JENN McKINLAY: There was a murder in our house this week. Or so I thought.
The origin story: Way back in October, Hooligan 1 and his Plus 1 arrived at our house with a sad looking goldfish that Plus 1 had won at a carnival game at October Fest. They already had their quota on critters, so Hub and I happily adopted the little fish, naming it Shohei Ohtani because Hub's beloved Dodgers were in the World Series.
Surprisingly, our cats all ignored little Shohei...well, all except one.
Tig was rather obsessed with Shohei and liked to "help" me feed him. For his part, Shohei didn't seem to mind the chonky cat, as if knowing Tig couldn't reach him and his life was such an upgrade from carnie life that he frequently did zoomies around his tank and was a talented rapper, his fave being Eminem's Lose Yourself (see video - which I hope managed to capture the audio).
Fast forward to this week, Hub and I left the menagerie to play in our weekly volleyball league (where we froze but that's another blog post). Tig had "helped" me feed Shohei before we left and I thought nothing of it.
When we arrived home, I went to switch off the tank light but little fish did not come to rap at me. Huh. I looked to see if he was hiding in his house. Nope. There was no sign of him. Little Shohei was GONE and there was no sign of a struggle. The tank was intact, no water anywhere, nothing.
I was distraught. Shohei had brought me much joy over the past few months and I adored him.
I wanted to know what happened to him, but there was absolutely no evidence. Still I had my suspicions...my "helper" Tig must have done it! Hub pointed out the impossibility of the cat opening the tiny food door, grabbing the fish, and closing the food door without making a mess but I was still unconvinced. I mean look at this face. It has apex predator all over it!
I called Hooligan 1 and he was very sweet about the loss. When I talked to my mom the next morning she suggested the "fish rapture" might have taken Shohei. LOL. I kept giving Tig a side eye, wondering if he'd burp up some fish bones. He did not.
Then Hooligan 2 stopped by with his Plus 1 (they'd snagged me a cupcake to help push through my deadline) and I told them the story of the mysterious disappearance. They were also sad (we all adored Shohei). And then Hooligan 2 said, "Mom, he's in the bottom of his cave. Very dead."
What?! I went racing over to check and sure enough there he was. Y'all, I checked that tank with a flashlight. He was not in there! I have no idea where little dude was hiding his dead self for 24 hours, but he managed it. This morning, I buried him in our backyard pet sematary cemetery with a simple somber service.
Now here's the take away: This is exactly how people believe an innocent person did something that they didn't do! I was thinking with my heart and not my head, looking for a culprit when it was natural causes (in my defense if Shohei's body had been visible from the beginning, we could have avoided all of the unpleasantness, but I digress). For what it's worth, I profusely apologized to Tig for all of the dark looks I sent his way and gave him extra treats. "When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong." (Who knows what movie that quote is from?).
Anyway, anyone else misjudge their pet as badly as I did? Or have a goofy pet story to share? Happy Friday!
Sorry about your poor goldfish; glad the cat was innocent.
ReplyDeleteGoofy pet stories? Well, I could tell you about the time I was making sandwiches . . . I'd put the bologna on the bread and turned away to get the cheese. Turn back and . . . no bologna on the bread. Huh? Maybe I didn't really put it on the bread. So, put the cheese back, get the bologna, put a slice on each piece of bread. Turn away to get the cheese. Turn back and . . . no bologna on the bread. Okay, I think I'm going crazy. Repeat with the sandwich meat; turn away, but turn back right away and catch golden retriever Rex carefully lifting the slice of meat off the bread and munching away.
[And the movie quote is from "Dirty Dancing"] . . . .
Sneaky Rex! Love it!
DeleteRex! You stinker! LOL, Joan.
DeleteAnd, yes! Dirty Dancing is the movie!
DeleteSorry about the goldfish.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dru. Amazing how such a little life can make such an impact.
DeleteYou have the softest heart Jenn--it's very sweet! We've had fish over the years but never one I became attached to. Now I see it's because I didn't spend enough time singing with them.
ReplyDeleteClearly, it was the lack of rapping. :)
DeleteI love the video! Our cat Martin is a Very Good Mouser. He has kept our kitchen free of the pests who sneak up somehow from the basement. But recently some critter is gnawing behind the backsplash near the sink (an outer wall). There's even a little hole near an outlet cover, where once we saw the offenders little nose. It's a horrible sound, and we can't believe Martin is entirely uninterested. Hugh set him on the counter near the noise. The cat shrugged and leapt off. I guess he has to see varmints to be interested in them. (And yes, we need to fix the hole and figure out how to banish the critter before it chews through a wire.)
ReplyDeletewhatever the varmint is, they can't chew through steel wool. We insulated our carriage house that way and no more varmints.
DeleteSteel wool? Who knew?
DeleteGreat video. You lost a future music star, I see.
ReplyDeleteA tragedy, indeed.
DeleteJenn, I don't think anyone could blame you for thinking The Cat did it.
ReplyDeleteLook at the look on his face in that pic you posted. You can almost hear him saying, "You got nuthin' on me, copper, nuthin' see".
I just snorted coffee through my nose. LOL! He totally looks like that!
DeleteThe video is a hoot! Good times! I'm glad that the cat was cleared of murder.
ReplyDeleteHow'd it go yesterday, Jenn? Hope you got an all clear. I just reread Thursday's post and had my morning laughs.
All good!
DeleteShohei was a talented rapper...love the video!
ReplyDeleteSorry about his passing, and for Tig getting wrongly accused of murdering him!
Thank you, Grace. And, yeah, poor Tig.
DeleteLove the video! Shohei had some serious personality going on there. My condolences on your loss. Glad Tig was found not-guilty.
ReplyDeleteMe, too. Not gonna lie, it was going to bug me.
DeleteJenn, so sorry about Shohei's demise. Great video, I almost spit out my coffee! I think Tig’s face is a picture of innocence. My brother and I had many goldfish over time. Out Siamese cat was never interested in the fish but he loved drinking out of the fish bowl! Those poor fish!
ReplyDeleteI like to think having a cat staring at him kept him from becoming complacent but maybe he had a fishy heart attack. :(
DeletePoor Shohei! Never was fish so well-loved! And Tig stands exonerated! Although, that smug face--aren't you wondering now exactly WHAT he was guilty of, if not the disappearing fish??
ReplyDeleteYoungest nephew had a dwarf hamster named Reggie. Because of cats, she (yes, Reggie was a girl) lived in her cage in youngest nephew's room. One evening I was in the basement doing laundry when I hear this bellow from above: "PrettyKitty ate Reggie!!" I rush upstairs to view the scene of disaster--cage overturned, PK the cat on the patio yowling to come in, and absolutely no sign of Reggie. Bring the cat in, right the cage, clean up the mess--no sign of Reggie. I explain there would be some sign of carnage if she had killed Reggie (howls of despair from nephew). Next morning, I catch a glimpse of movement from the corner of my eye as I'm working at my desk. There's Reggie, who freezes for a moment, then hightails it back the way she came. All I could see was this hamster butt scurrying away. Long story short, a day later I got up to find that she'd made it safely back into her cage (which I had reconstituted, added a handy ramp, and left fresh food and water for her, placing it where she was last seen). Shortly thereafter, a new home was found for Reggie because PK continued to show an interest in Reggie's whereabouts.
Phew! Glad Reggie made it home. Hamster butts are cute!
DeleteGreat video! So sad that Shohei died, but like his namesake, he was a standout (as a gold fish). So many stories about my first golden retriever, Gloria, but I'll limit myself to two. We got her as a puppy for Matt, but she quickly became my dog. I crate trained her, and her crate was in the kitchen at first (then I got smart and moved her to my room) One morning, she came out of the crate wearing a pair of my son's underwear. I have no idea when or how she got them and I wish I could show you the picture. She also had an eating disorder--ate everything. One Christmas, I was doing cards for all my co-workers at 9-1-1, and I decided to attach a little Dove chocolate to each card. I had put the chocolates on my mantel, which was high. I didn't think Gloria could get it. (and she didn't for several days) One day I went out to lunch with a friend and came back to find that the big goober had dragged 3 bags of Dove chocolates down and eaten most of it, foil and all. I ended up at the vet with her watching her vomit it up in a big tub. The vet, (this endeared him to me forever) wiped up the vomit himself each time. Lots of festive foil in the mix.
ReplyDeleteOmigod, Gillian, I can't stop laughing about the underwear!
DeleteWhen my daughter's Berner Barli was a young dog we went to their house for Christmas, and I made or bought lots of chocolate goodies. When we got there I unloaded everything onto their counter and then we all went out to dinner. On our return the truffles were completely vanished in their package, and everything else was gone, except for the cookies in the tin. Barli ate it, boxes and all. Amazingly, she lived to be almost 14.
I really need to know the back story on the underwear. LOLOL! Glad Gloria survived the chocolate purge!
DeleteLaughing about the underwear! Our cousins got a rescue retriever. The second day they had her she pooped a bright crimson thong - the backstory??
Deletewhat a mental playground (Heather S)
Sorry about the fish. We did the carnie fish thing with The Girl when she was young. Of course it didn't live. Neither did the beta fish I bought to replace it, although people swore up and down they were hardier. This reminds me to ask how my nephew's fish is doing (yes, carnie fish - which died - replaced by a store-bought fish and a tank with a filter).
ReplyDeleteKoda is very well behaved. I did set a couple of tablespoons of stick butter on the counter. Turned away, turned back - yep, butter gone. Koda looked at me and blinked as if to say, "Well, what do you expect?" He even ate the paper wrapper.
My first dog, Casey, was left alone with a bowl of candy. He was a short guy and the bowl was in the middle of the table. Surely he couldn't get at it. We got home from trick or treating a couple of hours later to find a sea of wrappers and half the bowl gone. He'd eaten the chocolate, but not the wrappers. And no, he didn't get sick, either!
How smart to not eat the wrappers!
DeleteDying laughing here. Sorry for your pet disaster/drama, but have you considered that Shohei committed suicide from despair at not being able to perform on a wider stage? Because, dang, that fish had talent.
ReplyDeleteWe had a dog that kept running away from home. No fewer than three people in the area kept Knife (he was meant to be my protector, ha), thinking he was a stray (he did have a collar). One night I'd been driving all over looking for him, again, and I got a call, from Steve's former high school football coach, who lived well over a mile from us. Knife was, er, glued to his elderly pooch on the front lawn, and they couldn't get them apart. Knife was only about six months old, a teenager in dog years, and the female was on hormones to cure her incontinence, so was unusually attractive at the moment.
After that incident, Knife went under the knife. He never roamed again.
LOL, Karen! Potentially, he longed for a greater stage - he was a carnie fish, after all.
DeleteI'm sorry about your goldfish, Jenn, but I do love your mom's theory that he was raptured. I'm glad Tig was vindicated in the end!
ReplyDeleteMom made me laugh with that one!
DeleteSorry about the fish. We had a white cat Cleo (not deaf like Prue) who did not participate in the feeding of the fish – we have a pond in the sun room, that currently houses 5 large goldfish, and other small ‘bottom fish’, where she would often go ‘fishing’. She would just look in and flick one out – and usually leave it. Sometimes we would find them in time to save them from drying out, sometimes not. She had no interest in them out of the water.
ReplyDeleteIn spite of all the animals that we have shared our lives with, this story is about – oh, you will see…
It was your typical Ontario year in that there was snow everywhere and it was stone cold outside, but the sun was shining and glistening off the snow making it a winter wonderland. It was not a typical Christmas for us as we were lucky enough to have my parents with us for Christmas Day. This had not happened for years as they always stayed in Louisbourg to be with my grandparents, and then came to visit us a day or two following the Big Day, and then Christmas would happen all over again a few days later. No wonder our kids are weird!
We have always had our turkey dinner at 2pm. I have no idea why, or how this happened, but Gran always had the meal then, and I have continued her tradition. The meal was over, the dishes were done, and it was time to either be playing with the new toys, or reading the new books or resting the eyelids. Poetic license would say there was a little knock on the door, but really it was just a cute little face pressed up against the patio window pane. A general welcoming scream of “C’coon!” went through the room and someone ran over and opened the door. In she came and without a glance over her shoulder, she raced into the pantry where we could hear sounds of pleasure as she used the litter box. She then came out, took a tour of the house, nodded to the dogs, ignored the cats, who in turn ignored her, and generally made herself at home.
Having satisfied herself that all was pretty much as she left it four months ago, she came back to the sun room, enjoyed a piece of fruitcake, and then with a sigh of satisfaction she climbed up on the back of the chesterfield, and settled in for a snooze. Even my mother, who considered raccoons as nothing more than a varmint, was seen to have taken a small cuddle of C’coon’s heavy winter coat. It is hard to put into words the joy we had at her return.
C’coon had been raised by us from a wee-small suckling. Her mother had been killed and we were given her to raise by our raccoon-loving vet. Our older dog had accepted her as her own, and treated her like her puppy. She would wash her, cuddle her and let her sleep between her paws. Fluff, the other dog that was a puppy when C’coon arrived thought of her as his litter mate. The kids all loved her as they had also loved the other two raccoons that shared our life and it was not unusual to see them cuddled up in bed with her.
The sun set, darkness fell, and she slowly awoke, stretched her paws in the air, sighed and moved to the door. We all had a cuddle, thanked her for her visit, opened the door, and she moseyed off into the night, never to return again.
So, it was with a tear in our eyes that we watched her amble her way into the darkness, and a memory shared that over shone anything else of that Christmas.
Great story, Margo! Another chapter for your memoirs!
DeleteKAren is right - you really need to write your memoir with a chapter for C'coon. Lovely story. I'm not crying...you're crying.
DeleteOh, Jenn, oh dear....You need to explain to your next fish that when it's time to go to the great ocean beyond, it must depart this ocean while in plain sight so you don't accuse an innocent feline of murder.
ReplyDeleteWe had a cat patiently waiting for anything to fall while Mom prepped the ham for Easter dinner. She pounced and chomped on a wayward whole clove. It was quickly released.
I bet that cat was SURPRISED!!
DeleteOh! Yowza, that'll teach her.
DeleteA great lesson learned about blaming the cat!! I'm sure the cat will make sure you never forget! LOL
ReplyDeleteGreat story Jenn.
Yeah, he's leveraging it for more pets as I type.
DeleteThat Shohei could have been a YouTube star. His rapping was outstanding. Oh well, at least Tig has had his name cleared. I wouldn't say Tig looks exactly guilty in that picture, but he does look mighty satisfied. I would like to say that goldfish are tricky to keep alive for a long period. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. It helps me deal with the guilt of my childhood. My friend Phoebe, at whose house I often played, had goldfish. I can't remember if she just had two or more. But, Phoebe's mother was curious why they kept dying so quickly. Well, one day she walked in Phoebe's room while I was there, and Phoebe and I were playing with the goldfish, outside of their fish bowl. So, mystery solved and an important lesson learned, that Phoebe's mother was a kill joy.
ReplyDeleteHA HA HA HA! "Phoebe''s mother was a killjoy." You crack me up, Kathy.
DeleteJohn gave me a tank of tropical fish once because they are supposed to be calming. And a book on keeping fish. Including all the diseases. I’ve never been more stressed. Is that one swimming funny? Does this one have Ick? Finally one of the kids knocked over the tank water and fish all over the floor and that was the end
ReplyDeleteThis is why we have children, right? LOL.
DeleteMy favorite pet story. Grandson, aged about 3, had a hamster. Clare found the hamster cage empty. Sam said “we’re playing hide and seek and he’s a really good hider!@
ReplyDeleteLOL! I just scared the cat, I laughed so hard.
DeleteLove this story, Jenn! I, too, have a blame the cat story. Years ago, I had an indoor/outdoor cat who was a mighty hunter. I was regularly gifted with decapitated rodents, dead birds, etc. One morning, I looked out the window and she was carrying a very large rabbit. I did a doubletake because I realized it was Easter Sunday, and I wondered if she'd captured someone's escaped bunny. She hadn't, but I was a bit traumatized and worried about that poor bunny for a few hours. Couldn't really blame her because she was just doing what she did best. -- Victoria
ReplyDeleteA rabbit? Dang, she was a hunter! Apex predator, fo sho!
DeleteShohei was hiding when it died, so it is understandable why one would think Tig did something to the fish. Reminded me of Cartoons where the cat did something to the fish.
ReplyDeleteDo I have a goofy pet story? I saw a video on social media where a deaf owner was signing to his cat and the cat "talked" in sign language.
Oh, that's amazing! Cats are so smart but also very willful.
DeleteLet me just say, Jenn, if I have not said it before :-) you are the kindest person in the world. You truly are.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am so sorry about your poor fishy.
That was one lucky fish.
In the bigger picture. I think your thought process is so fascinating. And really a window into human nature.
First, that we have to know, always, why something happened, why why why. We need an answer, a solution, an explanation.
And so often the explanation includes blaming someone, you know? It has to be somebody’s fault. Especially as mystery writers, right? There has to be a villain.
But also as human beings. We look for someone to blame, some way to make sense of what happened, and it’s easier to blame something than it is to embrace that sometimes things happen, and fish have lifespans, and your cute little fish did what many animals do, hide themselves away to go to fish heaven in peace.
Right? This whole experience was a glimpse into my own psyche that was enlightening and not in a good way. I had to have a culprit to make it all make sense.
DeleteThis is the best fish-related rap video I've seen all year, Jenn. I'm sorry we've all lost such a shining talent.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking with a few twists, this could be a a pet version of GONE GIRL - Shohei leaves behind a tiny diary detailing all the times Tig was looming threateningly... Tig doesn't show enough worry and remorse and the press gets suspicious...
OR they’ve learned how to perform in front of the nanny cam…
DeleteLOL! Clearly we need to look to nature for inspiration.
DeleteThat little video is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week - so cute! At least you have that sweet memory. And cats create some of the problem because they always have that very self-satisfied, slightly smirky air about them!
ReplyDeleteAnd the quote is from Dirty Dancing, maybe?
Nailed it, Melinda! Dirty Dancing it is. And I am grateful for the memory.
DeleteOur first pet after we married was George the Airedale. His owners were downsizing and they were looking for a new home for George. He shook paws with me and I was sold. One day we left cheese sitting out on a tray in the living room. We left the house and came back an hour or so later. Cheese still there. We greeted George, went into the kitchen to get something to go with the cheese, returned to the living room, and. . . cheese gone. I think that dang dog was waiting for implied permission. He was such an eager eater you had to be careful he didn't take your fingers along with the treat. George was my bud and accompanied me on my midnight trips to downtown Austin to pick up Frank from work. Downtown Austin was just a bit scuzzy back in those days and no one bothered me when George was riding shotgun in my Mustang.
ReplyDeleteOh, I love airedales! Good boy, George.
DeleteDefinitely a loss to the world of rap! I am so sorry for your greater loss, and that framed poor innocent cat - who has a look on his face that says - not only did I do it, I put the body back and fooled the bejeebers out of you. Trust me. I know cats. He's snickering.
ReplyDeleteWhen I lived in my last apartment I had a wonderful black cat named Pirate. I say wonderful, but I mean pigheaded and devious. There came a time when I found a little puddle on my bathroom vanity every morning. Now, Pirate often used hum....bodily functions...to make his point. For an entire week, I routed him out of his hidey hole every morning, dipped his little nose in the puddle, shook my finger in his face, and said, "No." He stalked away, always with a backward look of chagrin. One morning I got up earlier. I was at the vanity patting on moisturizer (SPF 25 - it was Florida) when something splashed my arm. I looked in the corner of the vanity to see a growing puddle. I looked up to see a droplet forming on the ceiling. Not the cat, but a leak in the upstairs neighbor's shower pan. Needless to say, I apologized profusely, which did not mean as much as the week of tuna, Florida lobster, and steak he received for his supper.
LOL! Poor Pirate. Nice to know I'm not alone.
DeleteAwe! I’m so sorry about your fish. Over the years we’ve had both cats and fish and they’ve managed to coexist. However, one of our goldfish did meet a dramatic and tragic end when he was run over. Yup that’s what I said. Our fish spent their summers enjoying life in a lovely backyard lily pond. What could possibly go wrong? Some of the neighborhood kids decided that the lily pond would be just great to do jumps over with their bikes. (Think Evil Kneaval. And yes this is an old story) One kid missed. Bike and kid were fine. Poor Fang (yes that was his name) never knew what hit him. The kids involved confessed and yes they were in the backyard without permission.
ReplyDeleteOh, that is a way to go! Eek.
DeleteThe video was priceless! I'm so glad your cat was innocent, but sorry your fish passed on.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI just finished reading some of these stories to my husband, after showing him the video. We are both wiping our eyes from laughing!
ReplyDeleteThere are some very funny pets out there!
DeleteI’m so sorry about Shohei — I love the video! Growing up, my family always hosted my mom’s family for Thanksgiving. My mom always put the desserts on a buffet piece we had in the dining room (they turned out being just under hip high when I was standing next to it. My mom and I went in to check the desserts and found that someone had scooped out the filling on one of the pumpkin pies. We silently blamed it on my cousin’s kids and a friend (they were all about 8 years old). I went in later and found my Golden Retriever, Casey, stretching her head and her tongue as far as she could licking the rest of the filling out of the pie.
ReplyDeleteAt least pumpkin is good for dogs...oh, Casey.
Delete
ReplyDeletePriceless video of Shohei, adorable.
The pet antics tales are a rich read! It would make a great compilation (no doubt it’s been done). (Heather S:
Great idea, Heather!
DeleteI had a turtle in a bowl in my dorm room in college and I forgot about it and the whole thing dried up!
ReplyDeleteOh, poor Shohei. Tig does have a bit of a guilty look to him.
ReplyDeleteProbably my funniest furbaby shenanigan is many years ago our chubby grey tiger Tinkerbell performed a magic trick. My sister had just made a ham sandwich and set it on the table then turned back to the kitchen for something else. Out of the corner of our eyes we saw Tinker take a flying leap alongside the dining table, reach out a claw at the apex of the jump and snag the ham & land at the other end of the table. The plated sandwich was completely undisturbed-looking. It was like the magicians who pull a tablecloth off of a loaded table. If we hadn’t seen it we would have thought Melissa somehow forgot to put the ham on the sandwich.
Another one involves our Maine Coon Tubby. She would cuddle and snooze on my sister’s lap every evening while we watched tv or read. When Melissa was ready to get up to go to bed I would have to pick Tubby up to allow her to do so. Tubs protested every night, telling me “no!”. One night she saw me coming and laid her head down pretending to be asleep. We chuckled and waited a minute. She cracked an eye open and I said “I’m still here”. She immediately pretended to sleep again. This got her a few extra minutes because we were laughing so hard. Smartest cat ever.