JENN MCKINLAY: Many, many years ago, the Hub and I were gifted dinner at Monti’s, a famous steakhouse on Tempe’s Mill Avenue back in the day. Our first anniversary was coming up so we decided to blow out the gift card on that night.
Everything was magical. Dinner was amazing. We’d recently found out we were going to be parents. It was all lovely and then I said to the Hub, “We should discuss our five-year-plan.” He looked at me as if I just started speaking Greek and then dabbed his mouth with his napkin and replied, “I’m more of a seat of the pants sort of guy.”
WHAT?! I was shocked. In the year and a half we’d been dating and the year we’d been married, I had never noticed that I had committed my life to a person WHO DID NOT HAVE A FIVE YEAR PLAN! Meanwhile he had never noticed that he lived with a person WHO ALWAYS HAD A PLAN, A BACKUP PLAN, AND AN IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS PLAN. Neither of us spoke for the rest of the meal.
Now as we creep up on our twenty-fifth (Gah!) wedding anniversary this spring, I realize we were both right. It’s important to have a plan but it’s equally important to be flexible, which is much like being a plotter or a pantser as a writer, I think. Looking back, I was not a plotter at the time of this dinner but I became one a few years later. So, now I’m wondering if there is a correlation between our personal lives and our writing style.
I am a plotter in life and on the page, how about you Reds?
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Hmm. No plan. I think if I plan, it won’t happen that way anyway, so… waste of time. I have shorter-term deadlines and goals, and an idea for something that has to happen two years from now, but that's only one thing. But oh, I make lists like mad, as you know.. But there’s no five-years-away list.
Does “someday we’ll have to clean out the basement again” count?
HOWEVER I am nudging Jonathan to add his numbers to our little book of account numbers and passwords because THAT kind of administrative planning seems wise. And we do have a financial planner.
I’m so interested, though, Jenn, to know what your plan entails. Was being a WILD success part of it? Because you are. And how did you PLAN for that? (Asking for a pal…)
HALLIE EPHRON: I am definitely a planner. The busier I am, the more I need lists… if only I can remember where I put them.
My favorite thing are spreadsheets that tell you “if you keep doing what you’re doing, this will happen.” Pretty important if you want to ride through retirement in the style to which you have become accustomed.
There were things I didn’t have a chance of doing (emptying the basement) when Jerry was here. Now I’m happy with my empty basement but I’d be happier to have Jerry here to complain to about an overstuffed one.
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Same here, Hallie, except for me it's the barn Ross would not stop throwing things into "just in case we need them." Sigh.
RHYS BOWEN: it’s funny, but in my writing life, I am a pantser. I don’t like to plan ahead too far. I have a vague idea where I’m going, but I like to be free to takeoff when a brilliant idea comes to me. In real life I have to have something to look forward to, and to know what’s going to happen. I do make lists. I like to plan vacations and special occasions and then savor them.
I have a special book that I take out on January 1 every year and I write my plans for the year in it and the next January 1 I go through and see which plans succeeded in which didn’t and why.
(I did write “write a bestseller” long ago. That turned out pretty well)
In my financial life I am meticulous in planning. Luckily so is John. He calculated how to pay off the house before he retired.
We have a living trust, a financial planner etc. I don’t like to worry and certainly not take risks
DEBORAH CROMBIE: I am more or less a plotter when it comes to books. Life, not so much. I'm big on the immediate planning, lists and calendars and to-dos. But I have trouble planning big things more than a few months ahead, and even the words FIVE YEAR PLAN make me feel panicked. I think I'm afraid I'll jinx myself.
LUCY BURDETTE: I wish I’d been more of the planner you are Jenn! For vacations, I have a pal who plans out where she wants to go years in advance. I like to wait and see what comes up and THEN plan like mad.
But I’m definitely half-**sed with my writing life. I should set more goals because then my brain will know to work toward them. I think I’ll try that this new year, make my intentions and hopes very very clear so the Universe can help:).
JULIA: So I am very much NOT a planner, either for writing or for life, but I'm working on changing myself. Mostly because I've learned it was fine if I was being all "la-la-la" and skipping down the path to who-knows-where when I had a super organized partner (except for the above-mentioned barn) looking out for me. It's not nearly as much fun to live a spontaneous life when you have no guardrails.
So this past year, I've been using an outline while writing the next book. And this coming year, I'm going to channel Rhys and Jenn and set down some goals and then plan for them. Because I know goals have to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound if I want them to happen. (Thanks, Celia!)
I'm reasonably good at some short-term planning, but not much at all for something like a five-year plan . . . .
ReplyDeleteFive years does feel like more of a reach these days.
DeleteI'm a planner, but five years is too far for me to think about
ReplyDeleteI think the last few years have dialed me back to a three year plan max.
DeleteI love hearing all these differences - and similarities! In life I am very much a planner, for next week and the year to come. I want to reserve that condo in Maine, book my flights, plan the conference trips. But at my age, five years ahead looks a lot foggier and unknown than it used to. (Thanks for the reminders about cleaning out the basement - ugh.) We did our estate planning and got our ducks in a row a few years ago, so at least that part's done.
ReplyDeleteBy nature I'm a complete pantser in my writing, but that synopsis my editor asks for before I start each book has made me a teensy bit of a planner. The plot's never as long and detailed as he would like, but it does give me a vague sense of direction, from which I freely swerve.
Must have the ability to swerve as creativity demands, for sure.
DeleteI'm good at planning trips and finding good deals but other than that we are retired and try not to plan just go with the flow. Go out on the boat when the weather is nice. I do wish my husband would get my boxes out of the shed for me so that I can go through them. I am missing some things from when we moved and I just know they are in those boxes.
ReplyDeleteI have things in storage from a move 24 years ago - time to clean it out - plus, I want my stuff. Maybe.
DeleteI figure if you haven't missed it in 24 years... Unless there is a fabulous unpublished novel in there somewhere!
DeleteYes, I am a PLANNER in most things in life.
ReplyDeleteI planned on a career with the Canadian federal government so I could get a decent salary, good pension & benefits. For many years, I worked on both single- and multi-year climate change research projects each fiscal year. These projects all had different deadlines, teams, travel & other expenses which had to be managed. I could not foresee some pantsing behaviour by accepting several multi-year assignments & moving to different cities at short notice. The last change occurred when I accepted the job of strategic planner at a 24/7 water monitoring directorate of 900 staff & had to move to Ottawa in 6 weeks (on January 1). I really had to test my planning chops in this stressful, rewarding job for 3 years but it was worth it.
And like RHYS, I am a planner of my personal finances since I have lived on my own since the age of 19. My late dad taught me how to be frugal & I lived with almost zero debt most of my life. I have a professional financial planner since my 30s & now have a strategic trust & will in place.
See? There is so much peace of mind in having a plan. I feel calmer just reading your post.
DeleteSure, but I never had a 5-year life plan. It was more like a 1-3 year plan with unexpected pantser & pandemic pivots along the way.
DeleteI am a planner for sure! I will set up a dream board in January for 1 year and 5 years out. We accomplished our last 5 year board in 2022 and didn’t make one in 2023 because… well, 3 years of Covid while working in the hospital just didn’t give me much energy to plan anything. But we are back and ready to start over! We hang our dream boards somewhere very visible and I find myself explaining them to company, which they usually find very interesting.
ReplyDeleteI love the dream board idea. Do you cut things out of magazines etc to paste on the board or is it all words?
DeleteDream board! Yes, yes, yes. I've never done one but I think I'm going to do one this year. Eeep!!!
DeleteThe one time I made a dream board every "goal" on it became reality. Some much more quickly than others.
DeleteI'm a disorganized planner. Example: I outlined my current book in progress only to have the entire plot explode about 1/3 of the way through. I think I have it fixed now. As for life, I'm more of a scheduler than a planner, using deadlines or major life events as guidelines for where I need to be and what I need to have done by certain points on the calendar. But when I have one of those life events, I plan the thing to death!
ReplyDeleteMy husband is like Jenn's. Totally seat of the pants. His retirement is looming in the coming year, but I can't get him to pin down when that will happen or if he's going to continue to work parttime. I "plan" to talk to him about making a "plan" over this New Year's weekend. Wish me luck!
good luck Annette:)
DeleteThanks, Lucy!
DeleteYeah, Hub's retirement is a decade away so I'm spared that convo for a bit.
DeleteIt will work out, Annette. My husband had a hard time accepting retirement as a concept, but he's embraced a compromise of working on one small aspect of his formerly very complicated business. Just photographing birdfeeders in the yard keeps him busy enough, without being too stressful to plan trips, etc. I suspect Ray will figure out his own way forward, too.
DeleteI hope so, Karen. He used to be quite a talented photographer. Maybe I should dust off my Nikon and hand it over to him!
DeleteI blithely got thru life with few plans. This works well for me because Julie plans everything completely. When we travel, she has an itinerary for each day plus an alternate plan. And for each permutation we there are listed three places for lunch and dinner, depending on what we might be in the mood for. It’s a big spread sheet. However she regards the items as suggestions only. So we frequently go off piste as the occasion arises.
ReplyDeleteI don’t plan for much of anything. Not even what’s for dinner much before mid afternoon, therefore we have a well stocked pantry and freezer
Five year plan? I don’t even buy green bananas!
All my bananas are green. Very annoying when I want a ripe one. LOL. Julie and I are kindred spirits.
DeleteI love your description of Julie’s travel planning. I have tried to be more like that and not fall too in love with the perfect places I find when planning. Off piste can be fun!
DeleteLisa, I lived in Long Beach in the 80s and early 90s, Belmont Shore. I still miss looking out my window to the ocean.
DeleteI'm a seat of the pants guy for some stuff and a planner for others. I need to do more planning in terms of life stuff though because that's going to bite me in the butt if I don't get on it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm a scheduler for things like monthly bills. You know, this bill gets paid this week, that bill gets paid on this week, etc.
Yup. That life stuff forces the issue.
DeleteIn life, I'm more of a scheduler than a planner, and not too far in advance. (More like day to day) My husband is the one who pins down the details. (Example: if we plan a trip, he starts counting backwards where we need to be or what we need to do when, in order to leave by taxi for the station or airport on time.) After 50 years, some of that has rubbed off, but not a lot.
ReplyDeleteIn writing I'm totally a pantster. I tried once to plot a novel and then was too bored to write it.
I love the idea of a dream board. Actually I like the IDEA of plotting and planning, too, but do I do either? Nope.
Dream board! I've never done one but am really considering it. I have so many things on my bucket list - must start chipping away at it.
DeleteVery interesting, Jenn! Although I didn't exactly use the term years ago, I did sorta know where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do within the next few years. That was great while in my early twenties, but I never gave a thought to what was beyond that. I did achieve that plan but then had nothing else, which turned out to not be good for going forward. Just drifting along is not a good plan at all.
ReplyDeleteNow that I am old(er) I plan short-term just because I like to know what I will be doing within the next few days and I really don't like it at all when someone else disrupts those plans. But when it comes to finances I am very organized, with expenses planned out. And I have pages and pages written of Final Instructions, which I update more or less twice a year.
Yes, financial planning is critical even if you're a pantser - Hub is still working to embrace that philosophy.
DeleteOh, boy this is an interesting one to me.
ReplyDeleteI actually have evolved a lot as I've gotten older. I was definitely a seat of the pants person for the first half of my life. I think some of it I was always moving. I just internalized this idea that it was pointless to look too far ahead.
So I continued on my seat of the pants way for quite some time, but life happened. I took on more responsibilities (work, kids, house) and I've slowly become more of a planner. I married a definite non planner so I *had* to take on planning (a definite sore spot for me!) . I think also the pandemic lockdown made me weirdly more of a planner? I gravitated towards finding things I *could* control and planning them to avoid the feeling of drifting through my day with nothing to show for it. Just my personal experience, different for everyone I know.
I now get very nerdy about my planner and to do lists, but it is in the name of avoiding overscheduling and overdoing. And I'm willing to walk away and take a break from it if I need some time to relax and just be. Like right now my planner and notebooks are resting ;-) until new year.
I could go on (see above about nerding out about planners), but I'll spare everyone. Five years is still a little far for me, but I do like making shorter plans- a year, a quarter, a month, and I really love writing down my combo to do list/schedule every day. It's very messy, but it works for me.
I'm the Post-It queen. My desk is littered with sticky to-do notes to self. I need a better system.
Delete2024 will be crazy, particularly planning a long weekend with three kids, two with spouses, one with a grandchild, under the same roof. Big anniversary and college reunion year. And a book to write and how I'm wishing for Hallie's basement guys to do their thing in my house. I do set writing goals (weekly, monthly, quarterly) and I will be hitting the gym in anticipation of the college reunion.
ReplyDeleteGo, girl! 2024 does look to an impressively active year. Let's do this!
DeleteJulia – that barn that Ross would not stop throwing things into lives on in our house, except that we moved all that good stuff (junk) with us, and have since added to it, with more good stuff, my father’s good stuff – rusty screws anyone, and a perfectly good dead motorcycle in pieces – “going to fix it, soon”.
ReplyDeleteI don’t have a 5-year plan, and tend to go from this to that. That does not mean I am flighty, but just can turn on a dime. In the morning the question would be “what’s for supper” – “chicken” and then lo and behold there is fish on the plate, all because in going to invite the chicken to supper, I met a fish, or read about a fish, or suddenly didn’t want chicken – whatever. Fish it is.
When we were young and probably foolish, we both decided to farm on the side. This was fine as I loved it, but he who Harrumphs got bored. He was always asking me “what is your 5-year plan?” It made me so mad, as he was doing carpentry, with not even a plan to bill someone that week!
We both can change our mind, and although I wish that he could commit to something or some date, or even a ‘possibly’, so that I could make a few plans, I like being able to be flexible. In times of crisis, it is a necessary as last year when we got a call that his sister was dying. In 30 mins I had the animals looked after, a place to stay and we were in the car. It also applies to happiness when on a boat trip, I was in charge of my father, and we asked for and got a pur of the moment zodiac trip to the mouth of the harbour, where a whale breeches right in front of us. My father was ecstatic. I think that is currently called pivoting.
Besides, being flexible infuriates my pedantic sister when she thinks that anything we say is carved in stone, and she comes to supper expecting chicken and gets fish! Winner!!!
I am dying! That is the best answer I have ever read to the plotter/pantser debate and, yes, flexibility is the secret to happiness, I am convinced of this besides fish is better for you than chicken. :)
DeleteI'm a big believer in flexibility, a trait that was encouraged by my mother, who spent the first 14 years of my life picking up stakes and moving hither and thither as a military wife.
DeleteAnd Margo, the trouble with any space - barns and otherwise - is that the STUFF expands to fill the walls.
Oh, man, that stuff-too-good-to-toss thing resonates. We have two garages, half a basement here, a whole basement at the farm, plus three barns' worth of stuff that falls into that category. Apparently.
DeleteI pity our kids if he is the last to die (if me, I will hire a dumpster...), there will be soooo much to clean out the garage - none of it heirlooms!
DeleteAs a lifelong saver, I found THE SWEDISH ART OF DEATH CLEANING to be very helpful in letting go.
DeleteI missed the combination of the two "plantser" which I think I am becoming. In my current WIP, I only plotted to the halfway point and I have to say the mad dash to my deadline has been quite a ride! I didn't even know who the killer was until yesterday. THE MADNESS! LOL. I think I'm turning into Rhys - who is more of a planster, I think.
ReplyDeletePlanning and scheduling are two different things… That is very profound and very true.. Absolutely. I am a massive scheduler. Massive. Even within a day. I am superly scheduled. And I think that makes things so much more fun! Because I am never anxious about whether I will have time to do something. Of course, scheduling means I realize when I DON’T have time to do it! But at least I know :-)
ReplyDeleteHANK: I definitely agree with you about planning vs. scheduling. For my last job as strategic planner, I had to schedule all my work-time in 15-minute intervals. Crazy system! But it was the type of job where I had to juggling multiple items & had to schedule appropriate time slots.
DeleteMy son-in-law is an attorney, and he is the one who acts as the Field Marshall for their family, with his long experience in time management in ten-minute intervals. My daughter is the general who barks the orders that he manages! It's hilarious.
DeleteGRACE: At my job, I was also completely schedule driven. In retirement, I have learned that I also need to tell my husband things, not just say, “but it was on the calendar, I assumed you were looking.”
DeleteLISA: Yes, I understand that schedule driven system is common in government jobs. But it took me a while to adjust to it after working 20+ years in a government research position. There, I was left alone to managed my own time with little accountability except planning for big milestones & deliverables on a quarterly/semi-annual/annual basis for me and my team members on each project.
DeleteLOL - so much stoney silence. Now we either talk a situation TO DEATH or get bored and quickly move on. Shortness cometh, although Hub is getting shorter faster than me.
ReplyDeleteFive Year Plan sounds wonderful, if only I could do that. I am better at planning for the year than for five years ahead because I never know where I will be in five years. Love Rhys' idea of writing out a plan on January 1st.
ReplyDeleteIn the last TEN years, I always say by this time next year I will have rid of all the clutter in my residence. I have too many books. I have college papers. I have a collection of vital papers that I need to keep. It is a case of "separating the wheat from the chaff".
As a new author, writing my first Novel in progress, I am still learning which writing style works for me and still figuring out what works for me. I always loved writing. I remember writing stories when I was a young child.
As Hank said, scheduling is very profound. When I was at Uni and early in my career, I learned that I had to schedule as far as possible in advance, especially when I needed accommodations. For example, if I had my schedule of classes for the next semester at Uni, then I had to put in request for Sign Language interpreters. In the working world, I learned that Sign Language interpreters had to be scheduled as early as possible.
Which is Why I was so surprised that my dear friends in San Diego were able to get Sign Language interpreters for Bouchercon at last minute notice! I always Request interpreters as early as possible and the contact person does not always get back to me in time. I'm concerned that I May have to CANCEL my Bouchercon reservation in Nashville because I sent a Request two months ago and I got a email that my email has been BLOCKED! We will see what happens.
Wow! This was a longer comment than I planned this morning!
Diana
I am delighted that they were able to accommodate your request at Bouchercon. I hope the Nashville one comes through for you, too. I can't imagine why your email would be blocked. Hmm.
DeleteThank you, Jenn. I'm glad too. First time ever to see Sign Language interpreters at Bouchercon. Hope the Nashville one comes through. There will be a Bouchercon in Washington DC years from now so I definitely plan to be there.
DeleteDiana
That's interesting Diana. The federal government requires (by law) to provide accommodations to those with disabilities. I am surprised if you request such services and they aren't provided - such as the Nashville Bouchercon.
DeleteDiana, I am concerned that your one request was not received. I cannot imagine how frustrating it will be if you arrive and don't have the Sign Language Interpreter you need in order to enjoy the conference. Contact the Bouchercon planners again!! And again if you have to.
DeleteJudy, I wish I knew how to contact the Bouchercon planners since the email I sent to the contact person who is SUPPOSED to help with Access Issues blocked my email. On FB, they asked us to write "I need a Scooter" in the Subject Line. I wrote "I need Sign Language Interpreters" in the Subject line and that got blocked! Thank you for your support.
DeleteDiana
Love reading these comments! I'm a pantster in life and writing. I make annual goals, and then wing it. Here's what's funny. I recently uncovered thirty years of journals. In one I made meticulous five year goals. Now, I haven't thought about that journal, or those goals in probably 25 years. Imagine my surprise when I discovered most had been attained. The universe, it seems, sees to the things we don't.
ReplyDeleteDiana here: Wonderful idea to write in a journal. When I first lost my hearing, I remember writing a daily journal with my father while my mom was cooking dinner. I started writing again in my journal because so many things are happening!
DeleteHappy New Year, Kait!
I happened to spend the night at Celia and Victor's house (with the boys, of course) and this morning we're going to have a Come to Jesus meeting about planning my upcoming year, so this blog couldn't be more perfectly timed!
ReplyDeleteOh, good for you, Julia!! (I need a Celia!)
DeleteUh-oh, Julia, that sounds serious!
ReplyDeleteFive years is a long time to plan anything, for me. I'm married to a plodder, who has his own goals and plods towards them inexorably, but he never shares those goals with his wife. So I make goals and pester him mercilessly until he agrees to slot them into his own mysterious plans. Forty-two years of marriage has taught me that he will never willingly spend a nickel, but once it's spent he will agree it was worthwhile. That's how we got pregnant with our first child, added on to our former home, built a new home, and are now finally finishing the basement (which is also an excellent way to clean and organize that space, which really needed it).
We were 30 and 32 when we got married, and although he wanted children "someday", he wasn't thinking it through, in denial that he was already getting older. It took me a couple years to convince him that MY window of opportunity in that regard was finite.
So I'm sort of goal-oriented, but exhausted by all the effort it takes to realize said goals. Now I'm just as happy to live in the moment!
Karen, your description of your husband had me choking on my soup. Happy New Year, my friend! May all your 2024 plans be accomplished in good health and with much happiness!
DeleteHA HA HA! I know that man! I swear there is a plodder in every marriage. It might be me. LOL.
DeleteThank you, dear Judy, and the same to you!
DeleteThe very worst question I was ever asked at an interview was, "Where do you see yourself in five years? What about 10 years?" I had to be honest and say, "Not here because hopefully by then I'll be writing fiction full time."
ReplyDeleteYeah, that didn't happen. But honestly, I rarely know what's going to happen five minutes from now. Five years? You've got to be kidding me.
The only part of my life that's planned was financial planning. Which, considering it turned out well, should inspire me. But it doesn't. This year, I just want to get my will, which was done 23 years ago, updated.
Ah, yes, the will. It's on my to do as well.
DeleteMine, too!! Ack.
DeleteSpecific event planner… I don’t travel much, but when I do, flight booked at least a month in advance, hotel reservation ditto, limo to/from airport at least two weeks. But Life nope…decided to go to law school in the middle of a job interview (turned the offer down), decided to move from east coast to west coast in just a few days and back on an equally short time line.(Except for financial and estate planning) Never had a five year plan, since I finished college. Now in my late 70s five years is way to far into the future…Happy New Year,Planners and Pantsers. Elisabeth
ReplyDeleteI think your way is very courageous, Elisabeth!
DeleteFavorite Dad quote “ Brave or crazy.” Thanks, Jenn. Elisabeth
DeleteNo matter if "shortness cometh" Jenn - you will still be taller than the average person! That's a good thing!
ReplyDeleteIn my late 20s I had a boss with a clean desk and a 5-year plan. He wanted to be head of the division handling real estate development with the City, and he got there and retired from that position.
ReplyDeleteI had a messy desk and no plan for the future . . . and I ended up exceeding my wildest expectations. Perhaps it was that working in municipal government provided enough structure - every few years, you take a civil service exam for a promotion, and you either do well or not, the City is either growing or in a hiring freeze, you either match well with openings or not. I was willing to go with the flow, while doing what I needed to in order to improve my chances (studying for exams, volunteering for new experiences, etc. ). But if I hadn’t taken a few unplanned leaps between departments, or from engineering to finance, I doubt things would have turned out as well.
So either path can work depending on your personality, as long as you at least plan enough for retirement and don’t overplan the fun out of everything.
It is a balance for sure. Sounds like you nailed it.
DeleteNo planning ahead for me. I find that Life laughs at that. I tend to react to whatever is happening in our lives and make adjustments. My husband had his career goals so I didn't bother with any of my own, knowing they would clash. Now both of us are retired. I am living in a house of my choice in a setting of my choice and he is having to make the adjustments for now. Trying to plan for trips, even small ones, has to be last minute because we seem to be in the cycle of unexpected events happening to others but affecting us.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, the cycle of events is inescapable, but you played the long game and won. Bravo!
DeleteOh, thank you!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat tips, thank you!
ReplyDeleteOh dear Reds and friends here, you know that my life plans got destroyed when our son was murdered the end of last May. My plan had been to travel quite a lot, not necessarily always long trips. I also was planning on seeing about buying a second home where our son lived and letting him pay rent, but me having a room to stay in when I wanted. The latter plan is, of course, gone now. Travel is now dictated by trial dates of my son's murderer, and those are changed a lot, too, at least before the trial actually starts, which will probably be another year. So, we can only plan so much there. Of course, I say that, and we have a river cruise set up for the end of April and first part of May from Paris to Normandy (hopefully before the crowds for the 80th anniversary of D-Day arrive and before the Olympic crowds for Paris arrive. This was a trip that fell into our laps at the insistence of some friends.
ReplyDeletePlanner or seat-of-my pants on trips? More planner, but I'm willing to make a detour, especially if driving. But, I want my plane and hotel firmly set up early. I like to have an itinerary for each day, but a back-up one if the first isn't possible. We have three days in Paris before the river cruise, and I'm definitely making a plan for those days. Since it's my first trip to Paris, there are some things that are a must. If I go back more, I'd be willing to do a more relaxed trip. I'm hopefully going to feel like and be able schedule-wise to do Bouchercon in Nashville. It's only a little over two hours from where I live, so I'll drive. I've registered and have my hotel room.
This year, life has taught me that you can never anticipate everything in making plans. Tragedy has its own schedule that can wreck all those plans and spreadsheets and lists in a minute. But, on the optimistic side, you should still plan.
Kathy, there is nothing harder than losing a child. Ones life and hopes and plans change in an instant. This will be your hardest year, the year of firsts. Next year things will be different, not better — but different.
DeleteI have been to Paris quite a few times. Let’s me know if you want some tips. You will have a splendid time either way.
Much love
Ann, you have been so sweet to me during this horrible time. I thank you so much. Please do send me some of your favorite things to do or see in Paris and some tips. My email is Kathy502@aol.com
DeleteI've never been to Paris, Kathy, but I can offer one tip--savor the small moments of your time there.
DeleteSending you much love, Kathy. I can't even imagine the strength it takes every day to confront such a tragedy. I hope Paris is a wonderful experience for you. I highly recommend fast tracking the Eiffel Tower and having a glass of champagne at the bar at the top. So worth it.
DeleteI hope you enjoy your river cruise. We have loved the ones that we have done.
DeleteThe only real long term goal I finally set was retirement. When I reached 60 and had been with this company for fifteen years, I said I wanted to retire at 67. I almost threw that goal away this past year due to a new supervisor. He, thankfully, has left and I can continue with my retirement goals. Next goal is to set up my end of life items.
ReplyDeleteShort term - plan for my sister's and brother-in-law's birthdays in the late fall. This year is between his 65th and hers. I'm thinking 5 days at Yosemite. She hasn't been there.
Other than that, I sorta do little month at a time and half year planning at the most. I guess might make me a pantser with plotting tendencies.
HA HA HA! I love that: "A pantser with plotting tendencies"
DeleteThat is a perfect description. LOL.
DeleteI like to make plans and stick to schedules, but am also willing to adapt. Not for years, but daily, weekly or monthly. I find that I'm more comfortable having a plan and then changing it than having a blank space in my time. I think being retired and alone makes my schedule more important. I remember when I was a kid, our family sat on the front porch watching the traffic. We spent a long time watching a spider catch bugs on the light pole.
ReplyDeleteSome of my best memories are from just sitting and watching the world go by. It should be on every schedule ;-)
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