rarely finish your books. I want to read books with stories that grab my interest and don't let go, and I want to deliver that same experience to readers who choose my books.
ReplyDeleteCoincidentally, I just wrote Julia's famous first sentence in an email this morning. Our neighbor and my LFL partner was asking me for book recommendations, based on her reading list for the year so far.
ReplyDeleteGreat opening line Rhys! Hank is particularly good at them. My favorite of mine: Emily Harlow wasn’t convinced that her sock drawer sparked joy.
ReplyDeleteRhys: yes that really was perfect, Hallie because it set up the whole story
DeleteWhat is a perfect sentence? My theory is if it is a sentence that grabs your attention, it is a perfect sentence. If I find myself quoting from your novel, then it is a perfect sentence. I still remember the term NSIT (not safe in a taxi) and I mention this every time I am annoyed by someone. LOL. I love how you use words to describe someone or something.
ReplyDeleteInteresting mention about English classes.
When I was in high school, we were blessed to have a high school English teacher who let us read anything we wanted to - it did not have to be Hemingway or Faulkner. If we wanted to read the Color Purple by Alice Walker, that was fine. The teacher wanted to encourage us to become readers. Some people were not readers though once they discovered a writer they loved, they became readers.
Just finished reading HAMNET by Maggie O'Farrell and the writing is beautiful. There are so many wonderful authors who write well and I am so impressed.
Maybe my standards are too high. I have seen certain "literary fiction" books get praised when I cannot follow the story. For many years, books that were considered literature were written by old white men. It is only in recent years that literature have included novels written by women and people of color.
Since March is Women's History Month, I want to focus on reading novels written by women.
Great topic today! Today is my second day of having a sore throat. Yesterday was a great topic and I did not get a chance to comment yesterday. Who would I like to be? I wanted to be a combination of Bionic Woman and the Wonder Woman. I want to be a strong person.
Diana
Rhys: get well soon, Diana. John and I have had the virus for nearly 3 weeks now!
DeleteI think this is a C.S. Lewis quote—“I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning...”
ReplyDeleteEmily Dame
I love that, Emily. Going to put in my journal now.
DeleteWhat I love about your work, Rhys, is that when I pick up any of your novels, I know it's a Rhys Bowen book because your voice is very distinctively yours and that to me is the sign of a great author. I am not a prosy sort either - there will never be five pages of description of the snow falling on a pinecone in one of my books. I write comedy. Period. If a reader says I made them laugh out loud, I'm good.
ReplyDeleteRhys: writing real humor is hard and a gift, Jenn. Too many people try it and font succeed
Delete"...(O)ne of the hardest things about growing older -- remembering all the opportunities you missed because you didn’t have the understanding to appreciate them when they were offered -- and then realizing when you do have the understanding, that it’s too late."
ReplyDeleteFrom A Letter from Sakaye by Beverly Mitchell
Oh. That's wonderful.
DeleteRhys: that does strike a nerve with me. I have weighed lost opportunities so many times
DeleteI don't think that poetic prose and good storytelling are mutually exclusive, and as a reader, I'd like both. Many times a meaningful sentence gives me pause. And I love that. Often times they are savvy insights into human nature. I can't remember any offhand -- but I love the words of Alan Bradley, Donna Tartt, and I loved DJINN PATROL ON THE PURPLE LINE by Deepa Anappara which won an Edgar. The writing in that book is gorgeous and its an amazing story. I have also stopped to think or laughed out loud at the wry descriptions of people and human behavior in books by Elly Griffiths and Richard Osman -- both accomplished storytellers. Many storytellers just nail the essence of the human experience through carefully chosen words.
ReplyDeleteI just want a good story!!
ReplyDeleteI don’t think I’ve ever chosen to read a book based on the first sentence or two.
DebRo
Well, P G Wodehouse was a master of words, in that he could make them do whatever he wanted them to. His famous and most delightful opening sentence comes from The Luck of the Bodkins, 1935.
ReplyDelete“Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to speak French.”
Rhys: he was brilliant
DeleteThat made me snort my coffee!
DeleteSo funny Susan D!
DeleteThat's a brilliant sentence, Susan.
DeleteHe really could make his sentences jump through hoops. I recently listened to an audiobook of one of his Jeeves stories. It was divine!
DeleteWhat an interesting post. I am quite sure I've never written the perfect sentence! Like you, Rhys, I strive to be a good storyteller first. Dominick Dunne's The Two Mrs. Grenvilles was a perfect book. When I finished it, I turned to page one and began again, twice. His use of the language was so beautiful I wanted to study it.
ReplyDeleteI have expereinced that before but cannot give any particulars. I try to save quotes that have a special meaning to me but that isn't quite the same as a perfect sentence.
ReplyDeleteWhen I took a graduate level kiddie lit course the instructor told us about an author (if he named the person that information is gone from my head now) who might spend all day just crafting a "perfect" sentence or paragraph. I wondered how the person could ever finish the book at that rate.
Story is definitely more important that a "perfect" string of words.
Rhys, I don't care if you write perfect sentences. I love your Georgie series so much that I always fall into those books with glee. I do know one crime write who writes perfect sentences: Timothy Hallinan. I savor his books, sometimes reading lines again and again for their perfect cadence and gravitas. Try The Hot Countries, which is dogeared because I go back to read passages in it so often. As for my writing, my favorite review said, "There's not one wasted word." I'll take that.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Joan, the story's the thing. However, I do love authors who come up with sentences so good that I return to them again and again. James Sallis is good for this. But he's a poet. I am going to use the excuse that I'm "crafting the perfect sentence" to account for why my writing goes so slowly!
ReplyDeleteRhys, I remember how much I loved that description of Venice when I read it! You are such a natural storyteller and you have a gift for putting the reading right into the story. That's what keeps us all glued to the page.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to admit I'm a prosy fiddler. I started out writing poetry, and I do spend a lot of time (probably too much) messing with the language. But it's so satisfying when you feel you've finally got a sentence just right.
I love your prose!
DeleteThanks, Judy!
DeleteI remember reading my first Louise Penny years ago and thinking, wow. She writes beautifully. However I love it when an author can suck me into the story immediately with just the first sentence or paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, Rhys. I like well-written conversation. A great storyteller can't be beat.
ReplyDeleteI can't remember how many times I've referenced Julia's opening sentence from In the Bleak Midwinter and how many times I've seen it referenced (as Karen just said she used it in an email this morning). Of course, what is wonderful is that an amazing story follows those amazing opening words. It is a treasure when you can pull a sentence or more from a book as something you want to remember always, but the story does have to be there, too. Rhys, your stories, all of the different series and stand-alones, are great storytelling, so that's the greatest achievement to be known for. And, I was so impressed with the last Lady Georgie, how you managed to have the Lady Georgie flavor to it, while it was so steeped in the history of that time. All the Jungle Reds' authors excel at their storytelling skills, and I'm quite sure that there are memorable lines in all their books. I regret not having kept a notebook of lines I loved. I know as a writer of reviews, when I get the words to come together just how thrilling it is.
ReplyDeleteKathy, I know what you mean! I did a brief review of a book I had just finished on First Chapter Fun's Facebook page. The author commented on it. The next week she actually used MY DESCRIPTION of her main character in an interview. Hah! That was fun!
DeleteI just recently used Julia's opening line in a piece I did for Crimereads! It has to be one of everyone's favorites.
DeleteI’ve always said that I don’t know what makes a good writer good (meaning the technical aspects of writing), but I know it when I see it. I am also one who doesn’t care for flowery prose; I don’t need a lot of descriptive words, I just want to read the story. There are writers, though, who have made me stop and note a phrase or passage. The two who come to mind are Beryl Markham in “West with the Night” and anything by Pat Conroy.
ReplyDeletePat S.
I love Susan's mention of the P. G. Wodehouse opening. And if an author wrote the absolutely perfect sentence, wouldn't she/he be tempted to stop right there? The rest is downhill.
ReplyDeleteI love Rhys's Molly Murphy series. From the first book, I was hooked. I haven't read Under the Tuscan Sun yet, but want to. I do read for word pleasure as well. Sometimes a line will make me pause to reflect. But often I can't remember it enough to quote later. The story really is the thing.
ReplyDeleteIck, I can't believe I wrote "Under the Tuscan Sun!" I meant The Tuscan Child.
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