Thoughts on New Year's Eve

 LUCY BURDETTE: It’s New Year’s Eve, and I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than answer serious questions. Like get your black-eyed peas ready or drink champagne? However…you can make them quick!

1. What might you want to leave in darkness as we move into the days of more light? 

2. What do you want to bring forward with you into the New Year? 

My #1 would be anger and hatred and negative news. For #2, I’d like to be kinder and more patient!

Reds? Over to you!

RHYS BOWEN: last year’s health worries. We started the year with radiation and knee surgery and ended it with all those doctor appointments. 

I’d like to bring forward enjoying the small things every day like the view from my balcony or my cup of tea and a good cookie in the afternoon.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I feel I’m ending the old year on a good note - my children are all healthy and happy, I have a new daughter in law that I love, I’ve been held up and helped out by friends, and I finished both the manuscript and its edits. So, leave behind? Dithering. When I need to do something, I do, and it feels so good! I want to banish the faffing about I do when I’m feeling anxious about work and, as Nike says, Just. Do. It.

Take with me into the New Year? Time spent with family and friends. In the end, that’s what it all comes down to.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Leave in darkness: The world’s dogmatic inflexibility and stupidity and cruelty. We have too much of that. 

Bring forward: Good health, definitely.  Optimism, confidence, and I know this is strange, but I’d love to have more…carefree fun. 

HALLIE EPHRON: Leave behind? Definitely health issues. I DO NOT WANT TO GET ANOTHER BOUT OF COVID OR BIRD FLU or whatever new scourge gets unleashed.

Bring forward: Watching my grandkids do their goofy stuff and not boring other people by going on and on about it. Also finding new friends: I’m in the market for them, so watch out, and cherishing the ones I have. They’re my lifeline in these crazy times.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Leave behind? Health issues!! This has been a one-thing-after-another year and I am more than ready to move past it! Also, enough of the all the hatred and outrage. World events may well be deserving of the outrage, but my little physical self cannot be a vehicle.

Bring forward? Doing my bit to make the world a little better, like donating to folks who actually CAN make a difference. I want to enjoy nature and my friends and family more, especially my darling granddaughter who is growing up so fast!

JENN McKINLAY: Leaving behind? Sugar (sob). My labs just came back and I'm still pre-diabetic (my numbers suddenly spiked last year and rose again this year) and I'm now teetering right on the brink of diabetes. I rarely drink alcohol, I loathe soda, I drink my coffee black, so it's my life long candy addiction that is coming for me. 

Bringing forward? New activities (paddle boarding) and adventures (a research trip to London!) and enjoying art, music, nature, my family and friends, and, apparently, sugarless food and drink. LOL. 

as seen in Key West

Reds, we'd love to hear what you're leaving behind and bringing forward! We are so grateful to have you as our friends and readers!

Does the World Change Your Reading?

LUCY BURDETTE: Do events in the world or the time of year change the kinds of books you’re reading? The answer is, yes of course, for me. However I didn’t realize it was an actual trend called healing fiction. I first noticed these books in a bookstore in Copenhagen last June. I bought one of them for my sister for Christmas (thinking I’d read it first of course.) Then when this title was released: We’ll Prescribe You a Cat, how could I resist? But I definitely find myself reading more light-hearted mysteries—Rhys’s We Three Queens is perfect—and light women’s fiction/rom com. (For that I highly recommend Laura Hankin’s One-Star Romance and Kristan Higgins’ Look on the Bright Side.) I can read darker mysteries, but it helps if they have characters I know and love, such as the books of Ann Cleeves and William Kent Kreuger.

How about you Reds, does your reading change when the world feels dark?

RHYS BOWEN: Absolutely! Having been so stressed about John and the election and the future I’ve found myself rereading books I know have happy endings and are definitely escapist like Mary Stewart. I loved REMARKABLY BRIGHT CREATURES and am waiting to read the sequel to the House on the Cerulean Sea. Right now I’m starting THE SALT PATH.  A travel/ inspirational journal set in Cornwall

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I tend to re-read when life is stressed, unless it’s a new book I’ve been excitedly waiting for. (At this time of year, I highly recommend Goodreads Most Anticipated Books list. I guarantee you’ll find something that will give you the strength to carry on until the release date.) I love revisiting the works of Rosamunde Pilcher, Lois McMaster Bujold, Eva Ibbotson and more recently, the delightful Murderbot novellas by Martha Wells. There are books that get better every time you read them, and I cherish those!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Ah, it really doesn’t, I have to say. I am still in my lane. BUT I did read a fascinating article in the Boston Globe today about the top ten books taken out of the Boston Public Library in 2024. Nine out of 10 were by women, AND  the librarian was quoted as saying  the most-borrowed books “centered on women’s experiences” and “stories of human resilience.” And also: “readers gravitated toward narratives exploring real-life challenges–heartbreak, mental health, family dynamics, and personal growth, but particularly women’s stories.” (Lucy are you finding some ammo here??xxx) 

HALLIE EPHRON: Women authors are definitely having their moment. I keep finding “TEN BEST…” lists in which more are by women authors.

I’ve been so stressed that I’ve resorted to rereading my favorite children’s books. Starting with The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and moving on to Peter and Wendy and on to Alice Through the Looking Glass and on to Wind in the Willows. I’ve never been able to read dark books. With the exception of Stephen King. Somehow he always sounds as if he’s got his tongue planted firmly in his cheek when that snake comes bursting out of the bathtub drain.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Oh, definitely, Lucy, both for reading and watching. A friend just recommended a dystopian sci-fi series to me and I said, "Nope, no dystopian, thank you." Ten years ago, maybe, I'd have been all in.  Now I pretty much want to read life-affirming and hope-affirming things. And books with characters I love, even if they are sometimes difficult and prickly. I adored Remarkably Bright Creatures, which was recommended to me by my daughter. I reread, too, and Hallie has just made me want to pick up my copy of The Wind in the Willows.

JENN McKINLAY: I saw a hilarious reel the other day where the woman asks, “Are you in your granny era, where you just want to read fantasy, do cozy crafts, and watch Pride and Prejudice?” *pause* “Me, too, come on in.” It was very relatable, but I don’t have specific comfort reads. I read in all genres (because I write in all genres) so it really comes down to the author’s voice and the story for me. I also don’t reread very often - too many stories, too little time.

How about you Red Readers?

Year End Thoughts.

Rhys Bowen:  Only two more days until the end of the year–a year I won’t be sorry to see disappear. So I’m thinking what I might have learned, or accepted this year.

Things that have been hard to accept:

1: That the world does not come to an end if I forget to do Wordle for one day and thus spoil my winning streak of 89. 

2: That I do not have control over my universe, that plans will be altered or canceled and I just have to make the best of it.

And what do I have to work on next year?

1. That my writing is not how I define myself. That in the long run bestseller lists, numbers sold, fan bases are not what I should be obsessing about. I should be able to slow down, not check numbers so often and walk away if I want to.

2. That I should enjoy every moment for what it is, even if it’s cooking in my kitchen with my husband who is currently being annoying at the way I’ve sliced the onions. It might be a precious memory one day.

Now it’s your turn, Reds. What have you learned this year? Come to accept? Been able to walk away from? 

LUCY BURDETTE: Ha ha, for me it would be that the world doesn’t come to an end if I don’t keep up with every twist and turn of the news. It only freezes me. I will know when I need to reconnect and reactivate. 

I need to work on spending less time on Facebook and more on reading!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: HA! I love you so much, Rhys–I was crushed at the end of my 44 day streak on Wordle. SO unhappy! But then I thought, great, the pressure is off. I do have a good streak on Connections, though.

Hard to accept: That the harder I work does not necessarily result in a better outcome. But sometimes it does, and you never know.

2. That it’s not my responsibility to try to make everyone totally happy all the time. But sometimes it is, and you never know.

Working on: Realizing that everything WILL get accomplished, at least the things that really need to be, so stop fretting about it.  And yes, Rhys, the precious memories. SO wise.

HALLIE EPHRON: 

LEARNED. That I’m mortal… and the best thing about staying in my house is having enough beds for visitors.

 COME TO ACCEPT: That I still have no idea how to cook for more than 4 people. And that finding the (often) elusive main character arc is crucial to writing a good story.

 BEEN ABLE TO WALK AWAY FROM: Deadlines. The ones I set for myself and that others set for me. 

(RHYS: HALLIE, I've just been hosting 15 people for a week. I was found staring at stalks of Brussels Sprouts murmuring how many sprouts per person? I just can't visualize food for that many people. However it did work out brilliantly and nobody starved.)

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I’ve been reminded that I do not have control over so many things! Not in the wider world, and not in my own little universe. Life can smack you upside the head when you least expect it! 

But along with that I’ve been reminded that you should enjoy all the little moments, and that people can be so kind! I’ve also been reminded of how much I LOVE writing, what an amazing, rapturous thing it can be (except for those days when it feels like trudging through a bog, of course, but that is okay, too…)

And I’m thrilled to learn that Hallie has never learned to cook for more than four people, because I thought I was the only one. So maybe that is one ambition I can walk away from.

JENN McKINLAY: LEARNED: That happiness is a choice–no matter the circumstance–and that joy is an act of resistance. 

COME TO ACCEPT: That my mom was right and I quote “This, too, shall pass” no matter what “this” is. Everything has a season and all seasons end.

BEEN ABLE TO WALK AWAY FROM: Unreasonable expectations of myself. The world will not end if I write one less book per year. 

RHYS: You're looking at a list from over-achievers! All stressed about meeting our deadlines, living up to expectations.  We all need to learn to chill, obviously! Another thing that haunts me is letting fans down.  How silly. I do my best and if it's not enough, it's not enough.

Having watched Love Actually again I've now decided that my mantra will be "ENOUGH."   It need not be more!

And we should have added what we're grateful for. Here is my family Christmas pic.

So REDDIES: your turn:

Lessons from--Titanic?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Today we are talking about the Titanic. Kind of.  And keep reading for an answer to the Titanic question that I am sure is always on your mind.

But first, the wonderful Valerie Biel is offering champagne today! Okay, virtual champagne—and we hope you will join in her toast.

And then, below, we'll discuss a burning controversy. Seriously.

“Having Champagne with You Fine People”

  By Valerie Biel

I love a good story—I’m not picky about the method of delivery. They all have their place in the world from a dinner table retelling of a day’s high or low points, to a great movie or TV series or to a wonderful novel in any format.  (Although I do love the way a hard cover cracks open so satisfyingly.)

I read a lot of books, sometimes as many as five a week. But I also watch a lot of movies, and often reference movie lines in conversation—which is either annoying or fun—depending mostly on whether you get the reference.

Why is this important? I have a point, I promise. (Are you picturing Reese Witherspoon in the courtroom in Legally Blonde saying that line? ha ha) When Hank Phillippi Ryan offered a guest blog post here with you fine people (hint/hint), a scene from Titanic popped into my mind.

You know the one where Jack is sitting around the dining table as a reward for saving Rose from ‘falling’ off the bow of the ship?

Ruth [Rose’s mom]  And you find that sort of rootless existence appealing, do you?

Jack: [to Ruth and other guests dining at their table] Well, yes, ma'am, I do... I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people. I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count.

[And then they all go on to toast making each day count!]

I LOVE that scene.

When I shifted gears to fiction writing 15  years ago—it was for exactly that reason—to make each day count.

I’d been mainly working as a political fundraiser, which is not the most fun occupation, when our family was hit with a big loss. Two of my sisters died from the same rare and aggressive cancer a few years apart. This was all deeply heart-wrenchingly sad—we’ve all lost people we love and know that horrible grip of grief. It was time to reevaluate my life. I was simply done with doing something I didn’t like all that much. And I think my sisters would be happy to know they helped give me a kick in the butt to move forward with my writing.

Have I made each day count?  I’ll be the first to admit that some days have ‘counted’ more than others! But I’ve tried to live that way and be grateful for the time to create stories and build the worlds that (hopefully) come alive and entertain my readers.

And I truly love writing novels. I love the process (most of the time.) I definitely love the magical days when you have that ‘ah-ha’ moment for the best plot twist. Aren’t those the best?!

One thing I never could have imagined is the large and supportive writing community I’ve ended up being a part of because—as I’ve learned—writers are excellent people who go out of their way to help each other. You all know that here at Jungle Red Writers! So many individual friendships, collaborations, and partnerships! Then there are the organizations that have been instrumental to my success and survival as a writer … SCBWI, Sisters in Crime, the Blackbird Writers, Wisconsin Writers Association and more. All offering camaraderie and feedback . . . and if needed, navigational assistance to steer clear of proverbial icebergs. (I couldn’t help one more Titanic reference.)

Most important of all though are all the readers who have been willing to spend their money on my stories and especially those who have been willing to tell other people about them. That’s one of the very cool things about being a writer.

As authors, I feel we’re continually on the grandest adventure in the world having champagne with exceptionally fine people and toasting to making each day count!

[Author note: In my opinion, that door was definitely big enough for both of them!]

HANK: Toasting you all, too! And this is perfect timing, Valerie— Reds and readers, tell us one thing you are grateful for today!

And ha, ha-- you all know what Valerie is talking about right? Some people think Jack could have joined Rose on the door/debris floating on the North Atlantic, and they both could have survived. Apparently now the consensus is—can you believe we are talking about this?-- that they could have fit, but then it wouldn’t have floated.

Aren’t you glad you came to the blog today? Did you know about this controversy?

 

Valerie Biel is the author of the mystery-suspense novel Beyond the Cemetery Gate, named one of the Top 100 Indie Books of 2024 by Shelf Unbound Magazine. Her other novels include the award-winning Circle of Nine series and  middle-grade novel, Haven. She uses her powers for good and manages publicity and marketing efforts for other authors. When she’s not sitting behind a computer, she’s reading (or watching a movie), wrangling her overgrown garden, and traveling the world—often on trips for the charity she runs with her husband, The World Orphan Fund. Once upon a time, she graduated from the University of Wisconsin with degrees in journalism and political science. She lives with her husband on a (tiny) portion of her family's century-old farm in rural Wisconsin, but regularly dreams of finding a cozy cottage on the Irish coast where she can write and write. Learn more about her adventures at ValerieBiel.com.

 

About Beyond the Cemetery Gate:

When the police rule her dad’s death an accidental overdose, 16-year-old Chloe refuses to believe it and vows to find his killer. Alone against a potentially corrupt, small-town police force, a persistent social worker seeking proof that she has adult supervision, and precariously low funds, Chloe learns that her dad’s life as a cemetery caretaker masked a web of family secrets that quite possibly led to his death—and are now putting her in mortal danger.

Needing freedom to investigate, Chloe pretends that her only surviving relative, a famous war correspondent, has returned from an overseas assignment to be her guardian. But living alone in the caretaker’s house in the middle of the cemetery, mere feet from the crime scene, puts Chloe’s nerves on edge even before she unearths clues about the shadowy side of her small town. Help comes from unlikely and surprising allies: the colorful owner of the local retro diner, the quiet new classmate with his near-perfect memory, and a spirit who visits in her moments of greatest need.

But as Chloe gets closer to the truth, someone else is getting closer to Chloe, watching her every move. And when her aunt turns up on international news reporting from a war zone, Chloe’s cover is blown. Now the race is on to reveal her dad’s killer—but perhaps—Chloe isn’t as alone as she thought.

"Not all secrets are buried in the grave. Beyond the Cemetery Gate is a nonstop read through a dark, twisting plot and the dangerous world of shadows and sinister people that 16-year-old Chloe must outrun and outsmart." - Patricia Skalka, Author of the Dave Cubiak Door County Mysteries

Thirty-Five Years Until He Typed THE END

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: What a complicated week, don't you think? So much going on, in so many ways, and so much to think about. And be grateful for.  I love this Friday post, it's thought provoking, and cinematic, and great storytelling, and sort of has a twist in the end. Like all good stories do.

 

I am so honored to welcome Bruce Leonard today!  When you read his bio—and do—it brings up one question I bet we will all want to know the answer to. See what you think!

 

Thirty-Five Years to Type THE END

by Bruce Leonard

 

I grew up in Malibu, California, in the sixties and seventies. The wealth that

many people attach to such an upbringing isn’t universal. The parents in my neighborhood were teachers, cops, stockbrokers, engineers, and editors. My parents bought their house in a canyon in 1967 for $39,000 because they couldn’t afford to live near my father’s aerospace job in Santa Monica, thirty miles east.

 

However, we lived only about three quarters of a mile from Broad Beach, a private stretch of sand on which many celebrities lived.

 

After college, I was hired at the weekly newspaper The Malibu Surfside News for $5 per hour. I incorporated that publication into the novel I started to write in 1989.

 

Hard Exit, my love story wrapped in a private-eye mystery, is set in Malibu and South Los Angeles. Narrator Jack Drake, a depressed private eye to the Hollywood stars, lives in a $30 million mansion on Broad Beach with movie star Amanda Bigelow, but he hates his life.

 

It took me thirty-five years to complete and publish Hard Exit, the most personal of my five novels. Much has changed in Malibu and in me over that span.

 

Broad Beach used to have many houses that could be called beach shacks—small, unassuming homes built seventy, eighty years ago that have been torn down so noted architects could build showpieces for rich people determined to outshine their neighbors. More than one house on Broad Beach has listed for $100 million. Although it’s not on Broad Beach, the Malibu “house” that Beyoncé and Jay-Z live in cost $200 million.

 

And then there’s Billionaire’s Beach, officially called Carbon Beach, to the east, where other entertainment moguls and titans of industry reside.

 

Decades ago, when I created Jack and Amanda’s fictional home, based on one of the first “oh, wow” architectural wonders on Broad Beach, climate change hadn’t eroded beaches around the world. The public could easily walk along Broad Beach between the houses on the sand and the waves. Today, a lengthy, tall jumble of sharp boulders acts as a seawall, diminishing the likelihood that the mansions will be flooded during storms. Beachgoers are still legally allowed to stroll along Broad Beach, but the boulders make fleeing large waves during high tides treacherous.

 

Not being rich is also treacherous in today’s Malibu. When I was young, my family and friends ate downtown at Pizza Palace, attended movies at Malibu Cinema, then bought dessert at Swensen’s Ice Cream Factory—an affordable way for residents to spend an evening. But those businesses long ago gave way to boutiques and artisan shops that sell items no one could everneed and high-end restaurants that offer meals at prices that seem to have misplaced the decimal point.

 

The most significant changes that occurred to me in the last thirty-five years are: I got sober twenty-five years ago; I moved to Kentucky, then Illinois, where I got married; I wrote Quilt City Cookbook and four Hadley Carroll Mysteries, cozies with attitude that take place in Paducah, Kentucky, the Quilt Capital of the World; my father died; my mother’s Malibu home

with everything in it burned to the ground in the 2018 Woolsey Fire; and I published Hard Exit, the white whale that’s haunted me for decades. And I continue to struggle with depression, as Jack Drake does.

 

Which obstacles have stood in the way of you accomplishing your goals?

If you overcame them and reached your goals, how did you do so?

 

HANK: What a great question! And who has been to Malibu? And do you have a question for Bruce that comes from his bio?

 

 

Bruce Leonard earned a B.A. in English with a creative-writing emphasis from UCLA. He has been a travel writer, a magazine- and newspaper editor, an owner of a bakery, and a guinea pig for the U.S. Government.

He writes the award-winning, bestselling Hadley Carroll Mysteries, the first of which, Quilt City Murders, was named Best Mystery of 2022 in one contest.

The next Jack Drake Private-Eye Mystery will be Stronger at the Break.

 

Hard Exit

Jack Drake shares a Malibu beach mansion with a gorgeous movie star but hates his life. The

depressed private eye can’t shake the death of his wife and can’t end his toxic relationship with

Hollywood heartthrob Amanda Bigelow. 

 

But an at-risk sixteen-year-old who is injured in an inner-city shooting gets Jack unstuck. As a

favor to a friend, Jack sequesters Game in the mansion, keeping him safe. 

 

Their worldviews differ, but they draw from their histories of loss and grief while investigating the shooting and three seemingly unrelated murders, tying Game’s world in downtrodden Oakville to Jack’s in idyllic Malibu. 

 

Fans of wisecracking investigators such as Spenser, Kinsey Milhone, and Stephanie Plum will cheer for Jack Drake, a man in love with two women—one of them dead. 

 

 

“This is a smart, edgy, state-of-the-art L.A. noir with heart. Jack Drake is a

private eye with grit, a few demons and a semi-glamorous life on the

beach in Malibu. This series is a terrific addition to the modern hard-

boiled genre.”

—New York Times bestselling author Jayne Ann Krentz

MISSING: ONE STORYLINE.

RHYS BOWEN:  I really enjoyed Lyn Squire's first book with a mystery about Charles Dickens. Now he moves to another prominent Victorian and a mystery surrounding Charles Darwin.  But this story did not just fall into his lap, as he explains here. Welcome Lyn:

  LYN SQUIRE:

Having proudly sent my first book off to the publisher, I was itching to get started on the next.  My protagonist, Dunston Burnett, a diffident, middle-aged, retired bookkeeper, was raring to go.  And my theme for the three-book series – the tension between Dunston’s limited sleuthing skills and the complexity of the crimes he encounters – was firmly established.  All that was missing was… the storyline.  

             I had apparently used up my inventive quota on my first book, so what was I to do?  Draw on events in your own life, you might say.  Good suggestion.  But sadly, my twenty-five years traveling the globe as a World Bank economist did not bring me into contact with a single crime scene or murder investigation, nothing to set the little grey cells churning.

             What else could I do?  Learn from the greats, you suggest.  Yes, should have thought of that.  Arthur Conon Doyle!  All those ingenious Sherlock Holmes’s stories.  He’s my man.  And there, in his autobiography, I found his advice to would-be mystery writers: The first thing is…  Aha!  Here it is… get your idea.   Yes, but how? 

Would reading everything I could about prominent figures and major events in Victorian England, the setting for my series, help?  Many books later, I was an expert on the Corn Laws, Ragged Schools, the First Boer War, and other hot topics of the nineteenth century, but otherwise still idea-free, not a spark of inspiration, nothing.

Nothing, that is, until I read a biography of Charles Darwin.  Charles Darwin?  What, you ask, can England’s foremost scientist of his day possibly have to say about murder?  As those of you who have read The Origin of Species know, the words murder, crime, victim are nowhere to be found in the book’s seven hundred pages of facts and figures.  So what help could he provide? 

A lot, as it happens.  Did you know that Darwin was bombarded with scathing reviews, blistering editorials, and crude cartoons from believers in God’s creation of man?  Could this avalanche of rage and disgust have escalated into something more malicious?   Mmm, sounds promising.  And did you know that Darwin and his wife were first cousins?  And that in the nineteenth century, offspring of such marriages were thought to suffer infertility?  Was there an idea here?  A couple denied the joy of grandchildren by some cruel tragedy?  Yes!  I finally had the pegs on which to hang my second story. 

Fatally Inferior recounts the consequences of two events: the abduction of a member of Darwin’s family, followed a few days later by a ransom demand – renounce your blasphemous theory in The Times or the hostage dies; and the death, or so it seems, of a former maid birthing a son in a London workhouse.  Apparently unrelated incidents, you might think, yet they converge in a vile act of vengeance: a hellish torture for the victim; the perfect revenge for the perpetrator.

Charles Darwin makes only a few fleeting appearances in Fatally Inferior, but without him, the second book in The Dunston Burnett Trilogy would never have… evolved, as the great man might say.

RHYS: Any suggestions for a juicy Victorian murder for Lyn's third book?

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL THE REDS AND READERS.

 RHYS BOWEN:  I'm not even attempting a blog post today as I'm sure everyone is occupied with families, food, presents and festivities. But I want you to know that I'm thinking of all of you most fondly, the whole Jungle Reds family and wishing you much joy.

Here are some pix of our family celebration

To our Jewish friends warmest wishes for a joyful Hanukkah celebration.

As Tiny Tim would say, GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!

Getting in the Christmas Spirit

RHYS BOWEN:  Yesterday we talked about our Christmas books and our favorite traditions. I don't know about you but I always dream of that perfect Christmas and have spent my life trying to find it. I want to recapture that magic I had as a child, waking up in the gray dawn on Christmas morning and finding that stocking of presents at the foot of my bed, going to church with my family in the crisp snowy morning and coming home to the smell of roasting turkey. 

There have been times when I have actively tried to recapture this. When the kids were young a German friend and I were talking about how commercial American Christmas was and how we longed for simplicity. So, at great expense in those days, we rented a house up at Lake Tahoe for Christmas. We packed kids, presents, food into the station wagon and off we went. When we arrived it was like a Christmas card scene... house among the pine trees, covered in pristine white snow. Just perfect. We had a lovely first evening. The next day we took everyone skiing at the nearby resort. Mid morning it began to rain. Jane and the other family's Andrew were skiing the difficult upper run and were ordered to come down as it was turning into a blizzard up there. We came home, wet and cold. 


It rained. And it rained. It washed away a lot of the snow. It was too wet and cold to go out. The cabin had no TV. The other mother came down with a horrible cold and went to bed. She had forgotten to bring the Christmas cookies she had baked. We did the Christmassy things... presents, turkey, etc. Then we played board games. By the third day of rain we were all a little stir crazy. I was wiped out from being the only woman cooking for all these people. So much for the perfect Christmas.

I did try to find it again years later when John and I did a Christmas market cruise up the Danube. This was truly magical, stopping in small towns and going among the booths selling mulled wine, gingerbread, sausages as well as carved toys, glass ornaments, knitted gloves. To see a small child peering up at a wooden puppet dancing or a wooden man riding a bicycle up a rope with wonder in his eyes made me feel that this is how Christmas should be.  John, I should add, was not so thrilled. After the third market he asked, grumpily, "How many angels do you need to look at?" The answer, never enough!

I think they adopt the Christmas spirit much better in Europe. Maybe the towns are made for it, with their town square and narrow streets. Christmas just feels right there. But London, Milan and Paris also put on beautiful Christmas decorations. All the shop windows are festive. There are Christmas markets in all the big cities ( I hope they are not filled with fake angels from China!). There are houses near me that are over-the-top with lighting displays but not much in local towns.  Perhaps the lights aren't so magical when they are at a modern mall!

One thing we always do to start the holiday feeling is to attend the San Francisco Nutcracker with my daughter Jane and granddaughters Lizzie and Meghan. This is the twenty-second year in a row we have done this, starting when Liz had just turned three. It's always wonderful.

This year my daughter's small town had a lighted tractor parade. That was fun. And I attended a beautiful candlelight carol concert. And my whole family is here... so no complaints!

How are the holidays near you? Did you ever find that perfect Christmas?