JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I planned to write about traveling today, since my trip to join the Sailor and Veronique for her graduation involved the Maine Millennial, Youngest and I driving to the Portland Transportation Center, taking a (very nice) bus to Logan Airport, flying to DC, renting a car, and driving from Alexandria (borrowed an inflatable bed from my sister) to Norfolk.
And then, of course, we did it all over again in reverse, fitting in an actual short visit with my sister on the return end. If we had managed to fit in a train ride and a ferry, we would have hit every form of possible travel, excepting ocean liners and the SpaceX Falcon 9.
But... everything went too smoothly! We arrived at every stage with plenty of time to spare. There were no traffic snarls or overbooked flights. (At least not for us. If you were going from Boston to Pittsburgh the same time we were headed for DC, you had the chance to give up your seat for $900. Victoria said, "I''m switching my flight to Pittsburgh.")
The bus was full, but not so full that the girls couldn't sit together, and although we had to wait almost a half hour to sign out our rental car, we got an upgrade, so I had zero complaints. We found bathrooms and rest stops and places to quickly buy good food with no difficulties. In fact, as I type this, I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. It all went so suspiciously well.
So now I'm left with no comical disaster stories about my trip. Instead, I'll just comment on how lovely it is to travel with adult children. They are old enough to watch the bags, pay for some of the meals, and take a turn behind the wheel. And since I don't live with them anymore, the inevitable stresses of the journey are well compensated by the chance to talk and laugh together. We're all close enough so I can explain why I'm skipping dairy, but they have different enough lives that we can have really interesting conversations. (My age-mate friends and I tend to talk a lot about retirement plans.)
I saw young families with small kids in tow or babies in carriers, and I wanted to go up and tell them, "It won't always be like this. You won't always be hauling enough gear to climb Mount Everest. You'll be able to read on the plane instead of spending all your time keeping your infant quiet. Instead of filling your bag with healthy kids' treats, you can have one or two things you enjoy. Although they won't have any dairy, because you will have become lactose intolerant."
Dear readers, do you have any good, event-free travel stories to share? And have you had the pleasure of making a trip with former kids-turned-great companions?
We don’t get to travel much with our girls these days, but our Colorado daughter and her family came east during their spring break and we all went to New York City to do all the tourist-y things [Intrepid, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building, 9/11 Memorial and Museum, a Broadway show]. No hiccups, no issues, just a perfectly wonderful time . . . .
ReplyDeleteMy trip to and from Maryland via plane, was uneventful. Oh wait, they did switch the gates.
ReplyDeleteI have often said that when my boys were little, I never thought about the years AFTER they would be teenagers, and I absolutely love being the parent of adult children. My older son and I traveled to Puerto Rico to see my younger son in early March 2020 and had the best time. I rented the car. Allan rented the AirBnB. John David toured us around the western corner of the island. We all get along and enjoy each other's company. Truly wonderful.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, traveling light with nothing but my own stuff is a dream, carrying only a book, my own snacks, my laptop, my pashmina. No diapers, no changes of little clothing, no juice boxes. We made frequent trips to family in two west coast states when the boys were young (some usto my mom sans husband), plus we took the boys to west Africa three times (twice for ten-month stays). All necessary, but SO much easier now.
Also, so glad your trip went smoothly!
DeleteIt sounds like a dream, Julia. Fabulous!
ReplyDeleteIrwin and I went to Orlando with Rachel, John and the two boys in November 2021. It was wonderful seeing everyone having such a good time! The stories from that trip are mostly terrific.
The closest trip to the one you describe however was when Jonathan was studying in Japan and we met him in Hawaii for the best two-week, four island vacation that you can imagine!
I had a good weekend getaway by train to Montreal in late April. The trains arrived on time both ways (rarely happens). Bonus: the VIA train ticket only cost $13 (regular price is over $100). I used my VIA points for free travel one way, and the 50% discount code VIA gave me for the much delayed late November 2022 trip.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great trip, Julia! I don't have any long distance trips with kids to share, but have experienced something similar traveling with my sisters as adults. No fighting over who gets which seat. Old enough to take turns with the driving. No whining 'are we there yet?'. Great snacks!
ReplyDeleteCincinnati airport is international, now, with a Delta non-stop flight to Paris 4-5 times a week. Embark at CVG, disembark at CDG. Yes, I checked the baggage tags several times to make sure. This year, we're on the new BA non-stop to Heathrow. Life is good.
ReplyDeleteOh, that's SO nice, Margaret. The only international destinations the Portland International Jetport flies to are Nova Scotia and Montreal. Nice, but for almost all other travel, it's off to Boston for us.
DeleteCome to Nova Scotia - you will love it!
DeleteWhat a lovely time you had traveling with your girls and then being with the sailor and his beloved. Good, happy times all around! I would probably be very suspicious if a trip was absolutely flawless.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm standing to relieve my knee, so my feet hurt right now. I'm going to take that as the canker on the rose and be grateful. :-)
DeleteFourteen hours from Cozumel, Mexico to Portland, Maine last week after family time in the sun - taxi, ferry, public bus, flight, customs, flight, taxi, home by midnight with sufficient walking to harvest 8K steps. And enough delays midway to keep us grateful!
ReplyDeletePerfect time to get back to Maine, Anon - just as the grass is coming up and the flowers are starting to bloom!
DeleteThat is truly great travel karma. I'm glad you had such a good time traveling with your adult children. My son is a delightful adult most of the time. I can think of pieces of trips that were wonderful (the time my son and I received a random upgrade to business class on a Lufthansa flight from Portland, Or to Frankfurt) but other pieces, not so much (taking a jet-lagged Tube ride into London from Heathrow and trying to find our hotel)
ReplyDeleteWe do get a little crankiness popping up now and then, Gillian, but we've all learned to ask the grumpy person of they've eaten anything. Usually a small meal brings everything 'round right.
DeleteGood advice for sure!
DeleteOur trip was as an adult with my father and my brother, his spouse and our sister. My father decided he wanted to share our inheritance with us while he was alive, so he cashed in his life insurance (he was 90), and booked us all on a boat cruise around eastern Canada on an adventure tour. We stopped in at places we knew and places that were new to us. He was up and down the boat ladder and into the Zodiac just like the rest of us. On days when he didn’t want to attend the activity, the barkeep ‘attended’ him, and by the sound of it they just swapped tall tales. The staff on the ship went out of their way to provide a trip of a lifetime for all 90 passengers. His highlights – having a whale breach in front of him, walking on Sable Island, and the magic of a perfectly silent moonlit night when the ocean glowed with phosphoresce as we silently returned from a newfoundland kitchen party to the ship.
ReplyDeleteI borrowed everyone's stories and compiled a pictorial essay for us all - Great memories.
What a wonderful story Margo. Your father sounds like a super guy.
DeleteMargo, what a wonderful idea. Create memories together, while you're all there to enjoy them.
DeleteMy trip last week back and forth to Malice with Annette Dashofy was pretty smooth. We didn't even get lost getting to the Marriott once we reached Bethesda!
ReplyDeleteI haven't taken any real trips with my adult-ish kids. Yet. But it is nice to meet The Girl for lunch and have an adult conversation.
I imagine traveling with Annette is a lot of fun, as well as being stress-free, Liz!
DeleteAn enjoyable adventure is the perfect blog, Julia! What an absolute treat. It’s so funny/sad that the universe has now set us up for the certainty that travel is going to be terrible. I’m trying to think of, 10 years ago? Were we so prepared for travel troubles? Coming home from Malice, my plane was four hours late, but that was because it was absolutely torrentially, pouring in Boston, and no planes could land at all. But I had a good book, which I read with crossed fingers, and all turned out fine. I guess it’s all about preparing ourselves, and then, being happily surprised when things turn out to be fine. Just like life sometimes , I suppose.
ReplyDeleteTravel has long been a metaphor for life, hasn't it? My mother used to say before you married a man, you needed to take a long-ish trip with him. If he's a good travel companion, he'll be a good companion in other ways.
DeleteThe most rewarding was a trip with our 2 year old grandson and 6 year old granddaughter. We flew to London (long layover though) then on to Athens, Greece where we met up with their parents who had arrived early to set up their living arrangements - as my son-in-law was teaching at the university there for 3 months. The GK's are now 14 & 18!
ReplyDeleteOh, my goodness, Anon. You really earned your grandparenting gold star with that. I barely managed traveling with toddlers when I was in my thirties - I can't imagine doing it now!
DeleteWhat a wonderful trip, Julia! I feel like every now and then the universe owes you a perfectly stress free adventure. The hooligans are 21 and 22 and I love spending time with them, traveling with them, and talking to them as almost adults - they're not quite fully fledged yet but soon - and then having them go back to their lives and me go back to mine! Honestly, I didn't expect to be so giddy about my newly realized freedom, but I am.
ReplyDeleteIt's the best, Jenn. I love spending warm and happy time with my adult kids and then sending them on their way!
DeleteMy husband always says the worst vacations make the BEST stories. And he's absolutely right! But I'm glad you had a wonderful trip, Julia!
ReplyDeleteHe's right, Annette, but I'm glad to not have any colorful tales to tell from this trip!
DeleteJulia, thank you for this. I'm currently struggling to book travel and lodging in France this summer, and apparently you can't get there from here. I'm waiting for the airline to cancel my flight just to put a cherry on top. But you give me hope. I do love traveling with my grown son. He's such good company and so helpful. Maybe I should just cancel France and plan to go somewhere domestic with him?
ReplyDeleteWell, anon, I can highly recommend Tidewater Virginia/the Hampton Roads area for spending time with a grown son. The good news I heard on NPR this morning? Airline staffing has gotten back to pre-Covid levels, finally. Hopefully, this will be a smooth summer for flying!
DeleteI am that adult child who traveled with my parents. Mom drove, John navigated, I sat in the back seat and only made a fuss if the road got too twisty.for my stomach. I did introduce them to the enjoyment of listening to CDs while in the car. I wisely picked music they would like, which I enjoy but I did throw in some more contemporary pieces for me.
ReplyDeleteDeana, back in the days of CD car players (which doesn't seem like that long ago) the Maine Millennial was in charge of making our family trip mix tapes. Like you, she was a skilled DJ.
DeleteJulia, it sounds lovely, NOT boring! What a bonus when everything goes smoothly. Hope you don't expect that to happen every time. Teehee.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like I'm always agreeing with Edith, but I firmly believe adult children are the rewards for raising them. I so love spending time with my three daughters, individually or in a group. We usually don't travel together to our destination, since they live in Kenya, Northern Michigan, and Oregon, but we have met up all over the US, and in Paris, London, and Kenya, in various configurations. I'm waiting for Zak to be the adult grandchild, too. He's 18 and headed to college, so it won't be long.
They mostly always get along, but weirdly, the "sibling" rivalries most prevalent are between the two sons-in-law. One has been part of our family for 27 years and I think he views the other, eight years in, as the usurper. It can be comical.
Rhys: we have the same, Karen. You should have seen them on go-karts! Or shooting each other with water guns
DeleteThanks for the idea, Rhys. Next time we're together we will set up a physical challenge!
DeletePerfect solution, Karen - gets their rival-energy out and amuses the rest of the family in the process!
DeleteRhys: we’ve taken both sets of grandchildren to England, one set to France and each time it was an absolute joy. Last year we did Cornwall, Paris, River Cruise with our daughter and son in law and it made the trip both fun and easy. Tom took care of bags and drove the car down Cornish lanes. Jane brought me pastries and made us laugh What a blessing to have families to travel with. Treasure your moments, Julia
ReplyDeleteI really do, Rhys. My mother told me there are particular joys in every phase of family life, and she was right.
DeleteWhat a wonderful trip, Julia, and I'm glad everything went so smoothly. Adult kids are the greatist. My daughter is my absolute favorite ever traveling companion. Road trips are especially fun, and we've taken two so far this year, one to Houston for my book signing, and one to Round Top for the antiques fair, which was a blast.
ReplyDeleteOh, Debs, going to Round Top is on my bucket list! Maybe I can lure the Maine Millennial along, as she's getting very into furnishing her house.
DeleteSounds like a great trip all around. Since I'm single with no kids, I can't make the comparison to having kids vs. adult kids. I've traveled with my brother and his family, so I've seen some of it in action, but they are young enough it hasn't reached the adult kids stage yet.
ReplyDeleteKeep in traveling with them, Mark-the big advantage comes when they're old enough to serve as your porters!
DeleteJulia, I was thinking I might see you in Norfolk, but we were only there on Sunday evening until VERY early Monday morning for a 5:15 a.m. flight. Yesterday’s flights were pretty smooth but we were too sleep-deprived to appreciate them. (Had flown to Norfolk and then drove to NC to celebrate my husband’s uncle’s 80th birthday. Had such a great time visiting with family that every night we didn’t get to bed until 1:00 at the earliest!)
ReplyDeleteLast June I drove with my son in a rental truck from to Portland, OR as he and his fiancée relocated from San Jose. It was so nice to have one-on-one time with him, without our significant others along. —Pat S.
Pat, this was a great trip, since it was long enough, and everyone had enough free time, that we all got some one-on-one time: me with each of my kids, and they with their siblings.
DeleteMaking travel connections is NEVER boring! I've been reading so many scary predictions about how chaotic travel will be in the months to come, with airlines short of workers etc. Getting stuck overnight at a connecting airport is a nightmare. I agree,
ReplyDeleteJulia, grown-up children are fantastic. Mine have made up, many times over, for their many pissy moments. I still remember when our overtired two-year-old Naomi took off all her clothes in Logan's baggage claim and before we noticed wen streaking around screaming MY BODY MY BODY! I was afraid we'd get arrested. Fortunately we did not have a connection to make.
Hallie that sounds like an indelible parenting moment. I'm sure it was a horror at the time, but what a story!
DeleteHi, all - sorry for being late to the party; the day has been busy with saying goodbye, driving to my sister's house, and then returning the rental car. Now the girls and I are waiting at the gate for our flight. I'm giving myself high-fives because my goal was to walk into the airport at 1:20 and we were through security at 1:12! I'm at the stage where maling things work seamlessly because I added in extra time is extremely gratifying.
ReplyDeleteJulia, I'm so glad you had a problem-free trip with your girls, and the end destination being your son and Veronique made a perfect family trip. If I could make it happen, I'd do a family trip every year, which would include my son and my daughter and her family. Ashley's family does include my thirteen-year-old granddaughter, but she is an absolute delight, so it would be heaven. But, getting everyone together seems impossible, with different schedules and activities. I have gone on a couple of trips with my daughter and her family, the most ambitious one being Universal and Harry Potter World in Orlando back in 2017. It went very smoothly. I had done all the arrangements, and no snafus popped up. Husband was still away in his work, so he didn't go. My dream trip is all of us going to England and sharing a visit to my ancestral roots and other great places of interest. That is probably going to stay a dream. But, I do enjoy my adult children immensely. Talking to them, laughing with them, being with them is always something I treasure.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes!! Traveling without young children is one of those gifts you can only truly appreciate when you've lived though the opposite. I haven't had the pleasure of traveling with my adult children, but when my husband and I travel alone, or (shhh), even better, when I travel alone, I feel like I'm getting away with murder - fabulous! Glad your trip went well, Julia!
ReplyDeleteI have traveled with nieces, of an age to be fun, and I have helped mothers traveling with littles, finding them far more entertaining than in-flight reading (and helping to preserve calm and quiet for others who might be less inclined). On one flight I assured the mother I had rescued from proximity to business types that her babe was more fun than the new H.P. book, which pleased her much. <3
ReplyDeleteI'm grad you had smooth sailing, flying, driving on your splendid trip.