Are You Brave?

 

LUCY BURDETTE: : it seems like there are a lot of ways we need to have courage these days. But maybe it’s always been so? When it comes to physical bravery, I’m not so great. I suppose I would try to rescue someone if I saw they were drowning in a rough sea, though I think they could do better than me. As far as running into a burning house? It’s not going to happen.

But there are other kinds of bravery, including standing up to bullies. Earlier this winter, I went to an event featuring Amanda Jones in conversation with Judy Blume. Amanda is a librarian in Louisiana who decided it was not OK to ban books in her library. She has become an outspoken critic of book banning, as has Judy. And both of them have suffered from death threats for speaking up about their opinions. In politics, we are watching many people who are afraid to speak up about what’s going on in our country, and I can understand the fear of retaliation. I would like to think I would not fold in these conditions.

So that is the question of the day, Reds. Are you brave? Physically? Mentally?

HALLIE EPHRON: It’s a great question… but I don’t think any of us know what we’re capable of until we’re *in* the situation. I remember when my daughter Molly was maybe two years old and we were at an outdoor party and I wasn’t paying attention and she fell into a hot tub. Believe you me, I raced over there, jumped in, pulled her right out. Scraped my legs in the process and my clothes were soaked, but she was fine. For the rest of the party she kept insisting that she wanted to “Jump in Cuzzi.”

As far as standing up to bullies, that’s a truly scary prospect, and scarier still the more powerful the bully.

JENN McKINLAY: I think I am. I have an intolerance of injustice and a big mouth so I’ve gotten myself into a pickle a time or two. I’m also six feet tall and very active so not much scares me on a physical level. Thankfully, my older brother taught me how to fight. I have no problem facing down a person behaving badly because I dealt with all sorts of folks at the central library in Phoenix for twenty years. Hub has told me repeatedly that he fell in love with me when we were working together at the library and a male patron was having a mantrum, so I marched right over to the guy, got in his face, and said, “Get your sh*t together. Right now.” Honestly, I don’t remember it, but yeah, it tracks.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I am a physically small person, and I’m a pleaser. (Isn’t it interesting how children of the same family can be so different? I can’t imagine that my super type A brother ever worried about people being unhappy with him!) I hate arguing, and will avoid confrontation whenever possible. So no, not brave in that respect. I have, however, done things that completely surprised me. Twice I’ve jumped, fully clothed, into swimming pools after toddlers who’d fallen in, while even the kids' parents stood frozen. I’ve dealt with emergencies on the street when other bystanders wouldn’t. I’ve driven my husband to the hospital when he cut off the end of his finger (including putting the severed finger joint on ice in a plastic bag.) And, after twenty-five years of having German shepherds, I have a surprisingly impressive command voice. So I guess you never know how you’ll react until you do. But I wish I was better at standing up to bullies.

RHYS BOWEN: This is something I have often debated with myself. In high school my daughter was Anne in the Diary of Anne Frank and I used to wonder would I have to courage to hide my Jewish friends in my attic? I certainly would have the courage to speak out, to challenge ICE if I saw them dragging someone off the street. I’ve always had a strong sense of justice (hence Molly Murphy) But if it got to a stage, like Nazi Germany, when normal citizens could disappear for speaking out, would I still be brave? I really don’t know. I’d hope so. I have done a few brave things in my life: when I was up at drama school in London there was a horrible train crash in an awful smog. No buses, no transport, nothing. Of course now I’d check into a hotel for the night but I walked home, 14 miles in dense fog. Got home at 3 am. My parents must have been frantic. (no cellphones in those days)

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Brave. Huh. That’s such a question that’s impossible to answer. I have done brave things–audacious, like asking really hard and unpleasant questions, and risky, out of responsibility as a reporter–carrying hidden cameras into cult churches, going undercover and in disguise  to get to the truth of a story. But is that actually brave?

 

I’ve raced toward tear gas in a hostage situation, but we missed the good video because my photographer had stopped to put a mask over his face. Was I brave or stupid?

 

 I’ve jumped fully clothed into our swimming pool to save little baby Eli, who had, in a flash, decided to leap  in. It never crossed my mind what to do, I don't even remember “deciding.”

 

I’ve handled truly scary  medical emergencies for my husband, but is that brave?

 

These days I think there’s a different definition of brave, and I think we are tested every day.  How valuable is the principle compared to our personal “safety” or risk?

 

Would I run to the ocean to save a person who is in trouble? who would know until the time comes.  

 

Would you put a sign in front of your house declaring your position on anything? 

Is THAT brave?

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Wow, what a thought-provoking question, Lucy. On the one hand, like Debs, I hate confrontation and I almost compulsively try to see everyone's side in a disagreement. On the other hand, one of the great joys of aging is that my GAF index has gone way, way down, so I'm just not bothered if people disapprove of me.

 

I think real bravery can only be revealed in the moment, and I think it requires acting in spite of fear, not because one is actually fearless. The famous picture of the Chinese citizen blocking the row of tanks at Tiananmen Square is an icon of bravery for a reason - that man must have been so scared, but he stood up anyway.