DEBORAH CROMBIE: I suspect that many of us these days find ourselves in a fairly constant state of stress and anxiety, with the daily firehose of distressing news. I know I keep realizing that my shoulders are up to my ears and I have to remind myself to take deep breaths. None of this is very healthy, or good for productivity!
In search of a coping mechanism, I've turned to my old transcendental meditation practice. And I do mean OLD. I took the TM course with my parents back in the mid seventies. TM was very much in the news in those days, with the Beatles and other luminaries having visited the Maharishi's ashram in India a few years before. (Photo of the Maharishi courtesy of Wikipedia.)
This course was, of course, my mother's idea. My mom was quite the hippy in her day, an adopter of meditation and health food--she was a big believer even then in what we now refer to as a Mediterranean diet. She was always worried about my dad's health (he lived to be 96) so I'm sure that was her motivation. TM is reputed to have a lot of benefits, including lowering blood pressure and relieving stress. It's also supposed to improve concentration, something I needed then, when I was finishing my college degree, and I could certainly use now.
It's not hard. You sit quietly in a chair for twenty minutes twice a day, while repeating the "mantra" given to you by your TM teacher. (Don't quote me, but I think the repetition of any word works.) I've been managing twenty minutes at least once a day, and trying for twice. It really does help.
Dear REDs and readers, what do you do to find moments of calm in a sea of worry?
Here's a lovely little treat to help you relax, which I came across in my college newsletter, the Austin College a capella choir singing a piece called "Northern Lights." And I will shamefacedly admit that I listened to a minute and then almost scrolled on, because "I didn't have time." But I made myself slow down, relax, and listen to the whole piece, and I was so glad I did. I swear my blood pressure dropped in that five minutes!
Quiet, gentle music is always calming [as is NOT listening to the news] . . . . and the choir piece is lovely . . . .
ReplyDeleteYes, maybe I will go back to listening to Gregorian chant.
DeleteI love Gregorian chants. Listened to them a lot in college.
DeleteJulie, my partner, is a choral singer, so I’ve had a steady diet of chorale over three decades. My absolute favorite is the Faure Requiem.
DeleteLike you, my Mom was an early believer in Mediterranean diets. I grew up knowing it was a given that we would always have salad at the dinner table. However my Dad loved red meat so my Mom often included beef or meat for dinner.
ReplyDeleteQuestion about TM - was that the philosophy that Louisa May Alcott’s Father believed in?
Thinking about what keeps me calm. No glancing at the news until after I have a cuppa tea or coffee and something to eat. Remember to take deep breath. Do some stretches and other types of light exercises when I wake up. Mindfulness is another way to keep calm by focusing on what I am doing at the moment.
Great topic and I look forward to reading others comment.
The Alcotts were Transcendentalists, Diana. A way of thinking about empowering humans and equality, if I have it right.
DeleteGreat question, Diana. I think the Alcotts and their group were more focused on individualism and equality, as Karen said, while Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (to give him his full title) believed that humans were capable of an enlightened state and collective consciousness.
DeleteThank you Karen and Debs
DeleteFear not, my friends, this will not be a 50000 wd essay on meditation. I am a daily meditator, BUT many years ago I learned the 'multitask' meditation technique. In a sense meditation is a practice that teaches the mind to become disciplined. So 20 mins a day does not have to be 20 continuous minutes. Brushing your teeth? Do it with awareness, Washing dishes? (my favorite) do it with awareness, driving in traffic and the road range is creeping up, breathe through it and think awareness. Be present to the presence. In this beautiful world filled with 8 billion opportunities to see ourselves in others, breathe. After all breathing is the very first thing a human does when they come into this world, and the last thing we do as we transition to somewhere, somewhen or someother place.
ReplyDeleteCoralee--yes! The 20 minutes doesn't have to be all at once is a great piece of wisdom to share. Thank you!
DeleteCora Lee, thank you for this. I can do 20 minutes in various increments of awareness!
DeleteCoralee - Thank you for this. Working full time, trying to write, trying to not ignore the hubby, trying to get daily (weekly?) exercise....you get it...hard to find chunks of time for any of this. The idea of being present in every day chores is manageable when days are busy...and working towards bigger chunks of time something to shoot for. I'm inspired. Thank you!
DeleteThank you, Coralee! Yes, mindfullness helps, if you can keep your mind from wandering into the doom loop.
DeleteThe doom loop, ever present 🥲
DeleteThis is part of the discipline, like in TM, you watch the thought 'bubble up' and then disappear w/o attaching to it. Breathing in (impermanence, breathing out impermanence). ps. I did TM about 40 years ago. It was a nice door to meditation.
DeleteOoh thank you Coralee - that makes it easy to even imagine doing for a crazy person like me.
DeleteWhen I was young with small children, I meditated regularly, using the teachings of Eknath Easwaran, a gentle, persuasive writer (he had studied to be a professor of English) who founded an ashram in Petaluma, CA. I discovered his writings through the vegetarian cookbook LAUREL'S KITCHEN, written by three of his followers. Money was tight but over time I bought all his books. When my life sped up and out of the house, my meditation practice failed, but Easwaran's worldview on spirituality (the perennial philosophy) and his recommendation of one-pointed attention throughout the day (a lot of what Coralee describes — definitely a discipline, as I'm so busy multi-tasking my brain is often barely present) have stayed with me forever. And all these years later, when I wake up terrified in the middle of the night, I still repeat my mantram, a one-line prayer. Meditation definitely helps. It's a great idea to go back to it. Thank you, Debs. (Selden)
ReplyDeleteSelden, I had no idea that Easwaran was connected with Laurel's Kitchen!! That was, and is, one of my favorite cookbooks and still has a hallowed place on my shelves. I'm going to check out his books.
DeleteSelden, I too, fell in love with Eknath Easwaran's books decades ago and have tried (with limited success!) to incorporate his teachings into my daily life. Some of his recordings are now available from Audible. He advocated repeating the prayer of St. Francis as a form of meditation, and I've at least remembered that at many stressful times over the years.
DeleteMeg, yes! Not only have I memorized the prayer of St. Francis, but on my one visit to England I found a wonderful calligraphic version of it that is framed in my kitchen.
DeleteOops. That was me, Selden. And yes, Debs, Laurel Robertson (the Laurel of the Kitchen) was and is connected the the Ramagiri ashram in Petaluma. I wrote to her once in the early 1980s, to ask her a question about buttermilk powder (!). She was delightfully friendly in reply.
DeleteChop wood, carry water.Be present in the moment. When I can do that, it's both calming and rewarding.
DeleteI walk outside when I can. Right now I'm headed west for 24 hours with my baby girl, the most fun and calm-inducing time in the world. I focus on Ida Rose (these days chasing her around the house). we play and sing and read books, and that's it. Bliss!
ReplyDeleteEdith, wouldn't your quiet reflection time in Quaker Meeting count as meditation? I've often thought there must be similarities.
DeleteFor sure, Karen. And it was a great solace this Sunday.
DeleteI read when I am stressed. These days, I usually have at least 2 books open at the same time and at least one audiobook, too. Then I switch between books. I am going to try meditation in the different ways that several of you have described it. Unfortunately, once you pick your head up again, the world is still spinning out of control.
ReplyDeleteTo paraphrase a quote from Jayne in the movie 'Serenity", the world is damaging my calm.
ReplyDeleteI cope with these offensive tactics by trying to avoid things as much as possible. I gave up watching the news broadcast in the morning before work. That helps a little but logging into the Internet doesn't always help because of days like today when I opened up the browser and what was the first thing I saw? A story saying someone who only breeds hatred and discontent is going to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.
It is crap like that that makes me realize the world is doomed, even if it is coming at a snail's pace.
So I unplug myself (figuratively speaking) and just try to go about my day focusing on those few small things I can control and ignoring the other things so I don't snap...like Bill Bixby intoned on "The Incredible Hulk" TV show, "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
Thanks for the a cappella piece. It's lovely! I have meditated (centering prayer) every day for years. Each year I choose a word, usually a internal quality that I would like to grow. I sit for 20 minutes and return to the breath and my word. When Richard Rohr's Center for Action and Contemplation offers virtual sit meditations during Lent and Advent, I participate in those. It's so powerful to meditate with a group from across the world. Right now everything's hard for me--the politics, worry about friends being deported, my broken wrist, an unexplained estrangement from my son. I can't sleep (it's 4:25 am here) and I need to keep trying to return to my center. Deep inhale/deep exhale.
ReplyDeleteThe choral piece is beautiful! I use a variety of calming techniques. My Reiki therapist suggested picking an image of a place that makes me feel happy and safe to focus on. At night I often silently “sing” hymns that I’ve known all my life and that quiets my brain. Sometimes I visualize Tai Chi movements. All of the techniques work at various times to settle me so if one doesn’t do the trick I move on and try another.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, I make hot chocolate and listen to choral religious music (Monteverdi Vespers) angrateful that I've made it through another day.
ReplyDeleteI love Monteverdi's religious and secular music. I find it very moving, but also calming.
DeleteIt is sad for me to report that I have started watching youtube which I never watched before, to see pundit’s comments on things north and south, and getting stuck. That doesn’t help at all. To add to politics and world affairs, health issues have resurfaced – whole new treatment – Car-T Antigen. If anyone has any comments on this I would appreciate them (spare at seaside dot ns dot ca) and we are back to living on the head of a pin – be there NOW! I am trying to garden, and have not ordered my seeds yet – started the order in Jan and here it is March, and now back to the hospital routine, so maybe there will not really be a garden.
ReplyDeleteIn between I read (listen), but yesterday I found myself out of audiobooks, so I had to go to the library to get one. That took 20 mins, because I either could not find a new book that I had not read, or it was another case of put a hold and wait. I need a new author with a good series. Grumble, grumble, maybe the sun will come out…
Margo, I feel for you! When my garden went, it was hard to accept. I still mourn the loss.
DeleteMargo, is this a new treatment for your sister? Order those seeds! If they don't all get planted this spring, they will keep.
DeleteHer remission stopped while she was still in the lower-dose chemo. This treatment is comparative to a stem cell transplant which apparently she is too old for. Supposedly if it works she is cured. Thursday is meet the dr to see if she is accepted, then cells are withdrawn, sent to the states for growth to a big enough mass to inject, and then begin the chemo and transplant. It will be 8-11 weeks with care being needed to be with her 24 hr/day. Long go for all of us! of course the hospital is 5 hrs away.
DeleteFingers crossed for your sister and the family, Margo.
DeleteMargo, I wish for you and your family the best of luck with this new regimen. You are a wonderful sister. (Which genre do you like? We can get the hive mind seeking new series for you.) — Pat S
DeleteThanks Pat. I like cozy mysteries to go to sleep with - currently working on Jana Deleon, but have to limit myself - they are so good that I can't stop reading and never get to sleep! Audiobooks are the variety of Louise penny, Debs, Julia, just today got another Paige Shelton, but need a new author. I keep hoping someone has found one on when we are having reading days. A book takes about 2 days, so I tend to go through them quickly. As for today, dealing with Iona Whishaw, doing a puzzle and unfortunately listening to the news. I weep for both our countries.
DeleteThank you for the music, it is sublime. I understand the need to take time out from the craziness of the world, I just hope it’s also possible to find a way to counter the craziness.
ReplyDeleteMe too, Debra, me too.
DeleteThank you so much for this. I am reassured, at least, that I am not alone… My shoulders are up to my ears all the time recently and I have consciously tried to let go. Thank you for reminding us again…
ReplyDeleteAs a retired teacher of U.S. history, I am actually crying a lot. (Selden)
DeleteSelden, virtual hugs from northern Ohio. I'm trying not to cry--it upsets the animals and my grand-nephew is currently in residence.
DeleteI want to cry and to scream, every single day. Instead, take a deep breath...
DeleteI told a friend yesterday that I can’t read Heather Cox Richardson right now because she is telling us the truth. And it’s so hard to contemplate. —Pat S
DeleteCollectively we may generate an eighth sea from our tears. Blessings, all. Elisabeth
DeleteUgh, Jay. I gave up watching the news years ago, but you're right--the headlines pop up everywhere. Everything that used to help keep me calm is now not working. But I'm going to keep Coralee's comments in mind--snatch every moment of peace that you can.
ReplyDeleteDeborah, the choral piece was lovely, and so calming! I listened with my eyes closed and did some deep breathing. I will certainly be trying this tonight while I am actively NOT watching the television. As many daily walks outside as possible (when ice isn’t a problem) help. Deep breathing and paying attention to it. Reading madly, mostly mysteries. (I’m working my way though the Kindcaid/James series of your) So much to think about and learn as I enjoy. I haven’t watched the national TV news in months.
ReplyDeleteSuzette, walking is the best antidote. Unfortunately my bad knee is keeping me from doing what would help tremendously.
DeleteOh Deborah, I’m so sorry about your knee! Hope for it getting back to working without pain
DeleteDaily solo walks along the river or in the forest trails work for me too. We have 4-5 months of snow & ice so that does not stop me.
DeleteWatching the news and the people yelling--and the commercials in between--is far too stressful for me, so I have not done it since 2010. At least I can set the tone in my mind as I read analysis of current events. It helps to separate truth from, ahem, alternative facts, too.
ReplyDeleteMy late cousin Mary Ann was a reformed Franciscan postulant, after 8 years in a convent, starting in 9th grade. She decided not to take her former vows to become a nun when she realized she was a lesbian. Because of her long daily prayer habit Mare was a very centered and comforting person. I remember telling her about the stress of raising three kids with a mostly absent partner (traveling six months of the year), and her telling me how to meditate. When I said I never had a minute of my own until my nightly bath, she taught me how to meditate in a tub of hot water. It made such a difference to my peace of mind.
I need to get back to taking hot baths and meditating.
I have meditated in the bath off and on for years, when I couldn't manage any other time of the day. And even without deliberate meditation, it's hard to keep up that tension when you're sitting in hot water!
DeleteYes, it's the ultimate prep for sleep, too, especially if you add, as I do, a couple handsful of lavender-scented Epsom salts. Very soothing.
DeleteYour cousin Mary Ann sounds very interesting. She entered a convent in 9th grade - about age 14?
DeleteYes, Anon. That's when many young women became novitiates, which isn't actually the same as entering the convent. That is actually a formal, religious process, very similar to the bonds of marriage.
DeleteIn fact, nuns are often referred to as brides of Christ. They take their final vows, and symbolically leave their birth families to enter contemplative life for the rest of their lives. It no longer happens today, but women entering the convent also used to change their names, as well, further symbolizing their commitment to religious life.
DeleteOne of my aunts also got to the point of taking her final vows, and changed her mind. In her case she had contracted scarlet fever, and was sent home to convalesce. Once she was stronger, Grandma sent her to the store on a light errand, where she ran into a boy, now man, she'd known in grade school. She never returned to the convent, and had quite an exciting life with Uncle Ray. They lived all over the world, in Greece, Dakar, Australia, and in England.
DeleteKaren, what a ride your au
DeleteKaren, that was me (Flora) above, trying to respond on my phone. I just wanted to say that your aunt certainly had a wild ride of a life!!
DeleteLent begins tomorrow, and both of the Lenten disciplines I have chosen for this year tie into trying to find more peace and focus on the right things.
ReplyDeleteI have long considered getting off social media, but always end up rejecting the idea because there are many people from the various seasons of my life with whom my only contact now is Facebook. What I am trying during Lent is to limit myself to one short visit per day. It is my hope that in that time I will still get to share in the joys and heartbreaks and prayer needs of my loved ones, but it will prevent me from doomscrolling and spending time on posts that only inflame me and make me feel powerless.
The second is that I am trying the Ignatian Examen, a method of prayer promoted by St. Ignatius of Loyola in the 1500s that involves stopping for 15 minutes to express thanksgiving for all that I'm grateful for today, asking the Spirit to help me in the areas where I haven't done so well today, ask forgiveness and healing, and pray for God's help in the coming day. I've never done this before, so I don't know how it will go for me. But it seems like just the thing for our current times.
I have to dash out for something this morning, but will respond to everyone when I get back. Meanwhile, keep the good suggestions coming!
ReplyDeleteToday this is particularly apt today as I sit here watching a slow leak in my retirement funds as the markets tank. Not to mention... best not to go there.
ReplyDeleteI wish I was someone who could conceivably meditate. I tried chair yoga. Once. Too much breathing.
I confess, getting things DONE is what calms me. Or making LISTS about what I need to get done. "Putting" it in a drawer but writing it down. And repeating the instructions to myself: don't worry so much about what you can't control. And Hug your kids. It's too bad I"m allergic to cats because having the right one in my lap or purring in my ear is exceptionally therapeutic.
I was just thinking the same thing Hallie. In the past we knew the stocks would always rebound over the long haul. Fingers crossed.
DeleteThanks for that beautiful piece of music, Debs. Today was sunny and spring-like, and I walked along the Aare (the river close my house) for forty-five minutes, and it did me good. Also listened to a short baroque piano piece my sister sent me (she's playing it), and that was calming, too. Sounds like exercise and music are essential for a lot of us.
ReplyDeleteI love the choir, Debs! I frequently have classical music on in the background, which I find grounding. My favorite decompression technique is to sit on the settee by the kitchen woodstove and soak in the warmth while reading a book. Having a dog or cat to pet is also a nice add-on! It doesn't take long - maybe a chapter - but I find it calms me and sets the tone for the rest of the day.
ReplyDeleteBut how do you stop at only one chapter, Julia?! — Pat S
DeleteI used to get my meditation by swimming. I did ocean open water swimming early in the morning when the sun was coming up over the horizon and birds flying overhead and sea lions and fish all around. Now I can't take the cold waters. So I cozy up on the sofa as the sun streams into the room and I read a fav cozy mystery.
ReplyDeleteDeborah, I'm so grateful to have read your words and those of the commenters this morning. The world around us is imploding, and I, (though not a Catholic), like Susan, have decided to make Lent a time for (re)adding meditation to my life instead of trying to give something up. Maybe the silent focus on peace from even as small a group as we Reds readers will make a difference.
ReplyDeleteMeditation and relaxation is good for our soul and health. But, when I was younger and had the fortitude, I joined a letter writing (to congress/senate) group and surprisingly it was very therapeutic.
ReplyDeleteThank you Deborah for the reminder. I haven't listened to Gregorian chants for years. They are wonderful aural support for meditation. I enjoy Native American flute music and drumming too. In the last few years I've opted for quiet meditation but the chants bring a different emotional level to meditation. My heart swells with the music. Lovely post amid chaotic times.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful blog, and thank you for revisiting TM. I had forgotten all about it. My stress reliever is losing myself in a book. Usually romance or rom com. I usually read mysteries to keep up with the trends, but romance is so appealing for it's guaranteed HEA and I turn to it in turbulent times.
ReplyDeleteYes, romance and romcoms are my comfort reading. I want to know everything will be okay at the end.
DeleteMy ADD brain is too bouncy to want to meditate. However, I can sit calmly and read a book, get totally engrossed in it, and be as relaxed as all get out. Reading is my meditation.
ReplyDeleteI start each day with exercise that ends in a short meditation. It works.
ReplyDeleteI came to appreciate choral music when my son joined the high school choir. I was watching the video you shared while listening to it, but notifications kept popping up on my screen. I closed my eyes to avoid them and instantly felt better. Thank you for this, Debs. — Pat S
ReplyDeleteOne of my #1 decompression techniques is to keep notifications turned off. Text messages are on, because sometimes they are urgent, otherwise things can wait until I feel like checking them.
DeleteI am thinking that we all to make a huge mess of pancakes or maybe french toast, ignore all things to the contrary, slather them with butter, pour on the maple syrup, add a fried egg or two, and maybe ice cream and dig in. Add tea if you need it. There - a sugar high - wahoo!
ReplyDeleteI spend time in my garden. Tending my kale and spinach and tomatoes and my new baby peach tree along with the herb beds and other fruit trees gets me outside in the sun and gives me balance.
ReplyDeleteIf you check the numerous scientific studies done on TM you will find that it is different from other techniques, like repeating a random word.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have practiced TM for over 50 years and think it has made a significant difference in how we deal with our lives.
This is not to say that he does yell at the news! He just knows enough to turn it off. :o)
That is great, Libby, and so encouraging.
DeleteIt is crazy here in north Texas today! We had storms come throught about 5:30 this morning that did a huge amount of damage. Over 300,000 thousand people are without power. Fortunately, we were spared that, but the top was ripped off our pergola and we have a lot of tree damage. Deep breath...
ReplyDeleteOh, Debs, I'm so sorry. (Selden)
DeleteI love to walk, and when I do, take in the gardens and flowers or interesting side streets. The other activity that gives me perspective is poetry. Reading it and writing it.
ReplyDeleteSince January 1 I have experienced;
ReplyDelete1. TIA that resolved in a couple of hours
2. Multiple CT scans, an MRI, and a PET scan
3. The CTs and MRI showed nothing in the way of a brain bleed or a clot anywhere, therefore was not a stroke. That’s the good news
4. However there was an “incidental” finding, a suspicious lesion in my rt lung.
5. Thus the PET scan
6. In the main time our Penny Lane got sick, started losing weight, was refusing all foods including liver, weight dropping from twelve pounds to seven, and died on the 17th of February
7. We are devastated
8. The PET scan indicates a malignant tumor, and a biopsy is scheduled for St Patrick’s Day. I’ll wear green, just in case that helps
9. Then I’ll know what the plan is, radiation, chemo, surgery, or some combination thereof
10. And our country is facing complete and total ruin unless something takes out the Orange Despot, the Vice-village Idiot, and Elon
That’s pretty much it except I think I’ll be glowing in the dark soon.
Oh Ann, I did wonder. A candle will be lit on the 17th for you.
DeleteAnn, sending healing vibes and best wishes, virtual hugs, and I'm so sorry about your Penny Lane.
DeleteOh, Ann, I am so sorry!! Sending you so much love and support, and will have you in my prayers on the 17th. xxxx
DeleteThank you all so much
DeleteThank you all so much
DeleteAnn, so sorry to hear this. Sending healing vibes your way and prayers too
DeleteAnn, what a devastating couple of months! So sorry about Penny Lane and your health and our country. We are holding you in the brightest light we can muster. xoxo
DeleteAnn, sending emergency energy for healing, and lots of love, too.
ReplyDeleteI just read the above news. So sorry about all that you've been dealing with, Ann. Sending support and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Ann--I'm thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteHealing Light and gentle hugs, Ann. <3 I limit exposure to news, online St. Louis Post-Dispatch and a few select newsletters. Colbert filled me in on yesterday's speech, which I could not watch, and Pete Buttigieg gave perspective and hope. Classical music from KWUM-3 keeps a calm background, and books help focus on other things. I'm seeing a new chiro, recommended by a favorite nibling, and it's helping to straighten some of the twisted out of shape issues.
ReplyDelete* nibling, child of one's sibling. I'm trying to get it into the dictionary. ;-)
-- Storyteller Mary
I still have my Bearscendental meditation kit from the '70s. Maybe I should put it back into use.
ReplyDeleteStoryteller Mary
Nothing relaxes me more than the ocean. The smell and rhythm is almost hypnotic. A true catharsis if ever there was one.
ReplyDelete