JENN McKINLAY: It was November of 2019 and the Jungle Red Writers were meeting at Bouchrcon in Dallas. I think this is the only time all seven of us have been together in my eight years as a Red. Miracles happen!
We were having this group picture taken:
Hank doesn't love this one, no idea why...lol.
Anyway, somehow we got into a conversation with our photographers, two very nice gents somewhere in their 30's/40's - honestly, I have no idea, I'm a terrible judge of age - and I think one of our Reds got squashed (Julia?) and muttered something about it feeling like a mammogram.
The photographer dudes clearly had no idea why we thought this was so funny and being the informative types we are, we then described in great detail to these two horrified males what all a mammogram entails. Boob meets glass plates and smash!
Y'all I can still see their faces. Yes, it was that comical and I still laugh when I think about it. Also, I believe we did them and the women in their lives an invaluable favor that day.
Side note: This might be on my mind because I'm having one today.
After that encounter, it occurred to me that we ladies do the world a terrible disservice in not letting our co-creators of the species know exactly what being a female of humankind entails. As the mom of two boys, I was pretty blunt about body parts and how they work (both male and female - my sex ed talk lives on in the family lore to this day) but you never know if they're really getting it, you know?
Exhibit A:
How about you, Reds and Readers, do the men in your life know how the mysterious female body works? And if you're one of our male readers, how do you rate your knowledge of the female body?
Relatively well, I think . . . I've never actually asked 😊
ReplyDeleteIt seems necessary to ask the reverse as well. Do the women in a man’s life understand how his body works? Elisabeth
ReplyDeleteGreat question!
DeleteWay better, in my case!
DeleteI know my husband better than he does and try to keep him up to date on the latest. My husband reads my face very well and at least knows when it is important enough to ask about something!
ReplyDeleteSounds attentive!
DeleteI was teaching childbirth classes in my living room when my sons were young but old enough to understand the flip chart of how the uterus grows during pregnancy and where the baby comes out. Now they are both happily married and I assume doing the usual intimate activities (although I do NOT ask), so I think the answer would be yes. I've also talked about mammograms to Hugh. He shudders but listens...
ReplyDeleteMy own youth was a different story. Sex was not spoken about at home. "Health" class in ninth grade was taught by new teacher and football coach Mr. Beverage, who was fresh out of college. He turned bright red when he taught the pitiful sex ed section, and we all came out of that semester believing you could catch syphilis from kissing. A few years later, I had to read Masters and Johnson Explained on the sly in the public library to understand the mechanics of it all. I eagerly learned in person a year later. ;^)
DeleteI can see from that video most of us fail miserably in educating our men folk. That was ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteJonathan was around 7 when he asked about where babies come from. We got a book out of the library and Irwin read it to him. "How'd it go?" I asked. "He hid under the covers."
Poor baby and poor daddy
DeleteGreat topic. I remember when my young male relatives had children’s books about where babies came from. I think that was the extent of their knowledge.
ReplyDeleteRegarding mammograms, even if I’m a female, I didn’t know until I actually went through the experience of my first mammograms!
We still don’t know much about the mysterious workings of women’s bodies. For example, only 20 percent of medical schools teach about menopause!
Someone asked a great question about the reverse- how much do women know about men’s bodies?
TMI! TMI! TMI!
ReplyDeletePauvre Jerry
DeleteJerry, at least an uncomfortable conversation. Elisabeth
DeleteSex ed was woefully inadequate in our schools. I had hoped they were teaching this at school but the video shows otherwise.
ReplyDeleteAnd my mother did not teach me much either. Just a bit when my period started. Nothing else.
My dad knew nada about female body stuff.
Grace, I hope that our generation was better than our parents' generations for treating sex ed like a normal part of growing up. My mother was positively Victorian, and her mother was genuinely Victorian! Like your folks, I don't think parents who immigrated from countries around the world were better at revealing the secrets of the human body than my mother and grandmother were. But I do hope that the generations after them, feel that sex education is necessary.
DeleteFor several years my husband taught 7th grade biology, which included a unit on human anatomy and a short one on sex ed. He would recognize everything except perhaps the speculum, as that was not a part of the curriculum (and not something I would keep at home!). He certainly heard from me about the tortilla press aspect of mammograms. I don't know how good a job I did with our son and daughter. Surely somewhat better than my well-meaning mother did with me around 1970, but both also had sex ed in schools. (Selden)
ReplyDeleteSelden, remembering from consciousness raising groups of mid-1970s: distribution of speculums, so that women could look at their own vaginas. I don’t remember in which moving house experience mine disappeared! Elisabeth
DeleteI was part of that. We had a newsprint copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves, and took pictures of each other's cervixes!
DeleteAh, I had the paperback copy of Our Body, Ourselves around the house. I never did the look-at-the-vagina thing but read about it. (Perhaps my ten-years-older sister did.) The consciousness raising groups were shown very amusingly in the fabulous short series about NYC and women in the late 1960s, GOOD GIRLS REVOLT.
DeleteMy teenage son marked PMS week on the kitchen calendar every month. My daughter and I were in sync. Jenn, I've long said every male member of Congress should have to take and pass a female anatomy class.
ReplyDeleteExcellent idea! And they are suspended until they have proven they know what's what!
DeleteMargaret, I totally agree. Some of their statements during abortion debates have been unbelievably ignorant. (Selden)
DeleteThe videos are embarrassing! Jenn, good luck with the mammo today, and good on ya for having them done.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a pretty standard American male, who sticks his fingers in his ears whenever any of this "icky" stuff comes up. Never mind he's had two wives, a sister, two daughters and a stepdaughter. I doubt I can change him, at this point. But my grandson... fairly sure his nurse educator mother will have taught him more than the men know!
I was in the first class at my school (8th graders) who received sex ed as part of health class. It was taught by the wrestling coach. But all these years later, I bow to Mr. Wittibslager--he was calm, thorough, taught us both male and female bodies, childbirth, efficacy of birth control methods, and most importantly, tried to drill into us the meaning of consent, long long before that was a buzzword. I used his lessons when I talked about female and male bodies and sex with my two youngest nephews--because sadly, the quality of what passes for sex ed nowadays is pathetic.
ReplyDeleteI taught 4-H with our local vet. There were 4 sections, offered as one a year, and then the next until the cycle began again. One was reproduction. The kids were 10-21 years old. The vet section was always hands on – roll out intestines down the drive-way, anyone. No one squelched at reproduction – it was the favourite class. We told parents that anything was on the table – animal or people. If they asked, we would talk about it. Pigs giving birth was always fun – 11 little piglets all trying to be first out, and not polite about waiting in line.
ReplyDeleteNow for the anecdote. Ingrid (vet) had had a long day, and was late coming to our house. She was sooo tired and barely able to function, but bravely was pressing out. We were doing birthing. Things were going well, with our cardboard goat, and a normal birth (result a Kermit the Frog – a face only a mother could love.) Then a breech birth – a lot of turning, twisting, but eventually a bear was delivered with a lot a maneuvering. Then came a multiple birth, two naked babies! Ingrid needed a break, a tea and a pee. She left the room in preparation for the C-section.
This room was a large open area, and in the corner was a very large bird cage with lots of finches. Often the cats would sit on top of the cage (you could hear the finches chirp – stupid cat, and then move on with their life.) We also had 15 cats, one of which was Parker as in Nosy. He was stupider than a post and drag-aroundable. He was on the birdcage. One of the kids put his finger to the sshhh-position. All the kids were semi-silent and watching. He stood on the arm of the couch, grabbed Parker, and stuffed him inside the goat. Being Parker, he just lay inside the box quietly and unseen.
Ingrid comes back – eyes at half-mast she is so tired. She explains the mechanics of a c-section, and then goes to the ‘goat’s’ side, takes out her scalpel and proceeds to talk her way through the operation. Then she puts her hand blindly inside the cardboard skin wall, and into the pillowcase uterus… and screams. She pulls out Parker (remember all the previous births have been inert, and not warm). The kids hoot! By now, even she is awake, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing.
Not ever will any of those kids forget reproduction!
Good luck on the squeeze.
What a great story! I loved the way you taught birthing - all kids should be learning this. Is it too much to wish for that you have it on film?
DeleteI don't think The Hubby could point to various parts of the anatomy, but he's at least knowledgeable about the basics. And yes, he's heard about how a mammogram is done and winced.
ReplyDeleteMy son? No clue. He didn't want to hear the gory details when he was young and talking about sex with mom is "weird." LOL I assume his girlfriend has or is educating him.
And all of our million years on this blog, this is the best post there has ever been. I am not kidding this is hilarious – – – I have no idea. I honestly have no idea what my husband knows. Which proves how ridiculous it is. I’ve never had the task of explaining the female systems or workings to any one, now that I think of it. My props to all who have attempted that.
ReplyDeleteThe Jimmy Kimmel video is priceless!
I’m going to go ask my husband about mammograms right now. We’ll see how he responds and I will report back.
I answered my sons questions in detail and used correct terminology. We had some great conversations. Clearly I hadn't covered everything though, because he came home (age 10 or so) from a couple of days of Scout camp and told me that he only "jerked off twice". I managed not to burst out laughing and asked him if he knew what that meant. He thought it meant having bowel movements. I still laugh thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious. (Selden)
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ReplyDeleteNo children, no males in my home. I vaguely remember the girls and boys being separated for a short part of a school day when I was in fifth or six grade. The female teacher talked about menstrual cycles, I have no idea what the male teacher talked about.
ReplyDeleteThe male teacher probably talked about avoiding discussions about the menstrual cycle.
Delete