JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Reds, I need some advice. Like many of you, I’ve been mightily distracted by the events of the past several weeks. I have late-in-life diagnosed ADD, and even in the best of times I’m prone to whipping my head around at every shiny new thing that pops up in my inbox or appears on my phone. This is, as they say, no bueno, because I’ve got edits due, I’m behind on grading for my college classes, and the dust is piling up in gentle drifts in my house.
So I need suggestions on how to tune out the rest of the world! When I’m in the groove, I actually hyper-focus, and I can get SO much done (or read. Honestly, it’s usually when I’m reading.) Help me out, here - what’s worked for you to screen out distractions and get ‘er done?
LUCY BURDETTE: Honestly, this hasn’t been the best focused time for me either, Julia. But I will try. I’ve turned off a lot of my news, especially alerts. I do not need to know about every cabinet appointment and so on–this gives me heartburn and a serious sleep disorder, and most important of all, THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW.
What I can do is write, do my job as president of the Key West library, maybe cook. Reading has been harder these days. For work, I keep a list with boxes to check next to each task. I’m about to set up a giant list/spreadsheet like the one Hank posted the other day. This will have word counts per day on it and that’s helped in the past. I know my best writing time is morning, so I try to tackle the writing first. Otherwise I’ll get to the end of the day without one single word written.
BTW, if any of you Reds want to set up a private accountability group with check-ins after Thanksgiving, I’d be in:).
JENN McKINLAY: I am recalibrating as we speak by attending
RAMM - Romance Author Mastermind - hosted by the indefatigable Skye Warren.
It’s been three full days of intensive business talks about writing (this
conference is more focused on biz than craft) and I have learned so much. I
think reconnecting to the writing community is key, as surrounding yourself
with similarly motivated people keeps you on task. Sort of like when you
perform with a person who is more talented than you–in any capacity such as theater
or sport–it automatically lifts your own performance.
I am a big believer in setting limits. On all of my apps, I have time limits set. So, if I’m on the socials too long, I get kicked out or-more gently-a question pops asking me if this is a good use of my time. LOL.
The flipside to my limits is setting goals-large and small-so I’m back to writing sprints (happy to do those with you, Lucy!) where I set a timer and for 25 minutes I do nothing but write, take a break and repeat. The pages add up pretty quickly!
RHYS BOWEN: I think we are all finding it hard to focus at the moment, Julia. I’ve been dealing with John’s medical problems as well as all the national news. Actually I’ve withdrawn from any news at the moment. No TV news, no NYT except for Wordle. I’m trying to wean myself off Facebook as I can be sucked into watching too many cute dogs with buttons or travel bits. So one Facebook a day from now on! And I hardly ever do Instagram. But having almost daily chats with my Jungle Red sisters means a lot to me.
I too am writing in short bursts and I’ve given myself permission to be late if necessary (something I have never done in my life). The world won’t fall apart, Penguin books will not stop publishing, if I turn in the next Royal Spyness a month late. I have to come up with the proposal for the next bit standalone pretty soon. No idea. At least I have several ideas flying around but none that has landed on my shoulder yet. These days I want to write something because it gives me great joy to write it, not because it is commercial.
I have found that nature is a great healer and centerer. I go sit on the beach near me or even look out from my balcony for ten minutes. And I’ve been crafting. When you are making a gnome you have to concentrate and there is no place for wild outside thoughts.
HALLIE EPHRON: I’m not even chasing any deadlines but I feel the same… overwhelmed. And while I agree nature is a great healer and centerer, as Rhys says, it doesn’t get the writing and myriad chores done. For me it’s my *reward* for doing the have-to’s. And it is SO gorgeous here in the fall.
That, and I swear by lists, too. These days I need to carry my list (and a pencil) around with me or I’ll have forgotten what I want to add by the time I remember where I left the list. Honestly, if I could have back the time I spend every day LOOKING for [fill in the blank - phone, glasses, to-do list ….] I could probably nail every single item on my list.
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Yes, like Jenn’s app, I ask myself if this is a good use of my time. I’m like a little kid about it–I make deals with myself. I can do Connections and Wordle, and then I set my writing timer for 34 minutes and promise myself that I will do nothing else until 34 minutes is up. Because for me, it’s all about the focus.
And I tell myself–if I can’t even keep a promise to myself, what does that say about my determination?
And the 34 minutes fly by, and I do it again. Because yes, it’s all about getting focus.
I also keep track of my words per day, and I do it, and when I am behind, I say–that’s okay, it’s fine, I know how much I have to write to catch up. It’ll all work, it ALWAYS does, and worrying is not a good use of my time.
DEBORAH CROMBIE: Thanks for broaching this topic today, Julia, because I desperately need these suggestions, too. I have been so distracted, although I’ve tried to stop reading any news other than the headlines as they whiz by. I figure the best thing I can do for the world is to write a good book, and it’s certainly the best thing for me.
But life seems to continually get in the way!!! I’ve got to get back to setting a schedule and doing sprints like Jenn and Hank–in fact, I’m going to copy Hank’s big spreadsheet! Me putting my word count in my planner at the end of the day is just not doing the trick–there are way too many blank days. You know I’m a big fan of Ben Aaronovitch? He tries to hold himself accountable by posting his word count on socials (was on Twitter, now on bksy, I think.) Not sure I’m willing to go that far but I’m inspired by it!
JULIA: Okay, dear readers, now it's your turn. What are your tricks and techniques for taming the distraction monster?
All images courtesy of Freepik
I'm not always good at taming the distraction monster, but turning on music to accompany my task often keeps me centered on what it is that I need to do. No news, less television, and a promise to myself of reading time after I do whatever it is that needs to be done . . . .
ReplyDeleteI'm listening to Maine Public Classical right now as I work, Joan!
DeleteWhen studying for civil service exams and the professional engineer exam, it was KJazz 88.1, the local Cal State Long Beach station. While I like jazz, I rarely listened to it otherwise, so I wasn’t distracted by knowing the words.
DeleteIn front of my laptop is a white board with several lists going (short-term, long-term) that are a mix of work and personal stuff. But above that is a cartoon I cut out long ago. The caption over the top is, "The Muse Most of Us REALLY Need." Below on the right is a stick figure at a desk, fingers on keyboard, staring at the monitor. Behind her is another stick figure pointing a gun at the back of her head saying, "Write the %&!$@# story!!!"
ReplyDeleteIf I'm farting around on the internet instead of writing, I look up at that and ask myself out loud, "Are you a professional writer or not?" Then I get back to work. Good luck with your distractions, Reds!
I haven't slept well for some years. I am a worrier and have a very sad, anxiety-provoking situation in my family that I can't control. So adding in the anxiety post-election has meant nightmares and bad insomnia. I am normally a big consumer of print news. Now I, too, am reading only the headlines.
ReplyDeleteI am rushing to get the farm put to bed for winter, many, many hours of work. I have been soothing my sad, worried mood by listening to old favorite audiobooks. I have just listened to all of Julia's books again. I've listened again to Louise Penny's early books, ditto Dick Francis (Ralph Cosham's voice is a favorite calming drug). I'm now listening to Maeve Binchy. In another week I'll be done with most of the outdoor work and can move inside to my desk. Then I'll stare at the blank page and struggle to focus.
For me success at my desk requires lists, breaking tasks down into achievable goals (sometimes they have to be ridiculously small), a timer, and turning off all browsers. Believe it or not, often I even put on my outdoor hearing protector ear muffs. Muffling the tiny sounds of the house, dogs, husband moving around helps keep me inside my own head.
I'm intrigued by repeated mention of Hank's spreadsheet. Somehow I missed this. Can someone please provide a link? (Selden)
I'm awfully sorry about the difficult family situation Selden. I'm sure many of us can relate. Hank will laugh about her spreadsheet but I'll let her tell it.
DeleteI also use my noise canceling headphones in my apartment when it's noisy upstairs or outside. I am in my own quiet bubble and can concentrate!
DeleteSending calming vibes, Selden, which is about all I can do from here. There is a lot going on that we have no power over, and centering yourself is crucial. Your physical work right now helps a little, I hope.
DeleteThat’s a lot Selden— we are glad you are here. As for the spreadsheet, it’s really not a spreadsheet :-) it’s just a legal pad where I made a grid in pencil and keep track of my words per day. As you say, breaking up
Deletea task into tiny pieces works for me too!
Selden, I read your name and remember our good times in farming. Sure there were too many bad times as well, but I like to remember the lambs and goats under the wood stove warming up and needing another bottle just to live and then the sound of them clopping and dancing around the living room - living room I said, not clean room. There is the foolishness of getting a used pot-bellied pig as a birthday gift that was too big and just too ugly to eat, the smell of a wet sheep in the cold and rain, and always at shearing time, and best of all lying on the damp, straw coated cooking manure pack and just enjoying and cuddling a goat in the peace of the barn. Take the time, and pick your top sensory memories, and if you have a warm manure pack, go and lay your aching limbs (and cry) there. It is the mystery of life.
DeleteSelden, I can so relate to soothing worries with old favorite books. I'm rereading Rosamunde Pilcher: I finished COMING HOME and am now on WINTER SOLSTICE, and they're such a delight. I just wish publishers would let authors write doorstop books again! There's nothing better than picking up a beloved writer and knowing you've got 900 pages to enjoy.
DeleteSelden, so sorry you are having to deal with such sadness. We are here--and that is lovely advice from Margo.
DeleteI have these on Kindle but can never focus. I think I need the actual doorstop copies...
DeleteI may switch over to paper books for a bit to help break my body of the feeling of holding a device in my hand, even if it is showing me a book rather than social media.
DeleteFor doorstop books, have you read Penny Vincenzi? Definitely takes you far away from the dust bunnies and everything else!
DeleteThank you everyone for your kind comments. Margo, I've had both lambs and calves in my kitchen, chicks on the counter and turkey poults in the corner. I have spent a lot of time on a mulch hay/manure pack, delivering various babies. I've just finished the annual muck-out so now the sheep are contributing their mite to build the next one. When overwhelmed my place to lie down has always been the floor of the hayloft, with the barn cat purring on my stomach. One thing that helps me with grief is remembering that everyone carries it. (Selden)
DeleteMy equilibrium, too, has been thrown off by recent events. And nothing good is accomplished by my going crazy. Do you all know the David Whyte poem Start Close In? It's wonderful advice. It has led me to focus closely on the things I can actually affect. The things I can't affect are likely to drive me crazy -- but not if I limit my exposure to news (aiming for twice a day and no TV) and concentrate on things where I can make a difference. That's a much more local focus than I've usually had, but it makes good sense to me.
DeleteI'm not watching any news and have cut back on the news that I read. What's that meme? My need to stay informed is in direction conflict with my need to stay sane? Something like that.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I use Asana's (the free version) calendar on my computer as a to-do list. And I've been participating in Sisters in Crime's November Marathon in place of NaNoWriMo, working on completing my edits since the book is due December 1. They're using a program called Pacemaker to track words, pages, whatever, and I'm considering upgrading to the paid version to track my various projects.
Annette, I hadn't heard that saying, but I totally understand it. And I'm not familiar with Pacemaker, but if you think highly of it, I'll give it a look!
DeleteI think I'll stick with Hank's spreadsheet. It seems like the more electronic solutions I try, the more distracted I am.
DeleteJulia, try the free version first to make sure it doesn't drive you crazy.
DeleteDebs, I agree, which is why I can't yet bring myself to push the button on the paid version. I mean, do I REALLY need it? Still playing with the free version for now.
Regular daily routine before breakfast & coffee. When I wake up, I play NYTimes Spelling Bee (until I reach Genius level) & then do Connections. As a reward for working my brain, I then go to read & post on JRW.
ReplyDeleteI also have a daily step count goal of 12,000. Being outdoors is relaxing.
And I have greatly reduced the amount of time I am on social media each day.
I have a friend/accountability partner who will get on zoom or google meets with me while we work on our writing - we chat for 5 minutes and then leave the window open while we both write silently.
DeleteGrace, I am excited to hear about the NYT Spelling Bee and going to check it out today! That sounds like a great way to start to day. Something to focus on and clear my mind.
DeleteFYI, the free version of Spelling Bee will only allow you to play partway before you are locked out. I have a discounted NYTimes monthly subscription to Games & Food.
DeleteIn my case, it has helped to stop playing those games. Who knows why, but I was getting really stressed over them.
DeleteI gave up playing Wordle last year since I was getting annoyed at some of the words! I am laser-focused and not stressed playing Spelling Bee. I reached Queen Bee today which doesn't happen often.
DeleteSome groupings in Connections can be lame but I am ok with that.
Queen bee??? QUEEN BEE??? How did I not know about that. I do Spelling Bee every day but only occasionally do I find a pangram. Games can be the reward for accomplishing the chores.
DeleteIt's rare for me to find ALL the words. Only reached Queen Bee 15 times out of 422 games played. ;-)
DeleteGrace, I noticed that sometimes the winning word in the daily Wordle are strange to me and I wonder if whoever came up with the word for Wordle that day was in a bad mood.
DeleteI’m addicted to the NYT Spelling Bee. Right now I’m in a slump (in life, not with the Spelling Bee) and I only made it to Genius once last week. There are so many things on my mind right now.It’s been a couple of months since I reached Queen Bee.
DeleteI’m also a fan of Wordle and Connections and Strands.
I enjoy these games as ways to feed my brain and to stay away from the news. I’m restricting myself to reading headlines, although headlines are often disturbing. If I have the radio on in the car, I turn it off when the news comes on. It’s hard to believe that I once read three or four newspapers per day!
DebRo
I quit the games. I realized I was finding them very stressful. I hated being wrong of not being able to figure out the answer to something and it would bug me all day when I should be thinking about my book.
DeleteReds, your suggestions will surely help one another to stay focused on your writing and your chores. I agree that reading the headlines about what is going on here is more than unsettling. But I must engage in any activity I can to help restore sanity. I am in communication with every environmental group you can think of because we have one Earth. Also, I am terrified by the antisemitism that I am seeing around the world and how most media are telling every story from one side alone, making victims into perpetrators, turning people into Jew-haters. Europe looks like the 1930's and I cannot hide from that news because it is about my people. So, my chores are actually saving me time I would spend worrying.
ReplyDeleteJudy, as I told a friend who is equally committed to action, it's one of the best ways to channel anxiety and fear. To reflect it in the sphere of working/writing, I can see the thing that reduces my anxiousness about everything I need to get done is DOING the work.
DeleteJudy, my daughter is an environmental activist in Maine and I follow issues closely and also donate to various organizations. Do you get Bill McKibben's substack? He's really great with the big picture. Meanwhile I taught the lead-up to the Holocaust to 8th graders for years and I too am horrified by the current echo of the 1930s. Bless you for continuing to push for sanity. (Selden)
DeleteThanks, Julia. I am definitely rattled but feel that I can't quit.
DeleteSelden, thank you for your encouraging words and for the work you did educating youngsters about the lead-up to the Holocaust. Most people in the US in the 1930's did not give a hoot about the actions taken in Germany and just wanted the US to stay out of it. To witness what is going on now, is disheartening. What does "never again" mean?
Exactly. I had taught the kids about Lindbergh and "America First" and then they heard a certain presidential candidate using the same infamous phrase! It has only gotten worse. I blame bad history teaching. So many people don't understand. I often wonder what my former students think, how much they remember of the lessons on how fascists rose to power. I'm sure they remember how it all ended. (Selden)
DeleteOn Sunday afternoon I make a list of everything non-writing related for the coming week: chores, phone calls, yard work. And I find everything I need for a week's worth of writing (lots of short story edits right now) and line up the piles of paper and notebooks. Other than morning headlines, no news till PBS at 7pm.
ReplyDeleteMargaret, I have a friend who does a Sunday round up/weekly planning with her husband, and she swears by it. She's also, along with Celia, the most organized person I know.
DeleteI try to do Sunday round up, but so often the day runs out and I am exhausted from the weekend chores. Must try harder at this one!
DeleteJulia, in case you are not aware there is a special button on your phone to push when you want to close out the world. I'm talking about the OFF button. Try it! If you can't bring yourself to such an extreme, put it on DO NOT DISTURB; it will still let you receive calls from those you specify. Or you can set it to SLEEP for the specific times you decide. Then, sit down and write. As Debs said, the world needs more good books and yours definitely qualify!
ReplyDeleteJudi, I left by phone in the bathroom (accidentally) before coming downstairs to the animal routine and working. I slapped my pocket, realized I didn't have it, and thought, okay then, I'll leave it up there for a few hours!
DeleteFrom Celia: sometimes one just needs another to sit and breathe with. ( sorry poor Grammer).
ReplyDeleteI’m sitting with you. I’m overwhelmed on so many fronts, a number of which I have no control over. But I have stuck with a few tried and true. ONE list for the week of things that must be done. A regular Data Dump to clear ones head of all the twittering birds flying round which includes the news, social media etc etc. Use a timer and reward yourself with?
Most of all be kind to yourself. Unless it’s going to land you in jail most stuff can be allowed a little slippage.
I guess this means I should prioritize getting my car inspected, since it's three months overdue... :-D
DeleteOr you could just stay home, Julia, LOL. Who needs groceries?
DeleteI find that there seem to be more people needing my attention, and for what seems like all the time – worse than when I had kids and a farm. I used to listen to audiobooks to calm me down, but as you know, Libby is giving me grief! I found a kid (age 40) yesterday to see if he could help me, but he has no idea about audiobooks, but for some reason knows someone in the library who might help. Meanwhile I found a link to possibly using Firefox as the download – today’s worm hole. I used to use cooking as my valve release, but I find that the mind is flitting and what seems good this minute, gets deleted the next – and then it is scrambled eggs again for supper. So, for me, if the incoming would stop coming, and the rain would stop falling, and the dahlias would finally get brought in, and the puzzle table would get cleaned off – then I would be happy! Oh, and I got Grey Wolf last night, and now I have to fix that stupid Libby. I fear it will go pouf on me. Good luck all. All together now – a collective deep breath – ahhh.
ReplyDeleteJust so you have an idea why I am so disjointed when replying – I usually read the essay, ponder and write my reply, and then read the replies usually before I post – so sometimes new thoughts come through. Anyway – on days when I really need calming down or someone just there, I Skype child #3. He lives in Vancouver – other end of Canada – and while I am in afternoon, he is in morning. He works from home. He puddles at his work, and I puddle doing whatever – often the puzzle, but whatever. For both of us we are both in ‘the house’ together, and conversation, if there is any flows like that. Often there is “going for coffee’ or “got to go to the bathroom – keep talking”, and then togetherness resumes. No one cares or is insulted if the next thing is “got to go” – click. Maybe this would work if some on you need a writing-buddy. Worth a try!
Margo, that sounds like such a lovely idea! My youngest is in The Hague, six hours ahead of me, and my morning work hours are often her afternoon reading/studying hours. We could video on WhatsApp and keep each other company!
DeleteLists and timers to DO things. Walks to GET AWAY from doing things. Definitely NO pinging notifications on my phone for anything. All that and a general plan for one key thing: in December, I want to focus on revising a specific essay that I want to re-submit in January. I'm thinking about it now, but won't begin the work until my teaching is done Dec. 2nd. This approach helps me NOT think every day that I should be working on it; no - not until December.
ReplyDeleteAmanda, Celia helps me with data dumps that do the same thing for me. If it's on paper, it can be safely out of my mind. I know there's a planned time for tackling it, so I can put it aside for now. SO conducive to mental stillness!
DeleteCan you and Celia explain a bit more about the data dump?
DeleteFrom Celia: Debs I'd be very happy to talk about data dumps, either directly with you or a small group. Julia can be our go between.
DeleteNot one, but three of my closest friends have been diagnosed with some form of dementia in the last few months, and one of them is very close to leaving us. That's on top of a sticky, long ongoing family situation that makes me crazy, one daughter starting a new business, and then all the crap going on in this country and elsewhere. I just don't have the bandwidth to deal with all of it right now. Thank God I don't have a writing deadline on top of all this, I'd be baldheaded.
ReplyDeleteSo far I've kept busy with party aftermath (I'm hoping to have all the Halloween decorations stored away again by tomorrow), gardening stuff, and reading, reading, reading. A daily nap is almost mandatory, since sleep at night is a rare commodity, for both me and my husband. Geez, we must be old, our first topic of conversation every morning is about how we slept.
Trying really hard not to worry, and to support our friends' spouses and family members with what they are going through, which is way more than what we are. Keeping perspective is a high priority. As I said to Grace above, I quit playing the NYT games during their worker strike, and the relief was so huge I decided not to go back, at least for now. That little bit of stress over "winning" was just too much at the moment.
Oh Karen, you are carrying a heavy load.... puts things in perspective.
DeleteKaren, I feel for you. For many of us, there's an overload of stuff to deal with. This, right here, JRW every morning, let's me know each of us is surrounded by an honest-to-goodness caring community--even if we never meet face-to-face.
DeleteThank you both. This community really helps, in particular as I slowly lose longtime friends and what made them shine to a horrible void. It's a huge comfort to have friends who share many enthusiasms and concerns to exchange pleasantries and laughs with.
DeleteKaren, sending you virtual love and support from Maine. Dementia is such a heartbreaking disease - stealing your loved one before your eyes. Be kind to yourself, take time for yourself, and throw anything not completely necessary out the window.
DeleteOh, Karen, I am so sorry. Dementia is the worst. Heartbreaking, worse than loosing a friend to sudden death, I think. We are sending you love and support. xx
DeleteFrom Celia: Karen, I'm sitting with you and just breathing. I have some knowledge of what you're experiencing and the stress is very high. My coping which comes with 4 years on this trajectory has taught me to be kind to myself, be prepared to rest when my body says enough, and not blame myself when I don't accomplish all on the list. For example I've decided no Christmas tree this year, but I will hang a wreath of red berries made locally and string a ribbon for my few ornaments. So pruning, rethinking what's important which is my husband's failing health and taking some time for myself. Would love to connect with you via Facebook.
DeleteMessage sent, Celia.
DeleteI'm not one to give advice on this, as I have tasks out there that I have been meaning to do for years! I like having a daily routine, but also realize that so many minutes and hours of my life are taken up with my routines.Which pieces are helpful to me and which should be quietly discarded? Nature keeps me grounded, and will always be part of my life.
ReplyDeleteI can't really disconnect from the news because too many friends could be in danger come January 20. If (as the incoming administration has said they are going to) they do away with TPS and humanitarian parole, then suddenly people who have permission to live and work here are "illegals" alongside others who have quietly lived here and raised families for 25 years or more. Anyway, our church is making plans to stand with our friends, and that's where my heart and priorities lie right now. At least it's a good excuse not to get my basement cleaned out.
Gillian, I think part of the way of dealing with "too much of everything!!!!" is to focus on one thing, one action, and put it into practice. Yours sound like a good choice.
DeleteAs concerned as I am about the state of the world, this is one of those times when I'm glad I live in Switzerland rather than the US. Our elections don't affect every country in the world, plus the planet. Sorry, Julia, this doesn't help you to concentrate; it only helps ME to feel less stressed. I have no new advice to add since everyone else has already said what I would say: check tasks off lists, give yourself reasonable tasks and small rewards, exercise out of doors, get enough sleep (who can write when they're sleepy"?), and stand up and stretch every half hour. I also wear earplugs against noise sometimes. GOOD LUCK!
ReplyDeleteKim, thank you for the stand up and stretch reminder! I'm the worst at doing that, and I know I need to regularly.
DeleteI don’t think of it as writing a book – – that’s way too hard! I think of it is writing two pages a day. Too Pages! Anyone can do that. And the next day, write two more. And it’s all about addition. And you can never stop at two, because once you are into it, you are into it. but if you do, that’s fine too . Your only requirement is to write two pages.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great way to approach it, Hank. When I was struggling to finish the first draft of the new book, I would set a time for half an hour. You can endure anything for half an hour, right? And of course, by the end of thirty minutes, I was into it, and kept going.
DeleteI tend to be the opposite of Hallie. Writing is the primary task and the reward afterward is that I get to go to the gym, knit, read, or putter in my garden if I get my pages done.
ReplyDeleteJenn, I am continually in awe of your productivity, especially since I know that until the last few years, you were writing with teens in the house!
DeleteList maker here. Every Sunday I list all my writing goals, appointments, personal gotta dos and then transfer them to my various calendars. Sometimes it even works!
ReplyDeleteYou're the third person I now know who does this, Kait. I haven't picked up the habit because I like to think of Sunday as my day off, but it would be nice to hit the week with a plan.
DeleteMany wonderful suggestions, everyone! Thank you! Books are my solace. I can escape for a few hours though reading books, so thank you to all of the authors (JRW and commenters) for writing books! I saw something on social media the other day about connecting with nature. Perhaps going outdoors in a safe space (no road traffic) can help. I'm taking online classes from my local Bar Method and exercising. I TRY to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep.
ReplyDeleteFocus on the good things. I find that writing stories help! I am also going through Menopause and I'm keeping a journal of my menopause experiences. And my decluttering project continues! I love the idea of knitting! I have a bag of knitting supplies and I have been meaning to get back to knitting. First things first! Declutter, then it is possible for me to sit in the living room and knit!
Diana, several other friends are amazing knitters, including one who sold designs and was the editor of Cast On Magazine (and for whom I did several interviews of designers). My passion was always sewing, but knitting is so much more portable, and I've always admired anyone with the ability to create intricate knit patterns. I hope you get to immerse yourself in your craft again!
DeleteDiana, "focus on the good things" is excellent advice when you're feeling troubled. I started gratitude journaling when my life went off the cliff in 2015, and I found it SO essential to my mental health I started giving blank journals to my kids and to friends as presents!
DeleteKaren in Ohio and Julia, thank you!
DeleteShort note here. I find myself spending far too much time on games in my phone, which is not good, I could be reading or I could be doing needlepoint. Cleaning the house would be good too. During the last presidency of the one who is the incoming president, I found myself watching less and less news so I wasn't as aware of the medical event as I should have been. This week will have to a week of lists as I prepare for Thanksgiving. Hopefully the lists will distract me from the games.
ReplyDeleteDeana, my two online games are a real weak spot for me. I think my brain craves those little dopamine hits, and once I start, it's really really hard to stop. I'm trying to break the habit by using Freedom for my laptop and keeping my phone just enough out of reach that I can't pick it up in a moment of boredom or frustration.
DeleteJulia, the one tip I can vouch for is one mentioned several times already--noise-canceling headphones. They not only shut out the outside noise, but somehow they shut out the inside chatter too. I've used them and find that after a bit, I can take them off and zip right along with what I'm trying to accomplish.
ReplyDeleteReading about how so many of us are dealing with so much on our plates these days, I want to repeat what I said earlier--while we have family and close friends nearby, having this online, caring community is something I treasure.
In my own life, I decided to self-publish my writing. This can be stressful, because there's always this voice in the back of my head asking me, why bother? My novels will never be bestsellers! Why am I doing this to myself? Because I can empathize with Rhys' wish: "These days I want to write something because it gives me great joy to write it, not because it is commercial." So far, I've released a middle-grade fantasy, two historical suspense novels, an historical novella, and just this weekend, an adult cozy fantasy. In the works is a sequel to a 4-volume cozy fantasy series (all of which I hope to publish), serious rewriting of a third historical suspense novel, a standalone fantasy, and a new historical novella. The first historical novella grew out of my genealogy research, and there are other stories there that keep bubbling to the surface. I foresee several more novellas in my future. These represent years of effort, and it gives me great joy to have a reader come back and tell me how much they enjoyed something I've written. And that joy definitely helps me get through these days.
Flora, I love this! And yes, giving ourselves permission to seek joy is vital. I think it can be hard for women in particular: we're often socialized to put everyone else ahead of ourselves.
DeleteFlora, yes self publish it is worth it. Some of the favorite mystery series that my husband and I read are self published. We like the characters, settings and plots. They may not all be great literature, but they are enjoyable. We each have multiple degrees and also read a lot of academic nonfiction so we do have varied tastes
DeleteYes do self publish. Marjorie
How wonderful, Flora, and kudos to you! And that sounds like a body of work to be proud of!!
DeleteThank you all! And if anyone is curious, I write as Emma Charles for all things historical and as L.F. Chiesa for fantasy.
DeleteThanks for sharing your writer names and genres. I will look for your works.
DeleteThanks, Judy!!
DeleteI’m not a writer so any page count I perhaps could set would be as a reader and that would only be to get me to put down the book and “do something”. As I’ve mentioned before, we moved back into our newly remodeled house. Now that my husband isn’t as busy with work, he’s actually helping me empty boxes which is a great motivator for me. (Left to my own devices, I can fritter away a day with nothing tangible to show for it.) I was finally at a point where I was going to get my bookcases set up when I discovered that the pegs that hold the shelves are nowhere to be found. My husband’s unhelpful comment is that “they’re in little sandwich bags somewhere”….
ReplyDeleteAs for the news, I am avoiding it like the plague I fear is coming. I cancelled my NYT subscription except for the Food app so I don’t have the games to distract me. Our son and daughter-in-law are coming for Christmas so that’s another motivation for getting the house put together. (Side note: we live in an area that goes all out decorating the yards for Christmas. I mean to the point tour buses go down our streets to see the decorations every December. For the approximately thirty years this has been happening, we have all decorated the weekend after Thanksgiving. Occasionally there’s an ambitious neighbor who in years like this one where Thanksgiving is later might decorate the weekend before. I don’t know if my neighbors are also trying to distract themselves from what’s going on in the country or what, but a number have their decorations up already. I’ve even seen Christmas trees in some windows! Very strange.)
Lastly, I am going to try to figure out how to set time limits on my apps, as Jenn suggests. — Pat S
I've been seeing Christmas trees though windows already, Pat! That surprised me, but again, seeking joy is good, and Christmas cheer cam be very joyful. I don't decorate until the start of Advent, but I confess I've started watching those Hallmark Christmas movies...
DeleteGood luck finding the little sandwich bag with the pegs! :-)
Christmas decorations going up here, too!
DeleteI am normally scattered. I have adopted the motto of "I will not do this chore before its time." It gets done eventually when time is called.
ReplyDeleteOrson Welles' Paul Masson wine ads back in the 70s, Pat! "We will serve no wine before its time."
DeleteExactly! Today's Ziggy cartoon also had good advice: The key to getting through tough times is making the least of the worst....and the most of the least!!
DeleteI vaguely remember an author (Martha Grimes, maybe?) creating a character who chained herself to a desk for a few hours every day to write. If that's too much, I've found that when I need to sit at my desk and focus on something, I listen to a Spotify playlist on very low volume. It's my signal that I have to do work for a bit (nothing like writing a novel that you know people are impatiently waiting for!) I only listen to this playlist when I need to keep my bum in that chair! It usually helps.
ReplyDeleteOh, that's a clever idea, Anon. Like Pavlovian conditioning, sort of: the music plays, and I do the thing.
DeleteI use music to focus as well. It has to be instrumental or my brain goes into the weeds of lyrics quickly.
DeleteAnd headphones help!
As with everyone- yep too much dismal distraction around. Very little news!
No alerts from social media.
This is a valuable and therapeutic exchange.
(Heather S)
I schedule time for my distractions. Email and social media get checked three times a day, and the notifications are otherwise switched off. If anything is more urgent than that, somebody’s just gonna have to go old-school and phone me.
ReplyDeleteOh, I need this, Sandra. My kids are grown and gone, I'm not going to be their first or only call if something happens, so I don't need to be available at all times anymore.
DeleteI, also, am not a writer, but have learned over the years that there are some things I just have to let happen in their own time. I tend to be spiritually based, not religion, just the Universe and the bounty it holds. As I've mentioned before, I am currently living in my car and that actually forces its own set of boundaries in my life. In addition, I am an empath and therefore subject to the array of emotions generated by recent events. When all of that short circuits my brain, I take a trip down a music video rabbit hole. For me, an hour or two of Pentatonix music videos soothes my soul and reminds me that diversity is alive and well (just look at the members of that group) and the video they did of "Imagine" reminds me to have hope. That restores my soul and allows me to reengage with life and be the best me I can be. Give yourself permission to be human, Julia. Sometimes you need the angst you are feeling to be processed and it might find its way into your writing. Remember, everything happens for a reason. Embrace where you are and who you are. -- Victoria
ReplyDeleteVictoria, what a beautiful view on life and its joys!
DeleteOn a friend's FB post yesterday, she was commenting on needing to get things done, and one person replied that they felt frozen. That describes me pretty much, too, frozen and unable to move to get anything done. I did get the books I weeded some time ago in a tub to take away. Although we're going out to eat for Thanksgiving, my daughter's family will be stopping by here, and I am trying to make some goals to clear up some stuff, like uncover the dining room table, which hasn't seen the light of day since our tragedy. I want to have the coffee table cleared, the foyer cleared (which is better that it was), and the bathroom clean. Shut doors are my plans for the bedrooms. I'm thinking of putting up decorative ropes, like they do in museum areas where you can't enter, across the doors, too, so there will be no accidental entering. Honestly, to get something done, I have to take small steps, like I will have the coffee table cleared by tomorrow. Karen, I have a friend who is starting to have worse dementia problems. She called me yesterday to see if we'd bought our tickets to the Broadway series at our local performance venue, and she had been the one to make it a priority for us to do a couple of months ago. I really can't lose her, as she is my rock. Also, our precious Lulu dog is not doing well at all. She can no longer walk, and we are using diapers for her now. We are getting cold laser treatments for her and a few other things to see if there can be any improvement, and she is still eating, hand fed, and drinking water. We even have a stroller in which she can lie down to take her outside. But, I know there will come a time in the not too distant future that we have to think about quality of life. Too many losses are definitely distracting me. I don't bother with the news in any format. I might be accused of being apathetic, but my brain and heart can only handle so much.
ReplyDeleteYou have to honor your brain and heart, Kathy. You do what you can and let the rest slide. Holidays are hard. I've found them easier and easier as the years go by, and I hope that happens for you and Philip.
DeleteOh, Kathy, I'm so sorry. Honey, you can call me, any time.
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ReplyDeleteRhys, you've inspired me to set app timers on the apps that most sap my time - thank you!
ReplyDeleteJenn, love the sprint idea
Have heard it mentioned elsewhere for writing but you're the first writer with a serious career who I've seen mention it
Thank you for that tip - gonna try that
Julia, dust doesn't spoil. It will wait until you get to it.
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh out loud, Libby!
DeleteClassical music helps me calm and focus, and I was profusely grateful to the hospital nurse who found classical for me on the TV. I hadn't expected it. In my busy teaching years one strategy was setting personal deadlines ahead of the real ones for grades and such, a margin of safety in case of problems. In these troubled times, getting anything done is worth celebrating. -- Storyteller Mary
ReplyDeleteSometimes one small goal or task at a time helps me. (I’m just going to clean out this one shelf or one drawer); based on that idea I do like the timer suggestions of the Reds. A class I took once suggested drawing yourself surrounded by several rectangles on a piece of paper when you feel overwhelmed - one each for all the things you need to do or are worried about - and then writing within each box the steps needed or that could help. (e.g. if a box is cleaning - a step could be dust in living room; scrub bathroom sink; if a box is dealing with stress - a step could be take a walk, meditate for 5 mins); It gets it out of your mind, and just doing that can feel good. Then I found that I would take at least some of the steps without effort or thinking about it too much.
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