HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Jonathan and I went to a black tie event the other night–a gorgeous fundraiser for the Boston Public Library. (Speakers included Heather Cox Richardson, Alison Bechtel, Stacy Schiff. Ooh.) Don't we look happy?
I am especially happy because I–maybe–am ALMOST finished with this round of edits.
My book is due in exactly 7 days. I sent in the first draft last month, at, ahem, 121,446 words.
That, darling ones, is, as they say in the biz: too long.
Well, they say a lot more than that, but ‘too long’ is the point. I do remember, back in the day, when I wrote my very first novel. The first draft of PRIME TIME was 723 pages. How many words is that? Calculating now.
Hey Siri, what is 250 times 723?
SIRI: 250 times 723 is 180,750.
HANK: Well that's pretty hilarious. And I remember, back then, 2005 it was, realizing that I had to cut 400 pages. And it was the most extraordinarily educational thing I've ever done. I cut everything that was repetitive, derivative, cliched, tangential, stuff where I was trying to be funny, and a lot of things where I was trying to be writerly. (That is always the kiss of death.)
But killing your darlings is a great thing. If those darlings are clogging my pacing, and keeping readers from the story, they are not my darlings, and I cut cut cut with mad passionate glee.
In writing a novel, though, I don't know what to cut until I've written the whole thing.
So, that’s what I've been doing for the past two weeks. Going through every word, every sentence, every paragraph, every scene, and asking myself: what work is this doing? Why do I have this? Is this advancing the story? Why would this make you turn the page? Why do you care?
As has been announced in Publishers Lunch, my new book is called ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS. It stars Tessa Callaway, a debut novelist with a surprise best-selling book. She's been sent on book tour by her happy publishers, only to discover she's being stalked by... someone. Someone who is out to ruin her career and destroy the family she's left back home --and it's all a result of a faustian bargain she didn't realize she'd made.
Great story, huh? When I wrote that little synopsis, I thought so too. Then all I had to do was figure out what it was.
Who is after Tessa, and why? Is there something wrong with her family? Her past, her book? Her publisher? Is it arrival author? A rabid fan?
Why do you think they call them fans? someone asks her. It comes from fanatic.
Ohh, Tessa says. I thought it was from fantastic.
It's very meta, as you can imagine, and quite hilarious to be on book tour while I was writing this. And anyone who's ever traveled, on book tour or not, will certainly relate to some of the situations Tessa encounters. Anyone who's ever flown, or raced through an airport, or battled with hotel air conditioning. And, most importantly, anyone who's ever been to an author event at a bookstore, or done research in a library.
And anyone who has ever tried to juggle a career and a personal life. Tessa realizes she's trying to be a mom to her kids via zoom. And she knows, because of her laptop discussions with her husband, that Henry has control of the zoom screen, and only allowing her to see the specific slivers of the world he wants her to see.
I finally figured out the story! Now. Cut cut cut.
And I have discovered kind of a secret for this last stage of editing. As I write, I begin to realize that I am using the same words again and again.
Tiny little words like... tiny. At least. Of course and you know and actually and certainly. And wow, people are pausing and smiling and shrugging and grinning like crazy. So I keep track of them, as I notice them, in a notebook.
Then, at the end of my draft, I have a page of those pet words. And it's so much fun to go through and do an edit-find for them, and cut cut cut.
But the cool part is that not only do I cut those words, but that every time I extract one, the entire sentence it was in gets rearranged. How do I say it in a cooler smarter better way, I ask myself. And sometimes the cooler smarter better way is to take out the sentence entirely.
I will confess to you I had said ‘of course’ 64 times. I mean, you know? (Oops. I had 32 ‘I means’ and 15 ‘you knows.’) When you are writing 1000 words a day or so, you forget the words you used the day before. And I don't worry about it as I go, I just write write write and have faith that I will take out the right words at the right time.
And sometimes, when the book turns to mush in my head, I just pick one of those pet words and search for it. And somehow (21) the Zen of the search gets me back into the book.
But it's the fun part, right? (I haven't counted the’ rights’ yet) . This is the time I get to carve away everything that isn't the book, and the book I meant to write is revealed.
Now I'm down to 100, 437 words. Yay me. And a week to go.
Do you notice, readers, when an author has repeated a word? There was one book I read, years ago, when the author used the word façade about 50 million times. Didn't anyone catch that, I wondered? I once got a note from an editor saying ‘please be aware of the use of the word flickered.’ Sure enough, I did an edit -find and everything was flickering: eyes, birds, monitors, video screens, digital clocks. Flicker flicker flicker.
Writers, do you have words that you constantly use? Whether they are things you don't even notice like just, or some word you've heard that you love, like... lattice, or convoluted, or imbroglio.
Tell us the words you notice in your own books, or in the ones you read.
And now I'm off to cut cut cut. I mean: cut.
(And because you will understand this: YAY. ONE WRONG WORD hardcover went into second printing, did I tell you? Yay. AND so did THE HOUSE GUEST trade paperback. And HER PERFECT LIFE trade paperback went into third printing! And yes, all because I cut cut cut.)
I would think that it would be incredibly hard to cut, cut, cut after you've written your book, Hank, but you make it sound like it's almost fun . . . .
ReplyDeleteSometimes I notice repeated words, but unless the author uses the same word a gazillion times, I'm much more likely to notice words that seem out of place or don't exactly fit the context of the sentence.
In any event, I'm looking forward to meeting Tessa . . . .
Isn’t it interesting? How once you notice, it just is so annoying? And you wonder why if we notice it, the editor didn’t…
DeleteAs hard as cutting can be, I'm sure you'll find that the end result is worth it.
ReplyDeleteI will sometimes notice a repeated word. But it is rare that I do. I guess that's a sign; most of the authors I read are good as culling out their repeated words.
I agree, I think it’s a similar process.There are some words we just don’t see. Like just :-)
DeleteIf I do notice a repeated word, it means it is on the same page, otherwise I don't.
ReplyDeleteOh, that’s so reassuring, because you are such a careful reader, Dru! Xxxx
DeleteI am such an opposite kind of writer. My first drafts are always too sparse, too short. But I do have a cutting phase. I swear in one book everyone was striding everywhere. Or blinking. Or blinking while they shrugged while striding! Gah.
ReplyDeleteI saw your pictures of the gala on Facebook. You both look extra glam! I'm such a fan girl of Heather Cox Richardson - how wonderful to hear her. Did you get a chance to chat with her, too?
She was great, but I did not make an effort to chat with her. I always think….those people would rather not be bothered. As for the cutting, yes, it is so interesting how some of us do it one way and some of us another. And how funny when we are in the position of thinking – – will they did look! They looked! What other word am I supposed to use? And gazing is not the same as looking. Often the answer is to take it out entirely.
DeleteLook is a regular word, one that people use in casual, everyday conversation. Gaze, view, and espy are not regular words. I’m not likely to notice repeated use of a regular word. Non-regular words not do much.
DeleteThat is absolutely brilliant. A genius observation. Invisible words. I’m really thinking about that now. Xx
DeleteOh my gosh, I have soooo many pet words that I overuse.
ReplyDeleteHank, the new book sounds amazing! Happy cutting!
DeleteIsn’t it hilarious when you start to see them?
Hank, love this blog! You two look amazing! I cannot conceive of writing a first draft that long. that's more than 2 of my books. My lovely and amazing (2) sister pointed out that people did a lot of trotting in my last book. And I did have an Amazon reviewer point out that I had an annoying tic of beginning sentences with And. And (2) you are so smart to ignore all that while you get the story down!
ReplyDeleteOh, starting sentences with end. I do that too! It seems like it keeps the flow together. And you can’t just take them out. It changes the rhythm—. I really think it does.
DeleteAnd sometimes it is just the right thing to use..
DeleteHa! I saw what you did there :-) and… “And”, I meant above. Xx
DeleteWhat a wonderful post. I look forward to this book! I have noticed that I consistently overuse the word "just." Sadly, not as injustice, but JUST as in "I'm just sitting here," etc. It is a tic I'm aware of but would have to cut later because it's embedded in the way I think. The word JUST flows out of me onto the page without my noticing. Augh!
ReplyDeleteOh, I so agree! Just is the devil. You type it without even knowing it, honestly, I don’t think I ever intentionally use that word. It just appears. See?
DeleteSo glam, Hank. You and Jonathan are made for black tie attire, my dear. My oldest daughter got to hear Heather Cox Richardson speak about her book in Traverse City a couple months ago (there's a very good speaker program there, with lots of nonfiction authors), and they bought her book for me as a gift.
ReplyDeleteYes, as a matter of fact, I do notice repeated words, and it can take me out of a story pretty quickly. I had to quit reading one very famous author because of this. She had dozens of published books by then, and it felt as if she was no longer having the oversight of good editors. I also used to edit the books of a friend who wrote men's adventure novels for hire. The first book edited by someone else included a chapter where every single item on the page was modified with the word "small": the small woman went to the small door in the small wall beside the small tree, and so on. Now that's sheer laziness. It's possible the author was using the word as a placeholder for later, but someone should have caught it. I felt bad for him, because it was the publisher's idea to switch copy editors.
Speaking of editing, one of my favorite writing books--and I'm sure some of my longtime friends here will laugh about Wordy McWordyperson here saying it's a favorite, is Write Tight, by William Brohaugh.
Oh, thank you! I don’t know that book, but I will look for it. Does he suggest taking the words out or editing as you’re right, are doing it afterward?
DeleteAnd yes, those books… It is so noticeable how they just yammer, yammer yammer, and clearly (oops) it seems like no one is bringing it to her attention. I agree, its absolutely lazy. And kinda… Disrespectful?
Disrespectful is the perfect word.
DeleteI think he recommends self-editing as you go, which is what I do, but gives lots of tips about it, so it would be easy to retrofit the advice. It's an old book, from the 1990's, so maybe the library would be the place to find it.
I will look! xx. thank you!
DeleteSometimes I notice repetitive descriptive words, but what annoys me the most is when a character is referred to by the same thing every time.
ReplyDeleteIn my current read-in-bed-book, one character may be introduced on the page as Jimmie, but forever after in that chapter he is called the farmer. Yup, I know that – move on, or give him the dignity of using his name.
Sad to say my favourite author does this frequently. I often think that I should write to her and suggest that it is a bad habit, but then I think that would be rude – like telling someone they have a big zit on their nose that they should obviously know. So ‘the old poet’ survives another book…
That is such an interesting observation! It’s always a question about whether to give a minor character a name. It’s easier to refer to them when they have a name, but it is also another name for the reader to remember. But wow, if you give someone a name, then you need to use it. Agreed! Unless you somehow need to remind the reader what role that character is playing.
DeleteCan I borrow some of your words? I'm padding my WIP. I was "reminded" not to use SMILE, STAND, SIGH, and STARE. I'm replacing stare with gaze, using lots of chair action instead of stand (she pushed her chair under the desk), deleting sigh, and at a standstill with smile. Not a grin, not a grimace, beam, smirk, simper or leer. What's wrong with a smile, gentle or otherwise?
ReplyDeleteMargaret, as long as that smile “does not reach her eyes”, the word smile is good for me. Nearly tossed one our Reds books across the room for repeating that phrase, which I cannot stand and seems to grow ever more popular with more and more authors. Elisabeth
DeleteYes, smile is a tough one, because it is used to indicate that someone is happy or approving, or affectionate or rewarded or congenial. But wow, if you imagine what someone looks like when they smile, it’s so strange… It’s becomes easier to take it out.
DeleteOr "released a breath she didn't know she was holding."
DeleteI love the photo--you two look amazing! And HCR! What a treat. I do notice when writers are repetitive. One very popular series (non mystery) from years ago comes to mind. I only read the first one, because I found it very repetitive and therefore boring.
ReplyDeleteI would think cut, cut, cutting would be very hard, but you seem to enjoy it. Modern technology is a help though!
Well, it's SO rewarding! And I use track changes , so I can see what I've cut, and that's very reassuring.
DeleteRepeated word in one of Ngaio Marsh’s Alleyn and Troy mysteries drove me crazy. No one ever “said”, “shouted” or “exclaimed” anything. They “ejaculated”… for pages and pages. No memory of plot, title, just this one word. (Insert crazy eyed emoji here.) Good luck with your removal of excess words, Hank. Elisabeth
ReplyDeleteReally? That is such a strange choice...
DeleteVery strange, Hank. It was one of her last books. Made me wonder if she was “slipping”. She had already died when I “discovered” her. Elisabeth
DeleteFirst, Hank, you two look fabulous, my darlings! And with all that success of your books swirling around you, you should take a moment to swoon gracefully (while in black tie-appropriate dress) on a chaise lounge and have someone bring you something reviving to sip! And clearly, all that cutting is very creative for you--and leads to hot-off-the-press books!
ReplyDeleteI notice repetitive words/phrases/descriptions in whatever I'm reading. Boring! But, I'm also guilty of over-using words as a writer myself and find a notebook handy for noting them, and search wonderfully useful for rooting them out. As you mention, the process often does lend itself to rewriting, tightening a sentence/scene. Satisfying!
Yes, the domino effect is really fascinating...it's as if the word was preventing you from writing the sentence you meant to write. Then once you open it up, you see a better way.
DeleteHank, What a fabulous photo of you two! Yes, repetitive words can sneak up on us. My most frequent faults is 'shrugged', 'smiled', 'so', and the often totally unnecessary 'that'. Great post!
ReplyDeleteShrugged! It's so evocative, but maybe..once. Raised an eyebrow, too. ONCE. People actually (oops) do that.
Delete“So” was the bane of my work emails, usually because I was trying to lead someone down my logical thought path.
DeleteI forget which one of Mick Herron’s Slough House books it was, but suddenly everyone was saying “Jesus wept” all of the time. Happily the frequency decreased in the following books.
Oh!
DeleteI noticed that! And they did it on TV, too!
Congratulations on your progress with cutting the excess from your manuscript!
ReplyDeleteI do notice repetitive use of words while reading, and I try not to let it bother me.
As a writer, I am grateful! xxxx
DeleteI agree with everyone else - that is a fabulous picture of you two! Now I have so many questions for you. What do you do with all the trimmings? When you read someone else's book how do you stop yourself from doing edits in your head on that book?
ReplyDeleteAs for use of certain words, oh my, yes, I do notice. Hank, there is a certain word that you use that I have not seen in any other work, but it seems to always show up once or twice in your work. So if I didn't know it was your book, that word would be the 'tell' that would tip me off. I'm really looking forward to reading your new book about Tessa. And if that word shows up in it somewhere I might tell you. Or maybe I won't.
Two things: what I do with the trimmings? Well, I usse track changes, so they are not gone until the very end. They RARELY are useful. Which is even more illustrative of you unnecessary they are. Of ther they are my transitions from one place to another in the conversation, and when I discover the point of the conversation ,I realize I often don't need the whole journey.
DeleteALSO. WHAT WORD? Message me! xxx I will include it, just for you. If it's not already there...
Oh yes, I do notice repeated words! "Growled" is currently at the top of my list. "It should be used only when referring to dogs and bears," he growled.
ReplyDeleteHA! Perfect!
DeleteMy characters do seem to "nod" a lot -- so much so that I always do a FIND "nod" after I've finished. Great post as always.
ReplyDeleteSO funny. Yup, good one! Lots of nodding in my books too. But not anymore. xxx
DeleteYour topic is well-timed for me. I am currently reading the 7th book in an excellent series by a very good, well-respected author. It has been driving me crazy how often someone "bares her teeth." As in, "...in a facsimile of a smile"...or "...in what might pass for a smile" or "...in a taut smile." I suspect the author's editors are doing less editing in installment 7 than they did in the earlier ones. Perhaps I should just be grateful that this is the only annoying habit that has been exposed.
ReplyDeleteHilarious. The smiling thing continues to be perplexing. And it shows, too, how you get lost i n the individual day's writing, and lostee track of the big picture until the end. THEN you have to go back and cut cut cut. And see what word or phrase you are favoring.
DeleteOh yes. I have my pet words and phrases. You know? Right? Somehow, usually, actually - and starting a sentence with "So," - all cut in the final pass before I turn it in. Or at least (another fave) most of them.
ReplyDeleteI re-read a book once (an older one, maybe from the 1990s) where the author used the word "peculiar" soooo many times - sometimes 3 or 4 times a page! In my mind I skipped it and it didn't really change the meaning at all.
On the same page! Whoa. Someone should have noticed that...and yes, at least, so many times. ANd it can almost always go.
DeleteYour pruning of the manuscript reminds me of descriptions of sculptors chipping away to find the figure hidden in the stone. I recall one book in which everyone was grinning, even at times when it didn't feel appropriate. Students used to let me know when I'd over-used any admonition . . . "focus" was one.
ReplyDeleteHA! They are tough! xxx
DeleteHANK: You and Jonathan look so glam at that ritzy event! Commenting "late" from Vancouver BC.
ReplyDeleteWow, I remember reading PRIME TIME and can't imagine it in its first bloated 723 page draft! I know you like to cut, but you must have removed some subplots, no?
And yes, I do notice when authors repeatedly use the same word or phrase. I think they needed a better editor.
One book I recently read had the characters "adjusting" things too often. Their bag, their clothes, their position. Another word could have been used!
DeleteOh, gosh, once you get a word in your head , it seems to take up residence...xoxo
DeleteYou both look fabulous! Fabulous! Some words need repeating.
ReplyDeleteI don't notice repeating words that much and I thought probably because writers and editors are generally on the ball. I will be on the lookout now. I am more aware of the plot and the characters and occasionally I will notice grammatical or spelling errors.
I was comparing poets, song or lyric writers vs book writers. I think the repetition they use is balanced with rhythm.
I've often wondered about the great writers of the past - Hemmingway, Christie, Faulkner, Mark Twain, etc, and wondered if they had editors who needed to do much to change their writing and if they did how did it affect their writing?
Oh, that is a great question! And I feel like I should know the answer to that, but I don’t. Anyone? Anyone?
DeleteYou both look fabulous! Fabulous! Some words need repeating.
ReplyDeleteI don't notice repeating words that much and I thought probably because writers and editors are generally on the ball. I will be on the lookout now. I am more aware of the plot and the characters and occassionally I will notice grammatical or spelling errors.
I was comparing poets, song or lyric writers vs book writers. I think the repitition they use is balanced with rhythm.
I've often wondered about the great writers of the past - Hemmingway, Christie, Faulkner, Mark Twain, etc, and wondered if they had editors who needed to do much to change their writing and if they did how did it affect their writing?
I know this is the second time for this comment, but I’m noticing now… Yes. Rhythm. Sometimes repetition is rhythm. And that’s when it works.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThanks to my first editor, I've kept a list of words I tend to rely on too often in my writing. I've relied on that list for years to help me weed my manuscripts. BUT, in searching for the list this morning, I JUST couldn't find it, and all I remember of it now were the words BUT and JUST!
ReplyDeleteOh, those are two of the worst! We just (!) type them without even knowing, don’t you think?
DeleteAnd I would love to see that list!
DeleteRepeating words over and over... over the years, MS Word has added so many bells and whistles the professional writer has NO need. Why can't they get us software that alerts you when you've used the word "lever" to describe someone getting out of their chair ten times in one manuscript?!? And yes, that's a real example from my first novel, and I didn't even realize it until I finally listened to it being read. Let me tell you, ALL those "smack-myself-in-the-head" moments come clear when you hear them assaulting you through your stereo...
ReplyDeleteThat is an absolutely brilliant idea, Julia! It would have to be very complicated, though, wouldn’t it? I say, as I’m thinking about this. Because of the many words that are used repeatedly and inevitably. Like the.
DeleteBut I still think it’s a marvelous idea.
Once I use the word happened or happen five times in the same paragraph. When I looked at it again, I just couldn’t believe it. Why would anyone do that? Luckily, I could fix it.
Ugh, how demoralizing, Julia!
DeleteA similar phrase I see used way too much is "angled his way into/out of the car/ under the steering wheel".
Oh, I have never used that! It seems awkward...xoxoo
DeleteIt’s wonderful either way! But does anybody know about this?
DeleteAn author that I followed frequently used variations of the word “frown”. This happened in several books. I started counting the number of times she used it on one page. I loved her books, but got taken out of the story a bit whenever characters frowned! Oh, and everyone was shrugging!
ReplyDeleteAs always, Hank. I can’t wait to read your next book!
DebRo
Oh, thank you! On ONE page? Whoa. her characters must have been so..unhappy, disappointed, disapproving dissatisfied diseveryting... :-)
DeleteHANK: So late today! I finally got 8 hours of sleep for the first time in weeks! Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your writing life. I have often wondered if it is the author or the ? editor ? copyeditor? who cuts out the words or sections of the story. In my online writing class, our teacher reminds us to write and write then Edit Later.
ReplyDeleteWow, the library gala sounds fantastic and I love your photos. So many wonderful writers there! I read the blog by Heather Cox Richardson daily. Wonderful post today, which resonated with me for several reasons.
Though I am not sure I have noticed repeated words, I do notice if a paragraph is repeated word for word. As a reader, I follow the story as written and when a sentence or paragraph is repeated word for word, it throws me off!
And I have noticed that a few authors (I forgot who) seem to use "filler words", meaning that they add more chapters when I think the story could have stopped at Chapter 28 instead of going on to Chapter 35! Sometimes the story stops too soon, which leaves me thinking this story needs a few more chapters to answer the questions raised in the mystery.
Diana
YAY sleep! xxx Oh, yes, that balance between the beginning, when all is possible, and the end when you just want to GET there..is so precarious! I always cut SO much more from the first half of the novel !
DeleteHank, you and Jonathan looked absolutely amazing!! So glam! Such a fun post today--wish I was at the cutting stage... It's so hard to find new ways to say all those ordinary things that people actually do.
ReplyDeleteLove the meta-ness of you editing this book while on book tour!
(thank you! I love how meta it is..you will all recognize it!)
DeleteSome expressions seem to be in vogue with more than one author, sort of the phrases du jour, e,g. it’s never just a cup of..it’s always a steaming cup, dipping their head or chin, a companionable silence, people hopping in or out of some form of transportation.
ReplyDeleteOne author I read recently has her characters grinning throughout the book.
SO funny! Grinning is the worst! In real life, no one grins, except The Joker.
DeleteOh, Hank. I think lots of people grin. To me, you are grinning in your avatar photo — I think of a grin as "just" -- that word -- a wide smile that appears carefree. (Rather than The Joker, who has a grin that appears maniacal.)
DeleteMaybe one person can grin occasionally, but to have a whole cast of characters doing it throughout the same book seems excessive. I’m sure the author could have found another word if it had been noticed.
DeleteOh, I see now. A wide smile that seems carefree. OK, that’s kind of lovely. I look at grin as sort of tortured. But you were definition is much better. Thank you!
DeleteI love the photo of you and Jonathan at the library gala. What a gorgeous couple!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog today, Hank!
The details of how you create your manuscripts then cut them to be smart and tight is fascinating! I often find that I have reused words in my 2 paragraph responses here. A whole book would need three editors to get rid of my repetitive words and phrases.
Thank you! And yes, we type them without thinking....
DeleteHere is one more thought on words. There are millions of them in the English language. Open your dictionary (I still use mine) to any page and you'll find many words that are never used in every day speech. Choose one to substitute for a word that is frequently seen on the page. What have you accomplished if your readers do a double-take on that puzzling word?
ReplyDeleteHow about reading an author who uses so many of them that you feel like you're reading a foreign language or a scientific treatise? I'll take an extra "actually " any day!
Oh, we should do a whole page on the breadth of vocabulary. Brilliant idea!
DeleteGuilty! I use so, of course, actually and then so many times and have to weed them out before it goes to my editor. And my characters grin and turn too much. He grinned and turned away. No no no.
ReplyDeleteSo yes we need a program to alert us!
But I don’t know how you cut that many words. I usually flash and weed as I go, polishing the previous days work before I start on today’s
Great plot. I’m sure it will be brilliant
We all have our ways! xxx And aw, thank you!
DeleteI do notice when the same word or phrase keeps popping up in a book. As in over and over and over again. Hank, the plot of All This Can Be Yours is a stunner! Will there be a haunted TV? I can't wait to read it. And see the cover!
ReplyDeleteA haunted TV! Straight from real life. oxoxoo
DeleteLove this post! I recently attended a two-hour session with you, Hank, on writing tips (The Muddle in the Middle). You are one of the best when it comes to teaching and inspiring. I'm more like Edith. I have to go back and add description and storyline. An editor once commented, "You write very sparingly, don't you?" Thanks for the post, Hank! And thanks for visiting the Carrollton BookFest!
ReplyDeleteOh, so marvelous to see you! And what a fabulous day. Thank you so much for the kind words!
Deletestrolling, striding, sauntering and trotting. I think of trotting for horses not people although I remember an author I really like having one character who trotted throughout one book. He’s a recurring character in her series, but I don’t think he’s trotting any longer. Maybe someone noticed?
ReplyDeleteI don’t think I have ever seen anyone sauntering. Doesn’t anybody just walk anymore?
Using a thesaurus would be helpful, but not if the alternative words aren’t realistic that they are just being used as a synonym to avoid repeating the same word.
I have also seen a smile not reaching someone’s eyes being overused, but not by just one author. It’s appeared in books by a number of authors to the extent it has become a cliche.
Yes, I agree--that is everywhere! and saunter, that's a good one. ANd I love your trotting story. Can you imagine the emails? NO MORE TROTTING!
DeleteI do wonder sometimes how some books make it past the editor without anyone catching errors. I read a lot of books in digital form. I would think the publication of a “physical” book vs an e-book would be the same as it is edited and yet I see SO many typos in the digital books.
ReplyDeleteI apologize if I have already used this example on JRW, but a recent book I read had the term “sordid” spelled as “sorted”. More than once! The same author introduced a character as Carrie Newton early on and then about halfway through the book, changed the name to Carrie Fisher! If the change had been to a less famous name, I might not have noticed, but c’mon! Princess Leia? To her credit (?), the author stuck with “Fisher” for the rest of the book. — Pat S
That's downright weird. And in my experience, the ebook has exactly the same editing process as the physical book, and at the same time.
DeleteThat’s what I would think. Pat
Deletejust read a book where the word camera was spelled camara at least twice that I noticed
ReplyDeletethat's so annoying! xx
DeleteCan't wait for whichever words make the cut!!
ReplyDeleteAww..that''s the nicest thing I've ever heard! xxxxx
DeleteBesides being fun to read, which it is, this is practically a handbook for doing that final edit. It goes right into the "keep" file. Thank you, Hank
ReplyDeleteAwwww thank you!
DeleteTriss, you are so right! Reading JRW is like attending a masterclass in writing.
DeleteThat is so lovely of you! Thank you!
DeleteI do agree that cutting is bliss. Love your description of it, Hank. And the relish you take with doing it. There's a difference for me between trimming/ focusing the STORY, and dumping unnecessary words. And I do have a list of words that always make me cringe. Petite. Giggle. ... and of course the extraneous of course and so.
ReplyDeleteVery wise! And, of course, you can’t cut 20,000 words by surgically removing “of course” and the like.
DeleteThe first round of editing is for the story. Focusing, tightening, deleting deleting deleting. I have deleted entire chapters. Again, that’s the “ what work is this doing and does it help advance a riveting the story” edit .
And when I have that, (at least, for the moment,) then I go through and take out unnecessary words. And often that makes a difference in the story, too! Doesn’t it for you?
Elizabeth Linington AKA Dell Shannon and Lesley Eagan had all her characters use "hostage to fortune" to refer to their families. Not one character having a catch phrase but everybody. She even used it in a historical novel. It got really irritating!
ReplyDeleteA more recent author used "chuffed" a lot. Not super annoying yet but getting there.
Isn’t it funny how one cool phrase is wonderful… Once. And then… It’s annoying. Oh my goodness, the minefield. Xx
DeleteHank, this is so great! I am so eager to read this book - it feels wonderfully relatable! I am always amazed when I find myself repeating words in a manuscript then I remember that Reacher shrugged and shrugged and shrugged in the early books -- so much it drove me batty. I guess it happens to us all! LOL.
ReplyDeleteI did not remember that! That is so reassuring! Thank you!
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