HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: What were writing. HA! I wish I could tell you, but it is so early on that I’m not quite sure. But that’s the book for 2026.
What I was writing is the book that comes out next September, ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS. And that's why I need your help.
First, this just arrived, the advance bound manuscript, which is sent to authors who have agreed to read it with an eye to a blurb. It has not even been copy-edited, so you can imagine what shape it's in. :-) But people reading for blurbs know how to read around that.
(And you will not believe the fabulous authors who have already endorsed it. I'm not allowed to tell you their names, but they have used words like "captivating" and "irresistible" and "deliciously tense." So, that's good at least. In fact, I am floating. But that's for later.)
Oh, what’s it about, you ask? Well. That’s exactly the problem.
Exactly the problem!
In every interview, on the air, or on the page, or even just casually in the elevator, when someone hears you are writing a new book, they say "Oh, what’s it about? "
And you have to tell them, quickly and irresistibly, the plot of your story.
A different version is on the inside cover of the book, and an even different version is on the back of the book. And the somewhat different version is on the book's listings in bookstores and publisher pages.
So I’m trying to figure out how to describe ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS. In like – – two-ish tantalizing sentences.
One way to do it would be:
A debut author with a surprise best-selling novel is sent by her publisher on a whirlwind triumphant book tour. But --as her tour crashes and burns, she realizes there’s someone out not only to sabotage her career, but to destroy her husband and kids back home. She begins to fear the increasing threats might be the result of a Faustian bargain she made long ago. And now-- seems like her dangerous deal with the devil has come back to ruin her life.
It could also be:
A debut author once made a Faustian bargain – – and now she is celebrating her brand new best-selling novel. She is delighted, her publisher is thrilled, her fans adore her, and her family is supportive--but not everyone is happy. And her glorious book tour is becoming a string of terrifying disasters. Someone is clearly out to ruin her – – is it a fan? A rival author? Or is someone from her past? If she can't figure it out, she'll lose her career, her family, and even her life.
Or
A newly minted best-selling author is forced to juggle her career, her family, and her past – –when her debut thriller is a instant blockbuster bestseller, fans are clamoring to get close to her. But her book tour becomes a series of terrifying calamities, and the husband and kids she left back home are having mysterious difficulties of their own. Could it be the result of her long ago Faustian bargain – –is her deal with the devil about to come due?
Does any of that sounds interesting?
What are the parts that sounds cool to you?
What are the parts that make you want to read – – and what doesn’t?
It's not the real devil, of course. So I'm struggling with that. Although it feels like it to Tessa.
Rats. I'm so excited about this book, and cannot wait to tell you all about it. I just need to work on how to do that!
You know what? Sometimes the person who has the hardest time describing the book is the same person who wrote it!
Reds and readers, can you help?
This is interesting, Hank . . . I had no idea you had to come up with so many blurbs for your book!
ReplyDeleteAt any rate, all three descriptions are intriguing and increase my interest in reading the book. I particularly like “terrifying calamities” and “mysterious difficulties” as well as “whirlwind triumphant book tour” and any of them would make me want to read the book. However, “Faustian bargain” or “deal with the devil” are off-putting [even knowing it’s not the real devil] . . . .
Yes, the pre-publication creations are always a journey! :-0 And thank you ,wonderful, that's good info!
DeleteI’d leave Faust and the devil out of it. Readers may expect a supernatural element. Disgraceful agreement or abhorent agreement might work instead. I like crash and burn, calamities, threats, and so forth. Lots of tension! Pat D
ReplyDeleteThank you--yes, I wondered about that, too...
DeleteI agree with leaving out Faust simply because in advertising I believe in the power of simple words that can be understood by anyone with an 8th grade education. (I sighed when Democrat leaders kept warning about oligarchs. And even fascists.) I'd also leave out deal with the devil, for reasons Joan and Pat have mentioned. Perhaps "shameful bargain"? (Selden)
ReplyDeleteThat is so thought-provoking! And yes, it's all about clarity...
Delete#1 is actually my favorite. I just was thinking in advertising terms... simplest is best. However: did Josephine Tey have to worry if her readers understood "Faustian"? (Selden)
DeleteGood point! xx
DeleteI agree with Joan, Selden and Pat, leave any reference to the supernatural out of it. You don't write that type of book. "...her book tour becomes a series of terrifying calamities..." yes, that is intriguing. The question is why?
ReplyDeleteGreat! xxx Love that.
DeleteI like the second one, and I don't mind references to Faustian at all!
ReplyDeleteI must confess that I am very curious about what kind of bargain this debut author made and with whom, that things are going awry both on her tour and at home!
DeleteMe too! (I do like the reference to having made a bargain or deal with someone in her past… very intriguing and poses many questions about her mysterious past… but would perhaps leave out the Faustian term. Too many inferences with words like that.)
DeleteYes, you all are so right. I am trying to weave in the bargain, and the consequences, but still make it clear there's no real "devil." (except for humans...)
DeleteFrom Celia: I agree, leave out Faust etc, not everyone may recognize that reference. But is it possible to raise that she doesn’t realize at first that her tour and family are targeted because of a long forgotten encounter? Not at my best with a very disturbed night.
ReplyDeleteAww...many hugs. ANd yes, that's exactly what I am trying to figure out how to say.
DeleteCelia, hope everything is better soon. Disturbed night is not good.
DeleteI like the first one best. It is succinct. I like “surprise best-selling novel” “whirlwind triumphant book tour” “crashes and burns” and “deal with the devil”. This version definitely enticed me to want to read the book the most .
ReplyDeleteGreat! (And cannot wait for you to read it!)
DeleteThe deal with the devil part provided me with the context clues to understand Faustian.
DeleteTHAT is so interesting! xxx Thank you!
DeleteThe first description grabbed my attention. I cannot explain why I liked that one better than the second and the third descriptions. I get the Faustian reference. Since many commenters objected to "devil" and "Faustian", I am trying to think of different words to describe the same thing. I cannot think of a better phrase. Can your editor come up with ideas or do you have to come up with ideas? What Celia said ...perhaps "her book tour and family are targeted because of a long forgotten encounter"? Perhaps something happened in her past that stayed hidden until the news about her book tour came out and now she has to deal with "ghosts" from her past? I woke up with a bad cold and headache so I am not at my best either.
ReplyDeletePoor thing! I hope you have chicken soup and ginger ale... And yes, this is definitely a collaborative effort. xx
DeleteHow tantalizing! I am always amazed at the elevator pitches. I am so bad at them but they are SO important. Of the 3 you gave us I think #1 is the best. I think you’re okay with “Faustian” as it’s been used often enough that even those who haven’t read Faust know the reference. I’m intrigued by “crashes and burns” Looking forward to this one!
ReplyDeleteGreat! xxxx Whoo hoo.
DeleteThe Faustian bargain bugged me. I had to check what it was and wouldn’t have done it in a bookstore.
ReplyDeleteThis said, without the reference to Faustian bargain, I prefer the second one.
Danielle
Thank you--this is SO interesting!
DeleteWell the book sounds intriguing for sure, although I'm on the side of "leave Faust and the devil out of it." What about "bargain from the past she never thought she'd regret..."
ReplyDeleteOoh! I like that, Elizabeth!
DeleteGetting there! She did regret it, at the time, she just didn't think it would matter. :-) xx
DeleteWow, this just gets more and more intriguing! Hmm. Maybe "a bargain from the past she never thought would matter ..." ?
DeleteOh, yes! Exactly!
DeleteI like the first pitch the most. I wondered why her debut is a surprise best-seller. As others have suggested, I would remove the Faustian bargain & deal with the devil.
ReplyDeleteMaybe use a tie -in variation to the title. Something like:
All she wanted was coming true. Was the deal she made to make it happen worth it?
Yes to all of this!
DeleteI love that! (Except is not exactly a quid pro quo...)
DeleteMy favorite is the second version, though I don't have a good specific reason. Of course they all say the same thing but the way it's arranged, there's just something about it. To me it sounds a little more suspenseful, plays up the threat more I think?
ReplyDeleteGreat observation! Thank you! I know these are works in progress...
DeleteI like the first one the best. I don't mind the Faustian reference, but if majority rules, I like Elizabeth's suggestion of "bargain from the past she never thought she'd regret." Same thing, but without losing folks who have no idea what a Faustian bargain is. -- Victoria
ReplyDeleteYes, so agree--when in doubt, leave it out!
DeleteI like the first one the best and have no problem with Faustian or devil. Picking up a HPR book, I know from the get-go that it's suspense, not supernatural in nature. And enough of us have faced making a deal with our own devils to make it clear what's going on in her life!
ReplyDeleteYes, our own devils..hmmm. oxoxo Thank you!
DeleteWhat we are writing is my favorite JRW offering!
ReplyDeleteWhile all of them sound intriguing, Hank, it is the third option that grabs my attention. That is if they were descriptions of three different books, I would pick up the third one to read. My guess is they are all equally wonderful and do the job, which is probably no help for you at all.
Yes, that is what I am wondering--what would make you go--OOH! I'd love to read this!
DeleteThe third one gets my vote -- the pace of the sentences in this blurb likely mirror the pacing of the story in the book so that's good!
ReplyDelete"A newly minted best-selling author is forced to juggle her career, her family, and her past – –when her debut thriller is a instant blockbuster bestseller, fans are clamoring to get close to her. But her book tour becomes a series of terrifying calamities, and the husband and kids she left back home are having mysterious difficulties of their own. Could it be the result of her long ago Faustian bargain – –is her deal with the devil about to come due?"
Yes, thank you! I like it too!
DeleteEither one or two but leave out the deal with the devil. That makes it seem like the problem is something supernatural beyond her control. Unless that is the direction the plot is going.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Nope, it's a human "devil," nothing supernatural. It's just--metaphorical.
DeleteI like the first one. It starts upbeat, "but then..." and the following sentences up the tension.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind references to Faust because I think readers know you don't write supernatural - and "a deal with the devil" is, I think, pretty well understood not to be literally with the Devil.
Yes, that would truly be a different kind of book! xxx
DeletePaula B here: I agree with leaving Faustian reference out. For a sec I thought you wrote a very different sort of book and I didn’t want to read it. Instead perhaps something along the lines of mysterious encounter but something better than that. You’ve got the words all packed up in your head. You’ll find the exact ones, never fear. Write on, fav writer, right on!
ReplyDeleteAWww...I truly appreciate your confidence! thank you! xxx
DeleteAny of the blurbs work for me! I definitely want to read the book. I don't mind the term Faustian bargain (maybe because my son is studying Goethe). I understand it as a metaphorical reference rather than an indicator of supernatural content. Yay Hank!
ReplyDeleteAW, thank you! I am incredibly excited about this book, and cannot wait for you all to read it!
DeleteI had typed a completely different response before I read everyone else's. And then I found I kind of respected the wisdom of the group. I had no problem with Faustian bargain, but if that many others did, then it is probably best to omit it.
ReplyDeleteGiven that, I might start with the first two sentences of #1 and end with the end of #2, thus:
A debut author with a surprise best-selling novel is sent by her publisher on a whirlwind triumphant book tour. But --as her tour crashes and burns, she realizes there’s someone out not only to sabotage her career, but to destroy her husband and kids back home. Is it a fan? A rival author? Or is someone from her past? If she can't figure it out, she'll lose her career, her family, and even her life.
Oh, that's a great amalgam! Hmmm..thank you SO much!
DeleteI like the one leading with the Faustian bargain - get the suspense front and center!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I agree. But our readers don't seem to...which is SO important! And SO incredibly valuable!
DeleteYes, but your target reader will understand the meaning of Faustian bargain.
DeleteI kinda think so...xoxo
DeleteClearly the range of comments and views will help you not one iota, since there is (not surprising) incredible disagreement among your fans as to which blurb is best and yea or nay on Faustian bargain. Having said that, let me throw in my two cents worth (which is all it is worth). I definitely like the first one best -- it pulled me in much stronger than either the second or third, and I am fine with Faustian bargain (indeed, I like bargains of any type, even bad ones, as this appears to be).
ReplyDeleteThank you--well, I have to say I am feeling very grateful for this discussion. Amazing to have such a wonderfully literate group of pals who are willing ot say what they think for the greater good. LOVE that. But, exactly as you say, yup, it's always easier to have a consensus! :-)
DeleteWhat are the demographics of your readers? would a younger reader understand "Faustian bargain?" I would choose the one that speaks to the majority of your readers.
ReplyDeleteGood though, absolutely! Def I think my demos are not 20-something. Although...-this particular book is appealing to a very wide demo, I think! SO happy about that. xxx
DeleteWhat a great discussion from readers and authors who read!. I like the addition of the balancing act the MC has between her new career and her home life. So important and this book will reach mom's who may not have discovered your books yet.
ReplyDeleteYour fan, Beth
Aww...I hope so! Yes, that is absolutely a key part of the book, and was really fabulous to write.
DeleteNo help here, but it sounds delicious!
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you! That's what I was hoping to hear! xxx
DeleteThe third one resonates most for me, though I do see the point about implications of Faustian and the devil. One more complication in your life as a writer. -- Storyteller Mary
ReplyDeleteHa! Yes, indeed, but it's all wonderful...xx
DeleteI like the first description, except I'd change the word "devil" to "the dark side."
ReplyDeleteAh HA. Change devil to a different word or phrase..hmmm that could work!
DeleteOh, elevator pitches are so hard! My agent and I always to these together--she's the best at it. I like #1--I think simpler is usually better. How about a few tweaks, like so?
ReplyDelete"A debut author with a surprise best-selling novel is sent by her publisher on a whirlwind book tour. But as the calamities on her tour mount, she realizes there’s someone out not only to sabotage her career, but to destroy her husband and kids back home. She begins to fear the increasing threats might be the result of a secret bargain she made long ago. And now-- has that long ago pact come back to haunt her in ways far more dangerous than she could never have imagined?"
On second thought, I wonder if you could even scrap "by her publisher?" Because that's kind of a given, and readers won't really care here.
Oh, and the book sounds fabulous!!!!
DeleteAnd I meant "ever" have imagined...
DeleteOh, I like this version! I didn't see it until after I posted my attempt. It was just something fun to occupy me on this cold, foggy morning.
DeleteI LOVE this! Thank you, Debs! #1 is the one I've been using, and I love. your tweaks! With a few more tweaks: "A debut author with a surprise best-selling novel embarks on a triumphant whirlwind book tour. But as the calamities mount, she realizes there’s someone out not only to sabotage her career, but to destroy her husband and kids back home. Problem is, she can never reveal that the increasing threats might be the result of a dangerous (or Faustian) bargain she made long ago. And now--that one decision may be back to ruin her life. "
DeleteI love this!!! Especially "dangerous" bargain!
DeleteThe third one was closest for me. I like fewer words, so I tried my hand at it. I also like Faustian and added quotes to deal with the devil which takes away from what some felt was a supernatural reference. Just one of those everyday devils we all encounter in our daily lives. Anyway, here’s my attempt:
ReplyDelete“ A newly minted author is forced to juggle her career, her family, and her past. Her debut thriller is an instant bestseller and fans are clamoring to get close to her, but her book tour becomes a series of terrifying calamities. To add to her fears, back home her husband and kids are having mysterious difficulties of their own. Could it be the result of a long ago Faustian bargain? Is her “deal with the devil” about to come due?”
I added this from my phone, so it posted as Anonymous. Sorry about that.
Delete
DeleteThey all sound irresistable to me. Throw in "Faustian" and I am hooked. Yes, I know it won't be the real devil, but...but...but...
Yes, I am kinda fond of Faustian. :-) That's why it's called ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS. To imply: all you have to do is sell your soul.
DeleteI'm torn between 1 and 3 but am notoriously sooooo bad at descriptions. Can't we just say "Another masterpiece by Hank Phillippi Ryan?"
ReplyDeleteYes yes yes, I SO totally completely agree. Love that. xxxx Let's start a trend. xx
DeleteI like number one best. I might start with : “Protagonists Name” thought she could have all: a best selling novel, a loving husband and the children she always dreamed of. But when things start unraveling she has to wonder; in her struggle to have it all, did she make a deal with the devil that she has to pay for now?
ReplyDeleteYes, that's GREAT! And I love thie idea of using her name. But...that's not quite what the book is. (although it sounds like a really good one...:-) )
DeleteThe first one drew me in (then the third). I like the deal with the devil, but maybe reword the last two sentences to take out “Faustain bargain” in case people are not familiar. Can’t wait to read it!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I am SO excited about it! xxx
DeleteThe first one grabbed me right away. The tension builds and I'm ready to start reading. I do not mind Faustian or the devil, but the word devil would be easy to remove without taking away from the rest of the description.
ReplyDeleteOh, so true! This is SO helpful! xxx
DeleteI definitely would be most motivated by the first one. I’d leave out both Faustian and devil. Sorry I don’t have a great substitute to offer
ReplyDeleteThank you! This is such wonderfully helpful input! xxx
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