DEBORAH CROMBIE: It is always a treat to have the multi-talented author Clea Simon visit here on JRW. Clea writes both cozies and dark psychological suspense, which inspires transports of admiration from me--I can't imagine how you twist your brain into such different shapes! Clea's latest, THE BUTTERFLY TRAP, definitely falls on the suspense side of the ledger, and here she is to tell us what inspired it.
What patterns are playing out in your life?
Hi
and thanks for having me here today! Or here again, I should say, since you’ve
hosted me before. Which brings up the
question I’ve been wrestling with lately: What are the patterns you see in your
lives? And, maybe more to the point, how do we use them in our writing?
This
hit home just last week when I found myself teetering on the verge of an old
fight. In brief, I’d been home all day working on the computer, with the
exception of a short (and very careful!) walk in the icy day. My darling
husband Jon (no relation to Hank’s Jonathan) had gone to the Boston Public
Library to do some research. (He’s retired, but that just means more time for
his own writing projects.) And so when he came home, I nearly jumped on him,
full of things I wanted to tell him. How the writing was going. What the cat
did. Thoughts on the day’s news (oh, so many thoughts…). And I could almost see
him recoil.
To
explain, he’d been at the library, but he’d been dealing with people all day. And
I? Well, I’d only been dealing with the people in my head. All of whom were
dying to come out.
It
was all too much. I caught myself, and he met me halfway, asking about the
day’s work and more. But in that moment, I saw a dynamic I recognized.
You
see, my mother was an artist – a painter and printmaker, who dabbled in other
media as well and who also, of course, had the full responsibility for us kids.
My father was a doctor. An internist with a private practice, who saw patients
all day. Too often, that meant a conflict at the end of the day. He’d come
home, tired and wanting some quiet. And she, who hadn’t spoken to an adult all
day, would be bursting with thoughts – with ideas she wanted to share. Ready
for contact. Needless to say, it didn’t always end well.
In
the worst scenarios, the tension would simmer for about an hour. By then, we’d
be sitting at the dinner table – because, of course, despite her own work, my
mom had to have dinner on the table at six! At some point, my mother would
start to needle my father. Little things. Half-said comments that she wouldn’t
repeat. And, inevitably, at some point, my father would blow up. He was a big
man with a big voice, so this would be loud and, frankly, scary. My mother
would run off to the kitchen, crying. And I, her youngest (and female), would
follow to comfort her, leaving my father at the table. But even then I would be
aware that he wasn’t really angry. In fact, he’d be confused. What had
happened? Why had he exploded? He was like the proverbial bull in the china
shop at that point, unable to take another step without causing damage. And as
I hugged my Mom in the kitchen, I also felt sympathy for him. They were caught
in a pattern that neither had the awareness to break.
In
retrospect, so many other factors played into their relationship – and into
their fights. Her work, for one, was never taken as seriously as his – by my
father, by society at large. It certainly didn’t bring in an equivalent amount
of money, which is too often how we measure such things. And there had been an
imbalance in the relationship from the start: She’d been the beautiful artist
he had pursued, winning in part with the promise of being able to give her a
comfortable life – as a doctor’s wife. But was that who she wanted to be?
Although he supported her work (and, I believe, was proud when she sold to
museums and was honored in juried shows), did he ever understand it?
I
confess, it took another friend’s disastrous relationship to make me revisit
these old patterns in my own life. He and his then-love had come to visit, and
by the third day, while she was sleeping in, he and I were crying at the
kitchen table. It was impossible, he was saying. She drank too much. She was
crazy. “But R-,” I remember saying to him. “You like the crazy!
You’re drawn to it!”
“I know, but…” he replied (at least as I remember it. In truth, he might have
resisted my diagnosis a bit longer). And sometime that day, as they both packed
to go, it hit me. These patterns of love and anger. Where the fulfillment of
one dream means the denying of the other. The way we wreck the ones we adore.
And that night, I began to write The Butterfly Trap, a he said/she said
tale of love and obsession that explores the dynamics of relationships, gender
roles and expectations, along with lots of blood, dirty deeds, and sex (hey, I
do write to entertain!).
And
me and Jon? I don’t know if I’m any more careful these days. But I’m certainly
more aware. Patterns can so easily become habits, treads worn in our minds…
leading us down a tragic path.
What
about you? Do you see patterns from your family of origins that have persisted
in your lives? Are they useful or can you learn from them? Let me know!
About
The Butterfly Trap:
Anya
and Greg seem to be the golden couple, until dark secrets come to light and
unleash inevitable devastation in this slow-burn he said/she said psychological
suspense novel.
Greg
has his life all planned out: become a doctor, buy a house, and have a wife and
children – and when he meets Anya during his post-doc studies in Boston, all of
his dreams seem to come true. It’s love at first sight, and Greg doesn’t shy
away from changing his life to provide Anya, his beautiful butterfly, with
everything she wants and needs.
Anya
is a struggling artist, determined to make it as a painter in Boston’s art
scene – but getting involved with shy and sweet Greg could thwart her lifelong
ambition. Their relationship unfolds like a classic love story . . . except
that Anya seems to be hiding something that unsuspecting Greg soon must face.
Are
Greg and Anya truly the perfect couple, or will jealousy, uncertainty, and
dangerous machinations break them apart in the most dreadful way imaginable?
“The theme of fear and control in a relationship emerges in
Simon’s slow-burn latest, along with the exploration of the many ways two
people can deceive each other.” – Booklist
Before
turning to a life of crime (fiction), Boston Globe-bestselling author Clea
Simon
was a journalist. A native of New York, she came to Massachusetts to attend
Harvard University and never left. The author of three nonfiction books and 32
mysteries, most recently the psychological suspense The Butterfly Trap, her books alternate
between cozies (usually featuring cats) and darker psychological suspense, like
the Massachusetts Center for the Book “must reads” Hold Me Down and World
Enough. She lives with her husband, the writer Jon S. Garelick (another Boston
Globe alum), and their cat Thisbe in Somerville, Massachusetts.
What an interesting premise, Clea . . . and congratulations on your newest book. It certainly sounds intriguing and I'm looking forward to meeting Anya and Greg . . . .
ReplyDeleteThank you, Joan! The conflicts between desire and expectations just always intrigued me so...
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ReplyDeleteClea, congratulations on the new book! Clever you to find way to turn those family patterns into something even darker.
ReplyDeleteI remember being home with my sons when they were little and listening carefully to NPR over lunch so I would have SOMETHING to talk with their father with besides diapers when he came home from a day of professoring in Boston. He was a highly dysfunctional communicator with a lot of anger, and I am grateful his patterns didn't continue in my gentle, funny, loving sons as adults.
And you were able to model better behavior for your sons! And big hugs, we've all been there.
DeleteI'm so very glad, too, Edith! A credit to you as their mother, I would say. (And thank you!)
DeleteThe potential for drama in relationships is bottomless, isn't it? Especially in a marriage, where there are unspoken expectations on both sides, often at odds with each other. Clea, this sounds so different from other work of yours that I've read. Can you speak to the sort of mental acrobatics that went into writing a more serious, more chilling novel?
ReplyDeleteWhen we were younger, and especially when we had children at home, it was like trying to pound a square peg into a round hole, between my ways of coping and Steve's assumption that we were replicating his parents' very traditional marriage. Hold up there, *I* am not a traditional wife. The truth was, his mother strained against that kind of artificial parameter, too. However, she found ways to push against those bounds, as did I.
It is hard, though, isn't it? We're not encouraged to speak out and yet we must. And, thank you, in terms of mental acrobatics -- well, this book just wanted to be written. It is very different from my cozies, but I've been playing with darker psychological suspense in recent years (Hold Me Down, World Enough). I'm not sure if it is my earlier journalism (largely about psychological issues), my decades of therapy (!!), or simply being at an age where I can look back and see that, yes, I have both observed and participated in a lot of twisted dynamics. The fun is in trying to capture them on the page, of course. And to make them into a story!
DeleteCongratulations on the new book Clea! I am astonished that you were able to turn your personal insights into pages so quickly. It sounds irresistible. I wonder if you struggled to move away from real life to fiction as you wrote?
ReplyDeleteThank you! But quickly? Hm.... this book was several years in the making (not counting the decades of therapy.!) And, no, this was definitely fiction! I've written nonfiction about my family - that was enough! Though it all goes into the same grist mill....
DeleteHi again, Roberta (Lucy)! Realized I misread your question about moving away from real life to fiction. That's the fun of it, isn't it? Taking something that feels (or was) real and then just pushing it ever so slightly toward something more dramatic (or traumatic). Using what we know is real and then adding the "what if..." How do you do it?
DeleteClea, The Buttlerfly Trap sounds wonderful! Your premise is so true. Patterns play out over and over in families, and sometimes get passed down through the generations. Parents of little ones are so squeezed. I remember eagerly waiting for my son's dad to get home from work, so I could hand Matt over and have a break. The person coming home also needs a break,so the needs collide.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! (Clea here) Aren't these patterns interesting? (I mean, once we learn them and can find out way through...)
DeleteUnfortunately, some patterns play over and over in families. For example, a relative had a combative (verbal not physical) relationship with his father. And His father had the same type of relationship with his father. However the grandfather was "kind" to this relative. When the grandson was holding his new baby, my family said that my relative will be able to break the pattern.
DeleteSadly, that did not happen. That baby is now an adult and has anger issues. Goes around hitting/ punching certain relatives, whom he sees as "less important". He is so much like his great grandfather, who was cruel to people that he thought were "less important", and his unstable mother. The great grandfather always had to be in control.
Some Family members make excuses for bad behavior so this pattern continues. I made it clear to my family that as long as excuses are made for that relative's bad behavior, that pattern will continue.
I am sorry - and, yes, patterns are so hard to break! All you can do is be clear and to model better, more equitable communication. Wishing the best for that young man.
DeleteClea you explained such subtle dynamic relationships so well. It's so easy when in such a relationship to see the other as wrong, when it's not understanding the perspective of the other person.
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much! That is the highest compliment! Isn't it difficult, though? I mean, how can we get outside of our own heads?
DeleteCongratulations on the new book! It sounds captivating and kind of universal.
ReplyDeleteAs to patterns of communication, I learned early on in my happy marriage of 37 years and counting that at the end of the day, my husband is just like a kid getting home from school. He has a burning need to tell me all about his day. Once he does, he will eventually be happy to hear about mine, but that first dump of information is instinctive for him and really, nothing good comes from trying to stem it.
Another interesting pattern I learned over the years before we retired was that if something at work was bothering him he wanted to tell me all about it, while if something at work was bothering me I usually DIDN'T want to talk about it until a certain point. Discussing it while I was still struggling, but not close to figuring it out, only depressed me. So there was a certain dance to all that, too.
Aren't these patterns fascinating? Yes, we have to learn the dance!
DeleteCongratulations on the new book, Clea - and you raise a great question. I think you can either follow or reject aspects of your upbringing. It's important, as my mother would have said, not to "throw out the baby with the bath water."
ReplyDeleteYour mother sounds like my mother! But, oh, it's so hard! I mean, first you have to understand and identify the behavior/patterns that you've inherited/learned. How do you manage?
DeleteCongratulations on the new book.
ReplyDeleteThe Hubby's family is very...reticent. I always knew when he was mad because he wouldn't talk to me. Me, on the other hand, I talk and my temper is different - I blow hot and then I'm done. This wasn't a problem until a few years ago. TL:DR, he stopped talking, so I stopped talking, and we both thought the other was pushing away. It took a big blow-up and a commitment to talk about problems instead of burying them to get back on track.
First off, thank you! And then apologies - I responded to your comment but my response seems to have disappeared. I can relate so thoroughly to you - I'm also a "blow hot" type. And, yes, I know those big blow-ups that (ideally) result in re-sets and breakthroughs. They are not fun, even when they are necessary, and I'm so happy to hear you got through to the other side. There is no creation without destruction, but, oh, it can be hard!!
DeleteCongratulations on the book, Clea! And everyone's comments are so interesting. My husband is a dump everything talker and I am a withholder. If something is bothering me or worrying me, I have to find just the right time to talk about it. I'm sure I replicate these patterns in my fictional characters, but I don't really do it conciously. Hmm. Now I'm going to think about this.
ReplyDeleteWe all have our patterns, Debs! Just being aware of them is half the battle, don't you think? (And thank you!)
DeleteCongratulations on The Butterfly Trap, Clea! The name Anya reminded me of the character from Clan of the Cave Bears. Your name sounds familiar. Did you write another cozy mystery series with a Cat Detective?
ReplyDeleteHow clever of you to figure out the patterns in real life. Some of us repeat patterns without being aware of them.
Like Debs, I have to find the right time to talk about something that is bothering me.
I have written many cat cozies - and, yes, I read the Clan of the Cave Bear too, years ago! Isn't it interesting how we have to time our talks? I guess it's all about learning our partner's/other people's patterns! (And thank you!)
DeleteInteresting how we have to time our talks.
DeleteIsn't it? So you have found this true in your life as well?
DeleteThe author biography explains about the author’s other series of books. Guess most people do not read the entire blog.
DeleteThat's ok! I'm happy to explain - it must seem odd that I write both very gentle cozies and these darker books. But they're both part of me, you know? I find writing the cozies (most recently my "Witch Cat of Cambridge" series) very comforting, while books like "The Butterfly Trap" just feel honest and stark. Go figure!
DeleteReally loved this book. It was a wild ride!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWith my father, and with his family, if someone got mad, he/they got silent. I received the silent treatment more than once, as did my mom and siblings. Eventually it would blow over but sometimes it took weeks. I met a parishioner at coffee hour one Sunday whose family on one side was also Scandinavian. He experienced the same from his family. The silent treatment seems to be part of the Scandinavian culture. We had a good laugh about it.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you could laugh, Pat! Isn't it interesting how different cultures process things? I don't think I'd take well to the silent treatment.
DeleteThe British do silent and sarcastic!
DeleteHow can you be both silent and sarcastic? (I'm imagining a well-raised eyebrow)
DeleteHello, Clea, and congratulations on your newest book. How right you are about patterns in relationships and how hard it is not to fall into them, not just with spouses but with parents, siblings, and adult children. I agree that it's important to recognize patterns--what we do that hurts other people and what they do that hurts us--and, if possible, talk about them. But there are some things about ourselves that we simply cannot change. One way to make relationships work is to come to terms with certain traits that can't be fixed and find ways to work around their negative impact. For example, I had to learn to give my husband a full half hour after he got home from work before I said more than hello to him. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it!
ReplyDeleteHow smart of you! And kind, as well, to recognize that your husband needed that time. I've been married now for 27 years and I still have to catch myself...(and thank you! I find this family stuff is just an endless well of inspiration. You know the Philip Larkin poem, "This be the verse" ?)
DeleteBother, I seem to be logged out again, KimHaysBern - that's me, Clea above.
DeleteIt's such a true poem, Clea! And the story you told about your parents is such a good example of it.
DeleteWhen you consider that each person brings to a relationship their own family’s approach to communicating (or not!), it’s amazing any of them succeed. I tried the silent treatment early in our relationship, not knowing that my m-i-l was a master of it. My husband had learned to ignore her and was probably just as happy that I wasn’t talking about something he wasn’t interested in to begin with. We’re still nowhere near perfect in our communication skills, but therapy and living together for so long has helped us learn the ways that work - for us.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your new book, Clea! And that’s a great picture of you and Jon! — Pat S
Clea, hello! And good news that another Clea Simon is about to hit my shopping cart. Living and working alone, I sometimes forget how it was, sharing news/events/thoughts with a spouse. I'm keenly aware, when spending time with friends/family, that I'm not the center of any universe!
ReplyDeleteYou have me really curious as to what Anya's dark secret is. And do they seem to be the golden couple because "Greg doesn’t shy away from changing his life to provide Anya, his beautiful butterfly, with everything she wants and needs." I think it's a dangerous pattern to always be putting your spouse (or anyone else really) on a pedestal. I just don't think that's a lasting formula. And, to be willing to change your life however is needed to suit another person's. I think "be true to yourself" is a much healthier approach. That doesn't mean two people can't change some things to be a better person and a better partner, but to constantly cater to someone else's wants and needs sounds exhausting. It's funny though. My husband and I have been married 48 years, will be 49 this year, and I don't know that I have any major patterns that have made that possible. Well, maybe one. Communicate how you feel to your partner. Don't hold it in until there's a volcanic eruption. And, I love what Victoria above said, "I'm keenly aware when spending time with friends/family that I'm not the center of any universe"
ReplyDelete