LUCY BURDETTE: I should preface this by reminding/telling you that I am a terrible sleeper. Anything wakes me up and I have a devil of a time returning to sleep. A couple of weeks ago, John’s watch erupted in the night. OMG, what awful emergency had happened? The watch reported: “Your activity ring is almost closed. A ten-minute brisk walk would finish the job.”
This is 2 am people! I don’t know about you, but getting a message about taking a brisk walk at 2 AM does not seem like a worthy emergency to me. We had a few words to make sure he had turned the alerts off and I struggled back to sleep.
Not long after, the watch piped up again. “Now would be a good time to unwind. Sit in a comfortable position that’s relaxing. Close your eyes if that’s comfortable. Find something close to you. Notice the little details.”
There was something close to him all right—me—but noticing the details of my outrage wasn’t going to help him unwind!
I think we’ve sorted that out and he’s made sure that nighttime conversation with his watch is off-limits. Do you have a watch or other device that you rely on, that sometimes runs amok? How are you sleeping?
HALLIE EPHRON: That’s crazy–and the device doesn’t even have a sense of humor.
Lucy, I feel for you. Sleep is so crucial. Sometimes I have a terrible time getting back to sleep, watching the minutes tick by from 2 … to 3… to 4. And I canNOT ignore a phone ping. After having had my credit card number stolen several times, I have my bank account set to alert me whenever the card is charged, and if I forget to turn off the ringer overnight, then those pings wake me up. Why, oh why, does the Washington Post need to charge my credit card at three in the morning??
DEBORAH CROMBIE: Oh, poor you, Lucy. I have trouble getting to sleep, but once out I'm not all that prone to waking up again. HOWEVER, Rick gets text messages, usually from the weather service, and sometimes from friends who don't seem to realize that texts are not emails… But since I'm deaf in one ear, I try to sleep on the GOOD ear and that gives me my own personal noise-canceling device.
JENN McKINLAY: I don’t own a watch and we keep our cell phones out of the bedroom. And, honestly, I’m a champion sleeper. Once I shut my eyes I’m out for 6-7 hours and can sleep through anything. When the Hooligans were teenagers, they threw late night pool parties. I had NO IDEA until a neighbor mentioned it. Ha! Those scamps. If I do get woken up, I can shut my eyes and go right back to sleep. I don’t dream, either. I’m a weirdo, I know.
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN; Oh my golly, I remember when I first got my new phone, before the pandemic, I was in a hotel room, one of those times where plane is at 6 AM, which means you have to get up at 4 AM, and the whole thing is terrible, so I went to sleep really early, like 830. I t was ridiculous, and I must’ve gotten ten million billion texts. And they all pinged. Everything pinged. Once or twice I can handle, but ping, ping, ping ping ping ping ping--argh,you can’t believe it.
I almost threw the phone across the room. Problem was, I had not learned how to silence all the notifications without silencing the alarm. Is there even a way to do that? But I’ve got to tell you, tossing the phone out the window would’ve happened had there been a window that opened. I was awake, anyway, and zombied to the airport.
When Jonathan takes his hearing aids out, he can’t hear his own phone ping during the night, but I certainly do. I guess the good news is I can always instantly go back to sleep after I wake up for that sort of thing. It’s annoying, but isn’t life-changing. (I guess my brain says, oh, that’s okay, and goes back to sleep.)
Also, my husband always forgets to take his pills, so I have alarms set everywhere to remind him. I also set an alarm to remind him after he ignored the first reminder. The alarm is at 9 PM .
We usually have dinner around nine, too. So every night at nine, the microwave beeps, the sous vide beeps, the oven timer beeps, the Alexa beeps with the reminder, and then Alexa beeps again with the reminder about the reminder.
Plus, the Alexa does not listen to me. Does not respond to my voice when I say “Alexa stop!” So, in addition to all the pings and alarms, there’s also me yelling. It’s quite the moment.
RHYS BOWEN: I’m a really light sleeper. This comes after four kids woke as babies, then had bad dreams, then came in late as teenagers. John can creep across the room and I’m awake. And find it hard to get back to sleep. I’ve started turning off my phone because every political candidate in the world texts me at night. So annoying.
If I fall asleep at the perfect time I sleep well. If I watch a movie until eleven my brain is wide awake again. If I wake in the middle of the night my brain immediately kicks into full creative mode: that scene you just wrote … how about if the dialog went like this….. and I dream all the time. Vivid, interesting dreams. Rarely nightmares these days…
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Lucy, I had the same thing happen when I first got my Fitbit - evidently it was refurbished in Hawai'i because it kept giving me messages based on "my time" of GMT -10! When I finally figured out the app and fixed it, I was so releived. I thought I was doomed to 3am exercise notices forever.
I put my phone on sleep mode, with exceptions for my kids, so a call from one of them will break through. I'm actually sleeping better thanks to an electronic device: the Alexa Dot in my bedroom plays ambient noise all night long. It's sooo soothing to fall asleep to Train or Spacedeck or Wind in Trees - and it masks the sound of commuters zipping past my house starting at 5:30am each morning.
Oh, my . . . I’m chuckling about the silly watch messages in the wee hours of the morning, but I feel for you, Lucy.
ReplyDeleteMy Fitbit hasn’t run amok [yet] and my phone [which has an app on it that announces every text message and every call] stays out of the bedroom . . . .
Sometimes I am lucky enough to fall asleep easily, but I have bouts of not being able to sleep and, like Hallie, find myself watching those minutes ticking by. [When that happens, I usually surrender, get up, and read.]
that's the smart thing to do Joan--get up and do something else. All the experts tell us to do that, but it's hard to give up the idea of sleeping!
Delete'They' say that getting up and doing something (or reading) works. Not watching TV or turning on the computer. Not sure why. Something about the light??
DeleteGetting up when I can't sleep--I can never make myself do that. It seems impossibly difficult. And I know that sometimes I think I am not asleep, but I AM asleep.
DeleteHank, when I was having trouble sleeping, I think I sometimes dreamed that I couldn't get to sleep, which meant that I actually was. Or maybe it was all in my head.
DeleteI set my phone to Do Not Disturb, although a few friends seem to be waiting and text me the instant it goes off, whether I wanted to be awake then or not.
ReplyDeleteIn general, I take a bit to fall asleep. I might or might not sleep well - it feels like some days I do and some days I don't. Recently, I've been staying up too late, but that's on me, not on anything else.
And on that not, I'm going to log off and go to bed.
On that note! Clearly, I should have already been in bed. :)
DeleteI keep my phone in the bedroom on sleep mode except for calls from my son.
ReplyDeleteI have trouble falling asleep when I read on my iPad in the dark. I know I’m not supposed to, but it’s reading… My husband has loud dreams (yelling at someone or dreaming about a snake in the bed, e.g.) so wakes me a couple of times a week. I used to be able to go back to sleep, but for the past year, once awakened, I can’t. So I get up, read, watch TV (really quietly because I don’t want to disturb the dog), whatever allows me to get tired enough to fall back to sleep. Speaking of which, I have to go to bed now. Sleep well! — Pat S.
LOL Pat, I'm so glad you're thoughtful about the dog!
DeleteWhen I go to bed, it takes 15 minutes and I'm asleep and will hear nothing until I wake up.
ReplyDeleteI'm desperately envious Dru!
DeleteThat's a talent!
DeleteI’m exactly the same, Dru!
DeleteI keep my phone close to me at all times due to medical conditions and family members with same. I never know if I will have to fly to MA for a family emergency or my son have to fly into Ft Myers. I've always been a light sleeper and an early riser as even as a teenager I had to be at work at 5am. Now I have 2 cats that make sure I'm up before 5am because they think they are going to starve. I do get the free comedy act afterwards. I have to admit that most days I do take a nap in the afternoons or as I tell my husband I going to lay down and read and I fall asleep with the book or kindle in my hands.
ReplyDeleteCats, yes! Right now it's so light out in the am that I have to shut the door or the dog will go downstairs and bark at intruders and perpetrators at 5 am!
DeleteAh those medical emergencies... I gave up my land line months ago and I do miss that feature... that people could wake me if they absolutely needed to.
DeleteThe cats are going to starve. Yup. It could happen, they just know it.... :-)
DeleteOh, Lucy! I empathize. I sleep lightly and poorly. I use my elderly phone to listen to audiobooks, to provide me with driving directions, and occasionally to call or to receive texts. I write on a laptop. Thus, I know little about how phones or iPads work. My husband loves gadgets and technology, can sleep soundly through babies screaming, and has many, many items that beep. Once he went away for two weeks and left his iPad plugged in on the kitchen counter. Its alerts woke me up all night long. In desperation I unplugged it, wrapped it in an old t-shirt, and buried it deep in a drawer on the far side of the house.
ReplyDeleteI can sure picture that battle with the ipad!
DeleteSleep problems are the worst. I charge my phone next to my bed, but even when I forget to put it on Do Not Disturb (with exceptions set for my kids), I rarely get texts in the night, and I don't have any fitness or relaxation apps. (How watching a screen that tells you how to breathe is supposed to be relaxing, I can't imagine.)
ReplyDeleteI usually fall asleep fairly easily, and can usually get back to sleep after I wake up once or twice in the night to do what's necessary. But occasionally I just lie there for hours like Hallie, watching 2 and 3 and 4 roll by until I give up and get up. Unlike Rhys, my brain goes to rehashing a zillion issues from my past instead of new plot points. I will say that silicone earplugs are my best friends, especially when traveling!
Me too on the rehashing. I will look for the earplugs, since some conferences are coming up:)
DeleteRoberta, you can find them in any drugstore near the eyedrops and such, usually. I actually divide each in half and reuse until they get gross, then start fresh. I get the forty-pack!
DeleteI use my silicon earplugs while traveling, too. A lifesaver!
DeleteUgh, John's device is horrible. No apps like that for me!
ReplyDeleteI keep my phone out of the bedroom and have it set & my laptop on Do Not Disturb mode until 5 am. And I am usually a good sleeper. I just need a cool dark bedroom & I'm dozing within 10 minutes of going to bed.
How lucky you are Grace!
DeleteAgreed. Having a watch tell you what to do is the good news and the bad news. When my fitbit says: Get up and take steps! I say--hey, sister, I'm writing. Give me a break! But I do love to see that I got steps.
DeleteSame. My phone is out of the bedroom but I can hear it if the hooligans call in an emergency.
DeleteI used to be a sleep champion -- easily, anywhere. Not so much anymore, though if I wake in the night, I can usually get back to sleep. I'll often listen to the radio through an earbud, which either sends me back to sleep or keeps me awake happily listening to some fascinating program from the. CBC or its overnight partners. Either way, it's ok by me now that I don't have to get up for a job anymore.
ReplyDeleteOne of the blessings of being self-employed is the chance for an afternoon couch nap!
DeleteI silence my cell phone overnight, but when I hear it "rumble" I wake up, sure it's one of the kids. And don't forget the smoke detectors, which ONLY chirp at 2am. One chirp, and silence. Which means I was awake for the rest of the night waiting for the second chirp, replacement battery in hand.
ReplyDeleteOh I know that one chirp! Brutal!
DeleteThen the second chirp and you have to find the step ladder, figure out which alarm it is... then you are well and truly AWAKE!! I once woke up to the rumble of running water. Turned out the tap in front of my house had been turned on. No idea by whom or why, but I was glad I was able to shut it off before water flooded my basement.
DeleteYes, I do think our brains are amazing...to be attuned to "wrong" like that.
DeleteI generally don't sleep all that well. I have no problem falling asleep. It's staying asleep that's a problem. I don't have to worry about my phone chirping endless updates or whatever. I shut it off around 11pm and turn it back on before heading out to work in the morning.
ReplyDeleteI do hate not sleeping through the night a lot though.
From Celia: oh, sleeping issues are brutal. I seem to have partially solved mine by listening to a sleep meditation nightly. I settle down, light out, phone face down and by the end anything from a 5 minute or much longer I’m out. Of course there are the forced wakings for bathroom visits but back to sleep I go. Everything is OFF on my iPhone at night. I had to ban Victors iWatch as it woke me. No smart phone for me thanks there’s enough going on here. I don’t need another nazi app. I’ve found sleep meditation really works for me. But of course there’s always the dreaded smoke alarm.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday, Celia!
DeleteFrom Celia: thanks so much Edith, but my birthday is actually in October. Did I mess up in my comments or is Fb at fault.
DeleteFunny - Annette Dashofy wished you a happy birthday in her FB group today!
DeleteWell, this is certainly a timely post for me since I spent an hour + watching ACORN during the night! After I am awake for 45-60 minutes I get out of bed and head downstairs to watch something soothing. Before I finished all of ESCAPE TO THE COUNTRY episodes that was my go to program. Last night I watched a horrible show called WPC something. When I go back to bed I have to convince myself that whenever I wake up will be OK; that works unless I have an appointment for something important.~~Emily Dame
ReplyDeleteJenn, you are the luckiest person I know! You do understand that is a gift, right? You fantastic sleep ability? Usually I could get to sleep fairly easily but once I woke up to go to the bathroom, which happens several times in the night, it is very hard to go back to sleep. Lately my sciatica pain has been severe and the medication I take for the pain doesn't do a thing for the pain but it sure helps me sleep. No problems at all, even after trips to the bathroom.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first got a smart phone I could not stand all those pings, so I turned off all notifications. Or maybe I just silenced them, but I no longer hear them. The phone is on Do Not Disturb all the time now so the only calls I hear are from family and they all know to try the landline first.
Thanks for the tip about the silicon ear plugs! I have always needed a lot of sleep, but as a mother, I sleep very lightly. And as I age, while I can generally fall asleep, I seem to be in a pattern of waking up around 3 AM and not being able to fall back to sleep. Sometimes I surrender and get up or read, but as I still am working the afternoons are harder than they need to be. I need to use a CPAP for sleep apnea, so that is the device that gives me the worst time. Mostly it is the headgear slipping, then the mask leaks and wakes me. Lately I bought a new travel machine which instead of continous air pressure supposedly adjusts to my breathing. Well, maybe it does, but it takes a while before I don't fill like I'm a balloon being filled with air. And then a piece comes loose in the night and it is like a jet engine.
ReplyDeleteAs you may realize, we are retired. We are also not well-off monetary-wise, but have lots of other things in life. We do not have a fit-bit or a cell phone and I don’t think Alexa lives here, tho I wonder if something else is spying on us because why do we talk about something and suddenly an ad shows up on Facebook? Actually, we do have 2 old, old cell phones that really are for emergency only. Mine sits on the dining room shelf – I check it maybe every 2 days, and Jack’s is usually ‘somewhere’ and usually not charged – he doesn’t clue in to that concept. Neither are in the bedroom. We do (sometimes) take them when we leave home in case we need them. Actually, I usually remember mine half way down the driveway, and I am not going back to get it. In spite of frequent nagging from family members, I don’t carry it in my pocket (how to you keep your pants from falling down?), just in case ‘something’ happens.
ReplyDeleteIf I had a fit bit telling me it was time to relaxxxxxx, it would put my blood pressure through the roof!
As for sleeping, I have diabetes and find it affects my sleep. First there is the having to get up sometimes every hour to pee thing. What I have noticed is that if I have what seems like a good night’s rest, that my sugar will be high in the morning. I have to weigh off which is the better – the sleep, or the blood sugar – neither of which I can control. In the meanwhile, not sleeping means either listening to the radio (there is a lot of good stuff on CBC after midnight), or reading until the book wakes me up as it falls on my nose.
Great topic! Most nights these days, my friend sleep and I do pretty well together. This is good, because we have been through some rough patches where we didn't get along at all. If I stay up too late, past the sweet sleep window, I have a really hard time going to sleep, so I try to maintain a regular schedule. Occasionally I will take a melatonin. My phone is with me, but silenced, and I don't hear it when I'm asleep. I should probably use the DND mode, because I would like to be wakened if there's an emergency. If I wake up in the night, I turn on the radio, which is the BBC World Service. Mostly I go back to sleep within about a half hour.
ReplyDeleteIf I remember to take 10mg of melatonin and read before bed, I'll fall asleep and (usually) stay asleep. Oh, except if I drank something too late, then I have to get up to pee. Or if I get night sweats (hello premenopause). Or if I have to be up early for something - I have a hard time falling asleep because I'm terrified I'll oversleep, despite having set an alarm.
ReplyDeleteI put my phone on DND between 10pm and 7am. I used to let texts from my kids break through, because if they texted me that late it would be an emergency. Not now that they're older.
No phones, no tv, no watch devices in our room at night. But we do have one of those remote light switch that turns off the overhead lights so I don't have to get out of bed if I am about to fall asleep reading. I left it in our bed one night and my husband or I rolled on it and the lights came on suddenly in the middle of the night. What a surprise!!
ReplyDeleteSometimes on a rare occasion like last night I fell asleep around 9:00 pm and woke up refreshed at 4:00. No dreams either to annoy me. This is not normal, as I often wake up several times in the middle of the night. Which of course now I'll obsess over what I did or ate throughout the day that made the difference.
I think once upon a time I was a good sleeper, but it’s been years. That 3:00am wake up . . . I find it so hard to go back to sleep. And both of us leave our phones in another room., so go figure.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, my doctor said once you've hit menopause, sleep becomes A Thing. No matter what I do, my Fitbit tells me I spend around 15% of my night awake. I generally get a full night's rest, but that's because I can give myself extra time - I allot up to 10 hours for "sleeping."
DeleteLifelong insomniac here, and so envious of people like you, Jenn! My husband and my mother can both fall asleep anywhere, in any position, in any noise level. And then complain that they couldn't sleep. Insert eyeroll here. Meanwhile, I'm tossing like a salad all night long.
ReplyDeleteMy phone goes to "Do not disturb" if I turn it facedown at night. You might check if that's possible for you. There is no other way to get in touch with us at night in an emergency, because I have our landline forwarded to my cell number, and that worries me a little bit. My mom is 93, after all. Two of my children live in very different time zones, too--one seven hours behind, the other three hours ahead--and they often send messages that would wake me in the middle of the night. I had to figure out a way to stop the pings and vibrations, etc. to save my sanity.
When we stayed at my daughter's a couple weeks ago I actually wore my noise-canceling headphones to bed. Their two big dogs make such a racket at night, and there were seven of us in the house. It made a huge difference. I've also found that a half of a THC gummy will help me get to sleep and stay asleep, better than any PM product, or melatonin, or even a sleeping pill. And the current bonus is it both helps my back pain, and dries up my sinuses, so it's helping with the severe allergies this summer. (My doctor approved them, originally for my tremors.)
Karen, I have an Android, so it may be different for an iPhone, but it lets me designate certain people to "break through" sleep mode. Of course, my kids are all in the same time zone and aren't night owls, so even that might not help if one of yours is texting in the middle of the night...
DeleteMine is also Android. Thanks, Julia. I'll investigate how to designate a Do Not Disturb burglar!
DeleteWhat did we do before cell phones to fall asleep with to wake us up throughout the night?
ReplyDeleteBabies. Or at least that's my answer. Years of interrupted sleep.
DeleteAh yes!
DeleteHallie, that's why I have no shame about sleeping until 9am now. Years of waking up before dawn for babies, then active toddlers, then getting kids ready for school when they had to be out of the house by 6:30am. I figure I've got 26 years of sleep to catch up on.
DeleteFor years our home phone number was one digit off from the local "one too many" insurance broker. Drunks used their one phone call... to an irate ME in the middle of the night, mostly on weekends.
DeleteOh, I can also recommend having a Shih Tzu snuggled up next to you in bed. Very soothing!
ReplyDeletea Havanese works well too Julia:)
DeleteGreat topic, and it looks like most people have dealt with versions of it. For me, it was almost life-altering when I figured out how to schedule my phone to go into sleep mode on a fixed schedule. My son, husband, and sister can still get through to me but Amber alerts, app notifications, and random phone calls cannot.
ReplyDeleteI have always been a good sleeper -- especially good at falling asleep initially. That part is unchanged. But as I have gotten older I do find myself occasionally lying awake in the wee hours for no particular reason. Thus doing everything I can to minimize sleep interruptions has grown much more important!
I have chronic insomnia. And I have a Fitbit watch to track how poorly I sleep, which I've decided isn't really helpful. I have my phone set on do-not-disturb during our regular sleeping hours, but a few alerts do sneak through.
ReplyDeleteOh no Annette, I don't want a device confirming how badly I sleep--I know all about it!
DeleteNot a fan of the Apple Watch. When I travelled to England in 1990, I met a British friend who had this pager watch with the clock face and one line for messages. I like that better than the Apple Watch. Never found a watch like the watch that my friend in England had. Even when I visited Switzerland in the 21st century, I never found a watch like that.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of sleeping, I think perhaps I need to change some habits like less caffeine. As I get older, my body does not seem to tolerate caffeine well? Not sleeping well these days. I think it is just a phrase. I try to get 7 to 8 hours of sleep. Sometimes I succeed.
Diana
ANd how about when for some mysterious reason, the light on your phone just...comes on? I wake up at that, too. Once I woke up thinking there was a fire--I smelled fire! But there was absolutely no fire. The next day, I found (seeing the rubble and etc), that a house two blocks away had burned to the ground.
ReplyDeleteOh wow Hank, that's spooky! If I put my phone face down, the light doesn't bother me.
DeleteI have struggled with insomnia for most of my life. I have to work at getting a good nights sleep and if I wake up, it takes a long time to fall back to sleep. Rest is so important and essential to good health, so I try all the tricks. Sadly, it doesn’t stop my husband’s iPhone from announcing potential storms or impending bad weather. Grrrr…
ReplyDeleteI have none of those smart devices, and turn off all devices at bedtime. "When I sleep, they sleep," made the Apple Creative smile, but I don't want to even think about them. I banished clocks to the bathroom in favor of a dark room for sleeping, and the CPAP and adjustable bed have helped (and less-suspenseful books at bedtime). Sweet dreams, friends. <3
ReplyDeleteStoryteller Mary
Mary, I think I need to switch my bedtime reading, too. Not because the suspenseful books necessarily keep me awake, but rather they influence my dreams. I have begun having very vivid dreams and I am frequently running from a bad guy or similar situation. The problem is that I wake up thinking it was real and remember it for half the day, looking at people suspiciously!
DeleteLucy, I had to laugh at your husband's phone recommending a brisk walk at 2 a.m. My phone is always on silent at night (which means that it's often on silent for half the next day since I forget to turn the sound back on in the morning, but who cares? We still have a landline, so if it the message is important, I assume I'll get a call on that. I also charge my phone as far away from our bedroom as possible, just in case. I've had to work on him, but now my husband's phone's pings and chirps and other odd noises are also off at night. I sometimes make the mistake of watching an exciting movie until 11 p.m., which means I can forget about falling asleep right away. Still, that's my fault, not my phone's fault!
ReplyDeleteMy problem is getting to sleep. Once I do, I sleep like the dead. My phone dings only for texts and DMs. So I don't get many of those at night. I've started putting my iphone on its face because it lights up like a beacon in the night every time an email arrives. My husband gave me a CD to put on that is supposed to help you sleep. All it did was alert my brain to wake up to listen to it. Melatonin never worked for me either. I'll have to investigate Karen's success with a TCH gummy.
ReplyDeleteA half a gummie works for me!
Delete