RHYS BOWEN: The other day they posted a list on Facebook of the twenty best countries to live in. The USA was not in that top twenty. This created a deluge of comments saying there was no place better than the good old US of A. Land of the free. Home of the brave.
Then responses to these comments. I prefer a place which respects women’s rights and nobody carries a gun. The US is fine if you don’t get sick. I value my free health care. My maternity leave. My free university and child care etc etc.
Of course there are plenty of good things about living in the US. I have chosen to live here, after all. But I am one of the lucky ones who has a house and health care and live in an area with no gun violence. The sad thing is that most of these people who think the USA is the best place to live have never lived anywhere else and probably never traveled anywhere else. I read that only 10 percent of people in the US have a passport. It’s hard because we are so far from the rest of the world except Canada and Mexico. It takes money and time to go to Europe or Asia and to see how other people live. And experiencing other people’s lives is essential to the removal of prejudice and to global harmony.
I look back over my own life of travel and think how the amazing experiences have formed me as a person. Traveling around Greece for 3 months with my best friend, being invited into strangers’ homes and fed. Sitting at outside tables, talking and laughing with them.
I was trying to come up with one experience that exemplifies travel and I think I’ll use Kashmir. We were driving through high meadows where nomads grazed their flocks. Children guarded the goats. As we passed, little girls pulled their headscarves across their faces and turned away, shielding themselves from us. We stopped. I got out. The children retreated. There was a stream fast flowing from the mountains with round white pebbles on its banks. I sat on the bank, took one of the pebbles, took out a Sharpie and drew a face on it. Then I put the pebble down near me, and started on another one. Soon the bravest boys drew near. I finished another face and handed it to a boy. He grinned delightedly. Suddenly I was surrounded. All the children standing and squatting close to me, no headscarves hiding faces, holding out hands for one of the rocks. They laughed and chattered and we communicated with expressions and hands. I had to keep going until all of the children had a rock with their face on it. When we had to leave they followed me to the car, the little girls hanging onto my jacket. I shook hands with boys. Kissed girls. And off we went.
I regret that I can't find the photos John took of us. It was back in 1975 and are probably on a thumb drive somewhere, or even in an envelope of negatives. If only travelers like me could go through Afghanistan or Pakistan think how perceptions could change. If we could see each other as friends and not threats.. So do you have a transforming travel experience you can share?
What a lovely experience, Rhys . . . children truly are one of the world's greatest blessings . . . .
ReplyDeleteDebbie from AZ here. I have been blessed to travel quite a lot and find that I gravitate to kids everywhere , also cats, but that’s another story. Kids every where generally respond to a smile or a silly face. No words required.
DeleteRHYS: I totally agree with you that travelling to other countries opened my imagination and broadened my understanding of different cultures, and traditions.
ReplyDeleteI was born, grew up & spent almost 40 years in Toronto, Canada. Almost 50% of the city's residents were born in another country. I think that growing up in that multicultural mosaic influenced my acceptance of various people & their different culture.
Probably the most transformative travel experience was my 2-month solo trip to Europe as a 19-year old in 1985. I flew from Toronto on PanAm to arrive in Berlin, Germany. Back then, the Berlin Wall still divided the city in 2. I remember crossing into East Berlin via Checkpoint Charlie, and was shocked to find such a stark contrast to glitzy, rich West Berlin when I crossed that border. The buildings were rundown and showed signs of WWII damage. The East Berlin people were grey in the clothes they wore and were dour and unfriendly.
I had that experience in East Berlin, Grace!
DeleteMy parents thought I was crazy to just walk in and spend a 1/2 day alone in East Berlin.
DeleteI'm glad I did it. The Berlin Wall came down in 1989.
I’m in England with husband and two grandchildren. We bring a grandchild here when they are 10. For the older grandchildren who have been on their trip, it’s a memory never forgotten. The cultural differences are wonderful experiences!
ReplyDeleteEspecially as young children. We've taken all our grandchildren to Europe.
DeleteSuch a fabulous post, Rhys. Thank you. I have lived overseas for from six to twenty months in Brazil, Japan, France, Mali, and Burkina Faso, and spent a fair bit of time in Quebec. Going to Brazil for a year at barely seventeen truly changed my life and opened my eyes to the world.
ReplyDeleteBut living in West Africa was the starkest contrast to home in terms of landscape, language, climate, and people. And yet, as you say, the children are friendly and curious, the mothers nurse their babies and care for them, and people laugh and are generous and play music and dance.
You've had such wide experience, Edith. I think going to India the first time was an eye opener for me.
DeleteI would add, Rhys, that the USA is huge--and for some people, all they know is where they were born and raised. A small moment that I experienced once was at a conference. Conference attendees were treated to a barbeque up in the mountains. I can only take so much of the glad-handing that goes on at conferences and as night fell, I retreated to a large campfire surrounded by benches. There had been an entertainment of Native American dances, followed by Polynesian dances. The campfire on the edge of the camp was surrounded by Naive American kids. They invited me to tell ghost stories with them. That experience was the highlight of my trip.
ReplyDeleteNative Americans, sheesh.
DeleteI think most Americans are naive!!!
DeleteSuch a beautiful story, Rhys! I remember the group of children in Nicaragua when I was there with a group working on a clean water project (constructing latrines). They helped us each day, carrying cement blocks and hanging around (they were on a winter break from school) and made fun of my Spanish. The last day, we threw a big party in the dusty village street with a piñata. A good time was had!
ReplyDeleteRhys, there’s absolutely no one like you. We are so lucky. Xxxxxx
ReplyDeleteHank - so true!!
DeleteI spent most of my growing up years in Quito, Ecuador. It is the capital city right on the equator but at 10,000 feet altitude. The climate was like Spring year round and there were many snow covered mountains. Living in another culture is transformative. There is no us and them, there is only we.
ReplyDeleteBravo, Rhys, well said. If you're rich and have good health insurance, you can live a good life in the US of A, but otherwise you have crappy health insurance (or none) and work two jobs to survive paycheck to paycheck. Personally, having traveled and lived outside the US, I think the FB discussion was correct.
ReplyDeleteI haven’t done a lot of international travel, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about other cultures. Living in Rochester, Minnesota home of the Mayo Clinic, I have the world at my doorstep. My kids went to school with students from over 40 different countries of origin who did not have English as their first language. We have neighbors from Bosnia, China, Romania, India, Somalia, just to name a few.
ReplyDeleteNo, the people we are talking about are the lesser educated whites living in the red states. Many have never been more than a few miles from their home. They are naive and have no curiosity about life elsewhere.
DeleteBeing widely read is also a good way to understand other cultures; armchair traveling is an acceptable way to broaden one's mind, and no passport required.
ReplyDeleteMy uncle, whose only foray outside the US was to a mission in Mexico where his brother was the pastor, insists on "America First", and "why would you go anywhere else?" He's always very kind to me, but he's xenophobic and terrified of the "other", to the point of arming himself to the teeth. My meek little aunt goes along with him, to my shame.
When we went to Kenya, lots of friends asked if we felt safe, just as they did when I traveled alone in Europe. The truth is, I felt safer in those places than I do here. In most parts of the US it's impossible to tell in any public place--and some private spaces--who is armed, who might have a gun in his pocket, or her purse. In most of the rest of the world it's very rare to see what I saw on a city street in Birmingham, Michigan once: an upper middle class white mom decked out in pink camo and carrying an equally pink AR-15.
I wish everyone in the US was able to travel outside our (apparently sacred) borders, just to see how others live elsewhere. We take for granted the fact that we are mostly able to move around the world at will, which is unlike many other places. Our newfound family in Poland, for instance, would have a difficult time traveling here, because of visa restrictions, as well as the expense that would be a much larger share of their income than it is of ours. My hairdresser is Polish, and she spent nearly a year trying to get her sister a visa to come visit last summer. Our excellent and erudite guide in the Galapagos would have loved to visit the US, but Ecuadorians are not welcomed here, and lumped in with what would be perceived as "illegals" who try to stay here after their visas run out. The same for our guide in Tanzania. He wanted to drive across the US, but thinking about him doing so gave me great distress on his behalf. That's if he could even get a visa to come here.
I'm really glad all my children got the travel bug, and they've all traveled widely. The youngest has been to every continent except Antarctica, and she's now lived on four continents. Which means I have visited her in all those places.
Yes, reading is an excellent way to learn a variety of things, including different cultures.
DeleteFrom Diana: This is going to be long! Great topic, Rhys! My love of travel started early in my youth. My first trip, as I recall, was a train trip before my 2nd birthday with my parents from Berkeley to Los Angeles. In these days, you could take the Amtrak all over California. Now you have to get off the train part of the way, take the bus then maybe another train if traveling from Berkeley to Los Angeles. Growing up, I went on many trips with my parents, mainly to visit relatives across the country.
ReplyDeleteMy first trip abroad was to Canada the summer I graduated from High School. Apologies in advance if this is going to sound political. At that time there was a big fuss about English only stance and they were asking people to vote for or against it on the ballot that year. At that time I always saw everything in English in the States. When we travelled to Canada from the States, I remember being pleasantly surprised to see seating instructions in both English and French. Luckily, I studied French in school. Since the 5th grade when a teacher from a Deaf school in France visited our class, I have wanted to learn the French language.
First time we travelled to Europe was the summer between my first and second year at University. It was a wonderful experience. I loved the places we visited (England, Scotland and Scandinavia). I had tea with scones and cream in England. We visited Shakespeare Country, In Scotland, it was Edinburgh Castle and the salmon was wonderful. In Scandinavia, we rode on a tram and saw many wonderful sights. The hotel rooms were like a ship’s cabin.
Rhys, your comment “ten percent of Americans travel abroad” ? Reminded me of a question that when I met several Swedish tourists in the States asked me. They asked me why few Americans do not travel to Europe. I did not know the answer at that time. Now I have a theory about why. Several possibilities - many Americans work in careers where they may get only TWO weeks of vacation for the entire year IF they get any vacation at all while Europeans get FIVE weeks of vacation. Please correct me if I am mistaken. And other thing is many Americans could NOT afford to travel abroad with weaker American dollar against the British pound or European currency, At the time the Swedish tourists asked me, there was NO Affordable Health Care. Children in Europe start learning foreign languages as young as 8? Years old or maybe younger. In the States, I wanted to learn French in the fifth grade and they did not offer foreign languages until college preparatory levels in high school?
There are also many Americans who would travel to Mexico, NOT to Canada nor abroad.
During my studies at Oxford, we got a chance to travel to Wales and I loved it there. I was surprised to see how green the country was and NO coal mines! We visited Wye Valley.
Apologies in advance if I sound political again. I felt comfortable going to a church in an English village. No pitying my deafness. In the States, I went to a friend’s church where a clergyman held his hands over my ears and asked me if I could hear again. Such pitying looks. That was before the gun epidemic. Except for one Big Teeth person in England at the Airport and the Rude English only tour guide on the English only Big city Tour bus in London, my experiences as a Deaf person overall has been positive. I saw kindness everywhere I went in the UK and Europe.
When I was in Paris, France, the French seemed to understand my Signing better than the attempts to speak French by some people in my tour group. In Scandinavia, I met happy Deaf schoolchildren and their Deaf teachers.
In High school, I was involved with AFS - this organization hosted exchange students from other countries. My Mom and other teachers sponsored the club. I remember meeting students from other countries and they seemed to understand my Deaf accent.
Oh yes, so many. Whenever I've traveled I've always gotten off the beaten path and away from the tourists and tourist areas. It's always been both enriching and a revelation.
ReplyDeleteAs Flora pointed out, the US is huge compared to other countries. Even most of the Canadian population is concentrated between Buffalo, NY and Toronto (Grace, correct me if that information is out of date). If you've never lived anywhere but Maine, it's hard to envision how people in, say, inner-city LA live. But as Rhys said, travel is expensive. Even within the US. I've been fortunate to travel to different cities for conferences, but those cost anywhere from $1,000-$2,000 once you figure in travel, hotel, food, and conference fee.
ReplyDeleteThe best travel experience I had was courtesy of the US government when I worked disaster assistance. I spent 3 months in Puerto Rico and 3 in St. Croix. Because I made local friends, I was able to see beyond the touristy parts of the area. But I was paid to do it. Without that, I never would have been able to afford it.
LIZ: That's correct. Over 10 million people live in the Golden Horseshoe surrounding the Canadian side of Lake Ontario. That is about 25% of Canada's population. Canada just recently passed the 40 million mark in 2023.
DeleteMy first time in London, I was looking at a paper map and a woman came over to me and asked if she could help me find a place. I never forgot that.
ReplyDeleteI live in an area which attracts a lot of tourists. If I see someone who is looking at a map or just seems to be unfamiliar with where they are, I always go over to them and ask if I can help them.
I also experienced the pride people took in their country. I was buying some hand carved animals and jewelry from a small store in Switzerland. Even though the salesperson had not made the objects, she pointed out that they were made there and were of Swiss quality.
I did most of my traveling with a camera and did a lot of photography.
I was taking pictures of a particularly scenic view in Switzerland. A woman broke away from a group she was with and came over to me and, even though she didn’t speak more than a few words of English, she pointed out different landmarks and buildings to me. This was after someone had previously mentioned to me that the Swiss were not very friendly.
I think people interact with you the way you respond to them.
I was in Yugoslavia before it was broken down into different countries. Everyone seemed to get along together because it was one country under a dictatorship. When they all separated, a lot of these ancient feuds resurfaced even among neighbors and war broke out in many places. Many areas I had been to were badly damaged or destroyed. I wondered afterwards if any of the people I met had.been affected.
Even traveling around this country you become less isolated as to traditional foods, cultures and political views.
Trips by train provided me with opportunities to interact with passengers from many different backgrounds. One woman who was with her adult son was excited because she came from a small town. It was their first time on a train and their first time going to another state.
I have had so many great encounters on European trains
DeleteMy parents took me to Mexico City for the first time when I was seven, so I don't ever remember thinking all people were just like me. Many trips to Mexico were early exposure to extremes of wealth and poverty, too.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised at the the low percentage of 10% of people in this country having a passport. When we went to Acapulco years ago (about 45 years ago), we stayed at what was then the famous Princess Hotel, which was indeed lovely, and I won't go into running into Jim and Tammy Faye Baker and their kids at breakfast one morning. Philip and I decided to rent one of the open-air jeeps the hotel had and go into the city. There were guides waiting to be hired to go with you. So, we hired a young man, who drove, which was good because the traffic was not in straight lines in the city but all over the place. Anyway, the young man was lovely and showed us some good and bad parts of the city, and the bad or poorer parts were unnerving to a young 23-year-old who hadn't been out of the country before. After a while, the young man asked us if we wanted to see the poor section of Acapulco, and Philip and I looked at each other and then declined the offer. We thought we had already seen the poor sections and really weren't keen on seeing something worse. But, it was my first experience and lesson in learning that the resorts and beautiful places of a destination can be far from what the normal residents experience.
ReplyDeleteOh, and on our recent trip to Paris and our Seine River cruise, I discovered what fun it could be to meet people from other countries on the cruise. I met two Scottish couples who solidified my desire to visit Scotland. Of course, just meeting Catriona McPherson had already made me aware of the magic of Scottish people.
We loved our Seine River cruise!
DeleteI really loved this post, Rhys, and loved the experiences you shared.
ReplyDeleteThe first time we went to Paris, I was a little on guard because I had heard tales about the French being rude to Americans. Not true at all for us. In fact our first morning there it was pouring rain, which we hadn't prepared for. We stopped at a little shop and asked (in our very poor French) where we could buy an umbrella. They gave us directions, and then told us to take one of theirs and return it later! We declined, but thanked them. Then, as the rain abated, went on our way. (Good thing we declined, because we got lost and couldn't find their shop again!) But we were so touched by their generosity, given that we were total strangers. We've had many kind experiences like this in our travels.
I think the most wonderful outcome of travel is the fact that your world can never be small again. "Over there" can never be "over there" again. It becomes, in your heart, a permanent part of "here."
Every stranger is a friend I haven't met yet :) I do not have a story as lovely as yours but in every country I have visited, I have found common ground with the people I've met. I do agree that traveling even if it's just around the U.S. is a wonderful way to broaden your perspective about people, places, and this beautiful planet that we all share.
ReplyDeleteOh, Rhys - I've always wanted to visit Kashmir. I hope some day the sad political situation will calm down and I'll be able to.
ReplyDeleteI've found living abroad in Germany and England, and traveling throughout Europe and Africa and Mexico, to have been some of the most important, memorable, mind-expanding times of my life. I'm so glad Youngest is headed to the Netherlands for grad school!
Thank you, Rhys, for giving us so much to reflect upon. When I was young, our family vacationed all around this country so we got to see the land and absorb as much of the local culture as our young brains could grasp. I feel like most of my traveling now is through books. I make it a point to read international authors so I can get a flavor of how they live, how their processes and laws differ from ours. The various foods, customs and even clothing come to life on the page. I haven't been out of the country, but several of my friends have traveled extensively. They each said they would move to Europe to live if circumstances allowed. They described a very different lifestyle and focus on important matters. One couple worked their way from Ireland down through Europe and across the ocean to South America. Talk about an adventure. They experienced how local bribery worked firsthand as they tried to cross one border. They even worked with locals to establish a small business importing goods. They loved the experience and still go to Ireland where they have family.
ReplyDeleteI had the opportunity to have a foreign exchange student from Spain stay with our family many years ago. His parents were wealthy and he had a tad bit of entitlement oozing from him. Trying to teach him about yard work or anything outside was daunting. I suspect that was more from being a teenager and less from being from Spain. His parents were most gracious and showered us with gifts when he arrived and again at Christmas.
About 20 years ago I was fortunate enough to host two members of a German string quartet when they were touring America. They were kind, considerate and brought me a piece of the Berlin wall as a hostess gift. Their music was superb, and it was a wonderful experience to visit with them and I hope they felt welcome in my home.
I will say that I think it is important as Americans to leave home and visit, if not another state then another region within your state. It is an excellent way to learn that not everyone sees life through the same lens as you do. I reflect on Pearl Harbor and 9/11 and how those events reminded Americans that they are not invincible. I feel those events, terrible as they were, united ALL Americans in one cause and demonstrated we are more alike than different and coming together as one sure beats fighting within. It makes me wonder if it will take this generation's 9/11 to get us to toss aside all this divisive talk and cause us to work together toward a common goal. -- Victoria
Victoria's experiences with hosting people from other cultures mirror my own. Forty years ago, long before I ever traveled outside the US, Steve was the program chair for the local chapter of the Audubon Society. This is when the Society had a robust speaker program, with each chapter hosting 4-6 speakers a year.
ReplyDeleteSteve and his dad were both Audubon speakers, so he knew how much nicer it could be to stay in a home, rather than a motel, so all the speakers stayed with us.
We had Americans and Canadians from all over, plus British, German, Finnish, and South African guests, including some couples. I usually cooked a meal so they could relax before the program, and not worry about the possibility of slow restaurant service making us late to the auditorium. I very much hope we helped to show a positive side to American culture.
Nearly every guest was interesting and convivial, except two. The guy from South Africa was a little eccentric; we thought he was a fish out of water, and indeed, that was his only American tour. The other was the wife of a speaker from Utah, who seemed determined to be offended by my every attempt to be hospitable. In retrospect, they must have been Mormon, but she might have explained her reluctance to enjoy a glass of wine, instead of reacting as if we wanted to practice white slavery. At the time I didn't know about prohibitions for using stimulants in their religio, so of course I offended her all over again when I offered coffee at breakfast.
I love this! Travel is truly the best way of breaking down barriers and prejudices. Sadly, it has become so expensive that few even in the U.S. can afford a trip overseas, but everyone with the means should travel and experience other cultures at least once. I have traveled a decent amount and lived in Paris for a summer and have enjoyed all of my travel and found kind, interesting people in every country I have had the privilege to visit. And so many times, I find the way people in a different country do something makes so much more sense than the way we do that same thing in the U.S. But my most meaningful trip was a work trip to the Dominican Republic as an international election observer. We were in the real Dominican Republic, not the fancy resorts frequented by people on a beach vacation. But the real Santo Domingo and small towns out away from the city, in schools and community centers used as polling places. I met and spoke with Dominicans showing up to vote. Real Dominicans. Most of them poor, arriving to vote on ancient motorcycles with babies in their arms, or on foot, or by cars that were many years past the point of passing inspection if they were in the U.S. Arriving to vote at polling places guarded by military personnel with automatic weapons that seemed more to intimidate than protect. The people we met and interviewed in these small towns and in Santo Domingo were kind, open, and vibrant people. They were eager to talk and tell us about their lives and their country that most of them loved, in most instances despite their personal economic situation and living conditions. Their food was delicious, their music was happy, and they were a lovely people I was privileged to meet. I treasure that experience. It was a real eye-opener and I only wished I had had more time to really get to know some of the people we met. People really are, at their core, the same everywhere. If more people realized that, perhaps everyone would get along a little better.
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