LUCY BURDETTE: Laura Hankin's books are perfect summer reading, so if you haven't read her yet, you're in for a treat! Welcome Laura!
LAURA HANKIN: I still remember the first one-star review I ever received. It happened almost a decade ago. Back then, I hadn’t yet learned that Goodreads isn’t a particularly healthy place for authors to hang out, so I spent far too much time lurking on the page for my debut novel. With each complimentary review that rolled in, I let myself believe that, despite the book’s small printing and the lack of media attention it had received, I was at the start of a long and healthy career, my talent undeniable!
And then a big, bright one-star review popped up, calling the book “stunningly boring and pedestrian,” plunging me into self-doubt and somehow making me forget every compliment I'd gotten.
It’s amazing how long criticism can stay with us, isn’t it? Why is it so easy to push aside the nice things that people have told you in favor of the mean ones? I’ve received countless five-star reviews in the years since, and yet this is still the only one I can recite word-for-word.
I even made a music video about it for the release of my new book, and some author friends joined in for cameos, because it turns out that we all have a… special attachment to our one-star reviews.
I think sometimes we assume that the people who criticize us are the only ones telling us the truth. Socially, it’s so much easier to make nice. So if someone bothers to criticize us, it must really mean something, right? But the thing is, a critique is only one person’s truth. A gushing compliment might be somebody else’s. Everyone has different taste, different things that bother them, different things they love. So if you try to please every single person, you’ll never do a thing.
Over the years, I’ve found people I trust to give me constructive feedback on my writing — friends, my editor, my agent — and I let their critiques push me to be better. Of course, sometimes it’s difficult to ignore the other critics, like the time I had to walk down the aisle at my friend’s wedding with a man who’d given my book a one-star rating on Goodreads. (We were the maid of honor and best man, so there was no avoiding each other.) But even that criticism turned out to be an unexpected gift. It provided me for the perfect setup for my new novel, ONE-STAR ROMANCE.
How do you deal with criticism? Do you tend to hold onto it, or are you able to let it go pretty easily? And have you ever found criticism to be a good thing?
About ONE-STAR ROMANCE: A struggling writer is forced to walk down the aisle at her best friend's wedding with a man who gave her novel a one-star review in this fresh, emotional romantic comedy. Though this maid of honor and best man would prefer to never see each other again after the reception ends, they're forced together over the course of a decade each time their best friends celebrate a new life milestone. Through housewarmings and christenings, triumphs and tragedies, these two grapple with their own life choices, their changing friendships, and whether your harshest critic can become your perfect match.
Author bio: Laura Hankin is the author of Happy & You Know It, A Special Place for Women, and The Daydreams. Her musical comedy has been featured in publications like The New York Times and The Washington Post, and she is developing projects for film and TV. She lives in Washington DC, where she once fell off a treadmill twice in one day.
Congratulations, Laura, on your new book . . . I'm definitely looking forward to finding out how everything works out!
ReplyDeleteI think we're all vulnerable to criticism of any sort . . . yet sometimes it can be helpful, although it's difficult to see that, no matter how much you try to put it in some sort of perspective.
I think the ease with which one moves past criticism often is related to the situation . . . .
Thank you so much, Joan! And I totally agree.
DeleteI love the video. It is true that criticism can be what sticks in your mind. I deal much better with it now than I did when I was younger. I had a writing project in high school that was turning into a book. My family found it and spent one dinner time reading it, tearing it apart, laughing at it, and telling me how dumb it was that I thought I could write anything. That totally destroyed my confidence and ability to write anything. Young people especially need to be encouraged and nourished to follow their dreams. They may not be successful, but they need to try and come to that conclusion on their own. That one star review really does block out everything else.
ReplyDeleteI’m really sorry to hear about your family’s behavior with your writing. No surprise at all that that had a huge effect on you.
DeleteThat is appalling. It is no surprise that those of us who were ridiculed as kids, had adjustment and confidence issues for years. That this incident discouraged you from writing is not surprising, and incredibly sad.
DeleteOh no, Patricia, I'm so sorry to hear that! Everyone who ends up being a good writer has to do some bad writing first, and I agree that it's so important to encourage people instead of laughing at them.
DeleteI hold on to criticism longer than I should. Especially if it comes from someone I trust. Not sure how I would deal with critism from an unknown source.
ReplyDeleteWell there is the story about the negative reactions my negative review of The Dark Knight got. However, I laughed those off because it was obvious fan boys who were hurt by my not liking the film. Even though I said it was me - I found the movie too dark. Yes, I remember it, but I found it funny then and now.
Fan boys do have very strong opinions!
DeleteLAURA: Thanks for giving me my early morning laugh by watching your video! I have NEVER given any author a 1-star review on Goodreads. The lowest score I give is a 2-star, and that rarely happens. If I really didn't like the book, I mark it as DNF.
ReplyDeleteAs a recovering perfectionist, criticism does sting.
I remember many times when I got an "A" grade at school, and my late dad asked why I did not get an "A+". That was unhealthy criticism that pushed me harder to try and achieve that elusive perfection.
Part of my job doing climate change research was to submit my journal articles to peer-reviewed academic journals. Most scientific journals have an editor. If your manuscript is provisionally accepted, you get the editor's feedback plus 2 anonymous reviews. Of course, sometimes the reviews and comments contradicted each other. But I couldn't ignore them. Instead, I had to respond to both positive & negative feedback and explain why I made some changes and ignored others.
Ah yes, the 'anonymous reviewers'! Sometimes it was pretty clear who they were and which particular axe they had to grind....
DeleteDidn't mean to remain anonymous--thanks, Blogger! Flora
DeleteSo glad you enjoyed the video! And hah, nothing like reviews contradicting each other to make you see how subjective taste is!
DeleteFLORA: True, the climate change research community was pretty small so we knew each other. Still it's annoying to get such conflicting comments that you have to respond to!
DeleteI always tell new authors to avoid reading their reviews although I know that's nearly impossible. Laura, like you, I can have 50 5-star reviews, but that one 1-star will curl me into the fetal position and have me inconsolable for a week.
ReplyDeleteYes, the lure of Goodreads is strong! But it's so much healthier to stay away!
DeleteLove the video. I won't leave negative reviews simply because I may not like it, but others may and I would not like to deter someone from reading a book. At some point, I can let go of criticism, but not immediately after.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. I use a similar approach when I post my book reviews.
DeleteI also don't leave negative reviews, mostly for the same reason! (And also because, as a writer myself, I know how much work goes into writing a book!)
DeleteLove the video. Is that you singing? If so, you are a multi-talented person!
ReplyDeleteAh, yes, the trash reviews. They can sting, but some make me laugh or shake my head in wonder. In one of my books, a lesbian couple comes into my protag's (Midwestern) restaurant excited to celebrate that they can finally get officially married. They are minor characters, no biggie. My one-star said, "If I'd known you were going to support the homosexual agenda, I never would have bought the book." Well, all righty then! I guess that's a reader I don't need.
Congratulations on your new book and for turning a barb into silver!
(Reds, as I am the only person in the universe who doesn't bring head phones or earbuds on the train with her, I couldn't watch last night despite having an extra 90 minutes of [unwanted] travel time on the Acela home from NYC. I'll catch the show later.)
Missed you last night, EDITH! VIA rail trains don't have a quiet car, so I always bring headphones to drown out the nearby chatter & listen to an audiobook.
DeleteYes, it's me singing. Thank you! And oof, I think you're right about not needing that particular reader.
DeleteI haven't watched the video yet, but I will. Laura, your new book is getting a lot of buzz and it is on my TBR list. I may just go straight for the audiobook because rom-coms are the perfect accompaniment to baking!
ReplyDeleteI could write a dissertation on one star reviews. In fact, I won't review a book unless I loved it. Period. I know that skews the curve, but awarding stars is very subjective. I would rather say something substantive like: "sparkling dialogue," "great characters" or, for a book I didn't like: "I couldn't find anyone to care about in this story." If I could just say what I think about a book, without awarding stars, I would write reviews of books I don't love.
I always review audiobooks because Audible makes it really easy to do. I listen to different genres including romance. I have only dodged writing a review a couple of times, both times I was dismayed by the content. My sensibilities shouldn't be the scale of whether a book is good or not. I am thinking of Edith's critic who didn't want homosexuality to be normalized. That was totally her issue and had nothing to do with the quality of the storytelling.
Thank you Judy, I hope you enjoy the listening and the baking!
DeleteCongratulations, Laura! Great story about taking a painful episode and turning it into something lovely. I think it's human nature to remember humiliating moments--I remember a couple from first grade! I track my reading on Goodreads and I just shake my head at some of the ridiculous reviews, especially of books that I loved. Some readers have no attention spans and don't want to learn anything from their reading.
ReplyDeleteThank you Gillian! Yes, humiliating moments have a way of sticking with you like nothing else...
DeleteI go by "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all", so no 1-start reviews from me. Laura -- I'm so curious about the real-life genesis of your new book: How on earth did the best man divulge to you that he had given your book a 1-star review? I mean, did he blurt it out in embarassment when he first met you? Did he lord it over you like some kind of superior judgment? I cannot imagine just how awkward that walk down the aisle must have been for you... kudos to you for turning it into a book. Sweet revenge, indeed!
ReplyDeleteThis was back when I spent too much time on my Goodreads, so I saw his rating pop up with his name attached to it! I actually think he didn't realize that it was public, though, and he was just trying to keep track of his own reading, so he didn't mean to be superior or cruel!
DeleteIs it possible that the criticism is valid?
ReplyDeleteFrom Flora: If the majority of reviews are negative, then I would see if there's a common refrain among them--too many plot holes? Characters poorly developed? But if there's just a mean-spirited review that doesn't offer anything beyond 'this book is horrible' kind of a review, then I'd say it's that reader's taste that's at issue, not the writing.
DeleteI'm glad you wrote about this, Laura. Before I was a writer, I occasionally used to leave a bad review on Amazon when a book really annoyed me. Then I wrote the first draft of my first book, got some hurtful comments, and resolved never to write a bad review again. Now that I've published my third mystery, I notice that I can handle the occasional nasty review or comment much better because I have much more distance--and plenty of good feedback to balance it. But non-constructive, unkindly worded reviews are still painful; there's no getting around that. The strange thing is that if someone told me my son was cruel, ugly, and stupid, I'd laugh because I KNOW he isn't any of those things. So why can't we be that confident that our books are good?
ReplyDeleteSuch a good point! I'd feel the same way if someone insulted my daughter. (Well actually, I'd be furious at them while knowing that they were wrong.)
DeleteCongratulations on your new novel, Laura. I saw the video and loved your sense of humor, making lemonade out of lemons. And thank you, Lucy for introducing us to a new author.
ReplyDeleteWhile I have never given a one star review on Goodreads, I would mark a book as DNF if I really did not like the book. I would rather review books that I loved. As a reader, I prefer to read WHY people loved the book. I ignore the one star reviews.
Growing up, I was taught that if I did not have anything nice to say, then do not say it. Few people did Not get that memo.
At first, when someone criticizes me, do I listen to that person or ignore that person? I let go of the criticism. There are times when the criticism is valid and other times when it is not. If the criticism is constructive, then I see this as feedback more than criticism. For example, when someone criticizes my face, I laugh, I was born with this face and it is Not something I can change. It is THEIR problem, not my problem.
Over the years I have learned not to take criticism personally. Laura, one of the perks of getting older is becoming wiser as you become older if we are lucky to live long lives.
When is criticism a good thing? I submitted a short story a few years ago. I sent a copy to a trusted source who gave me fantastic feedback on my writing. I think that is called Constructive Criticism. When I wrote the short story, I had too Many characters. The feedback was use fewer characters. And when I read the winning short story, I noticed that the author used fewer characters. It was very enlightening for me.
There is a topic discussed in a book by a professor at San Diego. In the hearing world, the criticism method is the “sandwich” approach. Usually, the first thing is something nice or positive about what you did. The middle is about something you did that was a mistake or something negative. The last thing is something nice. When a deaf employee at work had a conversation with a hearing supervisor, the supervisortried to explain the problem and the deaf employee did not know what the problem was. In the Deaf world, it is BLUNT. They go right to the point and say straight what the problem is.
That's so interesting - assume this is from Diana?
DeleteEdith, yes, thank you! I thought I signed my name. Diana
DeleteThank you so much! Yes, I'm certainly less sensitive to criticism now than I was 10 years ago, and I can only hope that I'm even more immune 10 years from now!
Delete
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Laura! I can't even imagine how awful it would feel to read a one star review. Much better if people didn't review the book at all, since they were probably having a bad day themselves and taking it out on the book (and the author.)
On Amazon especially, I remember seeing many one star reviews where the readers went on the rave about the book. Huh? Confused about the star system, perhaps. And then the stupid one-star reviews complaining that their book arrived with a torn cover. I stopped trusting Amazon reviews, especially all of the ones by Harriet K. Her reviews were always glowing but it seemed clear she had not read the book, but pasted the blurb from the back or the front flap.
Oh, I remember those! Enraging!
DeleteOh, I've also seen one-star reviews for torn covers!
DeleteCongratulations on your new book, Laura! Life is full of what I call "reframing moments." That time when you can evaluate what was said and reframe it to remove the attack and reflect on the content. I find lots of times, it isn't me that bothers them it is what they see in me that is lacking in themselves. Much easier to lash out than face your own inner truths. If I'm reading a book that really grates on me, I try to figure out why. Sometimes it is marketed as adult material when it is filled with characters acting like entitled teens. Instead of writing a scathing review, I just figure it wasn't my cup of tea. Ditto some authors simply write in a fashion that makes me crazy. Doesn't make it a bad book, just tells me I am not compatible with that writing style.
ReplyDeleteAs far a criticism, when I was younger I was terrified of making a mistake. As Grace said, I am a recovering perfectionist also. It can be a daily struggle to wrestle with the fact that life just isn't perfect so how could people be perfect? I used to avoid situations where I wouldn't excel because I dreaded the criticism. Time has passed and now I am able to look at a criticism and again see if it needs to be reframed. I have encountered two supervisors who wrote negative employee reviews about me when what it did was show areas where they were weak and expected me to fix it. Even had one review was conveniently "lost" by that person's superior because they knew me and realized exactly what was going on.
For years I suffered from low self-esteem and assumed any criticism was valid. The more I began to love myself, warts and all, the more I understood that criticism has its own hidden agenda, and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me, it is just the other person projecting their fears and weaknesses. I welcome valid criticism from friends and coworkers who really know me and can see issues I can't. It helps me to grow as a person and as a friend.--Victoria
Victoria, congratulations! And that is a good approach to take to reviews of a book. Some of them are useful precisely because the reviewer offers details--why the book worked/didn't work for them. The author can parse those comments and address any weaknesses in their writing, build on their strengths. And weed out those 1-stars that don't provide anything but heartburn! (Flora)
DeleteFellow recovering perfectionist here! I love this.
DeleteYes, there is always the moment when we ask ourselves: could this be true? And then the resounding answer comes back: no. It is not true. No no, no no no. For instance, the time after a story,
ReplyDeleteI did for TV, and angry viewer emailed my news director telling her I was a cheese puff. I paused. Am I really a cheese puff? No, no no.
But to your point, I still think about it.
When I was on the board of the Lyric stage company, a professional theater company in Boston, our producing artistic Director used to make an announcement at the beginning of each performance. “Thank you for coming, “ he would say, and if you love our show, please spread the word. If you don’t love it,” he would go on, “don’t say anything.”
My philosophy exactly.
Also, once I was in a bookstore, and heard two women talking about a book. One of them absolutely loved it! She loved it! She said it was one of the best book she had ever read in her entire life, that she could not put it down, and that she could not believe how brilliant it was.
Oh, the other woman said, I bet you are going to give it five stars!
No, the second one said. No book deserves five stars. Because every book could be better.
I really had to restrain myself. Xxxx
Hank, a few years ago, James Ziskin wrote an essay about starred reviews for Criminal Minds. I think of that essay very often when I write reviews. The 4 star lady in your tale would have had a starring role in his essay. LOL
DeleteHank P_R a cheese puff? That's so crazy it's almost hysterical!
DeleteA cheese puff??? And your bookstore story made me laugh/shake my head, thank you!
DeleteI don’t think I’ve ever given a one star review, but I have given a very few 2’s with my opinion of how it could have been a better read for me personally. Some books I just mark as finished with no rating and move on.
ReplyDeleteI hold on to criticism much too tightly. I know it isn’t healthy. I know some sensitive souls who get bruised by the slightest thing and it is hard to be friends with them. Constantly walking on eggshells.
I enjoy when authors poke fun at the one stars, including your video. I bet your new book will be a hit.
Thank you Brenda!
DeleteWhat a great concept for a novel! I’ve had my share of one stars. They are hard to shake off. I once wrote a short story in which a writer entertains her reviewer with a mushroom omelette… self picked mushrooms!
ReplyDeleteHah, thank you Rhys!
DeleteBad reviews can absolutely crush a person--as can any sort of criticism unless you consider the source and deal with it appropriately. In terms of writing, a good friend, a trusted editor? I'm going to be truthful with myself (maybe after muttering under my breath!) and use that critique to make my work better. The Nazi boss who could give the orange man a run for his money--valuing 'loyalty' above competence in terms of their treatment of employees? Best to move on! (Flora)
ReplyDeleteFlora, again--Laura, I love how you turned that experience of a 1-star review into the perfect rom-com plot! Wishing you much success with your new release!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Flora!
DeleteCute story! Everyone can be a one star somewhere in life! Alicia Kullas
ReplyDeleteIndeed! Thank you Alicia!
DeleteWhat fun!
ReplyDeleteCriticism is a two edged sword. It hurts, but if the reader provides their reasons, I'm good with that, and have learned from them. Not every book fits every taste.
Definitely agree re: taste!
DeleteI do love the idea of a one-star romance, Laura - I've had a few of those myself in my youth! As for criticism, I pay close attention to my beta reader (thanks, Roxanne!,) my agent, and of course, my editor. As for online, I can't control reader's experiences, and having seen bad reviews because people had issues with the e-book formatting (!) I generally avoid them. They're for readers, not for the writer.
ReplyDeleteI should add, as a reader myself, I do use Goodreads and Amazon reviews when considering a new-to-me author. But online reviews are always second to recs from people I know - like here at JRW.
DeleteYes, learning that online reviews were for readers and not the writer was SUCH a valuable lesson!
DeleteWoman, you can sing! I am envious. I'm a reader and I do review books in return for getting to read them before publication. Thank you NetGalley, authors, and publishers. I'm very careful about what I pick out. I assume I'm going to love the book and it's darned awkward if I don't. Three stars is the least I'll give a book; any fewer and I won't review it. I'm not wild about personal criticism. I will accept it, mull it over, stew, and probably hold a grudge forever. I'm a Scorpio after all.
ReplyDeleteThank you Pat!
DeleteI love the set up of your novel, Laura. How can she forget that one-star review when she's confronted by it in the person who made it constantly? I'm assuming he doesn't tell her that he was just in a bad mood that day and didn't mean it, which would be even more infuriating. He could at least pretend not to have meant it, right? This story sounds like one in which the reader can really get involved in the feelings of the writer. I wonder how many people, like me, would want to make the writer feel better and in trying to be polite would take back the one-star review, or how many people think that the straight-up truth the person who reviewed the book is what he should stick to. And, did it deserve the one-star or not?
ReplyDeleteThat video was so clever and funny. I've watched it three times so far.
Thank you so much, Kathy!
DeleteLaura, what a perfect plot for a rom-com!! And your video is absolutely adorable!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Deborah!
Delete