Friday, March 8, 2024

'Fessing up to NEVER... until now

THE 3 WINNERS OF ARCS of Liz Milliron's The Secrets We Keep are (tah dah!) KAREN IN OHIO, TRAVELER, and WESKI! Please each of you contact Liz (mary@marysuttonauthor.com) with the address to which you'd likke her to mail your copy (in the US).


HALLIE EPHRON: When I read Jenn’s Facebook post about going to a rock concert featuring Brian Seltzer, I thought (not for the first time): "Brian who?" Not surprising since I’m of an, ahem, different generation.


But it surprises even me that I’ve never EVER been to a rock concert, unless you count seeing a Joan Baez in a 1963 concert with a guest appearance by her friend, a then relatively unknown Bob Dylan (I thought he was awful, prescient being that I am). 

Last year, Oprah published a list of “never have I ever” prompts. Here are a half dozen of my favorites…

Never have I ever…
1. played hooky from school or work
2. stolen anything
3. missed a flight
4. ridden a motorcycle
5. been on a blind date
6. gotten a tattoo

(I’m two for 6, but I'm not saying which, though I will tell you that my high school boyfriend drove a motorcycle and if I had a tattoo I'd never tell you what or where.)

So what have you NEVER that would surprise the rest of us?

JENN McKINLAY: I think people who know me are most surprised that I’ve never gotten a tattoo or been arrested (not issuing a challenge, Universe!). Honestly, I’m not that much of a wild child but back in the day…well…many bad decisions were made.

Otherwise, there isn’t much I haven’t done. No regrets!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Ah….eaten a baked bean? Had a massage? Are those surprising? I’ve never seen Beaches or Terms of Endearment or Steel Magnolias. I’ve never watched Schitt’s Creek. I have never read Persuasion. And of that list? I have not done 2 of them.

LUCY BURDETTE: No tattoo, no arrests. Many beans. Jenn and I can probably agree it’s a good thing we didn’t cross paths in our wild child years–bad decisions would have been made double time!

RHYS BOWEN: Never read Persuasion, Hank? I almost divorced John on the spot because he didn’t know who Jane Bennett was!

I’ve eaten many baked beans but I have to say the English Heinz beans are so much nicer than the US pork and beans. Never got a tattoo. Never will.

I was about to say I never played hooky from school but then I remembered my headmistress wouldn’t give me permission to have the day off to attend a ballet competition in London. So I faked a cold, went to London and… guess who got into the same compartment on the train? My headmistress. I had to hide behind a newspaper all the way.

I’ve never been on a blind date. There are loads of current musicians I’ve never heard of. Loads of famous books I’ve never read. But I was young in the swinging Sixties and dated a rock guitar player, hitchhiked around Europe, so I’ve had my moments…

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Copying Lucy on no arrests, no tattoos (although I have thought about it) and many beans! I have never been on a blind date. Otherwise, I was a bit of a wild child as a teenager so can't brag on the rest of the list.

I have never had an espresso martini! Still not convinced I should add that to my life list… Have never read Moby Dick, or War in Peace, or Lady Chatterly's Lover, and many other famous novels. But Persuasion! Hank! Maybe we should do a Jungle Red Book Club reading!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Of your faves, Hallie, never have I ever gone on a blind date or ridden a motorcycle (although I have a great picture of my mom, then in her mid-70s, riding on my brother Tim’s machine, so maybe never say never for that one.)

Of Oprah’s list, I’ve definitely never bribed someone, and I’m thinking how that would work in my life. Slip bookstore clerks a $20 to display my novels front and center?

Some of her questions are ambiguous, too, like “fallen asleep in public.” What counts as public? I mean, I’ve never taken a nap in a city park, but on the other hand, there are probably loads of people who have spotted me zonked out and drooling on flights, trains and buses.

My fave? “Never have I ever made up a story about someone who wasn’t real.” Girl, that’s how I make my living!

HALLIE: SO what have you never ever ever (until now) done that might surprise us?

84 comments:

  1. I can match most of all the "never have I" moments mentioned here: no tattoo, no arrests, no blind date, no riding a motorcycle, no skipping out on school [or work]. I wonder what that says about me?

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    1. It says you're a sweet person who follows the rules, but we already know and love you for that Joan!

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    2. Joan, I’ve never done any of the six things on that list! I’m the oldest of five and it was drilled into my head that I had to set a good example for the “little kids”. My sister who is closest in age to me, and I like to joke that we were the “perfect” children! The middle child of the five had a “difficult” relationship with traffic laws when he was in high school. And then became a slow driver for the rest of his life!
      Then there are the two youngest. They did things our parents never found out about! And they didn’t get it from me!

      DebRo

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    3. Thanks, Lucy and Hallie . . . .
      Deb, Jean and I are nine years older than our other sister and our brother so there was some of that example-setting in our family, too . . . .

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  2. I have no tattoos, no arrests, have never ridden a motorcycle, but I did meet my husband on a blind date. If it counts for more points, my parents met on a blind date, too. They were married for 50 years so I think it worked out okay for them. (We’re “only” at 33 so far…) — Pat S

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    1. My daughter informs me people do'n't go on blind dates so much any longer what with the dating apps... I was fixed up with my Jerry on a blind date. We were married 52 years, pretty smooth sailing after a rocky courtship.

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    2. Yes, my son met his bride through a dating app someway ironically named “Bumble”. — Pat S

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  3. No arrests - although I did steal a Hershey bar once as a kid and made myself sick, eating it. (It was a big one.) No blind dates, missed flights, or tattoos. No rock concerts, either, although my husband took me to a Joan Baez concert when we first started dating. We both liked folk. (Still do.)

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    1. I remember those gigantic bars... do they even exist any longer

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  4. Raising my hand as another wild young adult, but I remain tattoo-free, and that's all I'm saying about that list. Also have never read Persuasion or Moby Dick, or had an espresso martini, and I don't know who Brian Seltzer is, either. I've never worn heels higher than an inch, been up in the Empire State Building, or, well, the list could go on!

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    1. The only flight I missed was because I forgot to change the clock for the time change! I arrived an hour late...

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    2. Edith, your missed flights reminded me of an almost missed flight. I had visited my Sis in Law in England for a few days when my brother was in the hospital. When she drove me to the airport, we were pushing the clock, consulting our watches desperately, hoping to make it in time and arrived about five minutes late. (This was a small airport in Luton to catch the main flight later in Heathrow). While I was wondering mournfully what to do next, we saw by the airport clock that we weren't late at all. The time had changed the night before, and we hadn't reset our watches or her clock. So all ended well.

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    3. Edith, you DO need to get to the Empire State Building. And PHEW Elizabeth. I hate rushing to meet any kind of deadline.

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    4. Edith, we had to read Moby Dick for college prep English in high school and that was the most challenging novel I ever read until I tried to read Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel.

      Diana

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  5. Hmmmm
    No tattoos, arrests, or motorcycle rides.
    Does seeing Bette Middler in concert count as anything?
    The things I have done, legal or otherwise, are numerous. Use your imagination



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    1. I saw Bette in concert too, when I was in college. She was amazing then, and still is!

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  6. No tattoos, no arrests. Came of age in the '60's. 'Nuff said.
    Wait, wait! I too saw Joan Baez in concert. She had a friend with her who was so high and messed up, he could hardly climb up on the stage. He croaked out some songs while we all tittered behind our hands. So, it was Bob Dylan! My, my. I thought it was a false memory.

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  7. No tattoos, no arrest, no blind dates, no ride on motorcycle, no cutting classes. I never read Agatha Christie.

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    1. Whoa! Dru, really, no Dame Agatha from our biggest cozy mystery champion? I am stunned, LOL.

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    2. Dru Ann, never read Agatha Christie? That is a surprise for mystery lovers. Her books are one of life's absolute joys.

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    3. I have never read her books either, Dru.

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    4. I have read Agatha Christie and I do not like most of her books. Read only what you want to read and will enjoy.!

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    5. I AM GOBSMACKED!! I'd suggest you start with Roger Ackroyd but I know, dear Dru, that you TBR pile is probably teetering...

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    6. No Agatha Christie? Well, it's pretty awesome that you have those books to look forward to should you choose to read them :)

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    7. Wow. No Christie? That is amazing.

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    8. No Agatha in my reading past either.

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  8. Never been arrested, but I HAVE been in jail, thanks to citizens' police academies. No tattoos. I'm with Hank on having never read Persuasion or any number of the novels mentioned, sad to say. I have been on two blind dates, both memorable for bad reasons. (Suddenly getting ideas for a new novel.) I've been on a motorcycle, but they terrify me thanks to my years as an EMT, so never again.

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    1. Yes, motorcycle accidents can be ugly. My parents absolutely forbade me to ride on one with my boyfriend, so he'd pick me up a block away from my house and I'd walk over to meet him. Kids do what kids do.

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    2. Annette, I have never been to citizens' police academy. How does that work? Diana

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    3. Most larger cities offer them. They run weekly for anywhere from 8 to 16 weeks, depending on the city and give regular citizens an inside look at police work, from traffic stops to K9 to bomb disposal. I've done them with the Pittsburgh Bureau of Police, the Pennsylvania State Police, and the FBI.

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  9. I have ridden a motorcycle (exhilarating); have taken the occasional mental health day from work (is that like playing hooky?); and, on a dare with a pack of kids, did steal a candy bar from a convenience store (regret that); but never have I ever…missed a flight, been on a blind date or gotten a tattoo.

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    1. suddenly this morning reading these, I'm having flashbacks to TERRIBLE blind dates!

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    2. Boring blind dates for me, never terrible.

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  10. From HALLIE's list, I have never gotten a tattoo, but have done the other 5.
    No arrests!

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  11. Lynette Porter-TinnelMarch 8, 2024 at 7:45 AM

    Never skipped school

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    1. EVER? I did once on my 16th birthday to take my driver's test.

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  12. Of the list posted from Oprah, I've never stolen anything and never missed a flight. Until last November, I'd have said "never had a tattoo," but I got one for my 50th birthday after a Year from Hell. A dragon on my right shoulder.

    I rode a motorcycle - with my grandfather.

    Never been arrested, but have had a single speeding ticket. When I was 20.

    I had to read all the classics in college. English major here. But until recently, never had I ever read DRACULA, which I actually enjoyed.

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    1. I should say, "From Hallie's favorites from Oprah."

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    2. Dracula is pretty great. YOU HAVE A TATTOO???!!!!

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    3. By "tattoo", do you mean "permanent eyeliner" or body art? Diana

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    4. A dragon tattoo sounds amazing!

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    5. A real tattoo. Body art. For a picture, see my Instagram feed: https://www.instagram.com/p/C0FWnUlvT_q/?img_index=1

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  13. I never had my ears (or any other part of my anatomy) pierced. No tattoos, either.

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    1. No piercings here, either... and I confess I still find them distracting (one of my daughters has an "extra")

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  14. 1. Does skipping class in university count? 2. There has been the occasional big thing of paper towels on the bottom of my shopping cart, that I realized as I was loading it into the car than was missed during self-check-out – oops! Not feeling guilty enough to go back. 3. Only when booted off when flying stand-by, 4. Motorcycle – yup. Enjoyed it – nope! 5. Blind date – disastrous – 21 days later I got married – still am. He is still a 2/10 on the social score. He also had the motorcycle. Was I impressed – no. 6. Tattoo – nope – think they are gross. Hank, I agree with most of yours, but how could you not have eaten a baked bean? And yes Rhys, Heinz are the best, and a requirement for a full English.

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    1. You married after 21 days?!? No regrets, I hope...

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    2. Only in social situations!

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  15. Never have I ever...I've read a few chapters of Jane Austin's book (can't remember the title) and she is so popular I guess I just never got into it. Many of the great reads I haven't read (yet - there's hope so I'll say never say never), don't understand the hoopla around heavy metal music or tattoos, multiple piercings, so many of the must see movies - nada. No blind dates, rode on the back of a motorcycle and drove a dirt bike out in the desert and it was so much fun!

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    1. Oh gosh I wish I'd never read Jane Austen's Price & Prejudice - then I could read it for the first time again. (I've read it at least 4 times)

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    2. I must really read her work so many of friends who are wonderful judges of good reads have all praised her work.

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  16. Hallie my 10 year old granddaughter said she has a crush on Zac Ephron from the teen musicals. (Another one I've never seen or heard of). I wondered if he is related to your family.

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  17. True confession time on JRW! I’ve done all except get a tattoo.~Emily Dame

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  18. I can only cross one of those items off the list but there's still time to eliminate that one, too. :) As a flower child of the 60's I shudder at some of the chances I took although I never ever was a part of the drug scene. So I've never been "high". I've also never had a raw oyster or ate sauerkraut. Hank Phillippi Ryan's confession about never having a baked bean brought both a smile to my face and childhood memories of trying to swallow the Saturday night family ritual of baked beans and hot dogs served at our house each weekend. My gag reflux immediately kicked in even at the thought of getting one of those suckers down my throat...something about the texture of the bean was a real turnoff for me. Mom insisted that I eat them ("they're good for you") so I tried swallowing them whole which usually ended up with me in tears and being excused from the table. My Uncle Otto, peacemaker and jokester that he was, once put ONE baked bean on my plate, cut it into thirds and asked me if I could give it another try which somehow I managed to do although not happily. He managed to convince my mother that cutting a few beans into little bits was sufficient and every week he would put less and less on my plate until there were none. By then my mother had given up on forcing those damn baked beans on me. :) Years later we laughed about those bean scenes at the dinner table and she ended up spoiling me by cooking me a different meal when the dinner choices offered were not to my liking. God bless her; I still miss her so much. As for not knowing who Brian Setzer is you may be surprised to learn that he is no "spring chicken". He's 65 and has been part of the rock scene since 1980 when he was part of a group called "Stray Cats." (Music straight out of the 80's). But in fairness to all of you his style of music was very specific...rockabilly/swing...so unless you followed that type of music it's understandable why you would not know this musician. Quite frankly I can't even follow the Grammy Awards anymore and I love all types of music. Oh well... Cheers to Friday and to International Women's Day! ~ Evie

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    1. And ... do you eschew beans, even now?? (your mom sounds like a gem, ditto Uncle Otto!)

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    2. What a great choice of verb...Eschew! Yes...Decades later I still avoid the bean and see no chance of a future "chew". :) Thank you, Ms. Ephron for your compliment...I was indeed blessed to have these two special gems in my life. ~ Evie

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  19. Your next birthday! manicure, a pedicure or a massage

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  20. Congratulations to all of the winners of Liz's ARC novel! Hallie's story about Joan Baez concert reminds me of One Memory I have before I contacted meningitis and lost my hearing. It was about a month before I contacted pneumonia which progressed to meningitis (long story). My parents took me to a Joan Baez concert at the local University and I remember walking on the steps with my short legs (I was a toddler).

    Hank, I think you may love PERSUASION. If it is any consolation to you, I did Not read Persuasion until fairly recently. It is surprising with parents who are educators. Though I did read Shakespeare as a child.

    Have I never...? I never got a Tattoo and Never Will! I have never been married (perhaps someday I will?). I was going to say I have never been on the cover of a magazine, then I remembered that it actually happened twice ( a British magazine and a University Alumni magazine as a face in the crowd ). I have never competed in the Olympics. I have never been arrested. I never acted in a Movie nor a TV show, though I acted on stage in elementary school.

    Diana

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    1. Diana, love your answers - gives me a new level of understanding "Diana"

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  21. No tatoos but plenty of motorcycle rides--I loved it!

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  22. I think we have to have a Jungle Red book club to read Persuasion!

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    1. Yes! That would be fun to read Persuasion again. Diana

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  23. How does one handle Senior Cut Day in high school. I didn't drive in high school, took the bus to school. I think I got a ride for the half day off I took. I did ride on the back of motorcycle while we were at a family friends vineyard. I made my brother go nice and slow. No tattoos, I have enough lumps and bumps naturally, don't need to add more.

    Didn't miss a flight but did need to rearrange flights due to my local airport being shutdown due to wildfires when I was going to Bouchercon in Dallas.

    Blind date? Nope, but then not many dates either. I haven't read Persuasion, Moby Dick, War and Peace either... I have read Pride and Prejudice, Three Musketeers and Twenty Years After.

    I worked at a Count Basie concert in college and a Folk and Bluegrass festival. I heard Alison Krauss at that festival, when she was just starting.

    I have fired a revolver. Didn't like it. Much prefer the archery I did in PE at school.

    Okay, off to work. 😀

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    1. Reminding me, I LOVED archery, too. Did it at camp and college. Taught it at camp, too.

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  24. No arrests and I've never missed a flight. I've always thought I was kind of boring. But I've been to many a concert: rock, blues, jazz, hip hop, classical. I love live music - it gives me goosebumps! I have two concerts this summer that I'm super excited about - I fully plan on having to take the next day off of work! And my son and I have been doing movies at the orchestra, where the orchestra plays the music live. It's transformative. We've gone to all the Harry Potters - the last one is next winter just before he graduates high school and flies the coop!

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    1. For me, it's plays that give me goosebumps. Just watching the curtain go up and I tingle.

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  25. Such fun learning about everyone's checkered--and not so checkered--pasts!

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  26. Given my dysfunctional family life growing up, I'm surprised how many of these things I didn't do! I smile when I realize that living in or near New York City as a young (married) adult, I saw a lot of rock performances, but with the caveat that most were then young and unknown, doing gigs in the Village. One exception: the extraordinary Concert for Bangladesh, and more recently the Dixie Chicks. Yes to motorcycles, no to tattoos, yes to marching against the Vietnam War but without getting arrested, and yes to re- reading Persuasion and re-watching the perfect film version with Ciaran Hinds.

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    1. That's a pretty good scorecard. Clearly I'm going to have to read Persuasion since for the life of me I have no idea if I read it.

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  27. I’ve never done 4 of the 6 things on that list. I’m sure it would surprise no one that my siblings called me Goody Two Shoes. But did you know this history of the phrase : Generally considered to have originated with the title character in The History of Little Goody Two-Shoes by John Newbery (1765). However, it is known to have been in use at least a century before the book was published.
    Recently my adult daughter was surprised to find out that I have never had a mani or a pedi.

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  28. Espresso martinis are soooooooo good. You should have one, Debs!

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  29. Only two on the list that I've never done: gotten a tattoo or missed a flight. I think my son and my granddaughter have made up for me on the tattoo situation. I've had flights cancelled on me, but not missed. As for blind dates, they were the way to go when we were college freshmen. Someone in the dorm always needed girls for her boyfriend's buddies' dates to parties or football games. I met my future husband on a blind date. Still married.

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  30. I'm 1/6. Love any performance where the curtain goes up--concerts, theater, dance. Never a mani or pedi. Never read Persuasion, probably never will. Loved Stray Cats, but didn't know individual members of the group.

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  31. It's not what I haven't done--it's what I did. I went on one blind date, and reader: I married him. Lenita

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  32. I've missed many flights, but always because my first flight was late and I missed my connection, never because I overslept or got into a traffic jam. Here's a "never": I've never ever been to a horror movie and have no desire to go to one.

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  34. These "never have I ever" lists are so interesting to me because they bring back memories. Out of your list, Hallie, the one I haven't done is get a tattoo, but that will change, probably in the next year, as I will be getting one in memory of Kevin. The skipping class one was only in college. I skipped one of my education classes one day, but that was ok because our hippie professor had us all over for wine and cheese that weekend. I had to look at Oprah's list of 100, and they were fun and some memorable there, too. Never skinny dipped? Yes, I did with my husband in the early days. Blind date? Yes, I've been married to him for 47 years. Destination wedding? Yes, my daughter got married in Key West. Climbed out a window? Yes, when I was probably around ten or so, my sister Jerrye Jo decided to varnish the floor in our bedroom while my parents were gone, and we painted ourselves into a corner by a window, the only way out. Laughed so hard I peed my pants as an adult? That would be my mother in one of my most memorable trips to Cincinnati with her and my three siblings. We all got to laughing so hard about something outside of Shillito's (on the sidewalk) that my mother peed her pants, and even my mother still couldn't stop laughing. I wish I could remember what set us off. Saved a life? That would be my husband when he was stationed at the Pentagon. One of his favorite walks was along the C&O Canal Towpath. One day he came upon a woman screaming and looking over the edge at a part where there was a high rock descent to the water. Her toddler had fallen over the cliff area and was perched on a small ledge about halfway down. Philip was able to climb down to the toddler and bring him back up to safety. If the boy had fallen off that ledge the rest of the way down, he would most likely have died. Sleep paralysis? Oh, I used to have that a lot in my 20s and 30s. Sex on a beach? No, but does on a balcony overlooking a beach count? Road trip? The first year Philip and I were married we took a cross-country trip from Kentucky to Ft. Huachuca in Arizona. And, that seems like enough for now.

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  35. I was going to get a tattoo of the way Owen signed his initial, but then I didn't. Does Dion Warwick count as a rock concert back in the day? Does Sir Paul within the past 20 years? I did NOT skip out on my Barnard freshman hygiene class when JFK's motorcade rode by, and then it occurred to me that there were choices to be made in this life, and I cut classes and meetings with impunity after that. Sorry, not sorry. So far, haven't been arrested, but I'm pushing 80, so there may be time. But never have I ever read more than a page of Jane Austen's writing. My gag reflex is too strong. Again, sorry, not sorry. And I only do real (gin) martinis, very dry. Shaken, not stirred-- but with at least two olives.

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