Personally, I remember talking to an author when I first started writing and she said she used blunt trauma 90% of the time because it left so many questions to be answered.
I'm not big on shooting but I have another author friend who says she shoots everyone. Um...okay. LOL.
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Tom Gauld on murder methods for modern mystery writers – cartoon, The Guardian
Following the new BBC adaptation of And Then There Were None, Tom detects the perilous endings that await modern-day murder mystery victims |
Poison seems to be my modus operandi -- clearly, no one is ever coming to dinner at my house again -- but I do enjoy a good blunt trauma as well.
Lastly, should I be worried that I spend this much time thinking about murder? Occasionally, I'm concerned. Primarily because while doing a search about the most common methods of murder, this "You're not alone" intervention response came up:
How do I let Google know I'm okay? I'm not feeling homicidal. This was for work, I swear! Maybe I need to add "asking for a friend" to all of my searches. Eep!
I don't have any great preferences for how authors choose to do in a character, but shooting or smashing something over their heads seems a bit . . . ordinary. I like the clever things like poisoning the quiche or the unexpected shove that sends someone tumbling down the staircase or off the balcony . . . .
ReplyDeleteThe deadly tumble! I like it.
DeleteI love the video, Jenn! I have a little hand-written table of methods I've used on my whiteboard. Poison tops my list, too. Thank you to The Poison Lady, Luci Zahray, for inspiring and educating about my latest nefarious method, and I was happy to learn that some poisons act faster if the victim has a pre-existing health condition.
ReplyDeleteI've actually never shot anyone. That just seems too easy, right? Plus I don't know about guns (my protags don't either), and I don't want to.
I - I mean, my bad guy! - did shove someone into a pen of malnourished pigs once. Shovee hit their head, and things went downhill from there.
Shooting is too easy. Agreed.
DeleteLove the video. How about shoving down the stairs, shoving in front of a car, a nice placed deadly karate kick, a out of control fire where badly burned body is discovered, death by stampede, a push off of an amusement park ride, being held down in a body of water,
ReplyDeleteOMG! Today is going to be hilarious. Dru! Who knew?
DeleteI like death by stampede. Hmmm.
DeleteDidn't watch the video, my "ears" are still out, will comment on that later. From the golden age of mysteries 1. A piano wire poked under the arm pit and into the heart cavity. 2. talking someone into giving blood, then taking them for drink(s). When the victim passes out insert more alcohol using the puncture site from blood donation. Victim dies from alcohol poisoning 3. No longer possible due to modern medicine -- pour hot lead into the victims ear, lead burns a path into the brain. Death looks like a stroke, until the autopsy. Killer is long gone.
ReplyDeleteYes I have thought about this a lot, especially how to kill a nasty supervisor. So far in this regard, poison on the date stamp pad. or death by book cart. Other methods from other jobs available on request.
omg Coralee, you are lethal, and clever! We will stay on your good side...
DeleteHaving watched my brother melt lead to make diving weights, I am impressed with the concept of having the accessibility to all the ingredients, and not looking suspicious! However should you figure out that, it sounds really good, if possibly noisy as the victim screams!
DeleteDeath by book cart...I'm intrigued.
DeleteOoh, Dru, you have a previously unrecognized dark side. LOL
ReplyDeleteJenn, so funny. I'm now officially off cupcakes. Just in case.
I keep a soil knife with me in the garden, also known as a hori hori. It's a wicked thing, with a 7"-long, wide blade, sharpened at the v-shaped tip and along one side. The other side has both a heavy serration and a sharp hook for cutting tough stems, etc. I keep it in a sort of leather holster in a deep pocket in my gardening pants.
It would make a dandy weapon, either for protection, or a sudden crime of passion.
Ooo, Karen. Wicked!
DeleteThat sounds like a Midsomer-sort of weapon. Nasty amount of damage, I would think!
DeleteThat sounds like a very handy weapon...er...tool to have.
DeleteMrs White, in the kitchen with the knife. Professor Plum in the library with the rope. Mrs. Peacock in the Conservatory with the candlestick. I LOVED that game.
ReplyDeleteI think that when it's a story with a bakery at the center, that poison makes sense. Then the bakery owner has to clear herself and all the employees of wrongdoing.
Drowning is harder to do in Arizona, but people do have pools. You could push someone off a mountain, plenty of those in AZ, but first you have to get someone up there. Tall buildings? Rooftop gardens?
Hey, you've got this, Jenn! You've killed lots of people on two continents!! LOL
LOL. I have never pushed someone (fictionally) off a building, I don't think. I'll have to check. I like it.
DeleteSince you're in AZ, death by snake bite (or spider bite) came to mind first. Electrocution (frayed electrical cord, throwing an electrical item into a pool or hot tub). Death by heat stroke (locked sauna room or leaving a tied up victim to die in the desert heat). Lots of possible methods besides poisoning!
ReplyDeleteYou've given this a lot of thought, Grace. LOL
DeleteWe do get rattlers in the yard and scorpions. Hmm.
DeleteJenn, love the post and video! Reds, we must all cultivate your good will or no telling what will happen! thanks to all for the early chuckles:)
ReplyDeleteSeriously. This is a bloodthirsty group!
DeleteI am impressed by the latent thuggery in our group.
DeleteI am in an Uber, and I was going to dictate my answer —but then I realized how difficult it would be, even if I explained to my driver what I was doing… so more to come when I get home and can talk about killing people more freely…. Xxx
ReplyDeleteHank, too funny!
DeleteI am going to keep coming back all day. This is hysterical!
DeleteHa ha ha!
DeleteCurrently we are having relative issues. My neighbour suggested offering her a cannabis gummy bear (legal in Canada), laced with insulin. Neighbour has the insulin, so that is not a problem. The edible is not a problem as long as it is not chocolate, as she ’doesn’t eat chocolate’ – see I told you she was not human. The main issue that will requiring some Googling is whether you can use insulin to cause death orally or does the digestive system destroy it before it destroys her… You google, write the book, and we will go from there…
ReplyDeleteI will watch the video after Jack finishes the paper - no noise. Maybe he can be a test case or maybe I can wipe the edges of the paper with ricin...
Love me some ricin!
DeleteSteve's cousin doesn't like chocolate, either, a serious flaw, in my opinion. What's wrong with these people? LOL
DeleteMargo, good luck with the relative problem!
Thanks, too many people here and much too busy to do it today. Will have to postpone a bit, but will study all these delightful options - still thinking of belladonna or digitalis - she likes flowers. (these murders are calming my nerves - thanks for this!)
DeleteOh, dear, good luck with the relative situation. I've been there.
DeletePoison is always good and the delivery system can vary. Too bad we no longer have to lick stamps. Wait, we hardly ever have to use stamps at all. I remember reading about a woman who poisoned her husband with eye drops. I'm thinking she somehow got him to ingest them. I'm not sure how reliable that would be. A slow-acting poison would be good as long as time wasn't a factor. But if you want something quick-acting and undetectable not sure what you get. Maybe it should look like suicide, but that has to be a lot trickier than it might seem.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, Jenn. You just keep writing them and I'll keep reading them, however you decide to off the victim.
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DeleteEyes have a mucous membrane that can absorb substances, like contact poison.
DeleteMmm, eyes. *rubs hands together*
DeleteThank you, Judi. Eye drops, you say? Hmm.
DeleteThanks for the laughs Jenn! Any suggestions I would have have already been mentioned by this creative group.
ReplyDeleteI just read two mysteries in a row (by different authors) where the victims were shot with arrows and in each case the protagonist had to figure out who might have had the necessary skill to make a lethal shot from distance, I imagine that in mysteries focused around food, poison would be a very common means. It makes sense!
Arrows? That is a fresh take!
DeleteI'd say, set your murder story back at least 30 or 40 years before DNA made it a lot easier to catch and convict murderers. And you're gonna leave epithelial evidence so only do in people who you live with, work with (who else would you WANT to do in, anyway?): "Of course my DNA is there-- I LIVE there!" Method of choice (and scary as hell)-- I'd say fentanyl. Or sarin. Or whatever those Russian operatives put onto umbrella tips. And do not put your DNA up on any of those finding-your-roots sites. And hope your relatives haven't.
ReplyDeleteAnd figure somebody's ring camera is going to catch you-- or you're going to be in the background of somebody's selfie. I'm just thinking from a defense standpoint (How else would a lawyer think?) Maybe murder during a power outage is the only feasible way to be successful and not get caught-- and watch out for those generators! Somebody's going to have power.
Power outage? Brilliant. So much potential for mayhem.
DeleteI like plant-based poisons, carbon monoxide, blunt force trauma, and Deanna Raybourn's explosive coffee creamer in KILLERS OF A CERTAIN AGE. I used a certain flower on a wedding cake to poison all the wedding guests...except one. With fondant icing, it would be poison rolled into the fondant, like monkshood.
ReplyDeletePoisoned fondant - oh, that is wicked. I like it.
DeleteThen again, now that I think of it, best to be open about it. Open carry a deadly weapon to a political rally, shoot someone you don't like OPENLY, and then protest that you were standing your ground or protecting your car/castle. These are the guys that are getting away with murder.
ReplyDeleteSo true!
DeleteI've used shooting, stabbing, strangulation, and bludgeoning. I've only used poison once (twice, if you count a short story). I found the poison one the most difficult, to be honest. How do you get the poison to the victim? The others are far more straightforward.
ReplyDeleteBut my favorite? In the manuscript under submission, I pushed the victim so she went over Niagara Falls. Yes, National landmark as murder weapon.
Liz, love this!
DeleteHa! I've been to those falls - how people thought going over in a barrel was a good idea is beyond me. YIKES!
DeleteI'll take death any way the author chooses to bring it, just as long as the bad guy gets caught and justice rules in the end.
ReplyDeleteYes! Good must triumph over evil.
DeleteI’ve always thought that a death-by-very pointy icicle would be good, because the murder weapon would melt!
ReplyDeleteWasn’t there an Alfred Hitchcock episode in which a woman bludgeoned her husband with a large piece of frozen meat, and then roasted it? She fed the murder weapon to the detectives when they came around.
Strangulation seems to be popular these days in real life.
I have some more ideas, but I’m getting ready to go out to an appointment.
DebRo
I do like the weapons that disappear.
DeleteOr stabbed with an icicle...
DeleteThis does remind me of Fried Green Tomatoes - that was a well done murder.
DeleteA disappearing weapon. Very smart!
DeleteOoo, how about bludgeoning with a piece of firewood, then toasting marshmallows?
Delete"Lamb to the Slaughter" short story that Alfred Hitchock based a show on. Wife kills husband with frozen leg of lamb and then serves the cooked lamb to the police.
DeleteLibby, that’s the one I was thinking of! Thanks for refreshing my memory on the details!
DeleteDebRo
Judy, a Louise Penny has a victim bludgeoned with wood that is tossed in a bon fire, in the snow and cold of New Year’s Eve in Three Pines.
DeleteThat’s me Elisabeth. Hopeless Gamache fan.
DeleteWhen I was dating the man who became my husband the first time he came to my house he noticed my books shelf filled with how to books on poison. He said he considered never asking me out again after that. I do like poison, but I find it the hardest to write. I've used strangulation, shooting, poison, drowning, drug overdose, and in my latest - broken necks.
ReplyDeleteAs for that google thing - I've gotten to the point where I use incognito. Makes me feel a little safer from discovery LOL!
Haha, glad he overlooked your "hobby". I should probably go incognito.
DeleteJust use the search engine Duck Duck Go. There is no tracking and much less “paid” results.
DeleteJENN, great post! Wish I could recall more from my readings.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if I am allowed to include Midsommer Murders, a British detective tv programme, which is based on the books by Caroline Graham? They always invent many different ways to kill someone. There was an episode where the murder weapon was a knitting needle in the ear!
Diana
I love the knitting needle in the ear - maybe the crafternooners could use that...hmm.
DeleteRhys: have you tried suffocating in a bowl of frosting? Since my books are historical I enjoy stumping people because there was no DNA or sophisticated tools. I’ve used many methods: blunt trauma, pushed downstairs or off a boat, poisoned, shot etc etc. My most gruesome was shitting someone in a steam room and turning up the heat. Now I’m going to go away and write a list to see which method I haven’t used
ReplyDelete(Love the typo, which is probably what the victim did...)
DeleteI've killed someone in the 1880s with a sharpened knitting needle and someone else with a hat pin in the carotid artery. So satisfying.
You were very wise to go historical, Rhys. Jealous!
DeleteBorrowing a page from the movie Goldfinger, having the victim covered in fondant which results in some form of asphyxiation would definitely seem appropriate.
ReplyDeleteGold fondant???!!! Brilliant!
DeletePoison is so handy! I read a story where poisonous honey killed the victim. Bees used poisonous flowers exclusively and their beekeeper knew it. We know to feed the person with food allergies that which they are allergic to. But where is their epi-pen? Darn! A lot of people have gone off cliffs and mountainsides taking selfies. There could certainly be more. Just one more step and it'll be perfect! Gosh I didn't mean for that huge air bubble to get in your IV/syringe/ whatever. Sorry about that. I know you love mushrooms so I found enough just for you! Please enjoy. Hiking in the woods sure makes one hungry. See those berries? I'm sure they're edible. Going to drive those mountain roads? What fun! Huh. That looks like brake fluid where he/she was parked. Oh well. It was lovely having you here for dinner. Please take this wine with you. I saw how much you enjoyed it. I've recorked it for you so don't let it sit too long or the air will get to it. Drive carefully.
ReplyDeleteLOL, you're inspired, Pat!
DeleteLOL. Google is on to you.
ReplyDeleteRight? EEP!!!
DeleteFavorite writers have changed forever my attitude toward plants, so many pretty "innocent" ones aren't. Lilies of the Valley? . . . and mushrooms! When I wrote my "NCLB Murder," I had to use multiple methods to include all the teachers' departments in the group (not) targeted by the (not) real principal. I did persuade colleagues that fictional revenge was safer and less messy. https://storytellermary.wordpress.com/2012/04/01/storytelling-links/
ReplyDeleteFictional revenge is always better in the long run.
DeleteOne of the most memorable murders in a movie for me was in the 1987 Black Widow, with Debra Winger and Theresa Russell. Theresa Russell's character Catherine would marry wealthy men and make sure that early in the marriage the man would die. Debra Winger was the federal agent who was investigating her. Well, with husband #3 or #4, Catherine knew he was extremely allergic to penicillin. He used one particular toothpaste and kept a supply of it in a drawer, already out of the boxes. Catherine put penicillin in one of the tubes (very impressive operation she did) and place it back in the drawer with the others. She really didn't know when he would use that tube, but she knew it wouldn't be too long. So, he finally got to that tube and died of a heart attack.
ReplyDeleteOh, that is dark and effective!
DeleteIt is, Debs. The movie was good. I actually had another paragraph to my comments, and I don't know where it went. My computer has been doing strange things lately. I'm beginning to feel I might be in a Twilight Zone episode.
DeleteAn interesting one I remember from Shakespeare is "eaten by a bear," in The Winter's Tale. But that seems unlikely in a shop selling cupcakes. You can always have someone locked in the walk-in freezer. Or, heck, just poison them. How about some sort of "natural" food dye for the frosting--natural, as we all know, does not mean safe! -Melanie Also, as a fun exercise, there is a pie-chart online of the various ways people were killed in Shakespeare.
ReplyDeleteSo true - so many bad things to ingest! Food dye - brilliant.
DeleteCoralee, death by book cart really cracked me up. My imagination is working overtime! ( Which won't o actually help with the book I am supposed to be writing...) The most bizarre I have ever read was a classic: Dorothy L. Sayers. Who can guess? Yes, Nine Tailors. A man is left tied up, overnight, in a room directly below the bell tower. After a special all-night bell ringing, he is found dead, the intense reverberations of the huge bells having killed him (heart attack? stroke? l can't remember that part- it's been a LOT of years) I did read later that she had the science wrong and it would not have cause death. So disillusioning. Anyone know the facts on that? Myself, I mostly use simple and obvious. Guns can do a lot of damage with horrid efficiency. There was a death by drug overdose, companions being too high themselves to comprehend what was happening. Suggested by true horrific fraternity hazing cases where someone died. And long ago I used insulin, a natural for me. Lot sof Type 1 diabetes in my family.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea insulin was poisonous until today. Yikes.
DeleteNot really a poisone as such,but an overdose for a diabetic can be deadly and I think probably a dose given to someone who is not diabetic could have very serious effects.
DeleteThe true story that the book and movie, Reversal of Fortune, was based on suspicion of attempted murder using insulin. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/ReversalOfFortune
DeleteYes, the how is more interesting but the why has to hold up - thus the overthinking. LOL.
ReplyDeleteYou can use speakers and certain pitches of sound to mimic the bells in 9 Tailors. You all have missed an easy one… electrocution…. Electric car charger, perhaps? There are capacitors in computers and electronic that could kill too. Datura is another very common plant that is poisonous.
ReplyDeleteHow about death by Smarthouse that is wired to do everything and the house turns on the victim. Overheated pool? Exploding microwave? Garage door drops on victim, door locks, thermostat is increased to lethal level? Anything that can be manipulated using a phone, hub and house.
ReplyDeleteAntifreeze or Drano in a smoothie, over a period of time, has become popular with real life disgruntled spouses
ReplyDeleteHe kept his driving glasses in his car. The poison placed on the rim along his temples blurred his vision during a tight curve, the glasses were destroyed in the fatal crash…
ReplyDelete